Have Stake Will Travel

By W. H. Beswick

Chei Duguay comes from a long line of vampire hunters. She is one the few licensed vampire slayers in the country. Which is a good thing since vampires now live among us. The problem is they need blood to live. Not rat blood. Not dog blood. Not cat blood. It has to be human. No self-respecting vampire would drink from a bottle. For this reason Congress passed the Vampire Acts. So Chei can’t just walk up and kill a vampire. She needs a copy of the complaint, the police report, a kill order and a contract. Once she has these. You give money she does the job.
Chei is one the best in the business. Her eyepatch and scars attest to the fact. Killing a vampire is a dangerous job. It becomes even more dangerous when an old foe of her comes to town. She is not fooled by the vampire’s beautiful new look but wonders why the vampire is able to do things only an older vampire can do. One thing she is sure of. Someone is going to die. Hopefully it wouldn't be her.

• Language: English
• Publisher: W. H. Beswick
• Release date: Jun 15, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215629970

W. H. Beswick

Lives in Corvallis Oregon

Book preview

HAVE STAKE WILL TRAVEL

A CHEI DUGUAY NOVEL

By

W.H. BESWICK

Copyright2014@William Beswick

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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CHAPTER ONE

ITS JUST BUSINESS

You are not scared enough, I said studying the computer that was sitting on one corner of my desk. The computer had cost me an arm and leg but the desk was a beat up piece of crap made of steel and wood my old man picked up at a police auction along with the two straight back chairs. The office chair my dad had passed onto me was just as uncomfortable and smelled like too many cops had sat in it. So I traded that in for something a lot more comfy and had a back massage to boot. All this was cramped into a very small corner office with dull white walls and two windows that did give me an excellent view of the Venice Beach Boardwalk. I leaned forward and debated whether Ace High was bluffing or he did he really have that third king.

I’m what?

You’re not scare enough if you were you would be handing me the cash and telling me to get it done, I said realizing I was already down a grand to Ace High. That was my limit. I muttered a curse, folded and logged off. I looked up and gave my full attention to the guy sitting in my office. I even took my feet off the desk and looked over the skinny jerk in the off the rack business blue suit, white shirt and too thin black tie. The suit and shirt looked threadbare from too many cleanings. His wingtips were polished like glass but at least a decade old. I was going to write the guy off until I saw the phone clipped to his J.C. Penny’s belt. It was top off line that was also served as a computer, camera and could play movies. It was the latest thing for businessmen and women on the go. This guy wasn’t poor just cheap and so cheap he was worried about how much it would cost to save his daughter’s life. I ran my unpolished fingernails through my short black curls and smiled. He kept looking around the bare walls and faded green rug.

I don’t put on much of a front. I cut costs wherever I can.

I knew he was trying to not look at my face. It was either the red eye patch or the white scar that ran from the top of my head down across my face over my chin. It continued down my neck and stopped just above my right breast. They were both a constant reminder to not trust a pretty boy vampire ever again. I guess I should tell you that when I was done he wasn’t pretty any more. As matter of fact he was dead. You’re here because I am one the few licensed slayers in the city. Some pretty boy vampire is putting the moves on your sixteen-year-old daughter who probably believes all that stuff she read in those stupid books or saw at the movies. Vampires are not these misunderstood souls who just needed a little love. That’s all crap. The fact is this bloodsucker had no business being on a high school campus. That’s a violation of city, state and federal law. I assume since you are here because you went to the cops.

Yes, but they just told him to leave and he did, he said pulling out a pack of cigarettes but stopped. He gave me a sheepish grin and started to put them back in his pocket. But I know she is still seeing him.

