Thicker Than Water

By Stuart Bone

Abigail Adams is shocked when she discovers a man looking for her late mother is claiming to be her son.  Surely it must be a mistake, but what does she really know about Mary from before she was born.  Where did she come from?  What happened to the rest of her family?

 

When Abi and Stephen meet he drops another bombshell that leaves his new-found sister reeling.  Together they try to uncover the truth about his birth so that Stephen can gain closure and Abi can mourn the mother who is starting to become a stranger to her.

 

Back in the mid-sixties a young Mary Adams is living in a male-dominated world with only her disagreeable Aunt Peg and assertive friend, Moira for female company.  At least she has her boyfriend, Roddy to make her happy, despite what others say about him.  But then Mary finds herself pregnant and her whole world implodes.  Betrayed by the men in her life she has to turn to her scathing aunt for help.

 

As the present begins to reveal the past so Abi and Stephen start to fear they perhaps should have left well enough alone, but how can they stop looking for answers now.  The truth must be out there, but will it bring brother and sister closer together, or will it drive them apart?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stuart Bone
• Release date: Aug 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9781838277031

Book preview

Chapter 1

Abi was stood by the patio doors that led out on to her back garden, staring at the view of the lake in the park beyond.  It was difficult to tell whether the rain on the window or the tears in her eyes were blurring the scene more.  As a child she'd often walked through that park with her mother, looking back across to these houses, thinking the owners so lucky to have a lake at the bottom of their gardens.  Two months ago she'd finally become one of those owners but the joy and happiness at achieving that dream had soon faded.

She wished she could be that little girl once more, holding her mother's hand while smiling at the fountain that sent a jet of water soaring high into the air.  She wanted to look up into those large, familiar, chocolate brown eyes and know how much she was loved, but that would never happen again.

Mary's funeral.  It was always going to be a sad day, saying goodbye to her mum who had never had a day's sickness in her life, but who had died suddenly two weeks before from a massive heart attack.  There'd been no time to say goodbye.  But Abi's tears weren't for her mother right now.

Why did she have to read that text this morning?  It had been an automatic reaction to pick up the phone after hearing the notification sound.  It might have been some last minute problem with the funeral arrangements.  She hadn't understood the message at first, until she realised it wasn't her phone she was staring at.

There'd been no time to confront Russ then.  Flowers had started to arrive followed by friends of Mary's who were joining them in the car to the crematorium.  The day altered for Abi in the seconds it took to read that text.  At the service the minister's kind words went unnoticed as Abi's thoughts wandered.  Russ' comforting arm around her shoulder became a loathsome touch she’d had to shake off.  The sorrow she’d wanted to feel was replaced with anger, a rage that needed to be released.

The drinks in the cordoned off area of the pub afterwards had seemed like torture, but at least her anxiousness and inattention were put down to grief.

'It's hit you hard, I can tell,' Brendan Martin had said to her, as he gave her a hug goodbye, 'but remember, I'm always here for you.'

As a child her mother's boss had always been Uncle Brendan, never Mr Martin, but then he was first and foremost a family friend.  Many other people in the pub Abi hadn't recognised.  She'd wondered if perhaps Mary's neighbour, Beatrice had brought people from her church.  That would explain the vicar being there.  Mary had never been religious, not atheist just not a churchgoer.  The vicar was an elderly man, surely too old to be working, but he still wore a dog collar.  As he'd frowned when speaking to Abi so his ice-blue eyes had taken on an almost triangular shape and she'd found she couldn't take her own eyes off of them.  It was the one moment of the day she could recall in detail now as she stood by the patio doors.

'What a sad situation it is,' he'd said to her. 'Everyone has their time of course, but still.'

He'd sighed as he patted her hand, suddenly lost in his own thoughts.

'Perhaps it's for the best after all.  So much time gone, so much wasted.'

