Off Beat: A Musical

By Cassandra Morphy

Celine Elliott wasn't your normal sixteen year old girl. Stuck in the foster system for her whole life, she had been bounced around for much of that time. She had long since learned not to get too attached to anyone, knowing that she would be moving on shortly. Most of her time she spent lost in the music, playing through her MP3 player, the only thing she had from her birth parents. That music helped her chase off the voices that had been plaguing her since she was nine. But the music transformed her life into something of a tragic musical, letting her hide from the world that had rejected her time and time again. But when she finds herself in a different world, one that seemed quite empty, she starts to open up to the idea of what the world back home had in store for her.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cassandra Morphy
• Release date: Jan 10, 2024
• ISBN: 9798215818466

Cassandra Morphy

Cassandra Morphy is a Business Data Analyst, working with numbers by day, but words by night. She grew up escaping the world, into the other realities of books, TV shows, and movies, and now she writes about those same worlds. Her only hope in life is to reach one person with her work, the way so many others had reached her. As a TV addict and avid movie goer, her entire life is just one big research project, focused on generating innovative ideas for worlds that don’t exist anywhere other than in her sick, twisted mind.

Book preview

Track One

ME!

Taylor Swift

I grumbled as the song started to play through the speakers on my MP3 player's cradle. The song was not one that I usually listened to. In fact, I often felt that Taylor was overrated, far too into her own crap, and should just go away already. However, there wasn't much that I could do about the song playing. The skip button had broken on the player long before I could remember. Even the stop and power buttons rarely worked, and I worried that the next time I got them to work would be the last time. I had set the sleep and alarm times on it ages ago, back when I could, and had kept my usual sleep schedule for those years. The best that I could manage was to plug in the headphones that were on my dresser right next to the cradle. It muted the song considerably, though it didn't go away completely. The music still rang out through the speakers there, bathing me in bubbly nonsense.

However, as soon as the headphones were in, the voices started up, filling in the space where the song had once been.

Ooh, the princess is awake, one of the voices said. And it's her birthday today. Happy birthday, Princess. Do you have any seeds? Need to find some seeds. Oh, I am so ready for this day. Are you ready for this day, Princess?

I no longer tried to identify the dozens of voices that came up over the course of my day, though this one always showed up in the morning. It was high pitched, though somehow still sounded male in a way. I called it the elf under my shelf, as it always sounded like it came from the shelf against the wall by the window.

Of course, I knew that this voice, like all of them, was coming from inside my own head. I'm not crazy... Well... I am crazy, but not that crazy. Besides, how would the elf under my shelf know that it was my birthday if it wasn't in my head?

I grumbled again as I reluctantly picked up the headphones, popping them onto my ears. My player was the only escape that I ever found from those voices that haunted my every waking minute, the music drowning them out. The player had been the only thing that I had from my birth parents, from when they left me on the doorstep of the firehouse when I was just a baby. No note. No name. No hint of where I was from. I tried not to let it get to me.

With that song still playing through the headphones, I was forced into that bubbly nonsense world as I got out of bed. The beat quickly got the better of me, despite my dislike of the song, and I ended up bopping along as I headed around the corner to the bathroom that I was forced to share with my foster brother. Fortunately, he was only eight, and I'd likely be out of there before it got weird.

It didn't take me long to get ready in the morning, something that I had picked up from some of my more crowded placements over the years. Part of it was my simple outfits, jeans, t-shirt, sneakers. But by the time I headed downstairs, the song had thankfully ended. Unfortunately, much like most of Taylor's songs, it had already gotten stuck in my head, slowly eating away at what little of my sanity was left to me. It felt like the song was on a constant repeat, or that my life had skipped ahead those ten minutes so that I was fully dressed, eating breakfast, while the song still played away. Was it on the second verse yet? Would the song finally stop playing in my head when I left for school, or would it linger there until I made it to my first class? My life wasn't a musical, though it sometimes felt like one. One of those dark, depressing musicals, rather than the bubbly ones that everyone loves. Les Mis or Rent, though without the death and AIDS.

When I came into the kitchen, Nicky and Laurie were already down there. Nicky was laughing at something that Laurie had done, though I missed whatever it was. Knowing Laurie, that was probably a good thing. I tried to ignore both of them as I grabbed the cereal box from between them, pouring out a large bowl of some generic brand junk. Unlike most of the stay at home moms out there, Laurie wasn't one that knew how to cook. She stuck with the premade and throw in the oven kind of meals. That suited me just fine.

Uh oh, Laurie signed to Nicky. Celine is grumpy. Laurie nodded over at me, smiling down to her son, who was laughing his full head off.