Go ahead, light up, I said taking out a Swisher’s Cherry cigarillo and lit it with the silver lighter my old man gave me when he left me the business. He told me now he was out this high stress life he didn’t need to smoke. I blew out a cloud of blow and savored the sweet taste. My possible client had lit some bargain basement cigarette that smelled like burnt horse dung. This guy was a skinflint when it came to everything but his phone. You got a sixteen-year old in love. He’s Romeo and she’s Juliet. Except Romeo he didn’t turn into a bloodsucking asshole. I can tell you are a self made man who has learned to count his pennies. I respect that. I am businesswoman. And I count my pennies but only when it counts. But right now is not the time to get cheap. I know the cops sent you to me and told you I could get the job done. And I can because this is what I do for a living.

How did you get into this…this work? Did you lose someone?

Sorry, I don’t have some sob story about a loved one being sucked to death. My family has been killing vampires for centuries. I am like the Godfather. It’s nothing personal its just business which why I charge on a sliding scale. My fee covers any traveling expenses and what you want killed. In this case a vampire. He doesn’t sound like a very old vampire or he wouldn’t be trying to seduce a high school girl. The older ones know better. This one is an easy kill so I giving a low ball figure.

That’s low?

It’s not like I work every day. I am entitled to make descent living.

So this fee is not open to negotiation?

Nope, you pay what I ask up front and in cash. So am I going to the prom?

CHAPTER TWO

PROM STAKE

So a few minutes later I was behind the wheel of my five year old Jeep Wrangler. I was heading over the hill to Van Nuys High for the homecoming dance. If you haven’t figured it out I am a vampire slayer not a hunter. I am too lazy for that kind of work. Walking and driving all over city, asking questions and paying people off. It is all too exhausting. I just kill them. Someone gives me a big chunk of money, tells me where I can find them and I go kill the sucker. Usually some pretty boy vampire who is using his good looks to get a young babe in a nice quiet place. He is not going to whisper sweet nothings into her ear. He wants to suck her blood and if he is really hungry suck her dry, which leaves her dead.

It suddenly occurs to me that your education in vampirism maybe lacking. Unless you been in a coma for the last few years, you would know the vampires came into the sunlight so to speak. The undead said they were tired of hiding out in the dark places and just wanted to live in peace with us. Now here is the first problem with that. Vampires need to have blood to live. Not cow blood. Not pig blood but human blood and no self-respecting vampire would drink it from a bottle. They prefer to suck it straight from the neck or some other body part. For those of you with a dirty mind, yes they will suck your blood from there too. Oh just for the record they are not vegetarians and do not have the high morals of Mormons. Some of them do mope around but mostly it’s an act. One last thing they are dead.

Understand dead.

They are dead bodies walking around looking for their next meal which could be you. If you fall for their good looks and believe their sweet talk it will definitely be you.

Sorry, I got off the track there. As I was telling you the vampires came out and people weren’t sure what to do about it. But Congress did. They past a bunch of laws called the Vampire Acts. There are way too many to list but in a nutshell a vampire can own property but only with local approval and that includes the signature of everyone in the neighborhood they wish live. They have to pay taxes but they can’t vote. They are not allowed to be on any kind of campus especially a high school campus. Anybody they feed on must have given their written consent and the document must be notarized with four signatures, human signatures. Even after they sign the humans must get a psyche evaluation. The big one is vampires are not allowed to interact with any one under the age of eighteen without the consent of their parents or legal guardians. Now you may be asking what happens when a vampire breaks the law. That’s where I come in.

My name is Chei Duguay and no I am not Cajun. And as I said I come from a long line of vampire slayers. I do kill more than vampires. I have killed werewolves, ghouls, goblins and zombies. Killing a zombie will cost you because there is the whole cutting off the head, pouring salt into its mouth, sewing it close and burying it in holy ground thing.

People tell me that I don’t look like a vampire slayer. I am little over five eight with curly black hair. I have to say I have a pretty good body but that comes from hours of working out. I would be considered beautiful if you can get past the scar and eye patch which some freaks consider sexy. These same freaks would get a major hard on if they saw me naked. I have a lot of scars and a nice burn mark on my left shoulder. It comes with the job.

