Walking the Straight and Narrow: Billy: A Gay Love Story, #7

By Tmothy Lee

Billy Butler is in a royal funk. Again losing at love he decides to call it quits on relationships. In order to fill in the empty spaces created by having nobody in his personal life he joins a motorcycle club, The Bunny Hill Riders; a straight-laced group of men whose initiation is a bit unorthodox. Predictably, now having decided to walk a straight line without deviation or temptation Billy discovers guys flocking around him in unreasonable numbers. Worse yet is the appearance of his old babysitter who wants to babysit him again, although in an altogether different manner than when he was young. His sister, Mirna, tries to hold the family together along with Lyle and the rest of the gang. And then there's Levi. OH!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tmothy Lee
• Release date: Nov 30, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223803270

Book preview

Walking the Straight and Narrow

Billy: A Gay Love Story

Timothy Lee

Walking the Straight and Narrow

Copyright 2012

Timothy Lee

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

About the Author

Chapter 1

Peace and serenity. Peace and serenity. It was a very simple concept. All Billy Butler had to do was to sit on the soft grass beneath the stars that bathed the nighttime sky above the massive Firefly Park and chant his mantra over and over: peace and serenity. All was quiet, not a lot of traffic in the surrounding streets of the city, no jets flying overhead, foot traffic on the distant sidewalk almost nonexistent; it was all perfect. Even the temperature was deliciously cool following a warmer-than-usual day that had earlier seen Billy laying cuddled beneath the blankets of his bed in his air-conditioned home.

Fact was that this was the first time in two days that Billy had actually been outside, an unusual practice for the normally outgoing twenty-six year old man. Ordinarily, he would have been out taking care of his yard or harassing his sister, Mirna Chen, on the phone or shopping for some new jeans. The past few days, however, found Billy in a state of mental disrepair. In fact, pretty much the entirety of the last year had been one of disappointment for the man who had lost the love of his life to a gun-wielding psychopath, but lately the spiraling downfall of Billy's thoughts and emotions had begun to feel unmanageable. His mind had been traveling down paths of desolation, anxiety and a whole mess-o-stress.

The grass tickling his bare feet felt good, almost comforting. Offering even more comfort were the lights on the distant shore, their reflections shimmering over the glassy surface of the lagoon in a rather hypnotic way. Everything was perfect, and yet, in spite of all that was right with the evening a whole lot was wrong with his life right now and that seemed to take precedence, thus disallowing Billy that slice of peace that eluded him.

Seeing as how the past few days had been the worst he had experienced over the previous year Billy assumed that, were his sentient state to worsen much more, he would become a prime candidate for an antidepressant. The emotional tsunami that had been eating away at his psyche as of late was nothing less than devastating, leaving him feeling vacant and abandoned, not unlike an old achromatic weather-beaten shack standing in the middle of a moon-bleached desert, forgotten and left to perish by the elements.

Billy's life had been good and bad, experiencing the usual and expected twists and turns that life had to offer. He had found love, happiness, wealth; all the fortunes desired by a normal person. He knew what it felt like to lay beside another man and feel his warmth in a cool bed. He knew the luxury of two strong arms holding him tightly and the pleasure of a passionate kiss. He knew the ecstasy of making love and had lain in his man's arms, luxuriating in the afterglow until drifting off to sleep and the marvelous dreams that had been the result. He knew it all, and yet Billy was now so miserable that he had more than once contemplated buying a box of rat poison and slipping himself a Mickey just to rid himself of the ghosts now haunting him.

Today was the one year anniversary of Abraham Adoni's murder, a day that Billy had for days wanted not to face and it had been an extremely difficult day, indeed. Getting out of bed seemed to rob him of all remaining energy, the shower was not as fulfilling and energizing as usual and the empty house felt larger and lonelier than normal. This and more was the genesis of his depression but he was helpless to do anything about it.

Abraham was gone, taking with him Billy's heart and reason for living. He missed the man more than he would miss the passing of his own life; that had been the depth of his love for this gentle and great man with whom he had spent many years, the majority of that time in a delicious state of bliss. It had only been the last year or so of their relationship that things had taken a turn for the worse, and yet even in the bad times Billy had not lost his love for Abraham. Abe. His lover, companion and reason for living.