Abi hadn't known how to reply to that and wondered how much of the free wine he might have drunk.  She shook that thought and the man away now and her mind moved forward to what happened later.  The funeral finally over she'd readied herself in the taxi to confront Russ as soon as they arrived home.  His hand on her shoulder in the hallway, asking how she was doing, was the catalyst to let rip.  She let her mask fall and told him exactly how she was feeling and why.

The worst thing was he didn’t deny it.  Abi had been desperate for him to say she’d made a mistake, that the stress and mourning she was experiencing had clouded her judgement, but he hadn’t done that.  He’d just bowed his head and looked embarrassed.

'How could you?' she’d shouted at him. 'And with Jenna of all people.  You always told me you didn’t like her.'

'I didn’t,' he’d replied. 'It wasn’t meant to happen.  I was just...well, a bit down.'

'A bit down,' Abi had mimicked. 'A bit down?  For fuck’s sake Russ, I’m the one who’s more than a bit down but you don’t see me jumping into bed with someone I don’t like.'

'I know, I’m sorry.  It’s just that you...'

Russ had stopped talking mid-sentence.

'It’s just what?  Are you about to blame me for you having an affair?'

'It wasn't an affair and no, of course I’m not blaming you, it’s just that we...well things have been tough lately that’s all, what with the house move and then Mary and...I suppose I needed someone to talk to that wasn’t you.  I mean I didn’t want to burden you with my concerns.'

'How thoughtful of you,' Abi had replied, sarcastically. 'So you thought shagging the woman even you refer to as the department bike was just to help me out.'

'It wasn’t meant to happen but then we were all out drinking, and it just did.'

'And now the stupid bitch is sending you text messages saying she loves you.'

'That’s because she’s crazy.  You know what she’s like,' Russ had told her. 'Look, I don’t know what’s happening.  It’s all got out of hand.  I don’t know what I should do.'

Abi had felt exasperated.

'You’re expecting me to help you out, are you?'

'No, it’s just...well it’s worrying me.  We’re in the same team, she works for me.  It could affect my job.'

'Boo hoo.'

'Oh for God’s sake, Abi, grow up,' Russ had suddenly exploded. 'My God if you weren’t so uptight perhaps I wouldn’t have needed to go elsewhere.'

She’d been too angry to respond straightaway.

'I don’t believe you,' she’d finally blurted out. 'I’ve found out you’re sleeping with another woman on the day of my mother’s funeral and you think it’s my fault, is that right?'

Russ had skulked.

'I’m just saying that you’re working so much, at home as well as at the office.  What with my shift patterns we don’t seem to see much of each other.'

'You are fucking unbelievable,' Abi had told him. 'Get out.'

'What?'

'Get out.  I don't want to see you.  I don't want to talk to you right now.  Just go.'

'Where?'

'I don't care.  Your brother's.  You stay over there often enough after your Friday night pub sessions.  Fuck off there.  I don't want you anywhere near me.'

Russ had stomped upstairs to pack a bag.  That was when Abi had walked into the back room and stood by the patio doors, only allowing herself to break down once she'd heard the front door close.  The timing of this couldn't have been worse and not just because of the death of her mother and the funeral.  Yesterday, Abi had had it confirmed she was pregnant.

Chapter 2

After a sleepless night Abi rose early and drove to her mother's apartment in Dagenham.  Today was the day she had to return the keys to the local council and she wanted one last look at the property where she'd grown up and where her mother had been so happy.  It all felt too quick and cold.  Abi had so many memories attached to the place but there wasn't time to luxuriate in them.  There was no time for grief.  The apartment had needed clearing, ready for a new tenant.

It wasn't just the apartment.  Everything seemed to have happened quickly.  It had been surreal, sat in a funeral directors with Russ only two days after her mother's death.  Abi was still struggling to take in what had happened and yet there she was, picking out a coffin and being asked if she wanted a lock of hair as a keepsake.  A cancellation due to a family's change of mind about a burial meant Mary's funeral could be held at the crematorium in two weeks instead of four.  Still in a daze, Abi had allowed Russ to accept the earlier date, he telling her it would be better to get it all over and done with.  Now, with the funeral performed, the apartment almost empty, and the discovery of Russ' affair, Abi felt like everything that mattered in her life had come to an end.

