Feeling of Loneliness

By Gonzalo de la Fuente

What is meant by loneliness? Is it different to be alone than to feel alone? Have you felt sadness, misunderstanding, lack of pleasant moments or have you been rejected? Perhaps the lack of security and the fear of abandonment have taken over you.

Knowing the causes of loneliness is clarifying its origin... and being able to act on it. It's not easy, but there are strategies to overcome the feeling of being lonely in the world. Think that it is not good to get used to being alone, because we are social beings, nor to have calamitous thoughts, since anxiety, anguish and depression affect us physically as well as emotionally.

This book is for those who consider "company with others" the recipe for happiness; but they find themselves stranded in the impotence of concretizing healthy relationships.

Loneliness is neither good nor bad in itself, but it generates positive or negative feelings in us according to how we approach it. It is up to you to use the advice that psychology has developed for a full life and that are developed here.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ediciones Afrodita
• Release date: May 2, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223761433

Book preview

Feeling

of loneliness

Understand its causes

and know how to face it

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Gonzalo de la Fuente

Ediciones Afrodita

Cover image: Renan Brun-Pixabay-

Content

Chap. 1 What is meant by loneliness?

Chap. 2 Causes

Chap. 3 Loneliness in the workplace

Chap. 4 Mechanisms to overcome it

Chap. 5 Concept of happiness

Chapter 1

What is meant by loneliness?

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What is loneliness?

It is a subjective feeling that can be momentary or lasting. Some are terrified, but for others, it is a necessity. It's all about dose and perception.

Although loneliness is a subjective feeling that could be perceived differently from person to person, social isolation causes a feeling of emptiness and suffering when you don't choose. The good news, there are several initiatives that can make it possible to get out of it.

Loneliness is the feeling of being alone. It doesn't necessarily depend on the number of people you interact with, as you can feel great alone in a crowd. Social isolation is linked to a lack of interaction with others. In the vast majority of cases, loneliness is not a chosen and appreciated situation.

It is necessary to differentiate the lonely person, who appreciates and chooses to live moments of solitude, from the isolated person who lives a prolonged and installed solitude that cannot be supported. In the same way, it is not the same to be alone as to be single; since to find the love of life, it is necessary, previously, to be without company.

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How do you define loneliness?

Loneliness is a state that one never chooses. The feeling of loneliness is always negative and is triggered by an emotional deficit. This deficit acts like any other deficit, comparable to pain or hunger. In the specialized literature, loneliness is often referred to as social pain.

Those affected perceive their own social life as inadequate. This applies to all aspects of closeness and community. Lonely people are often dissatisfied with their relationships. Either these are not intimate enough or not emotional enough.

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What is the impact of isolation on health?

There are numerous studies that highlight the harmful effects of loneliness on health. According to research by the Canadian Institute for Health Information, single older people are more likely to die earlier.

In his book Loneliness, Human Nature, and the Need for Social Connection, American neuroscientist John Cacioppo also wrote that prolonged loneliness not only alters behavior, but also shows up when we measure stress hormones, immunity, and cardiovascular function. Over time, these physiological changes worsen to the point of throwing millions of people into the grave . In 2003, the scientist also highlighted, thanks to brain magnetic resonances, the activation of painful areas when people were rejected from a cluster.

People who suffer from this prolonged social isolation are also at higher risk of developing conditions such as depression. Disturbing data, the feeling of loneliness is considered one of the plagues of the 21st century.

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Entrenching in concept

Loneliness is a state or moments in life when a person is left alone either physically (there are no people around) or mentally (there are no like-minded people around).

Sometimes being alone is normal and good, many creative people strive to be alone, knowing how fruitful it can be. At the same time, loneliness as a way of life is not the most favorable condition for a person. Men complain of loneliness less frequently than women, but it is men who are most affected by loneliness. Men who live alone, without a reasonable environment, are more likely to sink and pick up bad habits: disorder, night lifestyle, computer games, and alcohol.

Women are more successful in coping with the situation of loneliness, but they are the ones who complain about loneliness more frequently. At the same time, a paradox has long been known: it is those who are most surrounded by people who most often complain about the feeling of loneliness. These dark feelings are more often a problem in big cities than in small villages, and more often a problem for young people who have no occupations (work, study).

It seems that one of the reasons why you feel lonely is the desire to draw attention to yourself and feel sorry for yourself, especially since feeling sorry for yourself is easier than mastering communication skills.

A lively and active person, when he only lacks contacts, he simply reaches out to people. If he lacks deeper contacts (courtship, marriage), he himself shows a deeper interest among the selected people. If he has no one to communicate with, he can get down to business, because if a person is busy with what he loves, he is in business, and not worried. In order to live longer, he needs to communicate with loved ones, travel or find a partner.

Very often, people experience a feeling of loneliness and use it (perhaps unconsciously) to form bonds. I am so lonely, everyone left me, everyone betrayed me ... It is understood that the one who hears will not leave and will not betray him, but will repent and help him. Therefore, most of the talk about loneliness is a variant of manipulation. Behind the feeling of loneliness, there can be a variety of things that a person may not even be aware of. Fear of acting ... Revenge of the offender ... Desire to suffer in order to draw attention to oneself ... Wrong lifestyle, belief curves, functional or anatomical negativity - all these circumstances can be determined only by a psychologist Personal Consultation Specialist. People often refer to the feeling of loneliness as something that is distantly related to the feeling of loneliness: a variety of problems that they find difficult or unwilling to solve on their own.

Female loneliness remains a separate big topic. Women want to have a relationship more than men, and the absence of a close man is more often experienced by them as a social failure because of their inferiority. Women's loneliness is more of a feeling than a reality, since in reality the lifestyle of single women may not differ much from the lifestyle of women with a family.

This desire to complain, (what happens to girls: Mom, everyone has a Barbie, but I don't! There is absolutely nothing to play with! - even though she has toys for half the room), is rather a game of nostalgia, since the sadness of female loneliness is played more often by those women