Living Through COVID-19: A Nurse's Perspective

By Evelyn Green

The COVID-19 pandemic was officially declared in March of 2020.  As the governments around the world started forcing mandatory lockdowns, the scientists and healthcare community struggled to find a cure.  Was the virus man-made or did it develop naturally?  Were the virus and treatment plans created to kill people, or was the spread of the virus a sign of life on other planets?  Explore the mysteries surrounding the origin of the virus and some of the conspiracy theories related to it and its treatment.  Explore different treatment options that were boosted by social media and/or by the medical community.  During the pandemic, most Americans were forced by nature to endure certain hardships and losses.  This book discusses some of these personal stories and shares some stories from the author and some other nurses who had to work as essential workers on the front lines during this war/pandemic. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Evelyn Green
• Release date: Jun 3, 2022
• ISBN: 9798223719809

Evelyn Green

Evelyn Green is married to her high school sweetheart and has two grown daughters.  She has a Master’s Degree in Nursing Education and has been working as a nurse since 1983.  Evelyn has a vast knowledge of nursing since she has working experience in Orthopedics, Cardiopulmonary, Critical Care, Surgery, Dialysis, Nursing Education, and Patient Safety and Quality.  When her children were young, Evelyn kept herself busy volunteering as a horse 4-H leader and a volleyball coach.  Now that her children are grown up and have lives of their own, Evelyn thought she could spread her own wings and spend some of her spare time doing things she used to enjoy, like creative writing.

Book preview

Chapter 1.  When it First Started

2020 will be a year for all of us to remember... when our world was crippled by the coronavirus pandemic.  Will we ever realize what we did wrong in stopping the spread of the virus?  They say that hindsight is 20/20.  I remember when it all first started since it was after my trip to Tampa, Florida.  During the first week of March 2020, I traveled to Tampa with some of my close friends.  This group consists of nurses and other associates that used to work together in a Critical Care Unit back in the 1980s and 90s.  Some of us still work in Critical Care, while others have moved on to different nursing professions.  The reason for this particular trip was to spend some time with one of our group members who was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  On our trip, we all wore a mask on the plane.  A lot of people looked at us as if we were strange or infected, but we all knew why we were wearing them and why we were wiping everything down with sanitizer wipes—for our own protection.  The thin mask didn’t prevent us from inhaling the virus in case someone coughed or sneezed moist infected particles into the air—within three feet away from us.  Only an N-95 mask would prevent that.  But our thin, breathable surgical masks were sort of a reminder—they reminded us to wash our hands before touching our own faces or mouths so we didn’t inoculate ourselves.  The COVID-19 virus can spread from one person to another by droplets.  In other words, meaning... the virus could be transferred from one person to another by tiny moist particles that someone coughed, sneezed, or spit into the air while talking.  And those particles could live on hard surfaces for an unbeknownst amount of time depending on what the surface was made from (wood, plastic, metal, etc.).

On our way home, while I waiting for an elevator at the airport, a man of Chinese descent stepped into the elevator with me wearing a mask.  The other people that were waiting with me for the elevator saw him, then looked at me wearing a mask and said, We’ll wait for the next one.  I guess they believed since we were wearing masks, we must have been infected. 

A couple of weeks after our trip, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared COVID-19 a pandemic.  As the virus spread throughout the world, the United States (US) government started preaching social distancing and travel restrictions.  By the time April 2020 came, the number of people infected with the virus exploded.  People were dying, and some hospitals couldn’t handle the increased influx of patients.  A couple of examples of heavily populated COVID-19 cases were noted in New York and Detroit - near major airlines and heavily populated areas.  I remember seeing pictures of patients lined up on ventilators in Emergency Departments, Surgery Departments, and Recovery Rooms all around the world.  In New York, the hospitals became so overwhelmed with COVID infected patients that our government sent a Navy hospital ship to help.  Unfortunately, from what I heard... the boat would only take COVID-19 negative patients.  But this did help with providing care to some of the general population that had chronic health problems. 

To help hospitals handle the sudden influx of patients, governments and hospitals around the world started developing plans to handle the sudden increase number of patients from the pandemic.  In Sweden, to prevent their Critical Care Unit’s from becoming overwhelmed, the National Board of Health and Welfare developed a guideline for doctors to triage their patients by age and their chance of surviving (Smith, 2020).  This plan ended up denying elderly patients access to care in the hospitals.  If an elderly person developed complications related to COVID they had to tough it out at home on their own or stay in the nursing home where they were living.  A COVID infection was basically a death sentence for most of the elderly... especially for some of the elderly that were living in nursing homes.  An article I found on the National Review by Wesley Smith (2020), claimed that some of the elderly patients that were living in nursing were immediately prescribed a palliative care treatment of morphine and versed—which accelerated their deaths by decreasing their respiratory drive (Smith, 2020).  The elderly patients were also denied any life-sustaining treatment such as oxygen, nutrition, or intravenous fluids (Smith, 2020).  Unfortunately, like in many other countries, the increased number of patients never came, so the hospital beds that were denied to the elderly in Sweden were left unoccupied (Smith, 2020).

