Oh Shit! I'm 70 and Still Smoking Hot

By Margareth Ralph

Maggie and Kevin have been married for decades and she is comfortable in her marriage and liefe. It is only when Kevin asks Maggie for a divorce that the green monster of jealousy sticks it's head out. She does decide to carry on after crying alone for days. Maggie decides to carry on though having been shattered to the core. The settlement money in the divorce does come in handy and Maggie keeps herself busy having a face lift and shops for a new wardrobe too. This is still not enough so she books a tour to Venice on her own, while dreaming of Gondola's beneath stars and handsom men that are too willing to entertain Maggie. Little does Maggie know that her ex husband and his younger wife are going to surpris her by having their honeymoon in Venice and staying in the same hotel as where Maggie will be staying. She, Maggie is furious that this can happen but Kevin and his young wife feel it will be a time to getting to know each other better.  Maggie hates bth Kevin and Chrystal for having done this to her marriage and now to her divorce. When Maggies luggage get's lost it is Kevin needing to look for it and conveniently for him he is too happy to assist Maggie into her new single life. Spending time with Kevin and Chrystal is toomuch for Maggie and she is ine need of a glass of wine to dim the pain and to keep herself calm. On her return home she meets Mike and He becomes a part of her and her dog Scampy's life. Mike and Maggie love the same things but Mike and Chrystal are about the same age and hit it off. Maggie get's driven to the brink wondering what Kevin and Crystal wanted with her, what favor could they have wanted to demand from her the newly single girl that has just picked up speed into her new life with no worries. It is Mike that points out that Kevin is still in love with Maggie. It is also Mike that Maggie chases from her life and vows to stay single. 

Hardly have the three, Maggie Kevin and Chrystal arrived back from honeymoon and the newly weds turn up at her home and that to request something of her that sends her overboard.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Margareth Ralph
• Release date: Dec 26, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223719762

Book preview

MARGARETH RALPH

Copyright © 2012 Margareth Ralph

All rights reserved.

ISBN:

ISBN-13

DEDICATION

Dedicated to all those who divorced and succeeded further.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Thanks for my wisdom, my Maker.

1 meeting miss big boobs

When going into the office one early morning, thinking I would surprise my husband, Kevin of many years, he, instead, surprised me. He introduced me to his new secretary, Miss Big Boobs. Like us woman do, we know our man, thus we know his boundaries. Instantly disturbed, I breathed. After mothering him, within the safe walls of Marital Bliss, for decades, I had forgotten to teach him, that it was not necessary to go mothering younger woman!

Earlier on this same day, while needing to play my part, that of being the Bosses wife, I, at Seventy something, sought out my sexiest outfit, from the back of the cupboard. I knew my husband, the boss that I was wanting to surprise, loved it. On looking in the mirror, dressed all business-like, I knew the sexy suit, even though now, my hair had grayed, would still do the trick to impress not only my hubby. Knowing also that my legs, my strong point, still does draw the attention of the opposite sex and I felt good. The many overtime nights that hubby had been working, suddenly made sense, while I was standing before Miss Big Boobs, with her blonde hair and big baby blues. On shaking her hand, I did crack some feeble joke and while Miss Boobs laughed, every piece of young flesh, from her cleavage, trembled. Oh my Gosh, what amazing frikkin boobs! I let out when flopping down into the safety of my car. And when Kevin asked this Seventy Four year older woman, weeks later for a divorce, I was speechless. He had before requesting the divorce, become a stranger to me, but with all the overtime, he was putting into our business, I did not mind then because I reminded as a joke. Do what you need to Honey, I’m your half partner! On seeing and meeting Delilah, a gnawing feeling started in my stomach, eventually turning every ulcer, into an enemy, that stood for Delilah, herself. In his new suit, shirt and tie, his handsome face, did not radiate the attraction, he once did for my sexy suit, Eighteen years ago. The new spring in his step, proved to me, that I had lost him. Trained him for many decades, and that for Miss Big Boobs, herself. That day, when driving home, I cried, I cried, for my sagging boobs and wrinkles, I cried mostly because I did not see this coming!"

