To Live and Live Not

By Percy Townsend

A twisted tale of love, death, and the supernatural, this story is the last of the Austin trilogy, following To Kill a Cat and Millie and John. The maid, Maria, returns as a central figure, continuing her love for cats and her devotion to the three men in her life. John, the last of the Austin family, grieves over the accidental death of his beloved Millie and the heinous murder of his cousin Mark to the point of becoming suicidal. Maria, as well as the new characters introduced--Ellie, Bill, and Nancy--do their best to comfort him, all to no avail. John returns to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, to visit old and dear friends. There, he does some adventurous sightseeing, including a trip to the infamous pyramid. As in the first two books, the story pivots around and in the house at 1355 Sunset Road, which witnesses unexplainable and mysterious happenings, including the gripping conclusion.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 16, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887638591

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

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About the Author

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To Live and Live Not

Percy Townsend

Copyright © 2023 Percy Townsend

All rights reserved

First Edition

NEWMAN SPRINGS PUBLISHING

320 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ 07701

First originally published by Newman Springs Publishing 2023

ISBN 979-8-88763-858-4 (Paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88763-860-7 (Hardcover)

ISBN 979-8-88763-859-1 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

To all men everywhere that once, and only once, have taken a bride, to love and to cherish until death do us part.

It has been told that there is a bird that lives in the mountains of Guanajuato that is closely related to the Loggerhead Strike, but has a peculiar lifestyle all its own.

A young male will catch a lizard or chameleon, pin it to the ground with his feet, and bite off its tail. He swallows the tail and carries the body into a tree, where he impales it on a sharp twig.

He then lures a young female there. For a while, she exchanges glances between him and the carcass. When she finally approves of him, she will start eating the impaled prey and the male joins her in the feast. After they have finished their meal, they mate and stay mated for the remainder of their lives.

Like many birds, they jointly build a nest and take turns sitting on the eggs. They work together to feed their offspring and teach them how to fly. That activity is repeated over and over each year. They stay constantly together, never separating.

When one dies, the mate grieves to the point where there is no longer a desire to live and eats poisonous baneberries to end its life.

Such is the case with people that are so deeply in love—one does not want to live without the other.

1

John Austin's life has been devastated by two tragic events. His beloved cousin, Mark, was murdered in Mexico. The wife he worshipped, Millie, was killed in an accident in Mexico. Her death ended a honeymoon of thirty-two years.

*****

It was Maria Margarita Garcia's day to go to Millie's house to check on things there. She had been going every six or seven days. This time, for various reasons, it was ten days. She was not concerned. She had always found the place secure. There was never any mail except junk. It was not time to refill the hummingbird feeder or to water the cactus.

So she started her day casually by first going to 1355 Sunset Road to have coffee with Ellie and play with the cat, Romeo II. When she did finally arrive at 2021 Parson's Green, she was surprised to find the front door unlocked.

Did I do that? she muttered to herself.

She took two steps inside and was startled to see a man lying on the sofa. She backed up and put her hand on the knob, ready to flee. She took a long look. The man badly needed a shave and a haircut. He looked sick. He spoke to her.

Hello, Maria.

John? Oh, John, you look horrible. Where is Mille?

She has left me.

"Impossible! Why are you saying that?"

See that small chest on the mantle? She is inside.

"My god! What are you saying? What has happened?"

Maria, she had an accident. She is dead.

"Oh, how horrible. Oh, John, I am so sorry."

He closed his eyes. She came close to him. He smelled bad.

How long have you been home?

I don't know.

Have you been eating?

There is nothing here to eat.

John, get up. Go take a shower. Put on clean clothes. I will get something for you to eat.

He got up slowly and trudged to the bathroom. She went to the kitchen. There was an opened can of Spam and a spoon. He had eaten out of the can. She left to find a grocery.

She thought to herself, He is badly undernourished and dehydrated. I feel so sorry for him.

