The Kitchen guy, a Reliable Tailor, and the Wicked, Lying and Treacherous Rival Sister: BABEL PROJECT, #2

By Baltazar Boeuf

A VERY VERY VERY WEIRD LOVE STORY

Jennifer Watts is a candid, hard-working girl exploited by Britney, her cynical, devilish sister. Jennifer's destiny changes when she meets billionaire (not millionaire) Richard Wealthy, who is kind of stupid but has rock-hard abs.

Just as Jennifer's circumstances begin to improve, her sinister sister screws up and ruins her life, until a stroke of fate, hidden in waffles and the contemporary art market, puts Jeniffer back in control of her life.

But there will still be one last challenge to face.

If you are a fan of Carlton Mellick III, Charles V, and Camillo VI, you will absolutely enjoy this story.

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Editor's note: a tailor and a boy who works in the kitchen (hence the title) also play a key role in the story.
End of editor's note.
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WARNING

Please understand that this book is a parody full of moronic stereotypes. If you were expecting a regular romance novel or a light comedy please don't buy this book to save yourself from further disgust.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Disaster Books
• Release date: Apr 11, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215943571

Book preview

ONE

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Cleaning offices didn’t seem like a difficult job. When Jennifer applied for the position, she had been told it was just picking up papers and disposable food containers, making coffee, mopping and polishing. But the job was a little more complicated than that.

The Cubbyhole occupies the first and second basement of the World Street Investment Company’s office building. This is where the extremist and irreverent stockbrokers ended up, who in the midst of sex, drugs and reggaeton made important financial decisions, not always the right ones, of course. So, cleaning up that place was not only about collecting papers, but also major disasters resulting from the excesses of these new yuppies. The executive directors of World Street confined the cubbies to the basement to avoid suicides of these brokers from the high floors of the tower: the excess of synthetic drugs together with unexpected millionaire losses are not a good mix.

Despite those risks, many people wanted to invest with the Cubbyhole guys for the thrill, the sense of illegality and because they sometimes predicted trends that no one else saw in the stock market. With them, it was possible to make significant profits with little capital.

The president, director, CEO and heir to the World Street emporium, was the enigmatic, very good-looking and very perfumed Richard Wealthy.

The regular World Street stockbrokers, who wear suits and ties and do cocaine without being addicts (just enough to stay in tune and to celebrate when it’s due) have nothing to do with the Cubbyhole, they despise the place. But it was rumored that Richard refused to close Cubbyhole because it was the origin of his company, so he was keeping it going even though it was no longer profitable. Others said that he kept it as his private party place, where from time to time he camouflages himself among the madness of the employees, who were so out of their minds that they did not recognize the boss. Others said that he used the Cubbyhole as a cover for illicit business. And others even claimed that the Cubby simply does not exist, that it was a myth to give mystery and charm to World Street.

It was nine o’clock at night and Jennifer hadn’t stopped working since early in the morning. She still had to remove an oil stain from the floor of the Cubbyhole before going to rest. How had a barrel of oil gotten there? The Cubby guys had made a smart investment against Iranian oil and they were celebrating by smearing themselves with crude oil, which also had good therapeutic properties for skin regeneration.

While on the upper floors the cleaning work was a quiet, even very boring job, here there was always some surprise. In the basement offices Jennifer once had to pick up camel manure, clean up vomit from the flower pots and sweep up dozens of used condoms. Along with the hundreds of giant screens with stocks going up and down, the loud music and the screaming stockbrokers and a few sleazy visitors who came to invest or collect their cash winnings, the place always seemed like pandemonium.

How would it be better to remove the oil spill? Wouldn’t it be better to set fire to it and let the combustion do its thing? After trying many chemical products, Jennifer managed to clean it, but she had to cover the stain with a carpet because the floor had become very slippery.

She arrived at her apartment tired, desperately needing the warmth of her bed and a hot dinner, but she couldn’t pull herself together because the mess at home was worse. Her sister, Britney, and her nephew, Bobby, were just like the messy stockbrokers: Hairballs in the microwave? Yes. A toothbrush in the blender? Yes. TV screen splattered with hair spray? Yes.

Except for the use of drugs, alcohol and wild sex sessions, his Brooklyn apartment looked like it had been visited by one of those rock stars when they break out in crisis.

Her sister Britney had been unemployed for months; she spent every waking hour watching soap operas and painting her nails. Her son Bobby was eighteen and had dropped out of school. His mother considered him a genius even though he had shown no signs of doing so.

Bobby is a prodigy, Jennifer. He’s not going to be a sad employee like you. Bobby has a lot of potential to be a powerful big mind, not a janitor, Britney would tell her.

So, Britney supported her son’s decision to stay home and made sure Jennifer indulged his every whim.

In the future, when he becomes famous and rich, he will thank you, my dear... if he remembers you, said Britney, very confident about her son’s promising future and her sister’s failure.

Jennifer Watts was just 24 years old. Despite her youth she had already given up on life, and was at the mercy of her sister and nephew.

When she came to rest that night and the apartment was a mess she cleaned it up with little complaint. She was so exhausted she didn’t want to waste what little energy she had left on an argument.

Was there anything left to eat? asked Jennifer sheepishly.

There was Chinese food, but they must not be in the fridge. Look in the bathroom or inside some drawer. You know how Bobby is when he gets creative. You know? I was watching a documentary on YouTube about talented young people and I think Bobby is a unicorn boy. During their childhood and early adulthood, they do unusual things and people think they’re nuts. But they’re actually creating something that regular people are not able to understand.

Jennifer snorted, ate a carrot-filled sandwich, as it was the only thing she could find in the fridge, and