The Shallow End of the Dating Pool: A Compilation of Misadventures in Dating

By Stacey Shope, Michele Underhill and Rebecca Hamilton

About the Book
The Shallow End of the Dating Pool compiled many dating stories meant to amuse, entertain, and show the lighter side of dating as a middle-aged woman in the 21st century. These adventures are based on true stories shared by friends of over 30 years. They are a group of divorced women chasing the fantasy of finding a “soulmate”. Instead, they find that having close friends to share a cold drink and lots of laughter with is more realistic and much better for the soul.
This book is based on true stories, with names changed to protect anonymity.

About the Author
After earning a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice administration, Stacey Shope spent six years working in the trenches with troubled youth in a community-based treatment program that addressed the whole family. She then moved to the county juvenile probation office where she helped develop one of the first juvenile drug treatment courts in the state. During her 17 years there, she earned a master’s degree in administration of justice. Currently, she is a drug and alcohol counselor in a methadone clinic where the clientele consists of individuals struggling with opiate addiction, primarily heroin. Throughout her professional career, she has realized that humor acts as a pathway to connect with others. Shope’s daughter, Madison, continues to invest in her community by working with struggling adolescent females in a treatment facility. Her style and humor help her navigate concerns and help her clients progress.
Michele Underhill welcomed Shope as a new student when she entered her school as an 11th grader. Unknowingly, they became friends for life. After working jobs that were unfulfilling, she became a non-traditional student as she earned her nursing degree later in life. She often wears her heart on her sleeve in hopes she will find her happily ever after. Her naivety and small-town upbringing lead to comical stories that always result in gut-splitting laughter.
Shope’s longtime friend (and college roommate) Rebecca Hamilton has shared similar experiences as a teacher in the public school system. Her stories of teaching in a rural farming community, where everyone’s known by their cattle, are second to none. And if that wasn’t enough, raising four children (two older sons, Kyle and Jonathan, and two teenage daughters, Pam and Lilly) will have you laughing to keep from crying with daily amusements such as packing two different sneakers at a cross country meet and other world-crashing incidents.
As divorced women, we bond, encourage, and comfort each other like all women should.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dorrance Publishing Company
• Release date: Jul 13, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887299013

Book preview

The Shallow End of the Dating Pool

This book is a compilation of dating experiences meant to amuse, entertain, and encase the lighter side of dating as a middle-aged woman in the twenty-first century. These adventures are based on the reality of dating stories of my best friends with whom I each share over thirty years of friendship. We are a group of divorced or otherwise single woman chasing the fantasy of finding a soulmate but realizing that having close friends to share a cold drink and lots of laughter with is more realistic and better for the soul. The names in this book have been changed to maintain anonymity.

Political Pete

After being married/in a relationship for twenty-six years, I was newly single for almost two years. Although I had explored various dating sites (technology’s way of allowing a man to reject you over the computer rather than in person), I had not signed up for any one of them, mostly because I’m too cheap. After mentioning this during a gathering with my friends, I was surprised about a week later when I received an email from a popular dating site indicating that Pete liked me and sent a message. After doing my research, I discovered one of my friends had set up a profile, including pictures of me. I read the profile and was pretty flattered. I thought, Hell, I’d date me.

Before reading any messages, I decided to explore the site, since I was unsure how it actually worked. It had men that it recommended to me due to mutual interests and commonalities. I started scrolling, when lo and behold I almost spit out my iced tea as I viewed my first potential match. It was my brother. Looking back, I guess it makes sense because we were raised together and have similarities. I immediately called my mom and asked her if she knew my brother was divorced (again). She stated, yes, and I quickly added that he also lies about his age. Thankfully she didn’t ask how I found out.

I read the message from Pete, which was generic, something along the lines of, Hello, would you like to chat?

Aside from being pessimistic, I am overly cautious - not that it is a bad thing. As a matter of safety with my friends prior to going on a date, they must submit the individual’s name and age so that I can run a background check (this will come into play in another misadventure in dating).

I engaged in basic conversation with Pete over the next few weeks and eventually graduated to phone calls. We hit it off based on professional experiences. I had been a probation officer for almost two decades and he had recently retired from the transit authority monitoring the Holland Tunnel in New York. We often laughed and traded stories of clients that fall in the realm of you can’t make this shit up.

After about a month, we decided we would meet up and see if there was a physical connection as well. Although he lived about an hour and a half away, I often traveled for my second job, so I was familiar and comfortable with his area. We had mutually agreed to meet at a popular local hiking area on an early afternoon one Saturday. As I am almost to the parking lot of the hiking area, he calls stating that he just received a call that his mom fell and he needed to go check on her even though she said she was ok. At that point I thought, What a nice son, and we agreed to meet at a local pub not far from his house in an hour and a half. He lived near a casino where I frequented to spend free play when I worked in the area. I swung by to try my luck at the slots and, as always, walked out with less than I entered with.

As I was nearing my car to head off to the pub, Pete called. He said he had to help his mom with groceries and was again running behind schedule. Since the pub was a few blocks from his place and had limited parking (I was aware of this from previous visits), he thought it might be easier to meet at his house and drive over in one vehicle. I agreed and volunteered to drive to the pub. I arrived at his house and he invited me in. It was a clean and nicely kept place and he offered me a beer, which I gladly accepted. I followed him into the kitchen to watch him get two bottles of beer from the refrigerator and open them (I like to physically witness this because, like most of America, I watch too many true crime shows).

As I turned to follow him back into the living room, I noticed a political sign. I’m not talking about a two-foot by three-foot yard sign, I’m literally staring at a six-foot by eight-foot sign that was half the size of a billboard with the candidate’s face and political party in his kitchen leaning against the wall. Due to all that had been going on in the years leading up to this pending election (2020), our country appeared divided by political