Billy refused to relive that horrible night yet again, seeing as how he had spent the last couple of days locked in the misery of his having learned of the shooting a year ago. The devastating news had come from his police friend, Lyle Bogart, who had taken it upon himself to deliver the heart-wrenching message himself rather than relegate such an awful task to a complete stranger. Even so, that did not take away from the tragedy, the sting of agony or the burn inside Billy's heart over the loss. Abraham being stricken down by his new lover was bad enough but this tragedy was made even worse by the fact that only a day before, Abraham had written to Billy a letter of beauty, so filled with love and sorrow over his and Billy's breakup.

But, no, Billy had suffered enough at the throes of this tragedy. Now, more than ever, he needed peace and serenity and that was why he now sat in one of the lesser-lit areas of the Lagoon (Firefly Park's more affectionate name) laboring under the assumption that the fresh air might wash away the damning thoughts, not to mention the heavy-handed feelings of regret over the loss.

That deficit was not the only ghost haunting him right now, though, although it certainly stood in the foreground. The betrayal of his last partner, Paul Winfield, who left Billy stranded in Seattle without money or shelter weighed heavy on his mind still. So, too, was the loss of Timmy Wescoff who only wanted sex with Billy. While the sex was sensational, Billy wanted more and it was this incongruity that tore the two apart. Billy wanted one man; Timmy wanted variety.

Admittedly, there were times when Billy had thought himself capable of throwing caution to the wind and launching his rockets on a whirlwind tour of sexing-up the male population at large; live life in the fast lane. That being said, he was soon to admit to himself that this particularly hazardous lifestyle was just not his bread and butter. Billy needed stability; a concept that had become elusive as of late.

He raised his eyes to the dark sky; the feeling of inadequacy and isolation being multiplied by the myriad stars overhead. Billy was merely an insignificant grain of sand laying at the bottom of the ocean and about now he was feeling every ounce of this insignificance. He was alone, and after having been this way for over ten months it had finally culminated to this moment, and it was an awful feeling.

Billy wanted to die. Maybe, if he was truly lucky and worthy he would again meet up with Abraham in the afterlife and be happy once again. Then again, perhaps he was not worthy of such happiness. After all, despite Abraham having found another lover it was Billy who left their home, but what choice did he actually have? Finding Abraham in bed with another man (ironically, Abraham's future killer) certainly would have provided the impetus to send anybody peddling their wares somewhere else and that was what Billy did, though now regretting it with all his heart.

He took a deep, cleansing breath and slowly let it out. If this was what life was all about, if all his energy had been poured into life only to end up alone and depressed then he really no longer wanted to play a part in it. A tear trickled down one cheek and then the other, Billy made no effort to wipe them off. Nobody was around to see him in this state, anyway, so why bother?

Try as he might he could not get the fortunes in his life to outweigh the failures. Sure, he had a nice home, courtesy of Abraham. He also had more money than he knew what do with, again courtesy of Abraham. Yet, what was the good of a home and money if he had nobody with which to share it? Billy was a people person and he had an inner need to be with somebody, to devote his love and life to that somebody till death do them part.

More tears followed those preceding them and Billy closed his sore, tired eyes and allowed himself the pleasure of a good, strong cry. Nobody cared. Nobody wanted him. Nobody. Pictures of his past played through his mind like an old scratched and spliced filmstrip, the tragedies of his visit on this planet upon the screen for his audience only. Failure after failure whipped before his mind's eye at rapid speed, making way for the stockpile of others to present themselves in a timely manner.

In his tortured mind he reached out for somebody, anybody who would care enough to reach back, only there were no comers. Even in Billy's mind he could not conjure up a sympathetic shoulder to cry on, proving that he was in pretty bad shape. Everything around him had changed and that caused everything within him to follow suit. He did recognize the fact that he was slipping farther and farther away but he felt powerless to do anything about it.

