Looking For Him

By Clare Bentley

Sometimes a holiday romance evolves beyond your control.

 

A commitment free hook up was all Alexia Klein was looking for. Yet, when she returned home, she discovered she had been left with more than just memories...

 

Determined to give Josh the chance to be a part of the baby's life, she heads back to the beautiful island, hoping to find his whereabouts. The last thing she expected was to bump into him... with his girlfriend in tow.

 

Resigned to not having the happily ever after she wanted, Alexia just wants Josh to be involved with his child. Will he embrace being a father or will circumstances get in the way?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Clare Bentley
• Release date: Sep 8, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223026860

Book preview

ONE

There was comfort in the familiar feel of the sand between Alexia Klein’s toes as she stepped onto the beach. Using her arm to shield her hazel eyes from the bright sun, she looked across the water. The beauty of the crystal blue sea against the golden sand took her breath away, the same way it had the first time. The holiday she had taken here with her friends just a few months ago was meant to be a once-in-a-lifetime trip but had turned into one she was forced to repeat sooner than expected.

When Alexia had last been in this exact spot, she had met a towering Adonis with chestnut hair and heterochromatic eyes—one blue and one green. He was only supposed to be a holiday romance. She never imagined that he would still be having such an impact on her life; in a good way, though. Aside from the memory of him, all that remained of their time together was the baby she carried.

Alexia had tried internet searches at home to find him, but the only information she had was his first name and age. That was why she was back here, hoping the hotel would know how to contact him. He deserved to know he was going to be a father.

She had taken the only availability she could find and paid handsomely for it too. But it would be worth it if she left the island with what she needed.

Not quite ready to leave the magnificent landscape, Alexia headed back to a lounger on the beach and sat down. She wasn’t there to relax and enjoy herself, but she wanted to soak up the stillness and silence around her for just a little while before she put her ever-changing plan to find him into action.

She thought he was a ‘handsome and he knows it’ type, and she didn’t have a good history with men like that. But he had turned out to be exactly what she needed.

Of course, if Alexia had known then what she knew now, she never would have deleted his number. But hindsight was a wonderful thing, and there was nothing she could do to take it back. Instead, she had to settle for returning to the scene of the romance and hope she could find any information the staff had to track him down. It was a long shot, but she had to try for her baby’s sake.

Satisfied with her reintroduction to the island and feeling the effects no sleep and an early flight had on her pregnant body, Alexia made her way back to her room. She had got into the habit of napping at dinnertime so she could get through to hours more suited to her night owl status. It was something she’d only taken to doing since finding out she was growing a person, because along with the morning sickness, she suffered exhaustion too. She was fortunate to have a job as an interior designer that allowed her to choose her own hours—as long as she met her deadlines—so she took advantage of that.

Closing the door to her bright beach-view room, Alexia climbed onto the bed. She lay outstretched on her back and used her fingers to roam over her stomach where her child was growing. She was only four months into her pregnancy and just starting to show, but it was nothing that clothes a size bigger than usual wouldn’t disguise. Only her close friends and family knew about the development in her life; she wanted to keep it as quiet as possible until she was in her second trimester.

A smile formed on her lips when she felt her baby’s movement as if butterflies were fluttering around in her abdomen. It made all the fatigue worth it. Alexia had thought she would do everything right. Meet Prince Charming, get married, and then have children. Life rarely went according to plan, though, so she wasn’t surprised having a baby was first on the list instead of last. She just hoped if she ever found the man that had got her into this predicament that he would want to be involved. Alexia knew she could raise her child alone if she had to—not that she’d ever truly be alone with her best friends, Molly and Andrew, by her side. She just didn’t want to do it without him.

By the time Alexia roused from her nap, it was beginning to get dark. She checked her phone for the time to find she’d missed a text from Molly to confirm her safe arrival, and she instantly sent her a reply to stop her friend from worrying unnecessarily.

Molly had been by her side when she’d done the pregnancy test, and even though there was evidence to the contrary, Alexia refused at first to believe the positive result. They’d been careful—double contraceptive careful—so when she’d missed a period, the possibility hadn’t even occurred to her. It was only when she didn’t have a second that she’d taken a trip to the pharmacy. Molly had insisted on it. The wait for the results had been the longest three minutes of her life, and she still couldn’t believe the outcome.

Alexia had also felt a twinge of guilt for getting pregnant so easily, when Molly and her husband, Andrew had been through so many miscarriages and disappointing negative tests. But, despite her own difficulties getting pregnant, Molly had been nothing but supportive since finding out about the baby, and Alexia knew it must have been challenging for her friend to be happy for her.