Celine is always grumpy, Nicky signed back, laughing even as he did so.

It was common for Laurie to sign about me in front of me like that. When my last placement fell through back in June, Laurie had picked me specifically because I could sign. Laurie didn't want Nicky's being deaf to be an impediment for us to bond as siblings. However, I doubted that would happen no matter how much she pushed it. It wasn't just the age difference; I knew that my time there was limited. Bonding took time that I just didn't have.

Since then, it's been like she had forgotten that I knew the language, or that she thought that I had lied about it to be picked. She never tried signing to me, and whenever they signed in front of me like that, neither seemed to think I could understand. I just ignored the both of them as I focused on my bowl, trying to eat up before heading out for school. While Laurie made it a point of driving Nicky to school herself, I was stuck heading in on the bus. Part of that was because Nicky's school was on the other side of town from my high school. Part of that was because it was far more embarrassing to pull up in front of the school with Laurie than with the bus.

A few seconds later, Laurie reached out her hand, placing it on my arm to grab my attention. When I looked up at her, I half expected her to sign to me whatever it was that she wanted to say. Instead, she pointed at her ears, signaling that I should remove my headphones. I rolled my eyes at her before pulling them off my left ear, the one closer to Laurie.

I just wanted to say happy birthday, Laurie said, shouting a little to be heard over the music still playing through the headphones. I know it can't be easy, what with still being new at school. Maybe we can do something special tonight?

Sure, I mumbled, my mouth still half full of the cereal. Internally, I was squirming away from the very thought of Laurie trying to do something special. Did that mean she'd be ordering a cake from the grocery store? It would certainly be better than her trying to make one.

You could invite some of the kids in your class. A party, if you'd like. I'm sure you've made tons of friends by now.

Ha, I laughed. I was well past trying to make friends. There or at any of my future placements. In the almost sixteen years that I had been in foster care, I had been moved around so often that I could never keep up with all the friends that I had managed to make along the way. I knew that Laurie would get sick of me soon enough, and I'd be moving on again. My money was on Christmas, though I didn't know anyone well enough to actually bet on it. Even my social worker was the fifth that I've had to deal with, the other four having quit on me ages ago. Well, two of them retired, but the other two definitely quit on me, passing me off to someone else.

Shame, Laurie said, giving me a grimace before turning back to Nicky. When nothing further came from Laurie, I tossed the rest of my cereal into my mouth before rushing off. I paused just long enough to place my bowl in the sink on the way out of the kitchen. My backpack and dance bag were in their usual spot by the door, and I scooped them both up as I passed them by, not even slowing down before heading out of the door.

There were plenty of other kids outside. It felt like there were more of them than there should have been, filling the street. They were all making their way down the road towards the bus stop in the distance. While most of them ignored me, all lost in their own little world, I imagined what it would be like if they were dancing along with the song stuck in my head. Not the one that was playing through my headphones, but the same bubbly nonsense that refused to let me be. With them dancing in unison, more as a flash mob than the regular walking down the open road that most of them were doing. The three that were walking next to me should have been doing cartwheels to the music. The five behind me should have been holding a banner wishing me a happy birthday. But as we walked along the road together, none of them looked in my direction. None of them noticed how I was seeing the world. None of them knew me besides as that weird new kid that started at their school just two weeks earlier.

None of them cared that it was my birthday, and neither did I.

When I arrived at the bus stop, the song on my player finally won out over Taylor, chasing off the nonsense that I had been hearing all morning. The usual ten kids fell into a cluster at the bus stop, no longer the thirty or so that it seemed they were on the road behind us. We all clustered there, staring down the road towards where the bus would come from. The volume seemed to dim on the player all on its own, allowing the conversations from the people around me to break through the music. But all I could hear from the people there was about some test in physics, or the new movie coming out that weekend. Nothing that drew me away from my own little world. Drew me away from my music.

For a moment, I thought about what Laurie had said. The thought of inviting some of those kids over for a party. I didn't know any of their names and had no intention of learning them. But these kids were at least in the neighborhood. I could invite a few of them over and pretend that we were friends. Have some little bit of normalcy in my otherwise abnormal life. Maybe even make friends, knowing full well that I'd lose touch with them the moment that I left the Daltons. But then the voices started to laugh at that thought, and I knew that these kids would laugh at it, too.

As the bus appeared around the corner, the volume on my player cranked back up again, louder than before. That didn't happen often, but there were times when my player seemed to have a life all its own. Not just in pulling music so far out of my comfort zone, but skipping ahead halfway through a song and such. It was like the buttons didn't just not work, but that they were haunted, firing off at random times.

