Free Your Mind

By Amanda Kidd

A testimony about how God delivered the author, Amanda Kidd, from a plethora of mental illnesses without prescription drugs.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Nov 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9798350925890

Book preview

Copyright © 2020 by Amanda Kidd

ISBN 979-8-3509-2588-3 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-3509-2589-0 (digital)

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Illustrations by Ky’am Malik

All scriptures are paraphrased from the King James Bible. Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

My Testimony

But What about Crazy

Drive-bys, Shaming,

Flashback to My

I Had No Limits

Steel Magnolias

Still in Bondage

March 2001, the Fatality That Changed My Life

Finally, a Diagnosis

Don’t Come for Me or My Kids

I Said No!

Deliverance

God Spoke

Medical Terminologies

Medical Intervention

Get behind Me, Satan

We Do Need Counseling

Who Sinned?

The Invitation

Bondage

Boot Camp

Coworker Harassment

Grace When You

Judge Judy

Used to Be Spirit

Passing These Tests

OCD Boot Camp

Casting Down Thoughts

Beautiful Thoughts

Healthy Fear

Living My Best Life

Submitting to My Husband

The Finale

About the Illustrator/ Graphic Designer

About the Author

For the Most High God is not responsible for the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a stable mind.

—2 Timothy 1:7

My Testimony

The Holy Spirit helped me write this book in four days. As early as age fourteen, in my mind I began to have unwanted visions of my mother dying. These visions escalated into the majority of my family and friends dying, and even worse, I died in my visions too. Thoughts of tragedies bombarded my mind daily and repetitively. As a fourteen-year-old teenager, I lacked the mental capacity to distin- guish what was transpiring in my still-developing soul.

These visions eventually held me in bondage and developed into obsessions. I began to repeatedly check doors and the stove at night, believing there were burglars waiting to kill me, or perhaps I left the gas on. I also found it odd that I was obsessed with keeping my bedroom and total environment in order. I did not appreciate anyone rearranging my clothes or my bathroom towels, and some- thing as trivial as my bedroom pillows had to sit at a certain angle, and I would be furious if someone rearranged them.

I was trapped mentally by unwanted obsessions and compul- sions. The number of nights I cried myself to sleep is uncountable. I struggled and was literally in a battlefield in my mind. Could things get any worse? Yes! I observed early in my young adulthood that, if anyone brought intentional harm to me, I would retaliate with unprecedented ramifications.

Now, before you judge me, I believe it is normal for any wounded person to desire restitution for harm caused to them; however, my anger was always disproportionate to the offense. I had a plethora of defense mechanisms that qualified as revenge. My first response was

Amanda Kidd

a handwritten epistle loaded with explicit text and threats to my vil- lains. I learned later from a famous playwright that writing to release intense emotions is actually healthy. It’s called the process of cathar- sis. So I became infamous for expressing my anger through letters.

That was when I also earned the label she is evil and crazy. I never understood why people labeled me as such. How swiftly they forgot that my parents nicknamed me T-Nicey. The T is for tiny, and Nicey was birthed from my generous heart as early as age two. My parents said I was extremely nice and generous. I gave unselfishly to all.

Today, as I approach my fifty-first birthday, I still live up to my nickname. I would give anyone the shirt off my back because I hate to see humanity suffering. People could have identified me by the good in me, but Satan will always recruit his advocates to defame and slander your person. I know that God knows that I was never evil. People are either ignorant of the true terminology or selectively seek- ing to devour your character because the devil comes to kill, steal, and destroy us all (John 10:10).

The biblical and secular definition of evil is opposer of God. The Greek word poneros means people who are God’s enemies. Another word that describes evil is