In America, some states such as New York also sent their COVID-infected elderly to nursing homes -—where they just continued to spread the virus to others (Smith, 2020).  In Michigan, a lot of hospitals started to develop plans to stop elective surgeries/procedures and outpatient exams so they would have unoccupied beds and staff available to help care for the sick.  However, this plan didn’t work since a lot of the outlying hospital beds were left empty—waiting for an influx of patients.  When the patients didn’t come, some hospitals lost so much money that they were forced to close their doors or furlough a lot of their staff—to stay afloat.  By the end of May 2020, I remember a lot of nurses getting furloughed.  Even though the furloughs were scary since the nurses didn’t know if they would have a job to come back to, I remember wishing I was furloughed since I wanted a stay vacation.  I have worked all my life since I was 16.  The only time I ever had off was when I gave birth to my two daughters.  A lot of my non-medical friends had told me how they were furloughed and sent home for stay vacations.  Some of them were making more money staying at home and decluttering their houses than they did when they were working since unemployment was giving them an extra $600 a week.  However, some of the nurses that were furloughed ended up taking higher-paying jobs since they went to work on the frontlines in Detroit and New York. 

During this time of uncertainty, people started hoarding toilet paper while some hospitals started hoarding personal protection equipment (PPE) and ventilators.  In addition, most hospitals changed their visitation policies that included no visitors for patients infected with the virus.  I remember one of my colleagues told me she answered the phone in Critical Care and heard a husband sobbing.  He wanted to come in and see his wife.  He felt like he just dropped off his wife to die alone, in the hands of strangers.  In the long run, the only way we could help families stay in touch with their loved ones was to encourage the families to video chat with them on their phones.  For unresponsive or dying patients, donated tablets were hung from IV poles so the family could view their loved ones during their last moments on earth.  As time went on, some hospitals did start letting one visitor come in to watch through a window from the outside of the patient’s room while the staff pulled the breathing tube from their loved one – watching them pass, peacefully.

Chapter 2.  Forced to Work on the Front Lines

During the summer of 2020, the number of covid cases started to decline.  Some say the reason for the decline was due to the virus’s inability to live on hard surfaces if the outside temperature was over 80 degrees.  In addition, most people were following the guidelines of social distancing by staying home.  Large social events were canceled, weddings were put on hold, and even large funeral services were discouraged.  Most of the bars and restaurants were closed, so my friends and I had to meet for happy hour on zoom.  Cruises were canceled, so my husband and I had to reschedule our planned cruise for 2021.  So, the only entertainment my husband and I had was camping at our seasonal site.  Thank God we had a site since campgrounds were filling up fast and trailer sales were up.  I had to remind my husband frequently not to shake hands with anyone and stand at least six feet away from other campers.  Everyone just thought I was being overcautious.  Unfortunately, during the summer of 2020, my brother-in-law died from cancer.  We did have a small outdoor funeral service even though group gatherings of over ten people were discouraged.

During the summer of 2020, while most hospitals were in disaster mode, a lot of people died from chronic illnesses and/or heart attacks.  People were too scared to come into the hospital if they had chest pain, and most doctor’s offices would only see patients virtually – so many people failed to get preventive care.  By the end of the summer with no big influx of patients, some hospitals had to close their doors or lay off some of their staff.  They couldn’t survive financially.  The hospitals where I worked started to call people back to work so they could try to make up for the financial hit by starting up elective surgeries and decreasing the paid benefits.  To help the hospitals survive during this time, some executives took temporary pay cuts. 

After the summer of 2020 was over, the number of COVID-19 positive people started to rise again.  Most hospitals started developing policies on what to do if they had an influx of patients without enough beds.  The hospital where I worked, came up with a policy to pull all warm bodies with nursing licenses back to the bedside and open a different wing that had been closed for years.  The nursing pool they wanted to pull from included nurses in education, safety and quality, management, and calling some of the retired nurses back to work.  The only thing this plan didn’t consider was that some of these nurses hadn’t worked at the bedside for over 12 to 20 years.  In addition, nurses that retired didn’t want to come back to work and take care of patients on the frontline.