It had been Russ and his brother who had done most of the clearing out of Mary's apartment.  They'd left clothes inside drawers and hanging up in wardrobes for speed, storing everything in the fourth bedroom of the new house, the room Abi had earmarked for her home office.  She hadn't been able to face going through her mother's personal possessions yet and the door to the bedroom was kept shut at all times.  Just catching a glimpse of the child's cardigan Mary had been in the middle of knitting for one of her neighbour's church fetes had been enough to send Abi into floods of tears, knowing it would never now be finished.

Today she only had to pick up a couple of boxes left at the apartment, plus the folding deckchairs that had been taken over for somewhere to sit while the place was being emptied.  Russ was supposed to be with her today to be a comfort to her if she got upset.  As Abi drove up through Eastbrookend Country Park and on past her old senior school, the original building now replaced by a number of new, larger ones to house pupils for a growing East London population, she wondered if he would still turn up.  She wasn't sure whether she wanted him there or not.

Taking this so familiar route she couldn't help thinking about the other times she'd driven this way in need of solace, sometimes feeling stressed-out over a work project but more often than not, being upset due to a silly row with Russ.  Mary had always been there for her, usually with the kettle on.  Abi wished she could find comfort today but all that awaited her was an empty council property and just memories of loving, maternal arms enveloping her.  How was she meant to cope without a mum?

It had always been just the two of them, Abi and Mary, living in the small property just down the road from Dagenham East underground station.  As a small child, once she’d started attending school and realised she was seen as different for not having two parents, Abi had asked about her father.  Mary had told her that he lived far away and wasn’t able to be with them.  That had been enough for the little girl, knowing she did have a father somewhere so she wasn’t so different from her classmates after all.

For a number of years she'd maintained a secret dream that one day he would return to them like a knight in shining armour.  He never had and by the time she was a stroppy teenager, that dream had evaporated and Abi no longer gave any thought to the man who had abandoned them, not even staying around long enough to be a name on her birth certificate.  No, Mary had been both parents to her, and Abi had been more than happy with that.

She had to drive past the apartment block before finding a parking space further along the busy main road, meaning carrying the boxes on her own would be even more of a pain.  The whole area felt busier each time she came.  Romford was also busy but Abi liked the fact that she now lived in one of its more expensive, leafy turnings where each house had a driveway so that parking was never a problem.  Mary had never wanted to leave Dagenham.  She loved the two-bedroomed apartment with the small balcony overlooking the main road.  Having never learned to drive it was convenient for her to get anywhere she wanted with the District Line up the road and a bus stop right outside her home.

Abi walked back to the block and entered the communal lobby, making her way up the stairs to the second floor, the top floor.  She put the key in the lock and opened the door, picking up the mail from the mat.  Apart from the free local newspaper it was mostly various pieces of junk mail advertising local pizza places and Indian restaurants.  There was one card in an envelope that must surely be another condolence card.   Abi walked down the narrow corridor to the lounge-diner at the far end of the apartment and threw the papers onto the shelf above the small, electric fire.  The place felt cold even though it was May, but perhaps that was because it was so bare now.  Abi shivered.  She couldn't believe this was going to be the last time she came here.

She opened up one of the deckchairs and sat down in the lounge, mulling over how much her life had changed in such a short space of time, particularly as she'd expected it to be so perfect.  Abi was in a new job, heading up a large finance team of thirty.  She and Russ had sold their old house in Hornchurch, plus their first apartment that they'd rented out by the train station, and bought the house in the road Abi had always wanted to live in, backing onto Raphael Park on the border with expensive Gidea Park.  It should all have been perfect.

Okay so Russ hadn't been as excited about the move as she had, particularly with selling the Hornchurch apartment, a source of separate income, but this was Abi's dream.  Besides, it wouldn't hurt them to tighten their belts a little.  Of course if Russ had pushed himself as much as she had at work he would be more than just a team supervisor at the postal warehouse.

