Keeping the Joy: Giving up is not an option, let’s dance in the rain.

By Laetitia Rae

“Keeping the Joy,” is the inspirational true story of Laetitia Kae’s life—a testament to God’s unwavering love, even in our darkest moments. This captivating autobiography takes you on a profound journey, starting from Laetitia’s humble beginnings in a small South African town to her pursuit of dreams in the vibrant city of Pretoria. As you turn the pages, you’ll walk beside Laetitia through the trials and tribulations that led her to question her worthiness in God’s eyes. Through tragedy, pain, and difficult choices, she grappled with feelings of being ‘lost,’ ‘unseen by God,’ and ‘unusable.’ Yet, against all odds, she discovered that God’s love was ever-present, guiding her towards restoration and protecting her joy.

“Keeping the Joy” is more than just a memoir—it’s a spiritual toolkit and a compassionate guide, like a big sister you can carry in your pocket. Laetitia’s narrative is accompanied by personally written worship songs and heartfelt prayers, encouraging you to draw closer to the same God who sustained her through life’s challenges.

This book is a must-read for teens, young adults, church leaders, and mentors seeking to channel God’s boundless, nurturing love for all of us. It empowers us to ‘see what He sees’ and find the courage to start anew, no matter how daunting the circumstances.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Nov 14, 2023
• ISBN: 9798385002153

Laetitia Rae

Laetitia Kae, a devoted wife, mother, and creative intellect, also serves as the owner of a Brand Engineering and Design consultancy. Her life’s purpose, as expressed through this book and her music, is to spread joy, hope, and the love of Jesus—particularly to young people and those facing daunting life transitions, offering them the assurance of God’s voice and presence. As a worship leader and songwriter, Laetitia draws from her faith journey and personal experiences to inspire others. She is also an advocate for Preventative Cancer surgeries, driven by her own discovery as a carrier of the BRCA gene after losing both her parents to cancer. Through her work, she seeks to bring hope to those impacted by cancer, emphasizing the importance of prevention. Join Laetitia Kae on her quest to share the transformative power of faith and discover how, even in the face of adversity, we can ‘Keep the Joy’ alive in our lives.

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Copyright © 2023 Laetitia Kae.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0216-0 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0215-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023916595

WestBow Press rev. date: 11/9/2023

Scriptures marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV)®, Text Edition: 2016, Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission.

Scriptures marked HCSB are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB), Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers, Nashville Tennessee. All rights reserved.

Scriptures marked KJV are taken from the KING JAMES VERSION (KJV), public domain.

Scriptures marked NABRE are taken from the New American Bible, revised edition (NABRE), © 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Inc., Washington, DC. All Rights Reserved.

Scriptures marked NASB1995 are taken from the New American Standard Bible 1995® (NASB1995), Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved.

Scriptures marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®, Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.®. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scriptures marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version (NKJV)®, Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scriptures marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation (NLT), Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scriptures marked YLT are taken from Young’s Literal Translation (YLT), public domain.

Front cover image by Carien Moller

Book design by Laetitia Kae

Language editing by Edita Services (Pty) Ltd

CONTENTS

1JUST A SMALL-TOWN GIRL

2THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME ON EARTH

3THERE’S FREEDOM IN FORGIVENESS

4WINNING OVER DARKNESS

5I’LL WEAR MY WORSHIP ON MY SKIN

6MIRACLES AND MEDICINE

7FIGHTING THE ENEMY

8MOUNTAINS AND MARATHONS

9THIS IS OUR GOD

10YOU CAN EXPERIENCE JOY TOO

11FINALLY

12WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To my heavenly Father God, Jesus Christ, the Lover of my soul, and my Friend, the Holy Spirit. My only wish is to bring You glory. I pray this book will be a gift of worship. You have been so good to me throughout my life, and I can never thank You enough. Thank you for even loving my brokenness and saving me time and time again!