I am a licensed by the federal government to slay vampires and any other evil being. But there are rules. I can’t just go out and kill a vampire. I need what we call in the business paper. This paper can consist of several things. It can be a formal complaint with kill attachment for nonpayment of taxes, not registering with V.P.C. That’s the Vampire Population Control agency. The government likes to know how many bloodsuckers are in the country. A vampire can’t pose as student to get close to young people. Well, you get the idea. You break the law they issue a kill order. You gonna love this next part and this why you got to love Congress. They create something call a kill order but no one in the government has the right to kill a vampire. That’s right the cops, the feds as a matter fact no one with a badge can kill a vampire. That’s where Congress thought they were being clever or maybe just stupid. They made all these laws to make it look like they were doing something about the vampires. But there was no one to enforce them. Which means the vampires could pretty much do what they wanted. All the officers of the law could do was give them a warning and give the equitant of a ticket.

That is until a vampire hunter got arrested for killing a vampire and was put on trial. All the vampire hunters and slayers got together and hired one of the best lawyers in the country. This high paid attorney turned the trial into a circus but more important it showed that Congress really wasn’t doing anything about the vampires. The guy got off, became a national hero, wrote a book made a million bucks, retired and Congress was flooded with phone calls, e-mails and real letters. Can you believe it some people sat down and wrote a letter. Since it was an election year the men and women on the hill had to do something if they wanted to keep their cushy government jobs.

Which brings you to little old me and my fellow slayers. Congress had to accept the fact since we had been killing vampires for years we were qualified. They gave us licenses and the hunt was on so to speak. It was mostly government work at first but then we started getting private work. For you to hire me you need the complaint the police gave you when you reported your vampire problem. You also need the field report to show the cops had made contact with the vampire in question. Now for me to go out and kill the bloodsucker I need you to give all this paper and sign a contract stating you have hired me to kill a problem vampire. You will also give me a big wad of cash.

I had gotten all these from Mr. Stingy, faxed them over to the cops to make my kill legal. I was now heading out to the valley to earn my fee. I pulled into the school parking lot. The music blasting out of the gym told me where the dance was. The well-dressed couples hanging around outside made me feel underdressed in my jeans, turtleneck and vintage Navy pea coat. My sneakers were the latest and greatest from Nike. You don’t go cheap on footwear in this business. I went to the back of my jeep which had a custom made steel hardtop with bulletproof windows. I punched in the code into the state of the art electronic lock. I threw up the hatch door giving me access to the steel locker that was welded to the floor of my jeep. I unlocked the five locks and opened the lid. It was like a huge fishing tackle box with sections that lifted out. Each section was filled with wood stakes, small bottles of holy water, silver bullets, crosses, and a custom made Bowie knife with a silver blade and several other odds and ends I used in my work including some silver brass knuckles. I throw a mean punch but you need something extra to knock a vampire or werewolf on his ass. My Colt Peacemaker and sawed off double barrel shotgun were strapped to the inside of the lid. I debated for a second, grabbed a stake and locked up my weapons box. I locked my Jeep and watched the action by the door. I figured my vampire was dancing the night away but eventually he would get the girl to some place nice and quiet. I stayed in the shadows as I moved around the gym and found a nice spot under a tree that gave me a good view of both doors. I pulled out a smoke and lit up.

Two and half cigarillos later, I spotted my bloodsucker walking out with a cute girl. He was sporting the look that was popular with vampires. That just happen to be what the latest movie star or rock singer was wearing in the teen magazines. This guy opted to go with the messy hair and rumpled clothes look. My client’s daughter had curly brown hair that was pinned up into some kind of fancy twist. The blue dress could have been by some hot shot designer but I wouldn’t know. I stopped caring about fashion right after I killed my first vampire. All I knew was that looked so tight I was surprised she could breathe let alone walk.

