Behind the Smile: Is Life and Life

By Stella Nonhlanhla Mkiliwane

About the Book
Behind the Smile is based on true stories of overcoming adversity and turning bad situations into hopeful ones just by a change of attitude. While you may be disgruntled by trials, be it health or life in general, if you change your perspective, you can transform a negative situation into a positive one by using whatever you’re going through to affirm your faith and trust in God and that he allows this into your life for your own good. It’s like turning lemons into lemonade.
These stories show nothing in life is permanent, whether it’s a desert or oasis part of the journey. No matter what you’re going through, if you hold on, it will soon pass. There’s an abundance of unmerited favor in God’s storehouse with your name on it. You just need to ask!

About the Author
Stella Nonhlanhla Mkiliwane volunteers for the International Rescue Committee as a mentor for her Zimbabwean and other African communities. She has also served as vice president of ZAWAC (Zimbabwe Adventist Women Abroad Conference) Texas from 2021–2023. She is an international development specialist, systemic family therapist, and a Christian. Mkiliwane enjoys traveling and farming and gardening and is intrigued by politics and religion. She is a mother of four, two biological and two adopted, who have already made her a proud grandmother.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dorrance Publishing Company
• Release date: Jul 19, 2023
• ISBN: 9798889256854

Book preview

About the Title

My nickname by some teachers when I started high school was ‘ever smiling’ and even though sometimes I tried to put up a serious face, it never lasted. So, I giggled a lot growing up and was surprised that even now, my friends say I have ‘a giggle’. Laughing is my best medicine and I’ll give anything to manage a laugh no matter what. Conflict and negativity dry my bones and I do all I can to avoid them.

Everyone who knows me says I’m always smiling, and some say they wonder how I’m able to keep the smile when I’m going through a storm. I treasure this smile because the moment I smile, it brings back hope and possibilities. God takes over and I’m unstoppable as I remember whose I am and that I’m God’s masterpiece, fearfully and wonderfully made, who doesn’t look like where I’ve been. And so,

I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. O taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him Psalm 34:1,8

A special tribute to my late Mom Agnes Ncube nee Manikwa fondly called ‘Agie’ or ‘MaGumbo’ per her totem meaning ‘foot’. My prayer warrior, best friend, mentor, and cheerleader, who instilled in me a fulfilling life of prayer, bravery and trusting God especially when it doesn’t make sense. Her early untimely death was a family tragedy that tore us all apart and life has never been the same no matter how hard we keep trying to fill the void she left, as we cherish the precious memories.

and

My late Dad Mackson Ncube, fondly called ‘Meki’, an amazing father who taught us the value of family, heritage, hard work, bravery, and most of all, to know our personal value and never compromise. Forever missed but always in our hearts.

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Meki and Agie Ncube

This book is dedicated to my bundles of love, Thamsanqa ‘Thami’ and Nothabo ‘Nono’. No matter where life takes you, always remember that God’s grace is always right there with you and continues to pursue you. Let God be your first port of call in everything, as this book will show His unfailing love, unmerited favor, and deliverance over your lives. You may remember part of your journeys; I’m writing this to fill in some gaps, as God has preserved your lives in spectacular ways. Fully surrender, submit, and depend only on Him. Do not settle for mediocre!

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Thami and Nono

Special thanks

with humility to:

My dearest paternal Aunt Sbo (Sibongile Mpofu)! Always there, enduring every bit of these hectic journeys with me and allowing me to dump it all on you to help me cope. Your love strengthens me!

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Aunt Bongie

My Friends

My invaluable and formidable friends, I can write a book about you all - you just humble me! Tumi Akande, Eunice Douglas, Bimbola Faminu, Stella Osoro, Eve Chidongo, Gracie Arizaga, Purity Keraro, Lerlynn Parks, Camille Carryl, Praxedes Jeremiah (PJ), Angel Mtazu, Ellen Muchena (UK), Leona Mugabe (ZW) and, Bongie Ncube, Ntombi Mashaba and Mpilo Shange-Buthane (RSA). Love you girls!

Medical Teams

Methodist Richardson and The Liver Institute at Methodist Dallas, namely, Dr Ashwini Mehta, Dr Jeffrey Weinstein, Ms. Anne Ward, PA, all the ICU nurses and all other team members for all the fight you put in to save my little girl!

Acts Two SDA Church Family in Plano, Texas, USA

Grateful to my entire church family for all the love, formidable support, prayers, the fun times, and everything that comes with worshipping together. It’s not just been church for us, but amazing friendships and family. May God continue making it the best church in the Metroplex as our Pastor will say!