'I’m happy as I am,' he’d reply to her, when she asked about promotion.

'But surely you want change,' she’d persist, 'otherwise you become stale.  Don’t you want more?'

At that point things usually escalated into a row and Abi had learned to bite her tongue and seethe inside instead.  But what did that matter now?  Sitting in her mother's cold, lonely home made her fear finding herself in a similar position, raising her child alone in some council property.  While proud of what her mother had achieved Abi had always wanted more for herself, knowing her generation had more opportunities than her mother’s, but here she was repeating the same pattern as Mary, alone and pregnant.  She knew she was thinking irrationally and that growing up in a council property hadn’t done her any harm, but the fear of losing everything she’d achieved because of Russ and his cheating made her scared and angry.

She stood up and walked across to the doors leading out onto the small balcony, watching the traffic pass below.

It was so frustrating that he’d had to pick Jenna.  Abi had only met her on a handful of occasions when she’d gone out with Russ and some of his colleagues on a night out, but she’d soon got the measure of her.  So desperate for any kind of male attention, Abi watched this obviously intelligent woman pander to her colleagues, acting the dumb blonde, laughing loudly at their stupid jokes, bolstering their egos.  Abi tried to avoid those evenings now.  She didn’t care if Russ' mates thought her stuck up.

Right now she couldn’t believe Russ had been taken in by Jenna.  Was that what he was into, a woman with bleached hair and a fake tan who would dress in tight, low-cut tops and then spend the entire evening leaning forwards or pressing herself up against a man, any man?  Abi had always dressed conservatively and her light brown hair was usually either put up or was brushed into a tight ponytail so that it always looked tidy, but that didn’t mean she ignored her looks.  Her curvaceous figure didn’t need short skirts or tight outfits to be noticed, not that she wanted men to notice her but they still did.

While Russ was a tall, good-looking man with his dark eyes and olive complexion (he’d often been mistaken as being Italian) Abi had never felt the need to be jealous or to worry about him looking elsewhere.  They both knew it was the person inside that counted and they loved one another, but had that been a mistake?  Had she taken him for granted, not paid him enough attention?  Should she have complemented his appearance more?  Should she have dressed more sexily for him?

'No!' Abi called aloud, as she turned round and walked back to the chair, shaking her head.

She wasn't going to feel insecure and needy, like Jenna who had appeared to fall in love after a one-night stand.  This wasn’t her fault it was his.  He’d betrayed their love for one another.  How could she ever trust him again?  But what about the baby?  Abi sat down again.

She'd never particularly wanted one and was forty-four years old now.  That was old for having a baby, especially a first.  She was scared, well petrified about what could happen to her.  But was she going to keep it?  Abi couldn't help feeling concerned about what having a baby would do to her career.  This new job was the first time she had entered a role at such a high level and she felt she was still finding her feet with that, even though she always thrived on pressure and long hours.  Even now, while taking time off using compassionate leave and some holiday, Abi was still logging in at home each day and checking all of her emails.  A baby would affect the way she worked, especially if she and Russ didn’t get back together.  The thought of being a single mother filled her with dread.  She doubted she'd be able to keep the dream house they’d so recently moved into.

The most difficult thing at the moment though was struggling to cope with the fact that it was only seeing Russ' text that told Abi her boyfriend had cheated on her.  Had he planned to tell her or had he hoped it was always going to remain a secret?  Had it happened before in their relationship?  Was this really just a one-night stand?  Jenna was seen by everyone as the good-time girl and Russ had suggested it was a mistake but the deceit of it all was almost unforgivable, not that Abi could just switch off loving the man even though she hated him right now.  If it was a mistake and he was sorry about it, perhaps there was still hope they could repair the damage.

Abi sighed as she absently picked up the mail from the mantlepiece.  She took the card that had come through the post and undid the envelope, expecting to see the words In deepest sympathy or Thinking of you at the top of it, but the small card only had a sunflower on the front.  Opening it up she was surprised to see the blank space inside filled with written words.  After she read it, Abi was no longer worrying about the state of her relationship.