*****

John took a long soapy shower. The first in two weeks. It began to revive him. He started recalling things about his return home. In Mexico, he had received written permission from the government to have Millie cremated and her ashes to be removed from the country. Her ashes had been placed in a small beautiful walnut chest. He had carried the chest in his arms or lap from San Miguel to Queretaro and on the flight home. When he arrived at 2021 Parson's Green, he asked the taxi driver to carry his luggage inside. He carried only the chest and put it on the fireplace mantle.

He had returned with extra luggage. There was his suitcase and carry-on and Mark's carry-on with Mark's briefcase inside. Millie's empty suitcase had her empty carry-on, purse, and the Maria doll inside. He had given all her clothing to the girl at the desk at Chimenea Casa. He had retrieved all of Millie's pesos and dollars and put them in her purse alongside her passport, bank statement, and checkbook. After the taxi driver left, he collapsed on the sofa and had been in seclusion until Millie had come in this morning.

He put on clean clothing from the skin out. While shaving, he began to feel extremely hungry. He heard Maria in the kitchen. He went there. She was taking things from grocery sacks and putting them away. When she saw him, she poured a glass of orange juice and told him to drink it. He did. She poured a glass of milk and told him to drink it. He did.

John, I will start a pot of coffee. Take a seat at the breakfast table, and I will bring you a cup.

Maria, it is great that you are doing this for me, but don't you have other obligations?

I called my husband and explained the circumstances and that I would be here for a while. I need to stay here until you are well fed. You smell a lot better now and look a lot better with the shave and clean clothes. You need to get a haircut the first time you are out.

While he was having coffee, she fixed a breakfast for him—three fried eggs, three sausage patties, and buttered toast. She poured another glass of milk and another glass of orange juice, refilled his coffee cup, and gave him some instructions.

John, I want you to drink the milk and juice and finish the coffee. Drink a lot of water today. If you want a dessert, I brought bananas and put some ice cream in the freezer.

She took care of the mail, checked the hummingbird feeder and cactus, and told John goodbye. Before she left the house, she took a long look at the chest on the mantle. In her car, her thoughts were on Millie. She suddenly felt weak. She started crying.

*****

After following Maria's instructions, he felt overstuffed. He went to the sofa to take a nap. Sleep did not come. He had slept a lot lately. He felt his energy coming back and decided to move about some. He went outside. He saw that the grass was being kept mowed and the trimming being done. He had not made any arrangements for this. It was something Maria had taken care of. He owed her for that and for a lot more. He owed her a bundle but had found it difficult to get her to accept money. He needed to find some way to pay her.

He walked all the way around the house and then opened the overhead garage door. Both cars looked okay. He got in his. It started. He let it run a little while. He would need to do the same to Millie's car, but he did not have her keys. He knew he could find them in her purse. He would do that later. He needed to sell that car. It was one of the many reminders of Millie that he had to dispose of. He closed and locked the garage door and went back to the house.

He had never unpacked the luggage. Now would be a good time to do that. He started with his suitcase. He put all the clean stuff away and carried the soiled things to the laundry room. He did the same with his carry-on. He had previously pulled out his toilet articles case and had put those things away in the bathroom.

He remembered what Maria had told him about drinking water, so he went to the kitchen, filled a tall glass, and took a chair at the breakfast table. He needed a break from the unpacking, but he instantly spotted another chore to do when he saw the empty dishes from breakfast. He was finding many things needing to be done. The unpacking, dishwashing, starting Millie's car. From this point on, he would always be busy. He would be doing the things that Millie had always taken care of. He finished the water and returned to the unpacking.

He opened Millie's suitcase and removed her empty carry-on, her purse, and the Maria doll. He needed to give that doll to Maria. He opened Millie's purse and took out her car keys. The doorbell rang. Through the peephole, he saw a pretty blonde woman. He opened the door.

She smiled and asked, Is Millie here?

No.

My name is Claire. I am a friend of Millie. I can drop by later. Tell her I came by. She turned and walked away. She was almost to the street before he could react. He called to her, Please come back. Come inside. I need to tell you about Millie.

When she was seated, he started. Claire, I know who you are. Millie mentioned you many times. She considered you a dear friend.

