Five Ways

By Darren McGuinness

Life has been anti-climactic for Corbin, Bunny, Quinton, Roy and Hunter. 

 

Working dead-end jobs. Working for men who value dog mess on the sidewalk more than them is the last straw.

 

In a twist of fate that will surely send shockwaves through each of their lives, the five men decide to take control.

 

Two million dollars just sitting, waiting to be taken is too much to reist.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Darren McGuinness
• Release date: Sep 10, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215593851

Darren McGuinness

Darren began writing fiction in 2022, first publishing The Nothingman on ebook and paperback. With a writing style that is accessible and heavy on character and a scene orientated narrative he allows the reader to connect and become entwinted in the charater's perspective.  Darren draws a lot of his inspiration from his own experience growing up and working in and around Glasgow, Scotland. With a background as a Paramedic working in prehosptial emergency healthcare he describes it as a priviledge to experience humanity in it's best, worst, happiest, sad and most weird and wonderful! Darren is always keen and engaging to hear what his readers think about his work and can be followed on social media @dmcguinnessauthor (Instagram) or emailed direct at [e-mail]

Book preview

Prologue

Three years Ago

‘W hat kinda fucking payday loan joint opens at 0600am?’ Hunter rocked back and forth, trying to calm himself.

‘One that has two million dollars laying in the back. Control yourself.’ Bunny grasped the back of his neck, trying to massage some steel into his faltering nerves.

‘I don’t like it.’ Hunter pulled at the neck of his overalls. They felt alive, starting a slow strangle as he realised there was no going back now.

‘Fuck sake H, I don’t like you bitching right before we do the thing.’ Quinton popped his knuckles, giving a serious side eye to the onlooking Hunter. His mind constantly calculating the odds of this working.

‘How many times have we gone through this?’ Roy stood, his head at an odd angle to avoid the roof of the van.

‘Right ladies! It’s now or not at all.’ Corbin pulled at the latex Albert Einstein mask that covered his face as he slammed the old van into reverse, ‘Straight out, got it?’ It never warranted an answer as he slammed his foot on the accelerator.

The van shot backwards, the high pitch of the motor travelling faster than the reverse gearing intended filled the empty air inside the van. Then tension was palpable between the five. The smash was deafening. The van lurched back and bobbed as though it was aboard a ferry crossing the angriest of waters.

‘Go!’ Corbin shouted; he was already out the door on the drivers side.

‘Down motherfuckers!’ Quinton had his shotgun aimed at two shellshocked men. Their hands held up, shaking. Chalky white dust covering their entire fronts, it reminded him of something he saw in a movie. What was once was a wall and set of back doors was now under the van. The van was now half parked inside their store. Pumping out a thick black smoke from the rattling exhaust

‘Hands behind your back!’ Hunter struggled to get the plasti-cuffs off his utility belt.

‘For fucks sake, here.’ Bunny tossed two sets of cuffs to him and handed Corbin his gun.

‘Gentlemen, where is it?’ Corbin poked the barrel of his shotgun into one of the men’s ribs as he lay face down in the rubble that had sprayed across the store. ‘You’d better fucking talk you Gene Simmons looking motherfucker!’ He hoped this would be easier. He raked the shotgun, hoping it would be enough, ‘You wanna go home tonight?’ He was shaking like a leaf – the last time he’d threatened someone was in high school.

‘Yo, Einstein. Got it.’ They all looked at him as he called out. Roy poked his head around from the doorway of a small store room, realising his mistake as he had eyes on four men wearing painters overalls and Albert Einstein masks.

‘Let’s load up and get the fuck out of here.’ Corbin shouted; the excitement difficult to conceal in his voice. He breathed a sigh of relief; he wasn’t sure he’d have been able to hurt the man to find out where the cash was.

Corbin was already in the front seat as he watched two large sports bags slide along the floorboards of the van. The four other men were in place and the doors slammed shut. Putting it in drive, he trundled away from the gaping hole in the rear wall of the store as though they hadn’t done a thing wrong. Hanging a left at the end of the alley they were onto Fourth and Butland.

There was deafening silence until he had gotten them across the bridge.

A chorus of shouts, whoops and whistles filled the van. It was adrenaline fuelled back slaps and hair tussles all round in the back. Corbin just smiled. He knew it would work. It had to.

Chapter One

Present Day

‘T he service was beautiful Marnie.’ Corbin released her from the hug, he smelled the salt in her tears and the booze on her breath. Who could blame her, she just buried her husband. ‘How are the kids?’