Dear Mary Adams

I know this will be a shock for you, receiving this letter, but I’m sure you’ll understand why I’ve sent it.  I’ve tried writing it several times but I can't put things any other way.  I believe I’m your son.  I'm sure you'll be surprised that I've found you and really, it was a stroke of luck that helped me in the end.

This is as difficult for me to write as I’m sure it is difficult for you to read but you must realise that I have a number of questions that I need answering.  Yes, it’s been fifty-five years since I was given up and I have known about that for some time, but I recently lost my mother and it suddenly felt like the right time to search for you.

I’ve never felt completely whole and there’s so much I don’t understand and only you can help sort that out.  I’ve added my address at the bottom.  While I would obviously like us to meet I understand that you may want to converse through letter at first.  We can sort phone numbers and arrangements to meet at a later date.  Please respond.  I’ll write again in a couple of weeks if I don’t hear back.

Yours sincerely

Stephen Farmer

Chapter 3

Abi couldn’t believe what she’d just read.  The words were in the right order but they didn’t make any sense.  Who the hell was this madman and how had he got hold of Mary’s home address?  Mary didn’t have any other children, she couldn’t have.  Abi would have got an inkling at some point in her life, wouldn’t she?

She read through the card again.  What did he mean by saying he’d write again if she didn’t respond?  That sounded like a threat.  How dare he be like that when he was the one mistaken.  He’d obviously got hold of the wrong person.  Abi wished he'd added a phone number.  She'd have rung it up and given him a piece of her mind.  Should she write back?  No, it was probably best to ignore it.  If he wrote again the apartment would belong to someone new anyway.  Abi threw the card into the bin liner she'd left in the kitchen for any final pieces of rubbish, and this was definitely a piece of rubbish.

She began taking the boxes, one by one, down to the car, trying not to think about the letter she'd just read, but that was impossible.  How much more was she meant to go through?  She’d just lost her mum, her boyfriend was having an affair and hadn't bothered coming to help her today, and she was pregnant.  Now she had to cope with some deranged man who was harassing her mother.  Her only consolation was that this appeared to be the first contact so Mary wouldn’t have been aware of him.

Abi shook her head, knowing she was getting herself into a state.  She needed to think rationally about everything.  There was nothing she could do about the grief over her mother.  The suddenness with which she'd been taken had shocked Abi and she just needed time to process it.  There was also time to think about the pregnancy and what she wanted to do, just as there was time to speak with Russ about their relationship.  She didn’t think she’d imagined the sound of reluctance in his voice about the affair.  Perhaps there was a chance they would be able to save their relationship.  They’d been together for eighteen years after all, since Abi was twenty-six and he was thirty-one.  She didn’t want to throw all of that away if this had been a genuine mistake.

This man, Stephen Farmer who had sent the card, was he really a madman?  Surely a madman would have turned up at the door, not written a letter inside a card with a sunflower on the front of it.  He must be a confused man who had got the wrong end of the stick.  Perhaps one letter written back to him would be enough to put him straight.  Then Abi could return to getting on with her life.  That all seemed sensible.  So why did she still feel uneasy?

The problem was that she knew very little about her mother's life.  There had never been any aunts or uncles or cousins to talk with, no grandparents to tell her what her mother had been like as a girl.  Abi couldn't remember ever querying that before.  Perhaps wondering who her dad was had stopped her thinking about other relatives.  Growing up with just her mum had been the norm for her.  School friends used to talk about step parents and half siblings and so Abi had concluded that everyone’s family was different in some way, it was just life.

As she put the last box into the boot of her car, Abi cast her mind back and tried to remember if she'd ever asked Mary about cousins and grandparents but she couldn’t recall a memory.  Where had her mother been born?  Where had she gone to school?  All Abi knew of her was that she’d always worked for Brendan Martin's building company, doing his secretarial work and book-keeping before his son took over the business.  She’d retired at sixty-five.