Hearing soft voices in the distance, Billy opened his eyes to find two young men strolling along the wide winding cement path beside the water, their long shadows shortening as they passed beneath the overhead vapor lamps. The couple walked hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder, and by their soft laughs and talk it was obvious that they were very much in love. This sight hit Billy like an arrow through his heart. He once had that. He had experienced the pinnacle of love only to have it slip right through his fingers.

Now he had nothing.

He watched the two men pass while his depression deepened. Even after they had faded into the darkened distance Billy continued to lament over their happiness and his losses. It was a singularly awful sensation, one that he wished with all his might would end; and do so soon.

Billy had been alone before, many times, and had not fallen into such a deep funk so it had to be the anniversary of Abraham's death that was throwing him into the depths of hell. Or was it? He had all year to pine over the loss and had not dropped this deeply into the well so perhaps other dark forces were at work. Timmy's loss was weighing heavily on his mind, especially when he had fallen so head-over-heels with the man. Again, Billy had eight months to heal from that cut.

Maybe his planets were not aligned properly. Maybe evil spirits had found him an easy target and were picking on him. Maybe the chemicals in his drinking water were scrambling his brain. Maybe he was getting up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe, maybe, maybe...

The couple were long gone now, leaving the area devoid of human habitation, save for himself, and this allowed Billy time to reflect on his life. True, there had been good times, but once again the bad seemed to steamroller over the good, crushing and burying it. If only he could climb out of this mental void he might be able to find a new and promising direction for his life.

Billy desired a relationship more than anything but perhaps it was time to focus on himself rather than depending on others to complete him. Maybe Timmy was right in flying from one bed to another, but was sex really the answer? Billy could have sex with himself whenever he wanted so seeking out partners for that sole purpose seemed an unessential goal. Especially in light of the fact that Billy was a one-guy type of man.

He stared out over the smooth dark water and took a deep breath. Since peace and serenity would not come to him he reasoned that perhaps it was time he sought it out himself. Standing, Billy slowly made his way across the soft grass, tears again flowing down his cheeks. Ironically, he now realized that the tranquility that he craved had been right in front of him the whole time, he had just been too blind to see it.

The cement walkway continued to hold heat from the day, warming Billy's feet as he passed over it and he reckoned that this would be the last heat that he would ever feel. From here on out it was going to get colder and that was one thing that Billy really did not like. However, like it or not, this was the path that he had chosen so he would have to accept it without argument.

Stepping into the shallow water he was surprised to note that it was actually a lot warmer than he thought it would be. Perhaps the water temperature would change the deeper he got but for now it felt pretty nice. Billy stood still, gazing out over the Firefly Park lagoon, the distant lights seeming almost as if to beckon him forward, urging him to take that next step to oblivion. All his sorrows, memories, and pain would end shortly and in a small way it seemed almost comforting to know this. No more crying. No more loss. No more hurt. No more life.

He found that the first step actually was the hardest. After that it became easier and easier as he slowly worked his way forward, step by step, feeling the soft surface beneath the water on his bare feet. As suspected, the temperature did change as it slowly worked its way up to his navel, cooling as he had expected, although not dramatically. It was still quite pleasant.

Out farther Billy began to consider his sister and the grief he would be putting her through. She would eventually get over the loss, he thought, and then go on with her life. Their father, Mel, would also become an unwilling victim to this act of desperation, and yet he, too, would recover in time. But this was not about them, this was about Billy. He wanted the pain to stop. Now.

With his chest now submerged, half of his mind urged him on while the other half cried out for him to turn back and head for the safety of dry land. These conflicting thoughts confused him so Billy stopped to consider what he was doing, his tear-drenched face being cooled by the breeze that wafted lazily across the water. The next few steps would do the trick. It was easy. Go under and stay under. He would experience a brief panic as his lungs filled up with water but then Billy would have finally found the peace that he was so desiring.

Another step on the rapidly declining slope brought the water up to his chin. This was it. The moment of truth. One more step and he would be completely submerged. At that moment something pretty surprising happened to Billy. All at once the tears stopped, his mind cleared and the pain went away. All of it. It was amazing, and yet somehow expected. He felt as if his life, his hopes and dreams, his reason for being had been directed to this moment all along. Nothing of the past mattered now. The zenith would finally be achieved.

