Suicide Prevention: The Traffic Light of Survival

By MJ Maher

MJ lost her eldest son, Bryan, to suicide on 6th March 2020, so MJ has dedicated her time and 28 years' experience as a mental health nurse, a group analyst (psychotherapist) and a researcher to design this workbook for professionals working with suicidal patients; individuals not in therapy bu

• Language: English
• Publisher: MJ Maher
• Release date: Jun 9, 2023
• ISBN: 9781805410485

Book preview

Suicide Prevention: The Traffic Light System of Survival 2022

First published in October 2022

ISBN: 978-1-80541-047-8 (Paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-80541-048-5 (eBook)

Copyright © 2022 – MJ Maher Consultancy Ltd. All rights reserved.

Illustrations © Kiara Thembile Maher

Editor: MJ Maher

All rights reserved. No part of the publication may be produced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the copyright holder, except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright Law. Applications for the Copyright holder’s written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the Copyright holder.

Disclaimer:

The aim of this book is for educational purposes. All the information provided in this book is provided on an ‘as is’ and ‘as available’ basis and you agree that you use such information entirely at your own discretion.

The book contains content regarding the theme of suicide, trauma and self-harm. This may be difficult and challenging for some, so the author urges the reader to make an informed decision about reading any content. All content including text, tables, images and information contained in this book is for the purpose of general information only. The right to use any exercises offered in this book is personal to you.

The opinions expressed in the book are those of the author and the information is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The author makes no representation and assumes no responsibility regarding any medical advice, therefore, for specific advice, readers should obtain appropriate help from their doctor.

The material may contain views or recommendations but does not necessarily indicate a commitment to a particular course of action.

DEDICATION

To my ever-smiling son, Bryan Themba Benn Maher. (Themba means trust/hope). It annoys me greatly to know that you are going down in history as the only person on this planet who failed to get annoyed with me even for five minutes. Those who know me will understand how impossible that task is because my being annoying is as normal as breathing, but you were too smart and too patient for me to ruffle your feathers. Of course, we disagreed, and you often beat me with your intelligence, wit, charm and ability to avoid conflict. However, as I was always 34 years ahead of you, I thrashed you with knowledge gained from my lived experiences and my ability to thrive in conflict. People used to say we were so alike, but I never saw it until I started working on this project.

From the day I gave birth to you, I knew that your mission was to make a difference for mankind, but I did not know that you had to die first to achieve this and challenge me to find a meaning for your early exit. I will give all I have to fulfil your mission - to make a difference for many.

Thank you for 34 years of pure bliss. Thank you for protecting me, especially from the pain of losing you as you cocooned me with so much love, respect and pride. Even in death my pleasure and pride for being your mother outweigh any pain. I was so lucky and blessed to have you.

I know you are now with the other family comedians. Although you are at the top of that league, I must warn you about my late brother Sam because I know he will try to upstage you.

Sleep well, my son. You have done your bit; you gave me 34 years of so much happiness and pride. Let me now honour you and fulfil your dream by making a difference for those battling with suicidal thoughts and behaviour.

Till we meet again, sweet dreams, my son.

Mum

CONTENTS

Dedication

To My Surviving Children

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Preface

Introduction

Safety Plan Form

The Traffic Light System of Survival

Section 1 – Green

Part 1: Tick-box Exercise

Part 2: Activities – 1a & 1b

Activity 2 - Group A:

Activity 2 - Group B:

Activity 2 - Group C:

Activity 2 - Group D:

Activity 2 - Group E:

Part 3: General Observations

Section 2 – Amber

Part 1: Tick-box Exercise

Part 2: Activities – 1a

Part 2: Activities – 1b

Activity 2 - Group A:

Activity 2 - Group B:

Activity 2 - Group C:

Activity 2 - Group D:

Activity 2 - Group E:

Part 3: General Observations

Section 3 – Red

Part 1: Tick-box Exercise

Part 2: Activities – 1 & 2

Activity 3 – Call for Action

Part 3: General Observations

Section 4 – Blackout

Dear Family/friends/colleagues

SOS – Save Our Sanity Code

Conclusion

TO MY SURVIVING CHILDREN

Karen, Kim, Kiara and Brendan

No matter how tough life becomes, please never believe that suicide is the answer. Never give anyone that much power, the power to seduce you into thinking that suicide is the answer, because they are not worth dying for. As we witnessed with Bryan, if you die, they will not bat an eyelid, so no matter how foul their utterances are, your death can never be the toothpaste or toothbrush they need.

I know I am blessed with extraordinary children, and challenges will be thrown at you, but challenges are there to stretch and motivate you to release the extraordinary talents you carry within you. Please remember this; attackers do not go for empty vessels. So, when challenged, listen to the blessings in the chaos thrown at you so that you can give your gifts a chance to develop, even if it means climbing down, because sometimes you need to move backwards to generate more energy for a longer jump; at other times, something needs to change or end first in order to create space for new growth. However, I promise you – you will fly high again. Be kind to yourself and keep breathing.

Just imagine …

-If Nelson Mandela, the African National Congress leader, anti-apartheid activist, and the first black president of South Africa, had killed himself instead of spending 27 years in prison?

-If Stephen