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    Scared and Stuck - A Support Guide for Leaving an Unhealthy Marriage
    Scared and Stuck - A Support Guide for Leaving an Unhealthy Marriage
    Scared and Stuck - A Support Guide for Leaving an Unhealthy Marriage
    Ebook86 pages1 hour

    Scared and Stuck - A Support Guide for Leaving an Unhealthy Marriage

    By Kris Valenti

    ()

    Read preview
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherScared and Stuck
    Release dateMay 29, 2023
    ISBN9781739049027
    Scared and Stuck - A Support Guide for Leaving an Unhealthy Marriage

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      Book preview

      Scared and Stuck - A Support Guide for Leaving an Unhealthy Marriage - Kris Valenti

      Copyright©2023, by Kris Valenti

      ISBN: 978-1-7390490-2-7 (e-book)

      All Rights Reserved.

      This book or any portion of it may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review, it can be printed for personal use only.

      Dedication

      The book is dedicated to my children, who have been resilient and supportive all through our journey.

      Table of Contents

      INTRODUCTION

      PART 1 –The Reasons We Stay – Why We Feel Stuck

      Why I left my Unhappy Marriage

      Typical Reasons for Not Leaving

      What to Do Now that I Have Decided to Leave

      PART 2 – The Reasons We Need to Leave - Why we aren’t Stuck

      One Shot at Life

      Free Yourself

      The Kids

      Preparing for Divorce

      Co-parenting and Single Parenting

      Finding Healing and Love

      Maintaining a Positive Attitude through Marital Dissolve

      Final Notes

      Key Reminders

      INTRODUCTION

      I had been stuck in a marriage for years, day after day feeling I felt I was just existing instead of living. Of course, it wasn't always like this. When I got married, I was naturally full of hope and faith for our future. It was an exciting time to start the next chapter in my life. Being a wife was going to be a true dream come true for me. Being a wife was something I always wanted. Not everything always works out as planned, sadly. As time passed, my marriage continued to become the nightmare I never asked for, and unfortunately, the mental and emotional abuse took its toll. I felt stuck, suffocated, and by no fault of my own. I had tried everything I could to make things better, but it seemed like the more I tried, the worse things got. Eventually, I understood I couldn't stay in this marriage any longer. It's never easy to leave an unhappy marriage. It can be painful, scary, and stressful, leaving you feeling lost and alone. But it's also a step you have to take to get your life back and find real, true happiness. Getting out of an unhealthy marriage is rarely easy. It can be hard on your heart, hard on your mental health, hard on your emotions, hard on your wallet, and sometimes dangerous. People in unhappy marriages often feel guilty, ashamed, and afraid of leaving, which can make leaving even harder. When people leave an unhappy marriage, they usually have to make a lot of difficult decisions, like whether to stay in the marital home or find a new place to live, how to divide assets and debts, how to co-parent if there are children, and how to deal with the emotional effects of the breakup. In some cases, leaving an unhealthy marriage can also mean dealing with domestic violence, drug abuse, or mental health problems, making the process even more complicated. Truthfully, leaving an unhappy marriage isn't easy, but it's often the result of a new start, a turning point for people to feel good about themselves and be emotionally healthy again. It can be exhausting and severely taxing on your emotions, but with the right help and tools, you can get past the problems and move toward a happier, more satisfying life. I chose to write this book to encourage you. I wanted to make a complete guide for people thinking about leaving an unhealthy marriage or already in the process of separating or divorcing. In these pages, you'll find help on everything from telling if you're in an unhealthy relationship to handling the legal and financial parts of a divorce. But most importantly, you'll find help and encouragement for the emotional journey ahead. I've been in an unhappy, unhealthy marriage, so I know how hard it can be to leave. It's a process that can leave you feeling raw, exposed, and unsure of yourself. But the process can also be empowering and lead to a happier, more satisfying life. I've learned from my experience and other people's that getting out of an unhappy marriage isn't just about leaving a bad relationship. It's also about finding yourself again, getting over the hurt, and learning to love and trust yourself again. So, if you're thinking about leaving an unhappy marriage, I ask you to join me on this journey. Together, we can get through the hard feelings, find the strength to start over and find the happiness we deserve.

      PART 1

      The Reasons We Stay Why We Feel Stuck

      1

      Why I left my Unhappy Marriage

      My story is much like your story. The fear and doubt overwhelmed me for years. I knew I depended on my husband for far too many things, or so I thought, which kept me from leaving him sooner. Marriage was supposed to last forever. It wasn’t supposed to hurt this way. I had dreams of a fairy tale ending, just as you probably did. My fairy tale didn’t include a divorce, it certainly didn’t include me being a single mother, and it didn’t include all the hurt and pain I experienced due to my husband’s actions. My marriage was over within 18 months of it starting. At the 18-month point, I was overwhelmed with being a new mother to a fiery and lively baby girl. During this challenging time, I caught my husband engaging in his first extra-marital affair. Our marriage was over before it really began, all because he needed more attention. It soon became apparent to me that I was stuck in a marriage going nowhere. I started asking myself questions all day, every day: How could he have done this to me, we were only married 18 months? Why did he do this to me, to our family? Was it just this one time that he cheated? Was I not a good wife? How do we repair

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