Keep Your Kleenex: From Diagnosis to Deliverance

By PhD Natashia E. Stafford-Cotton

It is always there.

If I want to pick it up, if I want to relinquish the protection over my peace...if I want to set aside my positive disposition, the opportunity is always there.

When the unimaginable occurred four months into my marriage, I not only survived the devastation but had the audacity to brazenly live! This memoir will

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Jul 5, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887387819

PhD Natashia E. Stafford-Cotton

Dr. Natashia Stafford-Cotton is a native of Portland, Oregon, who has lived the majority of her life in Northern California. She has a doctorate and master's degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology from Walden University, MBA (concentration: Executive Business Management), and BA in Behavioral Science from National University. Dr. Stafford-Cotton is married and has four children and three dogs.

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Keep Your Kleenex

From Diagnosis to Deliverance

Natashia E. Stafford-Cotton, PhD

Keep Your Kleenex: From Diagnosis to Deliverance

Trilogy Christian Publishers A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2023 by Natashia E. Stafford-Cotton

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA.

Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, CA 92780.

Trilogy Christian Publishing/TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Cover design by: Jina Choi

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 979-8-88738-780-2

E-ISBN: 979-8-88738-781-9

Some names and identifying details have been

changed to protect people’s identities.

Dedication

To all who want to continue in spite of devastation and have the audacity, tenacity, and faith not only to survive but also to thrive!

And to those who are caretakers, supporters, best friends, family, or a part of the inner circle of survivors, stand your ground, know your value, and protect unapologetically.

Acknowledgments

This book is the culmination of many critical moments in my life that intersected with those in my family and merged with my inner circle. I am incredibly grateful for you all. To my husband, Lenard Devern Cotton II, we both had no idea over twenty-two years ago when we met we would end up here together. Thank you for encouraging rather than crushing my need to share this story, especially since we are mutually on this journey, and you still have an incredible story of your own that is yet unfolding. You are my best friend; interestingly, over the years, you’ve never offered me a tissue, but you’ve wiped away plenty of my tears with your hand (or allowed me to use your shirt, LOL), and I will unapologetically ride for you till the end of time.

To Ky’ Tavia, as my oldest daughter, you have seen me at my best, worst, weakest, and strongest moments before I married Dad and after. Nevertheless, I hope you feel as honored and proud to be my daughter as I am to be your mother. I want you to know I prayed for you not to experience such loss again because I know losing Grandpa was the most significant hurt in your then-young life. I am so indebted to God that He honored my prayer. I know that you may think I was extremely hard on you versus consistent, but I hope you’ll be the same for your children, LOL. I appreciate you immensely for holding down the fort at eighteen years young, taking care of your little sister, getting her to and from school, the house, the dogs, etc., while dad and I had to move away for his transplant. I know you were overwhelmed, but you didn’t let me see that. You were even willing to forgo starting your freshman year at UCLA because we were slated not to be back in time, but we said, No, that’s not going to happen, and so did God (Dad was released earlier than anticipated), which is why I always want you to remember the journey you are on you’re supposed to be on and don’t let anything or anyone deter you.

Most importantly, I want you to continue to grow in your faith and personal relationship with Christ, and when trials come in your life, you recall the miracles you lived through but also the wonderment of God that you’ve experienced already in your journey to becoming a physician. Lastly, when you marry and have children, root your family in the Christian heritage from which your legacy sprouts.

To Kynnedy, you were so young when most of this occurred, and this was one of the thoughts that pained my heart the most and the reason I refused to relent in any form or fashion. You are growing into such a beautiful young lady that instinctively knows and sticks close to her dad, as I did mine. To witness this is the answer to my prayers, team Daddy’s girl for life! I pray when you become an adult and fully understand your dad’s diagnosis and read this book, that it fills in the blanks, closes the gaps on things we could not or did not share with you, and that you stay close to the God who heard the prayer I prayed on your behalf.

To Brandon and Brenaé, I hope you two find invaluable insight from this book and experience the power of prayer, love, and family, even when circumstances try to disrupt it. May you continue to find yourselves thankful for the opportunity to draw closer to Him, recognize your blessings, and live your lives fully without regret.