She dabbed a tissue at the end of her nose. A postnasal drip had threatened to finally drop as she caught it, ‘He was a good man, it’s good that you all could make it.’ She flipped a subtle wave at someone over his shoulder, ‘The kids understand you know, they watched him wither away, they were there when they started the morphine. I think they knew.’

Quinton placed a huge hand on her shoulder, ‘You know Camille and I will take the kids anytime.’

‘Thanks Q.’ She nodded.

‘Yeah, same for me and Hannah, anything you need.’ Bunny offered a thin-lipped smile. It was as uncomfortable as it looked, he hated funerals, weddings, anything that had mandatory cliché-ridden conversation.

Roy felt the awkwardness, he was the only one left that hadn’t said anything, he fished a hip flask from his suit jacket and held it out to Marnie, ‘Seems like a good time for the strong stuff.’

Marnie took a swig from the flask, then another, ‘Please excuse me boys. My mother is in need of some attention, don’t be strangers huh? Hunter loved you guys.’ She walked away, only to be caught by more mourners en-route to her mother. It was like perpetual motion.

CORBIN, ROY, BUNNY, and Quinton were sat at a small table in Gibb’s. It was the bar they’d last frequented as a group of five. It was an Irish bar far enough from the city that it had little trouble and it was close enough to their homes that a cab was under thirty dollars. If they chose to walk, they’d be better positioned to argue that they weren’t that drunk when the wives were waiting. In the winter, the cold sobered you up.

‘Just so fucking quick man.’ Quinton licked the froth from the head of his pint off his lips.

‘What was it? Nine months?’ Roy sneaked a drink from the flask. By the way he had to go bottom up it looked as though it was the last of his firewater.

‘Eight.’ Corbin pushed his hair back on his head, keeping his eyes on the room.

Bunny lifted his eyes from his phone, ‘You get it in the Pancreas, you are fucked.’ He put his phone on the table, ‘Remember Jackie? With the eye?’ They responded with a mixture of laughs and telling glances at him, ‘What? I never fucked her. It was only a blowjob, didn’t need to look into the eye.’

The table erupted into laughter; they stifled it after a harsh look from Marnie’s gargoyle looking mother. Bunny continued, ‘Well, Jackie’s old man got it, three weeks, Hunter was lucky to get the time he did.’ A few of the boys nodded, agreeing.

‘What’s two mill in a four way?’

‘Roy, shut the fuck up, keep your voice down.’ Corbin leaned in, he kept his eyes narrowed as he warned Roy with just a look, ‘We need to take a vote.’

Quinton snorted, pushing his beer back from the edge of the table, ‘This is a little soon, we are at his fucking wake.’

Corbin brought his hands together, gesturing for them to lean in, ‘We keep his cut, split even or it goes to Marnie and the kids.’

Q was first to answer, ‘Marnie and the kids man.’

Roy was next, ‘She don’t know about it, won’t hurt if it stays like that.’

‘Nah man, it won’t sit well with me like that, I’m with Q.’ Bunny caught the barmaids eye and winked. Turning his attention back to the table he said, ‘She ain’t got his salary no more, she’s a stay at home too.’

‘Three to one, Marnie and the Kids.’ Corbin sat back.

‘For fucks sake.’ Roy threw himself back in the chair.

Corbin shook his head, staring at Roy. ‘It’s decided, We will figure out the how and when at the weekend.’

QUINTON AND CAMILLE had said their goodbyes already, he had his two-beer alcohol limit and Camille was tee total having brought the car. Roy was hitting on another mourner, it may have been a cousin of Hunters, she knew who he was and he could not say the same about her. A vague feeling of familiarity suggested that he had met her before and was likely shit-faced.

Bunny and Hannah had managed to become entwined in an argument over his wandering eyes. She thought he spent too much time at the bar talking to the barmaid. Typical of the fiery Jewish New Yorker she was like a dog with a bone, ‘No, Corbin honey, come listen to this bullshit. How long does it take to order a fuckin beer and a white wine spritzer huh? Two fuckin minutes? So, why does it take this fuckin asshole ten minutes? Is it because little miss slut over there...’

She was in full flow; Corbin had no intentions of answering.

‘Jesus fucking Christ Hannah! Every fucking time, This is why we can’t go out...’ Bunny tapped a hand against his forehead, an exercise to show the onlookers he was sick of it.

‘Do not bring the lord in to this – he can’t help you, are you fuckin her? Tell me?’ She had stepped up a level, not only in volume but she was on her feet. ‘You know where the couch is prick!’ She stormed out of that bar like it had run out of alcohol.