The young lovers wandered away from the other couples. The vampire glanced back as he pulled his date closer. I had seen this look before. I stayed where I was and watched the happy couple wander away from the bright lights of the dance. I tossed down my smoke and once again used my incredible stalking skills to follow the couple. Sure enough fang boy had coaxed her over to a small group of trees and they were soon making out. I moved up close enough to hear their sweet talk. I could have made a move then but had my reasons for waiting. I listened as the bloodsucker talk to the young girl in a soft sexy whisper.

You know I love you baby, he said kissing down to her neck. I am here with you. Your old man called the cops on me. I am risking my life being here with you but you’re worth it.

Oh sweetie, I know you love me but… She said closing her eyes and tilting back her head. I don’t know…I heard stuff about…you know.

I don’t know what you heard, sweetie, he whispered as he planted quick kisses over her neck. What do I have to do to prove my love? Your daddy will hire someone to kill me. He could do that and the cops won’t do a thing. Probably that hell bitch.

I wanted to move but the vampire hadn’t bared his fangs so I waited.

Who? She sighed obviously enjoying his kisses.

Let’s not talk about that, sweetie. Let’s talk about you and me. I promise you that it will only hurt for a second and then we will be bonded for life. You and I will be like one forever…tell me you love me.

I love you, the young teenager said licking her lips and tilting her neck back even further. You and I together forever.

Forever, the vampire said as he lifted his mouth from her neck and revealed his fangs.

I waited until he was about to bite before I stepped out the shadows pulling the stake out my jacket pocket as I did.

I wouldn’t honey, I said moving closer to the couple. He is going to give you a hickie that you wouldn’t recover from.

Who the hell are you? The vampire snarled jumping back and baring his fangs like an angry dog.

The hell bitch better known as Chei Duguay, I said holding up the stake wishing I could spin it like that chick on TV. And we both know why I am here.

You just can’t kill him, the girl cried jumping in front of him using her body to protect his chest. You, you, you just can’t just walk up and kill him.

Actually I can. Sweetie, just step aside. You stay there but all that is going to happen is you’re going to rip that very pretty dress. Didn’t Kim wear that on the red carpet?

Now I know you think know everything about vampires. The bloodsucking, the whole sun thing and living forever and most of it is true. The really old and powerful vampires can even change into bats. The hypnosis thing only works on the weak minded, really stupid and lovesick teenagers. Oh, they don’t have super strength. Think about it? How would dying and coming back from the dead make you stronger? You don’t become a martial arts expert either. But the one thing that most people don’t know about vampires is. They are craven cowards. They don’t take a Kung Fu stance or thrust out the chest and make some clever remark when confronted. Nine out of ten times when they see someone like me, they run. So I wasn’t surprised when fang boy ran like the wind leaving a sixteen-year-old girl to watch his back.

Run! Run baby, she yelled giving me a real mean look. I’ll deal with this bitch!

Get out my way! I snapped pushing aside the teen queen. I heard the sound of silk ripping but kept running. Sorry about the dress!

I was lucky the vampire was running in dress shoes where as I was wearing my over priced sneakers. He had a good twenty feet on me but I was closing the distance. I lucked out when he looked back and crashed into a couple making out by the gym. All three fell to the ground in a tangled pile. The vampire shoved the girl off him and stumbled into the gym. By this time I was on his heels. I ran into the gym and stopped in my tracks. The place was packed with teenagers standing around or dancing in the middle of the room. The lights were dimmed and the flashing strobe lights made it all most impossible to spot my mark. I began to move through the crowd scanning the faces while that blonde chick sang about her poker face. I really licked this song and found myself nodding to the beat as I continued my hunt.

Suddenly the crowd parted and I found myself looking at six over-sized teenage boys who were trying to look like bad.

I wasn’t impressed.

I will admit they had a few pounds on me and bigger muscles but I still wasn’t worried. I knew that I really didn’t have to take on all six guys. I just had to take out the Alpha dog. It had to be the big blonde guy with the stud in her ear and the tat of a spider web on his neck.

You ain’t wanted here,