Abi thought about Brendan.  He’d been a big part of her life.  How long had he been a part of Mary’s?  Perhaps he could tell her more about her mother’s past.  He’d told Abi he was here for her whenever she needed him.  She didn't have to tell him about the letter from the man named Stephen, at least not yet.

The more she thought about it the more Abi felt this would be the best option.  Brendan must know something about the Mary from before Abi was born, that would be a start.  She took out her phone as soon as she was back inside the apartment and called his number, asking if she could come and see him.

'Of course,' he told her, brightly. 'I’m in the office all day today.'

'I'm at mum's,' she replied. 'I can be there in five minutes.'

Abi walked up the road, doing the same journey her mother had done daily for years.  Brendan was eighty years old but the place he was happiest was still being at the builders yard.  He’d set up his business just the other side of Dagenham East underground station years before and Abi knew Mary had been his first employee.  It was one of the reasons her mother had been so happy with the apartment the local council had given her after Abi was born, allowing her to walk to work each day.  The company had expanded during Brendan’s tenure but when his eldest son, Mark took over, it changed beyond recognition, causing a family rift for a time.

Whilst Brendan’s company worked a lot with the local council, often on repairs and updates to local authority housing, Mark began working with architects on new housing developments.  The company moved into supplying products and that side of things took over from the actual building and maintenance of properties.  A lot of the old staff were let go.  A new office manager was brought in alongside new computer equipment to help with the growing supplies business.  Mary, a few years off from retiring by then, said she was happy to be left to menial office tasks, although Abi had been  appalled.  But her annoyance was nothing compared to that of Brendan’s who, instead of enjoying retirement himself, set up a new company to supply building staff, taking on all of the employees Mark had let go.  Brendan’s wife had to intervene between her husband and son and get the two men talking again.  Brendan’s new business had flourished and was incorporated into the main company, but still with Brendan as its head while Mark ran the rest.

Brendan had wanted Mary to stay on and work solely for him but she stayed in Mark’s office, happy with her daily tasks until ready to retire at sixty-five.  While she’d been a part of the ‘old company’ Abi knew she’d actually understood the IT system quicker than the new office manager and Abi wasn’t surprised when, after her mother left, the manager had taken on two new members of staff.

Abi walked into the entrance to the premises of Martin & Sons, feeling a wave of nostalgia as she did.  While it had expanded and altered, with a new office building built where the old prefab used to be, the place was still recognisable as the old builders yard.  Where Mark’s parking space now was, was the place where some of Brendan’s team had created a makeshift sandpit for a young Abi to enjoy during school holidays.  Aside from playing in it, it was also her vantage point from where she could watch delivery lorries coming and going or the builders all sat round an upturned crate, playing cards during a break

Brendan’s office was on the right of the entrance.  He was on the phone when Abi was shown in and he waved at her to sit down.  As she did she noticed how much younger Brendan looked when working.  His short hair was white but his dark blue eyes shone while he spoke to the person on the other end of the line.  Always a tall man, he was sat now with his back straight in a perfect posture.  His crisp, light blue shirt was creaseless and his paisley tie done up in a Windsor knot.  After finishing his phone call he beamed at her.

'I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon,' he said, 'not that it isn’t a pleasure.'

Abi smiled at him but didn’t say anything, suddenly unable to think of the right words to open with.  Brendan must have sensed her uneasiness.

'Is something wrong?' he asked her. 'How can I help?'

'Can you tell me about mum?' Abi blurted out.

Brendan’s bushy, white eyebrows rose in confusion.

'I mean from before I was born,' she added. 'I feel like I don’t know anything about her from then.'

'Well,' Brendan began, scratching his chin, 'she wasn’t really any different to what she was after you were born.'

He smiled kindly across the desk.

'You knew the real Mary,' he said. 'You haven’t missed out on anything.'

Abi wasn’t so sure about that.

'Where did she come from?' she asked. 'How did you meet her?  What were her family like?  Did she even have family?'

Brendan let out a long breath.

'That’s an awful lot of questions, Abigail,' he said. 'I never knew your mother’s family.  We only met when she applied for