Nula

By Rick Ench

Imagine a world where laughter no longer exists, where it has been gone for so long that no one even remembers it. Then one day, as a random ray of sunlight finds its way past the somber, gray clouds and through the window of a delivery room in the Elmer Memorial Hospital, a strange sound is heard reverberating through the hallways. It’s coming from Baby Nula, who is making her first appearance in this very serious world. Now imagine what happens next…

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hawes & Jenkins Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jan 3, 2024
• ISBN: 9781637842126

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Nula

Rick Ench

ISBN 978-1-63784-211-9 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63784-212-6 (digital)

Copyright © 2023 by Rick Ench

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Hawes & Jenkins Publishing

16427 N Scottsdale Road Suite 410

Scottsdale, AZ 85254

www.hawesjenkins.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

To my two beautiful daughters, Alycea and Lila. They have brought joy, mirth, and especially love to my life in so many ways!

Chapter 1

That Sound!

Chapter 2

Elmer Memorial Elementary School

Chapter 3

The Wild Goose Chase

Chapter 4

Matilda

Chapter 5

Howie

Chapter 6

Mirth?

Chapter 7

Big Trouble

Chapter 8

The Treehouse

Chapter 9

The Laughter Epidemic!

Chapter 10

The Elmer Institute

Chapter 11

The Nightly News

Chapter 12

The Word

About the Author

To my two beautiful daughters, Alycea and Lila. They have brought joy, mirth, and especially love to my life in so many ways!

Chapter 1

That Sound!

H ee-hee-hee, ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee. The ridiculous sound reverberated from the walls of the small delivery room before finding its way out of the door and into the dull, beige-colored hallways of the Elmer Memorial Hospital. As the doctor held the just-delivered baby by her tiny legs, a look of astonishment momentarily transformed the serious expression on her rigid face. She had never before heard such bizarre sounds coming from an infant's mouth.

This is extremely peculiar, remarked Dr. Boris. I don't believe I've ever heard anything quite like it.

Neither have I, replied her young, austerely attractive assisting intern, Dr. Peaches, who was trying to repress a sudden and nearly uncontrollable grin from forming on her face.

Dr. Boris looked at Nurse Crochet, the weathered but resolutely dependable pediatrics nurse who just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.

It sure doesn't sound like crying to me, he offered.

In all his years at the hospital, he, too, had never before heard such an odd sound coming from a newborn baby.

Beyond the glass window of the delivery room door, the faces of several other curious hospital employees soon appeared, having been drawn there by the peculiar sound. Dr. Boris flashed an unwelcoming glance, and they quickly disappeared.

Effie Slowglow, the baby girl's mother, however, was unaware of the commotion being caused by her tiny daughter. She was just so tremendously relieved to have the delivery over with that she could think of little else. A proud glow, however, soon radiated from her round face when the baby was placed in her waiting arms.

Meanwhile, outside, a ray of sunlight managed to slip through the dark rain clouds and illuminate the somber, gray hospital building just as Claude Slowglow, the baby's father, was bounding up its long marble steps. He had been attending a meeting in another town when he received word that his wife was ready to have the baby almost a week ahead of schedule. He rushed to the hospital as soon as he could, but he still missed her birth by a few minutes.

That certainly was an odd delivery, said Nurse Crochet after the mother and baby were taken from the delivery room.

Indeed, it was, agreed Dr. Boris. But in every other respect, I found the baby completely normal.

Should we say anything to the parents? asked Dr. Peaches.

No, I think not, answered Dr. Boris. Unless we find later that a problem is indicated, there's no reason to needlessly alarm them. She paused and thought for a moment. That is unless the child begins making that sound again.

Is that likely, Doctor? asked Nurse Crochet.

No, not really. But I suppose one never knows with something like this. Then turning to Dr. Peaches, she said, Check the database for any similar cases. If you don't find anything, just include a report of the incident in the birth records, and we'll wait and see what happens.

Dr. Peaches nodded her head in agreement as all three left the delivery room.

Outside the door, they were greeted by the very anxious and exhausted new father.

How are they, Doc? he asked, still breathing heavily from running.

Ahh, fine, they're just fine, replied Dr. Boris, somewhat unconvincingly.

Are you sure? Where are they?

Relax, Mr. Slowglow. Your wife is already back in her room with your baby daughter, answered Dr. Peaches.

When can I see them?

Right now, if you'd like, answered Dr. Boris. Nurse Crochet will show you the way.

Thanks. Thanks for everything, the proud father said as he shook their hands and handed each one a cigar.

Nurse Crochet took the cigar and reluctantly placed it in his pocket. What a ridiculous custom, he thought to himself as he walked down the hallway followed by Mr. Slowglow. Why do fathers still hand out cigars? No one has smoked one of these filthy, unhealthy things in ages.