Corbin brought a beer and a gin and tonic back to the table, ‘Did you time me?’

Jenna laughed, making sure Bunny didn’t see her, ‘I feel bad for them Corbin, they don’t seem happy, not like us.’

‘Everybody has a rough patch, theirs is just longer.’ He pushed his eyebrows up his forehead, ‘Maybe.’

‘How did Uri handle the request for today off?’ Jenna asked.

‘Wants me to work Sunday.’

‘Did you tell him it was your best friend?’

‘Course, he’s a see you next Tuesday babe, hopefully not much longer and I can work for myself.’

‘You know I hate that word, even when you say it that way.’ Jenna wasn’t lying, she was disgusted with him when he called a woman a cunt after she spilled egg mayonnaise on him at an Applebee’s, ‘How long?’

He knew she was becoming restless, disenchanted at his job working for Uri Fausto at his used car lot. ‘I don’t have a timeline babe, just a little longer.’

‘HOW LONG YOU WORKED here? Haven’t seen you much.’ Bunny kept his voice down as he spoke to her. His mouth a few inches from her ear.

‘Couple weeks.’ She said, her voice wavering as he pushed inside her. He grabbed her ass as he started to nibble her ear. The cold air whipping around the dumpster made him work faster as he felt the chill on his bare ass. She dug her nails into the small of his back as he picked up the pace.

‘Wow, no nails, please.’ He stopped, looking at her face, she looked prettier in the bar. Maybe he was sobering up.

‘Fine, my breaks done in five.’

He started fucking her again, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be done by then, there’s a reason they call me Bunny.’ She considered it for a mere second and then realised what he had meant by it.

The barmaid pulled her thong back up and lit up a blunt. Bunny pulled the condom off and tossed it inside the dumpster. He teased the blunt out of her grasp and took a few puffs, handing it back to her he said, ‘See you next time one of my friends die.’ He winked and headed along the alley, avoiding the potholes filled with stagnant garbage water.

Corbin saw him at the corner, Jenna had already called an Uber. He could see the look on his face, it was the same look every single time. He had fucked the barmaid. Even if he denied it, his face never gave him a plausible defence. ‘You want a ride home?’

‘Sure, where’s Roy? He coming?’ Bunny looked along the street as he spoke. His eyes a pinkish colour. It must have been some strong weed.

‘He’s gone, the cousin.’ Corbin put an arm around Jenna.

‘That cousin?’ She said.

‘This third time lucky?’ Bunny asked.

‘Fourth.’ Corbin laughed, followed by Jenna and Bunny. All at the expense of Roy. The laughs were not solely unfair. Roy had already pulled Hunter’s cousin three times before. Every single time was a sexual misadventure of sorts. He either passed out during, before or couldn’t get it up in the first place. Elena, the cousin had told them all about it.

Chapter Two

***

Corbin Miller

‘Y eah, I’ll pick it up after work, no did you manage to swing...’ The line went dead. Corbin looked up at Uri Fausto standing in front of his desk, a finger on the end call button of the phone. He opened his mouth and Uri beat him to it.

‘If there is a customer on my lot, then you are outside. Not on the phone.’ His round face was inanimate except the biggest, bushiest eyebrows that seemed to flicker when he spoke. They seemed alive. Corbin wanted to stand up and lay the fat man out on his back.

‘Uri that was my wife, I’m on my break.’

‘Do you want paid? I’m sure your wife will not be happy if you do not have a job, I have told you before, you take breaks when we are quiet. You take a day off, you come in when I say. You owe me the day Corbin.’ He spat as he spoke to Corbin and walked off, heading toward the kitchen.

Corbin called him a fat prick under his breath and headed outside. A couple, similar age to Corbin and Jenna stood beside a two-year-old Range Rover. They did the predictable, pretending not to be too interested thing when they saw him approach.

‘Hello, welcome to Fausto’s Used Autos, my name is Corbin. Can I help you with anything?’ Corbin stood off the potential customers, smiled and kept good open posture.

‘Hi. I’m John and this is my wife Nancy.’ The man flashed a set of perfect veneers. He reached out, the thirty grand Rolex caught the light as he reached out to shake Corbin’s hand. He shook the man’s hand and shook Nancy’s too. She wore at least five thousand dollars on her person. This had sale written all over it. Maybe it would get Uri off his ass he thought.

‘Do you like the Ranger Rover, what kind of specification are