Taking a deep breath, his last, he ventured forward, the final two steps and found them to be quite easy, and as the water filled his ears Billy heard nothing. He was now in another world where nothing and nobody could ever hurt him again. A calm overtook him and he felt a smile cross his lips as he opened his eyes to the blackness around him.

He slowly released the air in his lungs, knowing that this would be his last breath. Through his mind now flowed his life, although now he was able to remember the good that had been missing. Memories of the fun times he had had with Mirna, of being in Abraham's arms, of the laughter and joy. This, he thought as the last bit of air left his lungs, was to be expected. It was his conscience in a last bid attempt to bring him to his senses and get him back to shore, but that was not going to happen.

With his mind now racing faster than ever before, Billy was consumed with a state of confusion. Was this what he really wanted? Did he really want to hurt Mirna and their father this much? Furthermore, were things really so bad that he needed to cash in his chips at such a young age, or was there maybe another, saner, less violent way of stopping the pain that had driven him to this? Billy was young. He had his whole life ahead of him. Opportunities that lay on the road ahead would never be explored further if he stayed on his current path of self-destruction. A new love, new hope, a resolution, fortuity, countless laughs; all of it dependent on his not carrying through with this.

His lungs convulsed, craving oxygen, and as the first of the water entered his throat Billy panicked, realizing that, no, this was not the answer. But had he already crossed the line, too late recognizing the finality of his act? Panic expanded quickly and he turned back, the blackness of the water enveloping him, blinding him and seeming to be holding him to his previously intended purpose.

Billy thrashed his arms about and struggled to the surface as more water was drawn down his throat by his lungs. He could feel the cool air wash over his head and face as he broke the surface and this offered him a quick morsel of hope, although with his airway still constricted, his throat disallowed him the ability to draw the air that would keep him alive.

Convinced that this mistake would now result in an unwanted demise, Billy's mind again reeled with images of what was and what might never become. His future was here but it would never continue. Hysteria took over at this point and the resulting mania was nothing short of a four-alarm fire. His lungs ached, as did his entire body from the tension of his muscles while he whipped about frantically in the water.

Billy began coughing violently, this action causing his arms to still long enough for his head to dip beneath the water's surface. Again he drew in water and this resulted in a lightheaded sensation. He once more fought his way to the surface and spat out a mouthful of water, this allowing him to draw in his first short breath of air. It was the most beautiful thing that had ever happened to him and although the coughing continued, Billy was finally filling his lungs with cool, fresh oxygen.

Amidst the convulsions of his body frantically expelling water, Billy managed to struggle toward the shore with his arms propelling him forward until his feet finally met with the ground. Drawing yet another short breath gave him reason to believe that maybe he had averted this error in the nick of time. More water flew out of his mouth with a short cough, the resulting intake of oxygen tasting of life.

His throat was now sore as hell as he continued coughing, his body struggling to rid him of that which had attempted to deny him life by his own hand. Billy was going to live and amidst his elation he vowed never again to try anything so stupid. His brush with death was enough to make him realize that, regardless of how bad things looked, they were not bad enough that he needed to end his life.

His mind cleared of the fuzziness within as Billy wended his way to the shoreline, the water level lowering itself upon his body as he rose higher and this resulted in a cooling sensation upon his wet skin in the night air. The lights along the winding cement path before him seemed extra brilliant and inviting, the grass a lush dark green that beckoned him forward and the air was peaceful and calm; this broken only by his continual coughing.

Once safely on shore, Billy collapsed on the lawn. He buried his face in the grass to experience its soft embrace, inhaling the sweet incense it offered. Moments later, he rolled over onto his back and stared up at the stars. Yes, the universe, the world and all its inhabitants would go on without him, but not today.

Billy rose around eleven o'clock the following morning to the sound of a lawnmower somewhere near. His body still ached and his throat was sore, and yet he had never felt better in his entire life. He did admit to himself his embarrassment over the previous night's attempt on his life but he also allowed himself due credit for making it back to shore safely. Billy was proud of his accomplishment.