Orange Grove SDA Church and the Prayer Band, in Johannesburg, South Africa

What an amazing journey we had, the great friendships built along the way, nurturing kids as they grew, especially Uncle Meh and Aunt MaNya – Mehluli and Adelaide Moyo who would leave their home sometimes for as long as two months to come and live in mine taking care of my babies while I travelled for school or work. What an invaluable gift, I’m forever grateful and in your debt for such love beyond measure. Ntombi Mashaba and Bongie Ncube and their spouses who kept threatening to do an all-night vigil at my house till I got a husband. Sis Stha and Bro Liberty Ndlovu who treated me as a sister and have stayed in touch keeping me encouraged whenever tragedy struck. The Orange Grove Church Prayer Band for staying in touch and interceding for us in our journey even when we’ve moved.

Under His Wings Prayerline (US)

Thank you, Sisa Ncube and Team, for your amazing ministry and tireless all-round support since 2019. May God let your cups run over.

Ntombi Zokukhanya Prayer Group (US)

Thank you, PJ and team, for stepping in and tirelessly praying with me, your support is invaluable. May God expand and sustain your ministry.

Chapter 1

Where it all began

I was delivered in a rural area, around 3 am on a Friday, in a smoky round mud hut thatched roof kitchen with fire used as lighting. My late paternal grandmother Laiza Sibanda ‘Gog’ (Granny) uMabhatshi (jackets/coats) and my aunt, my mom’s sister, Jessie Manikwa ‘Vakoma (Sister) Jessie’ as they were fondly called, were the midwives. Gog’ uMabhatshi was so unprepared and beyond her depth as she had never delivered a baby, but my mom said she had planned it that way. An interesting way to bond with your mother-in law, right? Apparently, she loved her too much when she was expecting me, so she wanted my delivery to be their special moment. This was the third home delivery for my mom, so she was quite experienced by now.

I was therefore called ‘Mabhatshi’, which was my grandmother’s nickname as apparently in her youthful years she had been popular, wearing long and fancy coats. She must have been funky and quite classy for her time. I loved my paternal grandmother so much and I think my birth story added to my hero-worshipping her. She loved me too and bragged a lot about me even for just fetching water from the river for her when I was visiting. As I grew up and spoilt her when I started working, she couldn’t keep quiet either as she would show off to her brother, Grandpa/Khulu Mtshiseni, threatening not to share her goodies that came from ‘MaTe’, as she fondly called me. She was so beautiful with glowing skin. She did not need to use any lotion on her body and, of course, blessed all her granddaughters with a G-size bust.

I fondly remember her carrying me on her back so many times just to spoil me. Once during the liberation war, she carried me on her back to the clinic when I was sick with measles and bathed in the river on the way. The funny part is that when we saw an army truck approaching, she had to put dust all over herself to look like a useless old woman who posed no trouble. Gog ‘uMabhatshi only had three boys, so I was a special delivery and gift to her from my mom so she could experience having a baby girl. I spent most of my childhood and school holidays with her as I was growing up and therefore, was naturally spoilt. My dad called me ‘Mabhatshi’ or ‘MaNcu’ (short for our totem Ncube), so whenever he called me by my full name, I was in trouble.

When the whole family visited Gog’ uMabhatshi, she would have a goat or few chickens slaughtered for us the moment we arrived, even if for the day. She treated us like royalty, and we really loved visiting her. Even her sweet reeds (imfe - Ndebele/ipwa - Shona) were sweeter than ours at home or any I had ever eaten. Sweet reeds are like sugarcane and popular in Zimbabwe, as they are planted together with maize which is used to produce mealie-meal for our staple food.

Chapter 2

Lower Gwelo TTL (1972)

I grew up in Lower Gwelo/Gweru Tribal Trust Land (TTL), as my brother Forbes likes to call it, at Nyama village under Chief Sogwala, in the Midlands Province of Zimbabwe. This is an area where colonial settlers dumped our parents and grandparents, including many others, after taking away their fertile land.

We were a family of nine, four boys and five girls, that included stepsisters and brothers, namely Leah, Norah, Themba and Thabiso (the twins), Forbes, Shiella, me, Msizi, and Etta. Leah and Thabiso are no more. We were a team that loved each other, fought, connived, plotted, snitched, teased, and laughed a lot. Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve were the best as we partied till dawn, braaiing a whole goat or cow, chicken and so much food. I would not trade that country life for anything. It was a blast! My