Listen, Poems on being Gay, Bipolar, and Alive

By Andres Fragoso Jr

Listen, Poems on being Gay, Bipolar, and Alive

Writing is my Pandora's Box. When I open it up and write, I do not know what hopes come out. Writing is cathartic to me. It helps me let out my frustrations and alleviates my pain. My illness, bipolar, is a chemical in-balance in the brain.

When I was diagnosed with bipolar, the first four or five years flew by without a peaceful moment. I do not remember much about those years, only that I was asleep, lethargic, forgetful, sleeping most of the time, suicidal, manic, depressed, and forgot what else. It was a dark time.

After a while, I started to feel that I had just woken up. I tasted everything for the first time. I saw things in a new way. Life was good. It was re-birthing for me. I could not keep Hope bottled up. I let it out.

In the interim, I went to therapy, and fortunately, I got something good out of it, Journaling and poetry. I wrote my feelings, fears, desires, and how I wanted to kill myself, contrasting them with how I wanted to live.

I found a website where members would critique your poems. They wanted to publish a few of my poems. I submitted my first poem, "My Vanessa, My Butterfly." A poem dedicated to my sister, who never gave up on me.

Someone had mentioned combining my stories and publishing them. I did. I combined the best ones, created new ones, dedicated a few, and published them. My first book of poetry is full of errors, bad grammar, and frightening poems. I kept it that way and hoped people would see those poems' underlying illness. They are raw, passionate, and truthful.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Writers Sidekick Publishing
• Release date: May 30, 2022
• ISBN: 9781737220824

Andres Fragoso Jr

Andres Fragoso Jr. is a multifaceted individual, known for his diverse talents as an author, blogger, journalist, mentor, poet, publicist, and more. Born with an innate passion for storytelling, Andres has dedicated his life to creating narratives that delve into the intricacies of the human experience. One of Andres's notable contributions to literature is his exploration of gay fiction, where he skillfully portrays the multifaceted dimensions of human identity. Rather than focusing solely on the challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community, Andres's writing breathes life into characters who navigate a range of obstacles, showcasing the universal struggles and triumphs that define the human condition. Andres Fragoso Jr. has left an indelible mark on the literary landscape, having published a substantial body of work. His portfolio includes both fiction and non-fiction books, which have found homes in various online platforms, anthologies, and publications. Through his captivating storytelling and evocative poetry, Andres has connected with readers around the globe, inviting them to explore the nuances of emotion, love, and resilience. In addition to his prolific writing career, Andres Fragoso Jr. is recognized as a mentor, guiding aspiring writers and creators on their own creative journeys. His commitment to fostering talent and nurturing the next generation of storytellers speaks to his dedication to the literary community. As a publicist, Andres has been instrumental in bringing attention to diverse voices in literature, ensuring that unique and underrepresented stories find their way into the spotlight. His advocacy for inclusivity and representation has had a lasting impact on the literary landscape. With a passion for history, Andres Fragoso Jr. has also assumed the role of a historian, weaving tales that connect the past with the present. Through his exploration of historical narratives, he enriches the understanding of cultures and societies, fostering a deeper appreciation for the tapestry of human history. Andres Fragoso Jr.'s journey is characterized by creativity, compassion, and a relentless commitment to amplifying the voices of those often unheard. As a founder and historian, he continues to shape the literary world and inspire others to embrace the power of storytelling as a force for positive change. Andres is the founder of The Spectrum's Voice.

Book preview

Listen

Listen to me when I cry,

I'm not asking for your opinion or advice,

I'm asking for your shoulder where I can cry,

I'm only asking for a little of your time.

Listen to me when I am depressed,

To yell at me, Get over it! does not help me,

I do not get sick at will. I did not choose to be ill,

I'm asking for your understanding.

Listen to me when I have fears and tears,

To tell me: It’s all in your head does not encourage me,

Yes, it is in my head. That’s why it’s a mental illness,

I have no control over these fears or shedding tears.

Listen to me when I’m in agony,

To tell me: You want attention does not comfort me,

I’m not five years old and don’t need you to scold me,

I need you to comprehend my agonizing pain.

Listen to me when I am depressed,

I’m not asking for attention, and it’s not always in my head,

My illness is real. Real to me, I feel it every day,

Why do you undermine my pain?

Listen to me when I cry,

It hurts me when you don’t listen and ignore my pain,

I am your son, your brother, your nephew,

I am your cousin, your blood, and your friend.

Andres Fragoso, Jr. 2015

I am Andres Fragoso Jr.. However, I go by Andy, Andre, and Andres, but I hate being called Andrew. This year 2015, I will be turning 45. That’s 10 years from when I first published Listen, Poems on being Gay, Bipolar, and Alive. It’s been a challenging decade, let me tell you. Since then, I have grown, learned I can be human, and see people for what they really are. I feel like I’m alive again. As if I am re-born. For the past 5 years, I have tasted for the first time (again) many new flavors, seen new things, and smelled life afresh.

I have learned who to trust, who not to trust, and how to be happy. It’s as if I was in this deep, dark cave with a recluse named Andres, and he wouldn’t let me see the world for how great it is and all that it has to offer.

My circumstances when I wrote this book in 2005 were challenging. I let family walk over me, take me for granted, and allow my so-called friends to do as they wished. I finally woke up and moved back to Las Vegas with my real family one day. Those who are with me through thick and thin. Those who are blood and will do almost anything for me.

I learned that growing up comes with heartaches and more pain. There is no word for what