Once showered and dressed, he felt the overwhelming compulsion to visit with his sister as he made his way downstairs to the kitchen. He knew now how precious life was and he needed to spend as much of it with his loved ones as possible. No, he would not tell her of his indiscretion for she would first go into shock, then tears, and finally lecture-mode. Billy feared lecture-mode above all else.

Digging the cell phone from his shorts pocket, he touched a few icons. Strangely, he heard the ringing in his ear mirroring that of a ringing from somewhere within the house and he wrinkled his brow over the incongruity. Had he accidentally dialed his home phone number? Ending the call, he tried again with the same result, only this time the ringing was louder.

The truth was revealed moments later when his sister rounded the corner into the kitchen, her phone in her hand and a devilish smile upon her face. You rang? Mirna asked.

Billy quickly ended the call, placed the phone on the kitchen counter and embraced the woman four years his senior in a giant hug. The feel of her warm body against his own was exquisite and he relished this as he had nothing before. Mirna was his only sibling and he cherished her, realizing now how he had previously taken her for granted. That would never happen again.

You want we should get a room, or something? she asked, releasing her own hold on him.

Billy stood back and stared at her, saying nothing but feeling his lips stretching to capacity.

Okay, what'd you break? You scratch the car or something? Turned Wei to the dark side? You got a body stashed in a closet somewhere? You look like the cat that ate the canary, Billy, she accused. What the hell are you grinning about?

I'm just happy to see you, that's all, he said, meaning every word.

You saw me last Sunday when we had dinner with dad, Mirna reminded.

I know, but... well, I love you, Mirna, Billy admitted.

Okay, now I know you have Wei up in your bed, she said, turning toward the hallway.

Billy took her shoulder and turned her back. You will be happy to know that your husband is still heterosexual.

Oh? she said with one eyebrow raised. Tested this theory, did you?

Mirna, be serious, Billy implored. Can't a brother be happy to see his sister without being accused of turning her husband gay?

She studied him for a moment, her index finger tapping against her chin. You coming down with a cold or something?

Billy shook his head. No. Why?

You sound a little hoarse.

All at once reminded of, and embarrassed for, his experience last night Billy felt himself blush while hoping this was not evident. No, I swallowed some water the wrong way and had a coughing fit, he explained truthfully, though purposely leaving out the specifics.

"Oh. Well, anyway, the reason I'm here... thank you for asking, by the way... is because I want you to meet somebody from work."

Billy wrinkled his nose, recalling the last time his sister had tried to set him up. The co-worker, Rich, was in the questioning phase of his sexuality; preferring to have a man who was more effeminate than manly. Rich was seeking the closest facsimile to a chick that was possible without actually spreading his legs to reveal a vagina. Being manly, both in what he sported between his legs and in his mannerisms, Billy was anything but what Rich wanted and thus the date went abominably, lasting all the way through hors d'oeuvres before falling apart.

Oh, come on, Billy, Mirna whined to his non-verbal response. Give it another chance. I know the last setup didn't work out but what are the odds of me fucking up twice in a row? Eldred is a nice...

Eldred? Billy asked, interrupting without forethought. That's a name?

Hey, Eldred is a nice name and he's a nice guy. I know that you've been going through a dry spell lately and I want to help. Ever since you and Timmy broke up you've been really in the dumps so it's time to pick yourself up off the ground and get right back on that horse. Life is too short to spend it alone. You got some coffee around this dump? she asked before pulling the plastic chamber from the coffee bean grinder to inspect its contents.

Billy leaned against his kitchen counter and watched his sister help herself. I don't know, Mirna. Somehow, I just can't see myself dating an Eldred.

Satisfied with the chamber's contents she grabbed a paper filter while simultaneously casting her brother a quick glare. Give him a chance, Billy. He's a nice guy, she proclaimed before placing the filter in the basket of the drip coffee maker and positioning it into place with two fingers. Whatever happened to 'one size fits all'? Why do these things all crinkle up around the edges and fold in on themselves when they're brewing? The very last thing I want is to be drinking coffee grounds... and before you say anything about me being grainy... she began to say before all at once stilling her thought and movements.