That was when they’d concocted this plan for Alexia to find Josh. Remembering a throwaway conversation about the groom’s plans to honeymoon on the island three months later, Alexia hoped to get lucky and fly there at the same time as them. It was a long shot, but she had to try something to find Josh somehow. If Scott wasn’t here, Alexia didn’t know what her next step would be.

TWO

Alexia’s reflection betrayed her as she looked in the full-length mirror of her beachfront room and turned to scrutinise every angle of her figure. She was as unconvinced by the suitability of this outfit as she had been of the previous one. The bright red dress she wore clung to her petite, curvy frame as if it had been made especially for her. It exposed enough cleavage that she wasn’t giving away the goods for free and sat just above her knee, guaranteeing it would pass the resort eveningwear dress code. She even liked the colour because it complimented her pale complexion. But she still wasn’t sure this was the outfit. It was the seventh she’d tried on, and each one had merits, yet she found something wrong with each of them. Too short, too exposing, too clingy, too see-through… the list went on. This dress was the first one she had put on that she was comfortable in, and she was worried that ‘comfortable’ meant she wasn’t making enough of an effort.

By the time Josh knocked at her door, Alexia was physically ready, having made peace with her dress choice, but she was still having doubts about whether she was emotionally prepared. After all, it had only been three months since her break-up. Although she wasn’t looking for anything serious this soon after the end of her last relationship, this was the perfect opportunity to have a holiday romance that led to nothing more.

Opening the door of her room just enough to see out, Alexia smiled. ‘Right on time,’ she said, stepping back and extending the gap, silently inviting him inside.

Josh walked in and closed the door behind him. ‘Well, my father always told me to never keep a beautiful woman waiting.’

‘Your father is a smart man.’ She picked up her mobile phone from the bed and shoved it into the small handbag she’d retrieved from the same place.

‘Yes, he is. He also taught me to give a woman a compliment, no matter how small, because she should always know how amazing she looks...’

She cut him off before he could give her any accolades. ‘That’s not necessary.’

‘You don’t like compliments, do you?’

She smiled. Her discomfort must have been obvious somehow. ‘They make me feel awkward. I never know how to respond.’

‘Well, I don’t want to embarrass you, but I can’t promise to not tell you how beautiful you are or how amazing you look.’

The date wasn’t like any Alexia had been on previously. Josh was quite the conversationalist. He didn’t offer any real information about himself, and in turn, she didn’t give any about herself. She knew the chances of this extending past their holiday were slim, so she was quite content to shoot the breeze with him.

As soon as they reached the beach on their walk back to her room, Alexia kicked off her shoes to feel the sand beneath her feet and bent to hook two fingers around the heel straps to carry them. She planned to take every opportunity to be barefoot while she was here because it was liberating.

‘Who are you here with?’ she asked as they started walking.

‘Friends I grew up with. Eight of us booked a lads’ holiday, and when my buddy Scott popped the question to his missus, we decided to make it a stag trip. You?’

‘I’m here with my best friend and her husband.’

‘And they don’t mind you being their third wheel?’

Alexia laughed. ‘I’ve been third-wheeling since the day they met thirteen years ago. I think it’s expected now.’ As if a switch had flicked, the amusement dropped from her face, and her voice turned sombre. ‘I just thought a change of scenery was in order for all of us.’

‘Sounds serious.’ When she didn’t offer any explanation, he added, ‘I’ve been told I’m a good listener.’

She sighed. She didn’t relish the idea of sharing her failed relationship with a stranger, but it would be rude not to explain when he’d been so nice. ‘It’s been three months since the man I was seeing told me he didn’t want anything long-term, after six-months together.’

A small grin played on his lips. ‘Well, it’s hard to be mad at him on your behalf when he did me a huge favour.’

‘Oh, yeah. And what favour is that?’

He looked coy, as if he was about to spill a secret. ‘If he hadn’t given you a reason to break up with him, you wouldn’t be here.’

His line was cheesy, but she swore she felt her heart swell. ‘That’s quite the silver lining you’ve found there.’

‘It’s a gift.’ Josh shrugged. ‘And what about your friends?’

Alexia exhaled to prepare to tell a truth that wasn’t hers to share. ‘For six years, they’ve been trying to have a baby, and each time, it hasn’t ended well. Two weeks ago, at eighteen weeks pregnant, she found out her baby had no heartbeat. It hit them hard, and it’s put so much pressure on them. I just think they need to get back to having sex for fun.’