I am afraid you have bad news about Millie.

Yes, she has passed away.

"Oh, this is so unexpected. She always seemed to be in very good health."

Claire. It was an accident.

I am very sorry. You have my deepest sympathy. Thanks for calling me back and telling me about Millie. I will go now, but I will be checking back with you to see if I can be of any help.

No need to check back. I know where you live. I am not bashful when I need help.

She was almost to the street again when he had an idea and called her back. Do you need any luggage?

Yes, I do, but what made you think of that?

I will show you. This suitcase and carry-on were Millie's. I have no need for them. Can you use them?

Yes, they are lovely. I can certainly use them.

I believe you are walking. I will get out my car and take you and the luggage to your house.

That may not be necessary. They look light. She lifted them. They are very light. I can carry them. Thank you very much.

Well, be careful and have a good day.

He went back to the unpacking. He opened Mark's carry-on. It held only Mark's briefcase and a yellow guayabera shirt Millie had salvaged from Mark's clothing. He hung it in his closet; he might wear it someday. He put the empty carry-on in the spot where Millie had always stored luggage. He had already put his carry-on and suitcase there. There was plenty of room for luggage now that Millie's suitcase and carry-on were gone. As to the unpacking, only Mark's briefcase and Millie's purse remained. Both held a lot of very interesting items, especially the briefcase. He already had removed Millie's car keys. He would not take anything else from her purse now. He put it on a closet shelf where she always kept it. He planned to spend a lot of time browsing through Mark's briefcase later. He would not tackle that today.

He went to the kitchen for a glass of water. While sipping water, he also washed the coffeepot and got it ready for tomorrow morning. He cleared the kitchen table and carried the dirty dishes to the sink. That was as far as he would go today. He kept hearing an Oklahoma hamburger calling his name.

This was a good opportunity to start Millie's car and let it run for a while. It started. He backed it out and drove away. He remembered Maria's instructions about the haircut, so he decided he would do that before the hamburger. He went to the same shop where he had always gone. A small shop. Only one barber: Earl. He had been cutting John's hair since he was a boy. He received the same haircut as always. They discussed old times. John was glad that Earl did not ask about Millie.

He went to the burger joint that served Oklahoma-style hamburgers. He ordered a Coke and one burger, no fries because Millie did not like for him to eat French-fried potatoes. Halfway through with his burger, he motioned for the waitress and ordered a second burger.

*****

A couple of days later, Maria called. John, I go to Ellie's house frequently to visit, have coffee, and play with the kitten. I plan to go there tomorrow morning. Would you like to join us?

I don't normally go to hen parties, but I will make an exception this time because I have something I want to give you.

Great. Is ten okay for you?

Ten works for me. See you then.

A few minutes after ten the next morning, he arrived at 1355 Sunset Road. He left the Maria doll in his car, choosing to get the greetings over first to break the ice. Maria answered the door with Romeo II in her arms. Ellie was with her. John got hugs from both of them, and Millie handed the kitten to him.

Romeo II has really grown since I last saw him. Ellie, do you still call him a kitten?

Yes, but I will admit that he is a big kitten. Come to the table, John. The coffee is ready.

He turned the cat over to Maria and took a chair at the table. Ellie poured him a cup of coffee. He took a sip and started looking around.

Ellie, you have curtains that Mark never had. You have this place looking very, very nice. It is just like a dollhouse.

Thank you. Art and I love it. Little Romeo loves it also.

Maria, I mentioned that I would be bringing something for you today.

Yes, but I don't see anything. I was worried, thinking maybe you forgot it.

I need to go back to my car for it.

He brought the Maria doll in. It was still wrapped in the several layers of soft tissue; the salesgirl at the museum gift shop had done that. Maria hurriedly unwrapped it.

"Oh, what a lovely doll. I have never seen one like this. It must be unique. Where did you find it? Mexico?"

Millie bought it for you in Queretaro. It has your name. It is a Maria doll.

Are they common in Mexico?