Billy watched with some curiosity as his sister, with her fingers still inside the coffee basket, stood motionless in thought for a couple more seconds before turning to him with a frown. This frown could only mean that she was going to press the issue of his being too judgmental over Eldred because of his name. Immediately he expected to be lectured on what a fine specimen of a human being her co-worker was and how he was always so clean and meticulously groomed and well-endowed.

Wait a minute, she began with lowered eyelids, her gaze being centered directly upon his. Exactly what's going on here?

Billy hesitated a moment. His jubilation over seeing his sister was now being seriously hampered by his assumption that she was about to insist that he and Eldred rush off and get married. It's just that every time you set me up with somebody, it always... he began, his explanation being cut off before being heard.

I'm not talking about Eldred. I'm talking about how you were so eager to see me this morning. Nobody is that happy to see their siblings this early in the morning, she said, her frown of suspicion deepening. Especially before having several cups of high-octane coffee. What'd you do?

About what? he asked, hearing a slight tremor in his voice.

Leaning her back to the counter Mirna folded her arms over her light-blue blouse. If I didn't know any better... she began, her suspicion falling to a silent invasive stare.

While Mirna did not possess the power to read minds, she most certainly did have the ability to worm deeply-buried secrets out of her brother and the very last thing Billy wanted wormed out of his head was last night's indiscretion. Were word of his suicide attempt to reach her ears Mirna would no doubt shackle him in a corner of her apartment and keep him under twenty-four-hour surveillance, with or without Eldred! Billy felt himself squirming beneath her continual scrutiny, his breathing becoming shallow as he frantically searched his mind for a believable story to relay as to his good mood.

Shortly, a smile began to trail across her tips. She nodded. Ah, I see. So, what's his name?

Dumbfounded, Billy asked, Whose name?

The guy you laid last night? Anybody I know? What'd he look like? You two talking about marriage yet?

Realizing that he was off the hook, Billy let out a large breath of relief. No, I didn't get laid, he replied, too quickly to take it back before realizing that this was the custom-made excuse for which he had been searching. Now he had to think of another one, damn it, and do so quickly!

All right, all right, she said, her smile again turning to one of a suspicious and knowing nature. Keep it a secret. What, he got three ears or something?

Mirna, I swear, there wasn't anybody... he began, cutting his own words short when realizing that this was his second attempt at sabotaging his 'out'.

Too small? she guessed, holding her thumb and forefinger about an inch apart from one another.

Billy laughed. Of course not, he said with a laugh.

Too big?

Mirna, it's not what you think, he said, now realizing too late his third bounce off the board of stupidity into the pool of truth where his sister circled; her dorsal fin cutting through the water like a knife.

"Well, I know it wasn't a woman," she said, raising her eyebrows condescendingly.

Having used up all his trump cards, Billy decided that maybe it was time to switch gears before his sister's inquisition took on a less-than jovial tone. I just woke up in a good mood this morning, that's all.

Her eyebrows lowered again, this time even more than Billy thought physically possible. You'd tell me if you were on meth or coke or Ecstasy, right?

Billy chuckled. No, I'm not on meth or coke or Ecstasy.

Amphetamines? she asked.

Of course not, he defended honestly.

Heroin? Mirna asked.

You left out LSD, he said with a chuckle.

Her eyes widened dramatically. Billy, if I ever catch you taking LSD I will personally... she began before being interrupted.

Mirna, for crying out loud, calm down. I'm not taking drugs, he said, amused at his sister's outlandish accusations. I told you, I just feel good this morning, that's all.

She scrutinized him in silence a few moments. Well, I'm glad to hear that. I was beginning to worry about you, she said, turning and scooping coffee from the grinder canister into the filter. As down-in-the-dumps as you've been lately I was wondering if I was going to have to put you under suicide watch.

