Shattered Pieces of the Heart

By Lynda Baxwell

Lynda had to learn a lot of things the hard way, though she really did try to live life the right way. Or at least what she believed to be the right way. But God had a lesson for her to learn. He was not to be kept in the religious box she wanted to keep Him in. And He wanted her to love Him no matter what happened in her life. But living in the world we live in made it most challenging by the obstacles set before her. She was just a simple country girl, wanting to live a simple country life. Wanting to live what she thought was a normal life, whatever that is. Instead, God brought her to places that she never dreamed were ever possible for her to go and do. And along the way, life was very difficult, but she escaped many attacks from the enemy. Several women are still in a situation like she was. Others have been severely hurt or killed. Lynda’s hope is that others will learn from the mistakes that she made, and also that they will know there is hope to be able to leave and have a better life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Outskirts Press
• Release date: Mar 18, 2015
• ISBN: 9781478756293

Lynda Baxwell

Lynda is a wife, and a mother of five sons, two stepsons, and a stepdaughter. Also she is a grandmother of three grandsons, four granddaughters and a step grandmother to five grandsons. She is active in her church and has always been involved in Christian organizations, as a pianist, music leader, president, or a speaker. She has been in different plays and two musicals. She also has played keyboard and sang for different country bands. She has several different past times with music, art and acting as her hobbies, and enjoys playing pool, darts, horse shoe, bowling and decorating. You can visit her blog at: http://lyndascrazylife.wordpress.com/

Book preview

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The opinions expressed in this manuscript are solely the opinions of the author and do not represent the opinions or thoughts of the publisher. The author has represented and warranted full ownership and/or legal right to publish all the materials in this book.

Shattered Pieces of the Heart

All Rights Reserved.

Copyright © 2014 Maria Baxwell

v2.0

Cover Photo © 2014 Maria Baxwell

This book may not be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in whole or in part by any means, including graphic, electronic, or mechanical without the express written consent of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-4787-5629-3

Outskirts Press and the OP logo are trademarks belonging to Outskirts Press, Inc.

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Introduction

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My name is Lynda. My goal in life was not to write a book. But I feel that I need to do so because of other women that are like me out there. I want them to know that they can get out of their situation and have a better life without condemnation. And I believe with all my heart that is why I had to go through what I did, for the sake of others. I believe it was God’s purpose for my life.

I’m not writing this for revenge. The name’s have all been changed. I am not writing this for sympathy. I have gone through it and am now being put back together as a whole person and am blessed with a good family, materialistic blessings and a wonderful church family besides.

And I want to say to my sons, it is your choice to read this or not. To my first four sons, please love and respect your dad. He didn’t know any better after being treated the way he was growing up. Alcohol does a lot of damage to people when misused. He has changed. Forgive and forget and remember that love is the most important thing in life to value.

To my youngest son, I want you to do the same. Your dad served our country in the military. Need I say more? Veteran’s give their lives to protect us in the United States. Going into war and seeing the things they see would not be easy on anyone. It messes with the mind. When your dad came back to the U.S., he was met, when getting off the plane, with hippie war protestors. They had no appreciation for the vets. Very hurting I would say for guys who gave up their lives to save others. He needs your love and respect too.

Guys who abuse others have been abused themselves. The women who marry them think they can show love to them and make them happy. We are taken in by their charms and little boy attitudes. Somehow they get us so infatuated with them, we aren’t able to walk away from them as we see the red flags appearing before our eyes.

I don’t want you religious people reading this book because you won’t understand. Being a reborn Christian is the real thing and God is very much alive and well these days. He is the same yesterday, today and forever as Hebrews 13:8 says. All of the Bible is true and God is not dead. If you can’t believe what the book of Acts says, or what Mark 16: 1-20 says you’d better start cutting up the New Testament and tearing pages out. The Bible isn’t no fairytale. 1st John 4: 6 says But we belong to God, and those who know God listen to us. If they do not belong to God, they do not listen to us. That is how we know if someone has the Spirit of truth or the spirit of deception. And 1st John 4:16 says We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in His love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. Also 1st John 4: 20 says If someone says, I love God, but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?

I don’t hate the men that abused me but I hate what they did to my sons and me. They were abused themselves and didn’t know any better. But they could have changed if they knew they had a choice. Unfortunately abuse is the only normal some people ever know.

Not forgiving them will only hurt my sons and me more. And it won’t matter to them if we didn’t. So releasing them to God to take care of will be much more effective. And we don’t have to hate them knowing they were ignorant of their actions, and that it was the demons working through them that we do hate.

I also take my responsibility for my imperfections as to who I am also. I always tried to do my best in showing as much love as I could but it wasn’t enough to change things. There were many things that I needed to learn and change in my life. But even though, the boys and I did not deserve to be slapped or kicked or yelled at and put down just because the abuser had a bad day. It wasn’t our fault, but we suffered the repercussions from it.

As to you men whom have trouble with your anger, please realize anger is a result of some deep hurt in your heart as you grew up. You needed to be loved and you were abused instead. Please seek out a good counselor and in the mean time get a boxing bag. You don’t deserve to live in the hell you are experiencing. Face the hurt and deal with it. There are people who can help you.

And last of all I just want to say that God created us. He loves us and doesn’t want us to abuse each other or to be abused. Change is possible. I’ve (like many others) have experienced it. Life can be so much better if we only face the truth and deal with it. Love…..pass it around!

Contents

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Introduction

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Epilogue I

Epilogue II

1

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Lynda grew up on a farm in southeastern South Dakota. She was the baby of the family, having three sisters and one brother. She was a sweet little girl with long blond hair and a fair complexion. She loved to play with her kittens, and Pepper, her pet dog. Her Aunt and Uncle always spoiled her with candy and attention.

She attended a country grade school where she was well liked. In the spring and fall she rode two miles to school on her bike. At recess all the kids would play softball, or games like fox and geese and dare base. She could run pretty fast and loved competing in the field day races. She also learned to play the piano and really liked to sing. But stage fright was a very huge problem to deal with. Every time she had to be in a program or play, she would break out on her face from nerves. Her body would shake because she would get so nervous. But she did manage to play the piano for her school group when she got nominated as a delegate to go to a YCL youth meeting in Pierre, S.D.

When Lynda was a first grader, her closest sister was a freshman in high school. By the time she was a sixth grader