To my husband, Roelof, thank you for always loving me unconditionally. Thank you for entertaining all my crazy ideas and believing in me every step of the way! Thank you for always keeping me grounded and for meeting me where I was at all those years ago. You picked me up when I thought there was no way out and you loved me through some of my worst years of my life. I love you so much!

To my beautiful daughters, thank you for teaching me to be a mommy and for all the kisses after late nights of writing. You keep me young, and I love you forever!

To my incredible pastors. Pastor At and Nyretta Boshoff, thank you for the role that you have played in my life and in the lives of thousands of other people. Thank you for your faithfulness to God’s call and for never going with the popular opinion but rather with where God and the Holy Spirit leads. Thank you for teaching us what sacrifice is really about, and for paving the way for us to one day hear: Well done, good and faithful servant.

FOREWORD

There is nothing more humbling than meeting a young person who knows exactly where they stand with God and the role God plays in their life.

This book is an honest account of all things ‘Laetitia’. I was deeply touched by how she chose to tell authentic and vulnerable stories about herself, her friendships, and her family. It takes a great deal of courage to open up about one’s life and bear the truth for all to read. Laetitia’s very honest and transparent articulation of her journey, life, and experiences impressed me the most!

Grace and faith led Laetitia to tell her story. She gained the strength to write about her journey through her faith in God. And those reading her words will learn from her experiences and be able to choose a better path. People often watch and admire gifted singers like Laetitia and make assumptions about her and her life. What Laetitia does in this book is correct the mindset that says, I am perfect, and I have lived an easy and joyful life.

Instead, she chose to openly confess her failures, disappointments, deep pain, and JOY. I emphasise joy because this is indeed a book of JOY! Laetitia has elevated her painful life experiences, learnt from every lesson, and chosen JOY to be the outcome of her life’s journey to date. Faith is JOY. And anyone blessed to experience such a revelation should, in my view, absolutely tell their story as Laetitia has done!

I was particularly moved by Laetitia’s mature, cheerful outlook when she wrote, But if we get up and choose joy daily, no matter what, we have already won a massive victory. It is this outlook I love and choose to embrace and follow myself.

It is true that with God all things are possible. Today, Laetitia stands tall and confident in herself and her faith. No dark cloud can steal her joy. No person can pull her down. Her faith and relationship with God rise above any adversity. Her joy, energy, and love for God envelop every person who crosses her path. She delights in the amazing dividends she receives from her journey with God. I know her story will certainly change many lives!

Dr Ntombi Mhangwani

INTRODUCTION

As I sit on the floor of my daughter’s room, watching her play with a half-bald Barbie, I ponder my childhood and the things I’ve endured — things I pray my daughters will never experience. I wish I had more time to switch off and write, but wishes are for fairy tales, and in reality, the hands of time fly around that clock at the speed of light. We need to do what we can with the time we have, so here goes nothing…

Someone recently asked me how I managed to keep my joy throughout my life. The short answer? I just had to. There was no choice but to make it; I had to choose joy! For the long answer, you’ll have to read further.

I was sexualised too early, endured heartache, met bullies, battled a depressive nature, and overcame suicide. I lost my mom and dad to cancer, survived major operations, and fought burnout many times. If I did not hold on to some small piece of joy in me, I would not be sitting here today with a beautiful family, content and at peace. This is the story of my life (so far). Not that my life is any more important or exciting than anyone else’s, but I want to bring hope with my story. Whatever you’re going through, know that you can make it and that there is a Hope named Jesus you can hold on to.

This is the story of how I learned to keep my joy through some of life’s most challenging days and seasons… Of how I had to fight to regain my joy after the enemy tried to take the gift from me multiple times.

Now, I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out… I still get panic attacks and days where I don’t feel like picking up my head, but I know that God promised me joy, and I will hold on to that for as long as I live. I have learned that joy isn’t a destination you arrive at one day and then suddenly experience only joy every day. Joy is a gift. We need to accept it by making crucial daily decisions. I pray you will take these stories, learn from them, and apply the lessons to your life so you can also breathe a little easier.