I flinched away from my headphones, pulling them off before they could do permanent damage to my hearing. The last thing I needed was to become as deaf as Nicky was. That would not help me get a placement in the future. The music played loud enough for everyone there to hear it through the headphones, and many of the kids there glared over at me. They all knew that I was responsible. Fortunately, the sound dropped back down again a moment later, back to the normal volume it was usually at. But the damage was already done. Everyone was looking over at me. Everyone was suddenly talking about me, though not about it being my birthday or in any good way. About how much of a loser I was.

And with my headphones still off, the other voices came up from around me again, competing with the real voices of the other students. Those voices were talking about an adventure on the horizon. Whatever they were talking about, I hoped that they weren't talking about me. I just pulled my headphones back on, trying desperately to block them out once more, as the bus pulled up in front of us.

Track Two

D is for Dangerous

Allison Iraheta

I strutted my way into the school, easily catching the beat of the new song that started up as soon as the doors swung wide. A few laughs came from the people inside as they glared over at me, the so-called loser trying to make the best out of the misery that we all had to go through. The misery of high school. My eyes were locked on my locker in front of me, visible through the bucking crowd, just up the hallway. But there was a distraction just a few lockers over from mine.

His name was Gavin. Every high school that I've gone to had a Gavin, and I've gone to several in the two years that I had been going to high school. So far, he was the best Gavin that I met. I was sure that my next school would have a Gavin as well, but I found it hard to believe that he would be a better Gavin than this one.

Suddenly, it seemed like the song was about him and not me. I lost a step as that idea hit me, and I stepped off to the side of the flowing traffic that was heading through the hallway, landing closer to the lockers against the wall. Gavin wasn't looking at me, but I was trying not to make it obvious that I was looking at him. As the chorus rang out, I slipped forward, trying to stay out of his line of sight. Trying to not seem like the freak that I was. But the beat was impossible to escape, and my fingers ended up drumming on the lockers next to me as I slipped forward.

The kids around me seemed to have a beat all their own, flowing around through the hall as they went to their own lockers. A few dawdled in place, talking with each other. But that, too, seemed to have a pattern to it. A flow that matched the song playing through my headphones. I could almost see the pattern to it, the dance that none of them knew they were dancing. The flow that made dance my favorite class of the day.

That and the fact that it was the only class that I could get away with listening to music, rather than the teacher.

When I got to my locker, I pulled it open quickly, trying not to look at Gavin as I did. The satisfying clunk of the lock hit at just the right moment to be hidden by the beat. But then, I forgot that I was the only one listening to my music. That despite what it sometimes felt like in my head, no one else could hear the awesome beats. And yet, it seemed to perfectly accent the dance number that was just ending in my head.

Oh, hey, nerd, someone said. It took me a moment to realize that they were talking to me. That they had called me a nerd. There were several things that I was. More that I've claimed to be over the years. Nerd wasn't on either list. But, I guess nerd would have explained why I was such a freak. Why I was alone all the time. Why I had no friends. Do you mind? We're trying to have a band meeting here.

No, I don't mind, I said, remembering to keep my voice low, knowing that they would be able to hear it easily over my own music, as it wasn't loud enough for them to hear it anyway. Still, I stayed where I was, trying to ignore the three of them standing there. Trying to focus on my locker. On getting my books for the morning and getting away from them.

Not on looking at Gavin, just inches away from me.

Whatever, the boy said. I could hear the eye roll in his voice, but I didn't look at him. Or the other two standing next to him. Certainly not Gavin. Looking at Gavin would be dangerous when standing that close to him. I was certain to make a fool of myself. Still, as the song wrapped up and the music died off, I couldn't help but hear their conversation.

We're getting together after school, right? Gavin asked. Even I knew that the three of them gathered at Dylan's garage every day after school. And yet, Gavin clearly thought that they might change their plans at some point without them telling him. Part of what made Gavin so cool was that he didn't know how Gavin he really was. It was a common attribute among the Gavins out there.

Of course, said Travis, the boy that had spoken before. I have a new game I want to show you guys.

I mean for band practice, Gavin said, referring to Gunnery Crave, the band that the three of them had formed.

Yeah, that too, Travis said.

As the three of them continued to talk, I just stuffed my dance bag in my locker for later, slamming the door closed before spinning around in place. Travis was glaring over at me again. I just smiled at him as the next song swelled up, drowning out any complaints that he might have said. His mouth flew open as he continued to glare over at me, but whatever he said, I couldn't hear any of it. I just walked past the three of them, skirting as far away as I could from Gavin as I went.

But I could still smell him in the air around the group. The beautiful scent that was so totally Gavin.