After settling in the divorce courts, my new forced single life, began. A life, as a Seventy something year old woman, beginning a life on her own, with no children to comfort her. It’s not that yours truly was not well paid, by the ex, for the lifetime of nurturing, the training that I did, all for Miss Boobs. After slogging for the years in captivity, I received a very large sum of money and that is besides, the new car and our home.

After my psyche had fallen to ditch level, I lay, weak and spent, on the bed, on the sofa and even on the floor, crying for losing my husband, my youth and after seeing Delilah, I cried for my boobs, my wrinkles and my now nothingness. In sweats, I stayed, for weeks until the day arrived, that I, when anger stuck it’s head out, it was anger that steered me into determination mode, that would scare the devil. Appointment after appointment at the Surgeon, took me from sagging stomach, face and boobs, right into a refreshed version of me. On looking in the mirror, one early morning, I oozed. This divorce is the best thing that has happened to me. The degrading was not going to get me down and I held my head up high, when standing in the travel agency, I happened to catch my view in the mirror and was not even ashamed at allowing my hand to soothe over my hips, whispering. Tummy gone now, my shapely hips are truly something! Not having been alone for long in my young life I had taken on project Kevin. From the day of meeting Kevin, my life had been full, revolving mostly around him and organizing our lives. Thus in my home, everything carries a reminder of Zorro, I mean Kevin. On having made serious adjustments to my style and looks, I knew the house needed to wait till I got back from a romantic tour of Venice. Yes, you can help me, thank you! I oozed with sex appeal at Seventy something, to the assistant at the Tourist bureau. By hell or high water, I am going to be my best self, now that Kevin is not around! And I after the boob job, face lift and new wardrobe, booked a world tour on the best ship, suggested to me. And that just because I could afford it. And I was ready to let the good times roll. My home with King Kevin written everywhere, was not going to get me down. It’s like a Zorro movie. The Z, rules my home, Kevin put in the tiles, Kevin mowed the lawn, everywhere I turned there was the Z, a reminder to say, Zorro was here!"  

With plans of the overseas trip in the back of my mind, I felt secure that all that had happened, was for the better. Not for a moment, had I counted on Miss Firm Boobs and my ex, playing a role in my life any further, once divorced. It was while working peacefully in the garden one morning, when who should arrive uninvited might I add but the very unloyal ex and Miss Firm Boobs.

From standing on my knees in the garden to looking up, I saw the two towering before me, and I don’t mean her breasts. My ex and his new wife, stood tall over me. The gallant Mr unloyalty, put out his hand to help me up, into a standing position. In my mind, I reminded myself. Drat, why the hell, did I not take karate when I was younger. I could have karate chopped him now, allowing him to fall with his face into the ground! While still enjoying the vision, I found I had my face screwed up in anger or determination. But the vision suddenly reversed and I saw me putting my hand into his and him ripping me up and dislocating my arm and that, just so the Settlement monies can be used up fast. When the vision spoke and warned me. Careful now, he is probably going to make sure, it’ll be a fatal fall! I pushed his hand away, saying. Not to worry, I can do it! But I lost my balance and felt me heading with my face, for the bed. Kevin reached out and grabbed me, breaking my fall!

Miss Boobs that was being her most glamorous self, enthused. It’s really not easy being older, is it? She was probably in her Forties, but commented with a frown, at her brow. I did take notice that her eyes were not spitting fire, when her stolen from another woman’s husband, bent down to help me. For a moment too long, I found myself holding onto the hand of the man, that stabbed me in the back. Miss Boobs in turn, in her soft, almost husky voice, oozed. Old Age, I’ve heard them say, is not for Sissy’s! Her Thirty years older husband, turned to her fast, saying. Honey, look how amazing the garden looks and Maggie handles it, all by herself! My eyes were darting from the ex, to Missy but trying all the while, not to fix my eyes on her boobs, that moved majestically with her every, graceful move. At least mine are small and firm now! I whispered to myself but carried on to lie. "I would invite you two lovebirds in for