ALWAYS YOU: Diary Of A Black Man's Love

By Marc Griffin

'Always You' is a true story about the dreams and love a Black man has for his wife through the music in his mind.
As a child of the sixties and seventies, I grew up under the influence of the 'make love not war' era. It was generational music that transformed America. It played a major role in stopping wars, putting a face on racism, unmasking sexism, and creating an awareness of caring about mother nature. The genre of music, tempo, or beat, didn't matter because the message was always the same. Stories about love, heartbreak, peace, and happiness. These heart-felt stories manifested inside my childhood dreams and transformed me. They became my reality.
Over the years, this music began to constantly play in my head, guiding me through difficult times. Life and death decisions were made with a song playing in my mind. Each song correlating with all my life adventures. It somehow created an immune system within me to stave off dolefulness, fear, and uncertainty. This allowed judicious decisions to be made. I believe God spoke to me through this music … guiding me, leading me, and loving me.
At 67 years of age, maybe it was time to take complete personal ownership of my life. Maybe it was time to grow up and stop living in a world of endless dreams. Maybe it was time to turn the music off.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jan 9, 2023
• ISBN: 9781387355754

Book preview

In Memory of

John A. Griffin, Sr. / Elma J. Robinson Griffin

We learn from our experiences in life, and I had the pleasure to witness one of the greatest love stories of all …

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ALWAYS YOU

Diary Of A Black Man’s Love

BY MARC K. GRIFFIN

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website: www.marckgriffin.com

email:  [e-mail]

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ALWAYS YOU

Diary Of A Black Man’s Love

AUTHOR: Marc K. Griffin

COPYRIGHT 2022 by Marc Griffin

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electric or mechanical. Including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author/publisher.

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-387-37046-7

Hardcover ISBN:  978-1-387-36072-7

E-Book ISBN:      978-1-387-35575-4

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

PROLOGUE

CHAPTER 1……………………………………. Covid – 19

CHAPTER 2……………………………………. Promises

CHAPTER 3……………………………………. The Beginning

CHAPTER 4……………………………………. July 22, 2023

CHAPTER 5……………………………………. Are You Still Listening?

CHAPTER 6……………………………………. Bucket List

CHAPTER 7……………………………………. Soulmates

CHAPTER 8……………………………………. Hidden Treasures

CHAPTER 9……………………………………. A Black Woman’s Love

CHAPTER 10………………………………….. The Flow

CHAPTER 11………………………………….. Foolish Heart

CHAPTER 12………………………………….. Saying Goodbye

CHAPTER 13………………………………….. Journey Home

CHAPTER 14………………………………….. Atlanta

CHAPTER 15………………………………….. Endless Dreams

EPILOGUE

ALWAYS YOU

PROLOGUE

It was a difficult week. I had tested positive for the covid-19 virus and began to experience the oncoming of neurosis. This feeling of uneasiness was almost overwhelming. It meant that ‘change’ was going to come. Sooner rather than later.

We would be leaving Las Vegas permanently, and in this part of the country, I will have to say goodbye to the deserts of the southwest and the mountains of the northwest. Their beauty had embossed a stamp on my soul and would be sorely missed.

In my dream, I was struck by visions of all the magnificent mountains climbed while living in Las Vegas. North Peak, Bridge Mountain, Angels Landing, Mount Rainer, Half-Dome, Glacier Point, Mount Charleston, Griffith Peak, and Turtlehead Peak appeared then disappeared.

I heard the music of ‘Fleetwood Mac’, It’s only right that you should play the way you feel it. Listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness. Like a heartbeat drives you mad in the stillness of remembering what you had.

The vision in my dream transitioned to the one magnificent and imposing mountain I had yet to climb … Gunsight Notch.

The singing continued, And what you lost. And what you had. And what you lost.

Then my pleasurable dream of all those illustrious mountains turned vantablack. Into nothingness.

The fear I felt when my mountain climbing dreams turned vantablack was startling. Everything, as I knew it, didn’t make sense anymore. It would mean there was nothing beyond death. You die and it’s ‘the end’.