‘Ah, sex for fun,’ he repeated as if it were a distant memory.

Alexia laughed. ‘Has it been a while?’

Josh turned the attention back on her. ‘How long has it been for you?’

She groaned. ‘Honestly, sex has never really been just for fun for me. I’ve always been emotionally invested by the time I let a man into my bed, and that’s been to my detriment. It’s a habit I’m trying to break.’

Alexia saw his shoulders fall. Maybe expecting that he only wanted a fling was a mistake on her part. But that was what men did on a lads’ holiday, wasn’t it?

Walking along the beach, Alexia and Josh were close enough that, occasionally, the back of their hands would touch. It caused a jolt of excitement to course through Alexia’s body, and it had been a long time since she’d felt that. Even with her last boyfriend, there was no spark to speak of. It made her glad she had been forced into keeping the date by her best friend.

‘You know, tonight is perfect for skinny dipping,’ Josh said out of the blue.

Alexia immediately searched their surroundings. ‘Except we’re not alone on this stretch of beach.’

He looked off into the distance as he started to strip. ‘They’re miles away.’

The mere suggestion of taking off her clothes in front of someone she was hoping to sleep with outside of a darkened room was enough to bring her out in hives. But the idea of doing it out in the wild where other people could see her naked was pushing those boundaries even further. ‘You’re crazy! I’m not taking off my clothes.’

He stood topless in front of her. ‘Oh, c’mon. Where’s your sense of adventure?’

Though there was some definition to his abdomen, it wasn’t as chiselled as she’d been trained to expect from celebrity crushes growing up. The trail of hair starting at his belly button drew her gaze as she followed it downward until it disappeared into the waistline of his chinos.

Josh’s voice snapped her focus back to his face. ‘Are you coming?’

Alexia considered his idea. It wasn’t usually something she would entertain, but he had a way of making it sound enticing. ‘I must be mad,’ she muttered, dropping her bag and shoes to the sand before grabbing the hem of her dress and lifting it over her head.

Unzipping his trousers, Josh slid them down to his ankles as Alexia unhooked her bra. She removed one arm from the garment to cover her modesty as she freed her boobs from their support and then dropped it to her feet with her dress.

Sliding his thumbs beneath the elasticated waist of his boxers in preparation, Josh smiled at her. ‘Are you ready to get naked?’

‘That’s hardly fair because I’m already practically naked.’

He made his eyebrows dance suggestively. ‘Yes, you are. There’s just one item to go.’

‘For the record, there are better ways to get me out of my clothes, if that’s what you wanted.’

He lessened the distance between them. ‘Hopefully, we’ll have time for that too,’ he said softly, leaning closer to kiss her tenderly.

Snaking her arms up to rest around his neck, Alexia allowed his tongue into her mouth, which deepened the kiss. Her whole body tingled with unexplored possibilities as her fingers ran through his hair.

Her every sense was consumed by the touch of his lips as he shifted closer to press his frame against hers. She moved her arm to attain skin-to-skin contact and swore she felt movement in his boxers. But it had been a while since she’d been this close to a man; she couldn’t be sure if she’d imagined it. She wanted him to kiss her all night. He pulled her in even closer. She wanted him to take her right then and there. To rip off the flimsy lacy knickers she wore and bury his full length inside her. But she wanted to wait. Even though she wasn’t expecting to see him after the holiday, she had a certain standard she held herself to. She wanted to make sure he was the nice guy he purported to be, and not just trying to get in her knickers for a bit of locker-room fodder with his buddies.

THREE

Alexia walked into the open-air restaurant where she had her first date with Josh feeling deflated. Her attempt to get any information about him from the front desk had been unsuccessful. She had tried when she first arrived, only to be shot down. But seeing someone new on reception as she was going past, she tried again, to no avail. She had also asked if Scott and his wife were staying there but had been told that wasn’t information they could share either. Her only recourse was to visit one of the restaurants and hope the bride and groom would come up for air to recharge with food—and that she’d picked the right one.

Alexia’s head swivelled as she headed to the bar, looking for any familiar faces. There were none. She ordered a mocktail with a sandwich that she could take back to her room and took a seat on a stool in the almost empty eatery.

‘Are you waiting for someone?’ the tanned female beside her asked.

‘No. I’m here alone,’ Alexia responded. ‘You?’

The dark-haired woman smiled as she nursed her own drink. ‘I’m waiting for my boyfriend. He takes longer to get ready than I do. When I