But whatever you do… don’t you ever dare give up!

Laetitia Kae

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One

JUST A SMALL-TOWN GIRL

According to my mother, one of the first things I heard was the sound of my maternal grandfather praying over my not-so-tiny, 4.4-kilogram baby body. I guess I was made strong and bold from birth.

I can almost hear his calm voice as I imagine taking his finger with my small hands and squeezing gently as if to say Amen in agreement as he prayed:

Our Father who art in heaven.

Thank you for this gift of life.

May Your will be done in this child’s life,

and Your breath flow through her lungs.

May she be a vessel fit for the Master’s use

to do Your good works.

Work in her and through her.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen.

My grandfather was a godly doctor and farmer who led his family in truth and light. I remember visiting him and my grandmother as a little girl. The farm was called Juta and was situated on the Caledon River just outside a tiny Free State town called Smithfield.

We would sit in the sunroom on a Sunday morning. Sunlight streamed through the window as dust particles danced around in the beams of light, almost in slow motion, as my grandparents sat with their eyes closed, listening to church on the radio. This was non-negotiable, and everyone had to sit quietly as the minister said his piece. We were kids, so we obviously got bored, but my grandfather would peek through one eye and give us a slight frown so we would know we needed to take this time more seriously.

Do you also get these familiar feelings in the pit of your stomach when you think about specific moments? There’s even a particular smell you cannot put your finger on — a mouldy, mothball smell, yet sweet with an unexplainable calmness.

Some evenings, we would listen to the record player scratching away at the speed of sound. Then my grandfather would open his Bible and read in a very calm voice. So calm that I would fight the urge to fall asleep right there on his soft woolly feet, but a good pinch from my mom always did the trick to keep me awake. It was a safe place for my heart, and I loved sitting at his ‘slippered’ feet in the evenings, closing off the day in prayer before we could run up the carpeted stairs of the old farmhouse and jump on the beds… until my mother, filled with horror at our manners, got us to calm down.

My grandfather always said a man without a pocketknife and hanky was not a man and would never be allowed to marry his daughter. (My father went to buy them on the spot and proudly carried them so my grandfather could see!)

He used to sit in his lazy boy with his feet up and tell me to get the biltong. My gran would then give me a considerable chunk, so big I had to carry it with two hands! He’d carve the biltong into ‘booklets’, as we called them, and handed us some as he quietly watched his rugby. He also had a jar full of peanuts that he roasted in the oven. If we were lucky, they’d still be hot. We would sit on the porch and peel them as I entertained everyone with some silly story or song, always dressed up as some character from a storybook.

I’ve always loved my grandparents’ love story. Jacobus Lodewicus Paulsen (Kosie) met Letitia Charlotte Laurence (Tessa) at Stellenbosch Hospital. Tessa worked as a theatre nurse, and Kosie was busy with his community service. Kosie thought it would be great to introduce Tessa to his parents in Sutherland and the famous Karoo dish, skaapkop (sheep’s head).

As terrifying as that experience was, she left there with their approval, and their love story began. After his community service year, my grandfather went to work at the chrome mines in Zambia as a doctor. But he couldn’t get Tessa out of his mind. They kept in touch, writing letters to each other, but the post was slow, and time crawled along too slowly for their liking. When the longing became too great, Kosie wrote and said he wanted Tessa to visit him, and she immediately got on the train. He booked them into the local hotel, and by the time the sun set, Kosie asked her to marry him. She said yes, and two weeks later, in a borrowed dress, Tessa became Mrs Paulsen… much to her daddy’s dismay, but only because Zambia was so far away from him!

My grandparents made a difference wherever they went. By the time Rhodesia (Zimbabwe) gained independence, things had become a little unstable, and Kosie decided it was time to return to South Africa. When the president at the time heard they were about to leave, he tried to stop them and threatened that he would not allow it. But they went ahead and started selling everything quietly, bought a small truck, and packed up as many belongings as possible