The Mashed Potato Incident

By Ashley Bríon

Cheyenne's Thanksgiving family holiday is one weekend none of the family misses. This year, she's bringing her boyfriend Asher to meet her entire family for the first time. Cheyenne knows her family is eccentric and crazy, but what she doesn't know is the outcome of this Thanksgiving weekend. Will it either lead to complete disaster and make Asher leave, or will it make their relationship stronger than ever after dealing with Black Friday military drills, a knife-happy grandfather, and a family squabble like no other?

 

Warning: This book contains family generational trauma as well as ethnic slurs used by the older generations to depict the mindset of the time.

 

What are people saying about The Mashed Potato Incident?

"YESSS. The drama. Give me. It filled my drama-llama cup for the day. Like I just want to put it on a sticker and like stick it to my laptop so I can read it whenever I'm having a bad day. This is what I need on a sad day. . . .*chef's kiss*"-Pwnstar (Twitch Streamer)

"This is just what I needed during the holidays."-Noreah

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ashley Bríon
• Release date: Nov 14, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223580218

Ashley Bríon

Ashley Bríon is a 2013, 2015, and 2019 BA, MA, and MFA graduate in English and Creative Writing. Ashley has a long history of French and English heritage. She is bilingual speaking both French and English. She spends her free time gaming with her friends, acting, tap dancing, practicing yoga, and playing with her pets. Ashley embraces her love of history and different cultures through her writings, and is autistic and is a “social justice warrior” advocating for LGBTQIA+ and POC rights. Her favorite holidays are Halloween and Christmas and enjoys a cup of sake every evening. Follow her on all her socials and sign up for her monthly newsletter on her website. TikTok: @Jokergurl09 Facebook: www.facebook.com/authorashleybrion Instagram: www.instagram.com/@authorashleybrion Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/ashley-brion

Book preview

Dedication

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To my pap, who I miss dearly. RIP my cigar buddy. To my darling dog Ashes, who I miss most of all in this world. Fly high, baby girl, eat cheese curls, and I’ll see you at the Rainbow Bridge when my time is up. And to my family, thanks for the crazy holidays to give me this idea. 

And for your enjoyment on this lovely gobble gobble holiday:

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Trigger Warnings

Warning: This book contains family generational trauma as well as ethnic slurs used by the older generations to depict the mindset of the time.

1

On the Road Again

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I can’t BELIEVE I’m doing this, I thought, staring out the window at the whizzing trees going by.  

The colors all mixed together like a Leonid Afremov painting. The Blue Ridge mountains always looked so beautiful in the fall. The rocky cliffs on the side of the road held trees with their leaves of gold, pumpkin, and scarlet. The other side wasn’t as beautiful with its straight drop into the river below behind the guard rail, but the water looked calm and glassy today. For Thanksgiving Day, traffic was nonexistent. I had my headphones plugged in with one earbud in my ear watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade on my phone. I looked over at Asher in the driver’s seat, calm as a cucumber. For a guy who’s about to meet my entire family for the first time, how in the hell was he not nervous? No, he was just sitting over there singing along to some Disturbed like nobody’s business. 

You’re strange, I muttered. 

What? he said without even taking his eyes off the road, headbanging to Down with the Sickness. 

I raised my palms up and squinted at him, not believing his unemotional exterior. How can you be so calm about this? After everything I’ve said about my family, you don’t have a care in the world about this? 

Asher turned the radio down. What’s there to worry about? He chuckled in his low, bass-like voice. I’ve met most of them; so it’s not like I’m going in blind. I’ve met your parents, your aunt, and your grandma. I think I’m in. 

I scooted in my seat to turn towards him and stared right at that luscious, thick, dark beard he was growing. "But this is my grandfather we’re talking about here. A terrifying country boy who grew up in the ‘40s and ‘50s, saw World War II, Korea, Vietnam, all those other wars, and made his own kids pick ice off a mountain for ice cream! He likes guns and knives. He likes pointy objects!" 

Sounds like my kind of dude. Plus, Grandma loves me. How bad could he be if he’s married to that sweet old woman? He laughed. 

I sat back in my seat. Well, that didn’t go as planned. My grandfather was the same guy who used to scare me as a kid. Not so much anymore as an adult, but as a kid he could be menacing just by the way he looked at you. Must be the old age kicking in...the old man mellowed out.

I huffed. This is going to be a disaster. I just know it.  

Babe, relax. This isn’t my first rodeo at a family holiday dinner. If I can deal with my crackhead cousin, bougie-ass aunt who thinks the world revolves around her ass, and my overly religious Aunt Betty and Uncle Rob, I think I can handle yours. 

I cringed at the thought of ever having to see Aunt Betty and Uncle Rob again. I rolled my eyes and continued to stare at the blur of autumnal colors going by the window. Yeah, but this is MY family we’re talking about. You have no idea how bad they can be...

We drove down a long, winding road in the mountains until we came to a dirt road and some gravel. Now you know you’re living out in the boonies when the main road isn’t even paved. Finally pulling up to my grandma’s house, I let out a sigh.  

Home.  

Living three hours away was sometimes a blessing and a curse when it came to visiting my family. First off, it was nice being so far away when the drama started or somebody pissed somebody off and they go running around to everyone about it. However, it was painful when you just want to see your favorite aunt or your grandma and grandpa and just talk with them and be in their presence. Or sometimes, in my case, you just want to be around your dad who doesn’t give two shits about you to try and win his love. 

I