Once I made it a block up the hallway, away from Gunnery Crave behind me, away from Gavin, I could think clearly again. But I was already getting glares from the vice principal from his usual place, leaning against the doorway to the admin office. Even in as little time as I had been at that school, he already knew me by name. Without needing to hear him, I knew that he'd be yelling at me for having my headphones on. As I came up next to the door to my homeroom, I flipped the headphones off, letting them hang around my neck.

Ms. Elliott, I hope I don't have to go over the rules yet again, Mr. Shah said.

No, Mr. Shah, I said. They're off.

They should be in your locker, he said, rolling his eyes. You know, I don't have nearly as much trouble with any of the other students at this school. And yet, you have a habit of making me feel like the reverend from Footloose.

From what? I asked, knowing that it would only aggravate him more. While Footloose wasn't a movie that I've seen, I at least knew what it was about.

Just put it away, Mr. Shah said. And I mean away, away. Not just around your neck.

Sure, Mr. Shah, I said, as I headed through the door to my homeroom, keeping my headphones exactly where they were.

There was no one in the classroom as I headed inside, which was the norm. Most people hung out in the hallway before class. I had no interest in interacting with the kids out there. Laurie's idea of inviting people over, of making friends, was completely pointless and not worth revisiting. Travis's words earlier seemed to confirm that no one would be interested in a last minute party. Not for me. Not my party. They would all know that no one else would be going to it.

Despite how empty the room was, or perhaps because of it, I could already hear the voices coming up again. Flies, one of them said. Why does it always have to be flies? Why can't they give me a few crickets or something?

Relax, another one said, clearly talking to the first. It could be worse. You know they're just going to cut us open at some point, right?

No, no, they wouldn't do that. Not to us. We're pets, right?

Tell that to the pets in the tank against the far wall.

Oh, give it up, I said to the voices, as I pulled my headphones back on, trying to drown them out. The song that was playing had started at some point while I was talking with Mr. Shah, as it was already half over. But it wasn't that great of a song anyway. Not that I could have restarted it if I wanted to. Much like the rest of the buttons, the back button had stopped working years ago. It had straight out broken off soon after that. The thing really was a mess, but I couldn't afford to replace it. Not without asking Laurie, which was so not happening. Even for a birthday present, that seemed beyond what I could hope for from any of these foster parents.

My usual seat was against the far wall, as far away from the teacher's desk as I could get. As I sat down, I tried not to look towards that tank that the voices had been talking about. Towards the tank of frogs that were on the table in the corner. Fortunately, I didn't take Biology, so I wouldn't be cutting those frogs open, which seemed to be what the voices were worried about. Of course, I knew my voices had nothing to worry about on that front, as they were only in my head. But the five frogs in the aquarium against the back wall of the room, just feet away from me, were still staring at that tank.

As I sat there, waiting for the day to start, I considered getting up and dancing through the empty room to the beat of the new song. But before I moved, three girls came in in a cluster. It was the three Ks, Keisha, Karen, and Kelly. They were in my dance class, and very annoying. They're only in the class because it helps them cheer or whatever. None of them are any good at dancing. Not that they seem to know that.

These three are far more common than the Gavins of the world, and always turn into the banes of my existence. Unfortunately, Keisha is Gavin's on again, off again. I try not to hold that against him.

Oh, look, Keisha said. It's the reject. She laughed a little, in that insipid way that most Keishas had about them, as if what she said was in any way a joke. Or funny. Or anything but her being a stuck up snob. Really, it was nothing new. Nothing I hadn't heard a million times. Nothing that I hadn't called myself often enough. It was better than nerd, anyway.

She waved her hand over her shoulder, shaking out her extremely expensive bracelet as she did so, clearly trying to draw attention to it. Fortunately, rather than laying into me, the other two started gushing about her bracelet, which seemed to be the intended effect. Although, I had no doubt that they would have made my morning more miserable than it already was if they hadn't.

Soon after the three of them started towards their seats, the students started to flow into the room. I could finally duck beneath their heads, hiding out in my little corner. Hiding out in the music that was my world. Hiding away from the people that could never understand me. Not that any of them bothered to try.

But even as the room filled up, the teacher coming in behind everyone else, I could feel Keisha's eyes on me, as if she knew something that I didn't. Or that she knew just how crazy I was and was only waiting for the best chance to use it against me. To ruin me in ways that I would never recover from, no matter how many times I changed schools. But then, that was just another reason why I didn't try to make friends. Why I didn't try to be anything other than what I was.

A reject. Not just from the students around me, but from my own birth family.