Maybe life truly was just a series of coincidences, leading each of us blindly down a path of our own choosing.

‘Fleetwood Mac’ concluded, … I keep my visions to myself … Have you any dreams you’d like to sell? Dreams of loneliness, like a heartbeat drives you mad in the stillness of remembering what you had.

Suddenly, I sat bolt upright in bed. My mind became clear. I was not to blame for any of the major decisions in my life. It was the potion, a mixture of music and lyrics, that existed in my bloodstream and flowed through my heart. The resonance, ardency, and those melodic lyrics blended with my inner being, captivating all my thoughts. And though I never learned to create music, it ruled my world.

As a child of the sixties and seventies, I grew up under the influence of the ‘make love not war’ era. It was generational music that transformed America. It played a major role in stopping wars, putting a face on racism, unmasking sexism, and creating an awareness for caring about mother nature. The genre of music, tempo, or beat didn’t matter because the message was always the same. Stories about love, heartbreak, peace, and happiness. These heart-felt stories manifested inside my childhood dreams and transformed me. They became my reality.

Over the years, this music began to constantly play in my head, guiding me through difficult situations. Life and death decisions were made with a song playing in my mind. Each song correlating with all my life adventures. It somehow created an immune system within me to stave off dolefulness, fear, and uncertainty. This allowed judicious decisions to be made. I believe God spoke to me through this music … guiding me, leading me, and loving me.

Even now, as I rose from my bed and walked over to the window to pull the shade back for a look at the mountains of Red Rock Canyon, I could hear the music.

‘Tears For Fears’, Welcome to your life, There’s no turning back. Even while we sleep. We will find you acting on your best behavior. Turn your back on mother nature …

These lyrics were speaking on behalf of the mountains. Rocking my head from side to side to the unheard music, I understood the significance of its meaning. The mountains were rife with anger, like children not understanding why they have to move away from their friends. They (my mountains) felt abandoned and needed to know why I was leaving.

My response was clear, When I laid atop you dying, it was Alline who came to my rescue. It was visions of her that led me away from you and brought me safely home. Therefore, I want to bear witness to Alline’s happiness … even if it meant sacrificing my own or yours.

There was only one problem. I didn’t want to go. Las Vegas was the place where I wanted my dreams to end, not to begin again.

The Red Rock Mountains of Las Vegas refused to give up their hold on my heart …

They continued, … It’s my own design. It’s my own remorse. Help me to decide. Nothing lasts forever. Everybody wants to rule the world.

At 67 years of age, maybe it was time to take complete personal

ownership of my life. Maybe it was time to grow up and stop living in a world of endless dreams.

Maybe it was time to turn the music off.

CHAPTER 1

Covid-19

In planning our trip to celebrate Christmas with family, we were so very careful to remain free of the covid-19 virus. Everything we could control we controlled.

Alline and I were both vaccinated. We remained vigilant by wearing a mask every time we came face to face with the public. No place was considered safe, not grocery stores, not gas stations, not convenient stores, not department stores, not jobs, and not restaurants.

As requested by the hostess, two days prior to our trip we tested negative for the virus and texted the results to all family members attending the holiday gathering. With each attendee doing the same. 

The other family members were driving to Atlanta in the safety of their own private cars. We were the only exception.

Alline and I lived almost 2000 miles away from the rest of the family. As much as we could control our environment, the airline flight to Atlanta would be the only opportunity for the virus to attack. And it did.

Everyone fell ill on Christmas Day … after two years, the virus had finally hit home.

Arriving back from Atlanta four days later, it was New Year’s Eve. A time for celebration. A time for joy. A time for dreams of the future. But we could only listen to the distant sounds of the coming year through the windows in our lives.

For the first time since our marriage, we laid in separate beds. In separate rooms. In separate parts of the house. Uncertain what the future would bring. Uncertain about life and death.

Alline and I were just close enough to hear an occasional cough, the clearing of a throat, the rustling of sheets, and the muted sounds of a television. Close enough