Soon they arrived at the room of Effy Slowglow and her baby.

Isn't she just beautiful, said Effy. I think we should name her Nula after my grandmother.

Then Nula it is, agreed Claude Slowglow as he carefully picked up his tiny daughter and cradled her in his arms.

Well over a year had passed before the ludicrous sound made its fateful reentry into the very serious world of Baby Nula's birth. It happened on a chilly and rainy April 1, a day very much like the one on which she was born. That morning, her parents were running late. They scrambled around the house grabbing baby bottles and blankets, shoes, jackets, and keys. Finally, in the car, Ms. Slowglow quickly snapped Nula into her safety seat, as Mr. Slowglow fired up the magnetic repulsion engine of the hovercar and pulled it quietly onto the street.

Do you think we'll be late for our appointment? asked Ms. Slowglow.

We might be, answered Mr. Slowglow. Why does it always take you so long to get ready?

You weren't ready either, replied Ms. Slowglow. This was her usual reply to a comment that she often heard from her husband whenever they were running a little late.

As their car merged onto the automatic highway, Mr. Slowglow punched in their intended location and let go of the steering wheel. Their car used its onboard mapping system to ensure that the Slowglows arrived at the exit for their destination by the fastest, most efficient route.

At least the traffic is light this morning, commented Mr. Slowglow as he sat back, stretched, and took a sip of his healthful, energy-packed, caffeine-free vita coffee.

In the back seat of the hovercar, little Nula amused herself with a rubber toss ring by throwing it to the floor and then waiting for her dutiful Mother to retrieve it.

Wing, Momma. Me dwopped wing, she said in her cute toddler voice.

Please stop that, said Ms. Slowglow as she handed the ring to Nula again. She had barely finished the sentence when little Nula once again dropped the ring.

Wing, Momma. Me dwopped wing, chirped Nula again.

When the Slowglows arrived at the doctor's office, they entered through its dark glass doors and walked up to a dour-looking man sitting at the reception desk near the end of the waiting area.

We're the Slowglows, said Ms. Slowglow as nicely as possible. We're here for our daughter's eighteenth -month medical examination.

Please have a seat, replied the receptionist curtly. The doctor's very busy. You'll have to wait.

But we have an appointment, objected Mr. Slowglow.

I'm afraid you'll still have to wait, replied the cranky receptionist.

Why does this always happen? complained Mr. Slowglow to his wife as they sat down. Why can't doctors make appointments that they can keep on time like everyone else in the world?

I don't know, said Ms. Slowglow. I guess some things never change. And to think that we were worried about being late.

If we had been late, he probably would have told us we missed our appointment, remarked Mr. Slowglow sarcastically.

Both parents turned to look at their tiny daughter sitting between them. Wing, Momma. Nula dwopped wing.

Oh, for the love of Elmer, exclaimed the exasperated father, will you please stop dwopping, I mean dropping your ring?

You heard your father, said Ms. Slowglow with a bit of sternness in her voice.

Nula decided that it was probably not a good idea to drop the ring again and replied, Okeydoke!

At last, it was the Slowglow's turn to see the doctor. The medical examination that little Nula was about to undergo was very important for the children. The tests conducted by the doctor would not only check the child's health but also the degree of her physical and mental development. These tests were the first in a series conducted over several years to see if the child was developing normally. But there was little cause for concern. In this world, almost all children were found to be developing normally. The science and medical professions had been able to genetically eliminate practically all of the problems that had affected children in earlier centuries. On rare occasions, however, there were still a few problems that somehow managed to evade their best efforts at eradication. Such problems were usually detected during these tests, and the child was then steered into special programs to correct them. Still, the tests were something that most parents deeply dreaded.

In this nearly-perfect world, there was nothing more upsetting, embarrassing, and inconvenient than having a child who was not normal.

Now what have we here? asked Dr. Boris as she placed little Nula on a table and began the examination. With an exacting gaze, she looked over the toddler and then called up her medical chart on her PocketEye. Eyeleen, Nula's medical chart please.

Her you are, Doctor, replied a soothing female voice from the PocketEye.

PocketEyes are round balls about the size of a human eye with a lens on one side and three small pop-out legs on the other. The user can give their PocketEye whatever name they choose. Dr. Boris called hers Eyeleen. When spoken to, they project an interactive, 3D holographic screen connected directly to the ElmerNet. They're used by just about everyone in Nula's world.

Well, everything seems quite normal so far, Dr. Boris finally informed the nervous parents.

The Slowglows looked at each other with a sigh of relief.

"Of course, there was that odd sound your child made at birth. I haven't brought it up