No. I want you to know the background of the Maria dolls. It is a long story. We first heard about Queretaro from you. We not only passed through there on our way to San Miguel, we returned there to do some sightseeing. We learned a lot about the city and its history. It was founded about AD 300 or 400 by the Otami people. They invented and made Maria dolls. Only one or two of the originals survived. They are priceless.

I can tell this one is brand-new.

Yes. There are descendants of the Otami still living in and around Queretaro. Some of them make their living by making and selling Maria dolls that are very close replicas of the originals.

I love it. I will treasure it forever.

You are a lucky girl, said Ellie. I will refill the coffee cups.

Maria, there is another thing I want to talk to you about. I need help at my house. Can you come there one day each week?

What would I do there?

The very same things you did for my cousin, Mark.

I can do that. What day of the week?

Any day that is convenient for you. A different day each week is okay. Also, if you want to skip a week, it will not be a problem.

John, I will be happy to help you. I will always call you the day before I come.

*****

A few days later, John heard a lawn mower outside. He looked out and saw Francisco Vega mowing his grass. This caused a problem for John. He knew that Francisco did not speak English, but he wanted to tell him to stop coming there because he wanted to do his own yard work. He started looking for Vega's phone number. He found it and dialed. While it was ringing, he thought of one other matter he needed to discuss. When Vega's wife answered, John said, This is John Austin at 2021 Parson's Green. Your husband is here mowing my lawn.

I know.

I have been gone for a while, and Francisco has been here several times. Has Maria Garcia been paying you?

No, we told her you could pay when you got back.

Please tell me the total amount including today.

Just a minute.

When she came back, he copied the amount and said, Mrs. Vega, now that I am back, I will be doing my own yard work. Francisco doesn't need to come here anymore.

Okay.

He wrote the check and waited for Vega to turn the mower off. When he did, John went outside. Vega smiled and nodded. John gave him the check and ten dollars in cash. Vega seemed happy. John offered his hand. They shook.

*****

John had been eating all his meals out, primarily because it got him out of the house. The house bothered him. Everything he saw or touched reminded him of Millie. She was on his mind constantly when he was in the house. He even dreamed about her. Nothing bad, only sweet dreams. Some seemed so real that he would wake up believing she was there. He would call her name before he quickly returned to reality. He could not go back to sleep. He would get up and make a pot of coffee. He would drink coffee until the cafés were open for breakfast.

One morning he was in his car, going to breakfast, not knowing where. He did not have any certain place he preferred. There were a lot of breakfast places, all very much alike. He got the same thing every morning: bacon and eggs. He would add fried potatoes if they had them. If not, he would add biscuits and gravy.

He spotted a café he had not been to before. Somewhat larger than most. He decided to try it. A sign told him to seat himself, so he did.

A girl came over, pitched a menu on the table, said, My name is Agnes. I will be your waitress, and then walked away. He saw that she had one side of her nose pierced with a metal ring in it. Repulsive. Maybe he should go somewhere else to eat. He saw another waitress and motioned for her. I would like for you to be my waitress.

You will need to move to one of my tables. She pointed to one. He moved. He liked the looks of his new waitress. No ugly nose. He told her he was ready to order. After hearing his order of eggs over medium, with bacon, white dry toast, and fried potatoes, she asked him, Coffee?

No, I have already had a pot of coffee this morning. Please bring a mug of hot chocolate and a glass of water.

While he was having breakfast, his mind was on two things which he had been thinking a lot about lately. One was about Millie's car. He was reminded of Millie every time he went to the garage. He did not need the car. He needed to sell it.

The other thing on his mind was how to pay Maria. He owed her a lot. It was difficult to know how much. She would not help with that. It was going to be frustrating to pay her. He didn't know how much to pay, and she would keep refusing money for various reasons. He must pay her because that was what Millie wanted.

His waitress returned and refilled his mug. He asked her name and she replied, Rachel. He had known several Rachels before. This was one of the prettiest. Blonde hair. No piercings. No tattoos.

His mind returned to his previous thinking, and suddenly he had an idea. If he could get Maria to accept Millie's car for payment, it would kill two birds with one stone. It might work. Maria's