Lick and the Invasion: The Encounter (Book 5) (A Humorous Science Fiction Adventure): Lick and the Invasion, #5

By Lick Darsey

Space was full of all kinda critters. Some good and some bad. And we discovered some of them critters ain't so different from us. But our number one objective was still to get back to Earth and save the planet.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bright Aurora Media
• Release date: May 27, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223656876

Book preview

Lick and the Invasion

LICK AND THE INVASION

THE ENCOUNTER

LICK DARSEY

BOOK 5

CONTENTS

Introduction

Agreement

Purple

The Similarities

Allies

Also By Lick Darsey / R.D.Smith / Rob Douglas

Note to Readers

INTRODUCTION

Space was full of all kinda critters. Some good and some bad. And we discovered some of them critters ain’t so different from us. But our number one objective was still to get back to Earth and save the planet.

AGREEMENT

That sumbitch Peen-Iz went and did it. That asshole double crossed us and trapped me, Fanger and Jack in one of them Jell-O balls. We was all pissed off as hell but we knew whining, complaining and second guessing wouldn’t fix shit. We did what we had to do at the time to get out of The Hole and off the planet. The only thing we could do was move forward. Besides, me and Fanger had dealt with our fair share of two-timing assholes back at the junkyard. We knew how to hold a grudge with patience. And not only did we have the patience for revenge, me and Fanger was trained as shit too. We decided the best strategy was to get back to the basics and work through the problem. Just like we always practiced back on Earth. So back to basics was our new motto.

Jack was handling the backstabbing purty good too, even though he didn’t have me and Fanger’s training. In fact, he didn’t even seem to give a shit we was imprisoned. All Jack wanted to do was press his face up against the bottom of the Jell-O ball and look down at Peen-Iz working the controls. While me and Fanger got back to basics, Jack watched ever damn tap and swipe Peen-Iz made on the control panel and learned all kinda shit about how the ship worked.

Peen-Iz either didn’t know or didn’t care that he was giving Jack a free lesson. That sumbitch ignored the shit out of us and the patrol ship’s crew froze up in the solid clear bubble that hovered next to us. But we didn’t care he was ignoring us. It gave me and Fanger time to work up our plan and Jack time to learn how to operate the ship.

Like I said, back to basics was the first step. Even though we didn’t train in space or on a space ship me and Fanger knew how to operate in unknown environments. When in doubt we always deployed our secret weapon: Get Fanger drunk and wait on the strategizing. I even gave him a couple of my whiskey bottles just to boost his buzz a little. Sure enough that shit worked.

I know what to do, Fanger said, slipping an empty bottle in his right pocket. Same shit we do to all them hillbilly alien sumbitches.

Jack lifted his head and looked to the right at Fanger. What’s that?

Fart on them sumbitches and whoop their asses. Fanger handed me back one of my full bottles of whiskey. His buzz was strong and he didn’t like to hog booze. Penis ain’t never seen us do it neither. He don’t know what farts do to assholes like him.

You’re damn right. I twisted the lid off the bottle. We can vibrate outa here and take that sumbitch by surprise. Jack, you good to fly this here ship?

Prolly, Jack said. I know how to do all kinda shit now.

Then that’s our plan. Alpher Bater Whoop Penis’s Ass. I shifted my eyes between Fanger and Jack. Back to basics works good a shit.

One thang, Jack said, looking down through the bottom of the Jell-O ball. Ain’t we high as shit? We’re gonna hit the floor hard as hell.

Me and Fanger looked at each other, grinned big as shit and both said, Back to basics.

Back in the junkyard me and Fanger trained doing that par coors thang where you jump off high shit, do flips and roll around. We both were good as hell at jumping from high up and landing without getting hurt. Jack handled himself purty good so me and Fanger sometimes forgot he wasn’t trained like us. We gave him a quick down and dirty lesson on how to hit the ground and roll. After a couple practice falls—me and Fanger tossed him in the air and moved outa the way—he hit the curved bottom of the Jell-O ball just fine.

Even though Jack was still nervous as shit about the big drop to the space ship floor, we couldn’t