Had these words not been spoken so flippantly Billy might have suspected Mirna of attempting to pry some hidden information from him. Seeing as how she had not been facing him at the time, though, he felt that he was in the clear. At least, that was how he felt until she all at once stopped scooping coffee into the filter and turned back, her eyes now narrowed in suspicion. Billy's fears again rose to the surface.

You're not on pot, are you?

What the fuck would you care if I was on pot or not? You smoke it, yourself, he declared in disbelief.

Mirna broke a smile. I was going to scold you for not sharing it with me if you were.

You can rest assured that I am not on any drugs, including pot.

Know where I can get some? she asked.

Billy laughed. Until it’s legalized that would be no.

She considered this a moment before resuming her scooping. Once finished, she returned the canister to the coffee bean grinder and then again turned to her brother. Her eyes narrowed. Wait just a moment, she said, her words slow. Please tell me you didn't.

She knew! Mirna knew and Billy was now going to have to suffer the consequences and quite possibly be admitted into a psychiatric hospital for the remainder of his days. His instinct was to deny it although to do so would only make matters worse. No, he determined, either it was better to keep quiet and let her continue to guess without actual confirmation or admit to his mistake and let the cards fall where they might.

Billy, please tell me that you didn't have unsafe sex. If you get sick I will personally pulverize you!

He chuckled nervously. No, of course not. I told you; I didn't sleep with anybody. Timmy was the last guy I was with and that was a good eight months ago, he said, somewhat annoyed that he felt the need to explain his sex life with his sister.

Have you been tested lately? she next asked in her obvious search for something to lecture him about.

I was tested last month and I'm fine.

She glared at him briefly before turning back to finish making the coffee. Well, that's a relief. Both dad and I worry about you, you know. Removing the glass decanter from the coffee maker, she began filling it beneath the faucet.

What about Wei? Billy asked, jokingly. Does he worry about me, too?

He trusts you completely. He once told me that he would have no qualms about having unsafe sex with you.

I'm flattered, Billy said with a chuckle.

Don't be. The man would have unsafe sex with a porcupine if he thought it would get him off.

Billy considered making some snide remark about his sister being said porcupine but decided it in his best interest not to press his luck. He had managed to step down from the witness chair so it was better to leave well enough alone.

Okay, she said, filling the coffee maker with water. Flipping the lid closed, she returned the canister to the heating plate and pressed the power button. You got any donuts in this joint? I haven't had my sugar fix yet today.

Billy admitted his failure to have bought out a bakery in anticipation of her visit and settled himself in at the kitchen table.

No donuts... What kind of a four-star restaurant is this, anyway? So, what’d you do yesterday? she asked, taking a chair across from him.

Not much. I hung out at the lagoon for a while, he said. Yesterday was the one year anniversary of Abe’s murder, he reminded his sister.

Shit. Has it been a whole year? Wow. How’d you hold up?

Let’s just say that it was a very bad day and leave it at that, Billy implored.

Yeah, okay, Mirna said with a sigh. You should have called me. Had I known I would have come over and kept you company.

Thanks, but I think I was better off being alone, he said. I had a lot to think about.

I bet you did. So what’d you do at the Lagoon?

Once again fearing her trying to drag out a confession of something about which she was spookily already aware, Billy once again briefly considered just spilling the truth. That would certainly clear his conscience of all guilt but it would also arm her with enough ammunition to lord over him for years. Oh, just sat on the grass and watched people and the stars, he told her. What'd you do yesterday? he asked in what he thought to be a pretty obvious attempt to change the subject.

Oh, nothing much. The usual: handcuffed Wei, dragged him down to the basement and tortured the living shit out of him. Did you know that if you pull hard enough on a man's tongue his penis pulls inside his body?

No, I was not aware of that little tidbit, Billy said, visualizing this and shuddering despite it having been a joke.

Mirna nodded, casting a glance to the coffee maker behind Billy. Yeah, well, there you have it.

Not sure what I'm gonna do with it, but thanks, Billy said with a shake of his head.

Oh, come on, Billy. You can't tell me that you and your partners didn't get a little rowdy.

Not like that, he admitted. And neither have you.

"Well, I will be getting violent if that damned coffee maker