Remembering You Like Déjà Vu

By Geli Santarsiero

A relationship was formed and destroyed with their own hands. The stars were within their grasp but alas, they didn't know how to control the light that they held; thus crumbling into stardust. Remembering You Like Déjà Vu is a collection of poetry and narrative writing. Sharing the memoir of two souls that have entered each other's lives, teaching them about grief, and tragedy, but most importantly how to love and accept its warmth. The story conveys the emotions, the thoughts, and the mindset that surrounds the situation at hand, all in hopes of not only nurturing their own soul but aiding those who identify with the hardship of loss.

Completely written and illustrated by Angelica Santarisero, Remembering You Like Déjà Vu is to be taken in two parts.

Remembering You: Referring to looking back. Recalling experiences that you once had and experiences that will live within you for as long as you live. Looking back on the person, or people, you once knew. Were once possibly fond of, yet it also insinuates that remembering is all that will be. It cannot be changed or undone, and all it will be is a memory. A memory of someone or something. Even though what's done is done, you can still remember it all. To bask in memories that bring you euphoria. To validate the hardships that you've faced. To make peace with the life that you've lived thus far.

The second half is "Déjà Vu" referring to how those memories, have impacted your person. How it bleeds into your mindset, your thoughts. It refers to how your inner world reflects your outer. That had not gone through it all, you would not be the person that you have become today. It also notes how you want to proceed. You have already lived through similar situations, and thus how do you want them to define you? Who do you want to be going forward, because that is all you can do. Move forward. Déjà Vu is the familiarity that comes from the past. It is how you navigate the future, one step at a time.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: May 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9781667899206

Book preview

THINKING OF HOME

Honey colored leaves on a foggy autumn afternoon

Sprinkled along the orange sidelines

Smothered apples beneath orchards

And pear colored grass getting ready to hibernate

A bittersweet breeze cruising by

Snow droplets spill on the newly bare ground

Then it melts like chocolate for fondu

Two small animals stumbling over themselves

A glowing hue resonating from a plasma screen

Beverages poured from bottles into illegal cups

Never a moment of dead air

Comfort in their every heartbeat

Memories flooding as eyes turn violet

They were like home...

They were the brown wavy hair

That slipped through your fingertips

The key that swung around their neck

And a warm welcome

Every time you stepped into their arms

They were breakfast in bed

The breathtaking laughter

That made your stomach twist

And you were the record

That skipped through the same songs

Melodies they couldn’t get enough of

No matter how many times you played

That’s what it’s like to be homesick

And you just want to go home

SLEEPLESS MIDNIGHT THOUGHTS I

Hug me

Tell me how proud you are

Of all my work

And of me

Call me embarassing nicknames

The ones that I secretly liked

And kiss me softly

Under rosé sheets

Just tell me that you love me again

Of all the lives we could be living

I’m thankful to be living this one

I’m thankful to have known you

In this horrifically wonderful life

2.4

Being together

being with them

there was never enough time

As years soared by

in a blink of an eye

you wish that they could have lasted

just a little bit longer

than they actually did

Because when you hungout

you never wanted

to say goodbye

And suddenly

All the love songs

Became about them

And all the heartbreak

Ones too

You used to take multiple photos of me

always the one behind the camera

capturing genuine smiles

and silly pig noses

enough to fill a scrapbook

Of course

we had many moments captured together

taken by strangers and friends

standing next to each other with big grins

and hands around waists

pictures to use for our lock screens

so that it would be you I see

when I open my phone

I took a lot of you too

in a secret album without you knowing

and although all of them are sacred

the last photo that I took of you

may have been the most memorable

I took the camera from your familiar hands

and you asked me how you looked

I fixed your hair like I used to

gently placing each curl

making sure they behaved for the photo

you were dressed in all black

a bit sweaty

but I told you that you looked great

because you always did

and you said to me

Thank you

You smiled the same grin that made my heart flutter

and though I know it was all for the camera

being behind it made me smile a bit too

and finally

on the count of three

1...

2...

3...

That was the last photo I took of you

"AND WE’LL ALWAYS BE FRIENDS FOREVER.

WON’T WE?"

Hard to come by friendships

stick with each other

in the best and the worst times

like a forever kept pinky promise

Friendships like these

come in different shapes and sizes

often in the most unusual circumstances

like a little fox and hound dog

Yeah, forever.

Words are heartbreaking

the way they can roll off

the tip of the tongue

cradled in premature emotions

saying:

You are very lovable

"...but I am not the one

who can love you

anymore."

GROWING PAINS

Another year gone by

Another birthday

Another year older

Dear sweet soul

You look like yourself

But you’re someone else

But it’s your party

And you will cry

If you want to

So I guess

Happy Birthday

To you

You lay your head on a blue pillow

Wrapped in blue sheets

In a blue painted room

Where you lay restlessly

Unable to shut your mind off

And give in to the inky navy sky

Longing on the light that glistens in

Glimmering in your tired eyes

You patiently wait

Yearning

As you toss and turn to find comfort

Remembering the feeling of them

Cradled in your negative space

Your mind flutters

Your body aches

And the blue persists without direction

Eventually you submit

And reunite with the one that you crave

Crafted in untouchable images

For now

You are absent minded of the blue

Forgetting your empty crevices

Slumbering in indigo

One day you’ll have the person who values you

cares for you

the proper way

Respects you and treasures you

they’ll spoil you and never put themself in a position

that risks losing you

They would do everything to keep you

in their embrace so no other person can hold you

the way that only they do

Shelter you, praise you,

and most importantly

love you

Make you laugh

make you smile

make you feel secure

You just wish

that perfect person

could have been them...

You used to believe that they belonged to you

out of every fish in the ocean

That they were only yours

and you were only their’s

But you’re not nobody’s somebody

anymore

And now

you’re merely a shell

Of what they

once had

Fabricated images

Unrealistic but the happiest moments

We get to sink into again

A forbidden season