To help prepare these inexperienced nurses, the nurses were mandated to take over 20 online review courses, go to onsite skills fair at the hospital, and then complete an eight-hour orientation on one of the floors as an Assistive RN.  The orientation had a deadline date of the end of October.  Not sure what the hospital would do if we refused—would we be written up... or even fired?  The bosses were right on top of it, emailing and calling each nursing staff member to make sure they were signed up for orientation.   After the orientation was done, the nursing staff members were strongly encouraged, almost daily, to sign up for open slots at least once a pay period – over and above their regular scheduled hours.  I was scared to work on the front lines of this war since I heard a lot of nurses were falling ill and/or taking the virus home to their families.  I failed the N-95 mask testing.  So, if I took care of anyone with COVID-19, I was not protected unless I wore a Powered Air-Purifying Respirator (PAPR).  A PAPR is like a football helmet with a face shield and a little fan to keep the occupant cool.  At first, I volunteered in surgery and pre-post since supposedly these patients were tested before their procedures and were negative for the virus.  However, the testing took three days to come back, so the testing was done early.  After their elective surgeries, some patients tested positive for COVID, so the nurses taking care of that patient would have to be tested and quarantined.  I did work a couple of shifts in the Critical Care Unit (CCU).  Personal Protection Equipment (PPE) was scarce – so two N-95 masks had to be assigned to each nurse so the masks could be reprocessed at the end of the shift, then returned to the floor in a bag with the nurse’s name on it.  Even though I failed the N-95 mask fitting, a helmet was not available for my use.  My old friends that worked in CCU, gave me an N-95 mask to use.  I had to wear this mask the entire shift to help protect myself, along with a surgical mask to help prevent me from spreading germs – in case I was an asymptomatic carrier of the virus.  The nurses only assigned me patients that tested negative since they knew I failed the mask fitting.  However, no one knew for sure if a negative tested patient might end up positive.  I remember trying to answer a call light of a covid positive, panicking patient, that could not breathe because she felt claustrophobic and had taken her oxygen mask off.  All I could do was to stand by the door and try to talk the patient into putting her mask back on and to breathe slowly while I called for help.  The rooms were negative pressure, so I could open the door.  One of the nurses showed me how great the negative pressure was by placing a piece of paper on the floor outside of one of the rooms and watching as the paper was sucked under the door – into the room.  I also remember working one day in CCU and the COVID floor was short-staffed.  Staffing was low since a lot of nurses were falling off like flies – either stressed out and quitting their jobs or they caught the virus and were off on quarantine for 14 days.  The charge on that floor called the CCU charge nurse and asked for help.  I feel a little bad that the CCU nurse had told that charge nurse that no one was available since I was available but he knew I failed the N-95 mask test and I was too scared to go.  I didn’t want to take my chance of catching the virus and/or possibly taking it home to my family.  Sorry.  I was not one of the brave soldiers in this fight against the virus. 

While working on the floors, I never saw one manager working at the bedside.  I remember thinking, that the plan was to pull all the warm bodies with nursing licenses back to the bedside.  Not sure why I didn’t see them getting any orientation and working.  Maybe they were needed to oversee the crisis?  Or... were they too scared– to work on the front lines and expose themselves to the Covid dead and dying patients.   

During this time period, a lot of nurses were working five to six, 12-hour shifts in a roll.  I remember working in surgery as an Assisted RN during one of my four-hour orientations.  A nurse wanted me to take over the room so she could have a break.  I felt sorry for her since she deserved a break, but I told her I couldn’t.  I did remember how to help turn over a room, open sterile supplies, prep a patient, and help anesthesia put the patient to sleep, but I didn’t know the computer charting or where all the sterile supplies were stored.  I had to explain to the nurse that I was only supposed to be an assistant.  I couldn’t take over a room for safety purposes:  If a doctor needed something immediately (stat) to stop internal bleeding or something and I would end up like a chicken running around with its head cut off – searching for the needed equipment/instrument in the sterile storage room while a patient bled out. 

I remember one of my co-workers during this period of unrest, she hadn’t worked at the bedside in over 20 years.  When she went to work on one of the floors for her orientation, she was thrown to the wolves.  She called me the next day crying.  She said she was never going back again.  They expected her to take over a full assignment on her own.  She tried her best from what she could remember, but went home exhausted and worried that she forgot to do something or missed something that could have affected the patient outcome. 

After orientation, the hospital wanted to trial a mock assignment of a floor nurse working with an Assistive RN on the vacant wings of the hospital.  An Assistive RN would be assigned to a floor nurse.  The two nurses working together would be assigned ten patients.  The Assistive RN would be expected to give all the medications while the floor nurse did all the assessments.  I remember thinking to myself, why would they divide the assignment up that way.  How many people die yearly from drug mistakes compared to how many people die from a nurse’s failure to respond to a patient’s failing clinical picture.  I remember reading somewhere, that the number of people in our country that die yearly from medical errors is about the same as a large airplane with over 300 passengers—crashing daily.  Most people, even without a nursing degree, can look at someone and tell the difference between a walky/talky healthy person or a patient that is struggling to breathe or confused.  I can easily tell if a patient is in distress from the patient’s door....  A good 10 to 15 feet away.  I can tell if an IV is bad.  I still know how to listen to someone’s lungs, heart, and abdomen.  I know how to review labs.  I review medical charts daily in my current position in Patient Safety and Quality.  Thank God it never came down to this plan since I for one would have refused since it would have been my nursing license on the line.  As it was, I did run to grab some medications out of the medication cart for another nurse to give.  I remember trying to sign into the locked cart, but my name and password weren’t in the system like it was supposed to be.  I had to find the pharmacist assigned to the floor so she could add me to the system.  When I returned to the medication cart, I started getting the medications that were due for a specific patient.  When I selected a med, a drawer popped open with over 50 slots of different medications.  I looked at the computer screen.  The screen displayed the mediation number, the generic name, the drawer number, and the slot number all jumbled together in one line with no spaces.  I must have looked at the drawer number instead of the slot number, since after I grabbed the medication package and closed the drawer, I