To Miccah, I know one day you will realize just how significant your running in the door, saying, Where’s Pop Pop? and being able to have a pure experience of your grandpa is. I pray you look back vividly and treasure the videos, Facetimes, baking cookies, and all the days to come with Pop Pop and that you, too, grow into a man of faith!

To my mother, Carol, thank you for allowing me to share one of my darkest moments (which you admitted was not your finest hour) and for encouraging me to share my testimony to bless others. You were gracious when reading the draft, and I hope you know I did my best to carefully handle our fragile situation without altering the intenseness of that pivotal time. You and Daddy gave me Jesus in a real way; I thank you for every prayer, and I love you immeasurably.

To my sisters, you all have seen me morph from forceful older sister to strong, resilient single mom to warrior wife and caregiver to Dr. Sister; all the while, each of y’all still just let me be and see me as Tashia. Phebe, you knew when I needed to express any and everything with great detail, and you would always listen intently for hours. Also, for the time—or times—you drove Kynnedy all the way (some two-hour drive each way) just to see us for perhaps half an hour, which did more for us than it did for her. I know it was not an easy ride back. Tiffany, you would effortlessly make me laugh and make sure to tell everybody who misunderstood my bark that I wouldn’t bite and that I was soft and sweet. Kristen, you never asked anything in particular or in general and made sure I stayed updated on our shows, and you made sure I was just Auntie Cookie when I saw the kids or came over; that norm was so welcomed. Trishina, you were there that time I needed, and you let me ugly cry while you prayed loudly and fervently on the phone; then, you gave me all the space that I needed, exactly what the doctor ordered. Deusha, you messaged me at work, and we’d email, text, message, or catch up via phone on some of the best diversion topics of all time! As a matter of fact, we are ridiculously outlandishly overdue! Don’t make me come to Portland…

To Shannon, your friendship is one of stability and consistency; you don’t bother, inquire, ask, or overstep ever. Our lives have kept us busy, and we’ve gone years without seeing each other, but as you were there for me when my dad passed, when you found out about Pete’s situation, you dropped everything and stepped up for my family and the girls voluntarily in a way that I did not even think to ask. The peace that I had knowing you were around the corner, actively and readily available to jump in and assist, gave me so much peace.

To Leslie, you came without hesitation when I called for the smallest or largest of asks; you never failed to check in on all of us, grab the girls to give me a break, and you still do to this very day! I will always appreciate and treasure how deeply your heart cares for us.

To Dr. Ellena, thank you for making sure in your own incessant way that I did not miss an assignment or discussion post, that school remained in the forefront of my mind, and for setting up study days regularly to get me out of the house, foregoing my never-ending to-do list with a change of environment to focus. Well, the emphasis of our get-togethers was not always academia, but hey, we PhinisheD!

To MAT, fifteen years ago, I thought I was solely walking into an interview; unknowingly, I walked into a meeting with my fairy godmother. When I feel forgotten, unappreciated, or incapable, a text or email from you always comes and conveys to me the opposite! You never forget my birthday or the little things that make me smile, and you let me know that I am doing a great job juggling when I am doubting myself and feel lost; your cards and tokens of love remind me that people do see who I am, that they do know my heart, and that I am always doing the best I can for everyone I can! I hope you know how many times you were my support, and your friendship, your closeness, and your non-judgment zone all around have mattered over these years.

To Momma P, for helping me to feel normalized in my exhaustion of things and frustration with folks and all the countless meals, and yeah, you know we know that you exponentially personify what it means to care, and you exemplified giving; you grasp the role of caregiver like no other! You are not just a talker because you said, Natashia, I am here for you; y’all are my family, and you have demonstrated that in every sense of the word. You have not disappeared now that some time has passed since his transplant; you still make sure to check that both he and I are good, you reach out to Ky, my sisters, and you check in on my nieces and nephews. You disarmed Pete and adopted our whole family, my mom included, and you remain a safe place for us to land.

To KJG, for the nagging, somewhat irritating, long messages that started out with sarcasm and perhaps a joke, there was perhaps a beatbox song that might’ve ended up with the rap, but more than likely