Track Three

Radioactive

Imagine Dragons

I managed to stay under the radar for the next couple of classes. Not bothering anyone and not being bugged by everyone else. Keeping to my back corner desks and mostly ignoring the teacher. With how often I've changed schools, I had long since figured out how to learn the material all on my own, with just the textbooks and some privacy. While the teachers driveled on about their lessons from section one, I was already on section four and five in all of my classes.

Unfortunately, that didn't play out all that well with physics. It had nothing to do with my ability to absorb the material; I knew it well enough. It was my second straight year in physics, too, as I had taken it at my last two schools. At this school, all sophomores take physics, so I was stuck in it.

Mr. Bird had a habit of insisting on class participation, making that my least favorite class. He'd call on students at random, even when they're off on their own, minding their own business, learning the material faster than he could teach it, even while listening to music.

You know, how I like to have my existence.

The song shifted as I came into the room. The track was one of my favorites, and it seemed appropriate given the class that I was in. Not just because it was physics, but because of the devastation that it caused on my psyche to need to pay attention to the teacher. As I slid into my usual seat, I flipped my headphones off halfway, my little sacrifice for that class. Fortunately, Mr. Bird didn't mind me listening to music that much, as long as I was on the same page as him and didn't disturb any of the other students.

Just as I flipped them off, Keisha's laugh came through to me, making my skin crawl and sending a shiver down my spine in a way that was so completely Keisha. None of the other Keishas that I had met over the years gave me that reaction, and I had no idea what it was about this Keisha that made her special in any way. Keishas weren't usually special outside of their own little worlds. I'd say that I had a similar problem, but I'm not special in my own world either.

I glanced over at the door, more to see which way Keisha was heading than anything else. Without knowing where she was, I couldn't avoid her if she was coming my way. But when I saw Gavin standing next to her, it was like a punch to my gut. From how she was draping herself all over him, I'd almost think that they were back on again. However, he didn't seem too pleased about the orientation, suggesting that they weren't back together. At least, not yet. The other Ks were over there as well, all three of them practically drooling over him. He quickly excused himself from the Ks, making his way to his usual seat.

His usual seat right next to mine.

As Gavin came closer, I diverted my eyes back to the desk in front of me. I pulled my player up onto the desk, holding it solidly in my hands as I tried to ignore Gavin coming over to me. Trying to pretend that I wasn't so interested in him. But I could still see him out of the corner of my eye as he smiled over at me.

Nice song, Gavin said, seemingly out of nowhere. At first, I thought for sure he wasn't talking to me. That he was hearing some other song that my own music was drowning out. But then he pointed towards me and my headphones.

What? I asked. I glanced over at him in confusion for a moment. But as I turned towards him, my headphones bumped against my neck, reminding me that I had already popped them half off. That Gavin, sitting so close to me, would have been able to hear the music just as easily as I was. Oh, uh... thanks... I said, not knowing what else to say. It sounded so stupid, though, and I could feel my face flushing at how lame I sounded, even to me.

Hey, nerd, Travis called out, as he and Dylan came over, joining Gavin. Saving me from my own lameness. From making more of a fool of myself in front of Gavin. The three of them surrounded me in the seats in that back corner. It was an unfortunate orientation for the group, but with the Ks on the far left side of the room, it could have been much worse.

Good morning, everyone, Mr. Bird called out as he started class. I hope we're all eager to do some learning today. It was how he always started class. I wasn't sure if it was lame or cool; it was one of those weird things that could just as easily be either. Or both. But my own reject status prevented me from being able to tell which it was on any given day. When Gavin smiled at it, though, I figured it was cool. At least, it was that day.

As the class started, I realized that there were no voices popping up. There was usually one or two during physics, coming from the window next to me. That was why I usually kept the left side of my headphones on. Even so, I would usually hear them through my right ear. With nothing coming up from around me, I reluctantly pulled my headphones off the rest of the way.

Today, we're starting a new unit, Mr. Bird said. He walked out in front of the classroom, holding a red, rubber ball in his hands. Gravity, he said, simply, as he let go of the ball, letting it fall to the floor next to him. The ping it let off seemed to hit right at the moment that the song still playing through my headphones came to the final chorus, repeating till the fade. As the ball came back up to his hand, Mr. Bird easily caught it. It's what keeps us down here on Earth, with everyone else. It's what we fight against every day of our lives, despite it keeping us healthy and warm and breathing. And it's what everyone here is going to be working to counter next week.

I looked around the room, trying to see if anyone there knew what he was talking about. If anyone knew what was to come that next week. There were a few of the kids near the front of the class, the real nerds, that were smiling around at each other. They seemed excited about whatever it was. Clearly, this was a unit that they had heard of already. Mr. Bird turned back