Transformation

By Rachel Emefa Afi Markham

Transformation is a book where the writer shares her experiences as a survivor of sexual assault and how these incidents impacted her life; as well as her healing journey - Her goal? To encourage other survivors to come forward about their own stories. In this book the writer shares a series of text messages highlighting conversations between herself and her abusers as she recounts her experiences and what she learned from them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Dec 18, 2022
• ISBN: 9781387409006

Book preview

Transformation

Rachel Markham

Transformation

Copyright @ 2021 by Rachel Emefa Afi Markham

ALL RIGHTS ARE RESERVED.

No permission is given for any part of this book to be reproduced, transmitted in any form, or means; electronic or mechanical, stored in a retrieval system, photocopied, recorded, scanned, or otherwise. Any of these actions require the proper written permission of the author.

ISBN: 978-1387-4-0900-6

Printer: Nab Superior Services

Cover design: Daniel Nti-Boakye of Dartisan Inc.

Typesetting: Gird Centre

Contact Information:

[e-mail]

Transcend & Transform

CONTENTS

Birth

‘Life Goes On...’

‘The Veil Drops’

‘Rise of the...?’

‘Reflection’

Surviving, Situations & Solutions

Transformation

Disclaimer

The accounts contained in this book are the writer's true experiences to inform and to educate, but not to give individuals attention. All experiences surrounding the individuals mentioned are the writer's true encounters. No account herein is meant to defame or slander, but to share the author's story like many other women who have faced similar difficult situations.

(Any and all similarities to people may be coincidental)

The screenshots of the text message conversations included in this book exist in their original forms.

Content Warning:

This book contains experiences of sexual assault. Although the author narrates incidents of assault, no graphic depictions are stated. However, assault is the core issue within the work and so reader discretion is advised.

This book is not recommended to readers who find it difficult to consume sensitive content or information.

This book contains strong words and language.

Trigger Warning:

The following paragraphs contain descriptions of assault; reader discretion is advised.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all sexual assault survivors.

Acknowledgements

Miss Ruth Arhin for her poem ‘Transformation.’

The @Boring Talkative for the slide on "How the police and judicial system is failing rape victims.

Chapter 1

Birth

Do you remember being a baby or what it felt like? Probably not. And to be honest, neither do I. Naturally, at birth we are deemed innocent, pure, and sometimes happy, and to me, this is partly because we were yet to step into the awareness of good and evil.

      In our young age and tenderness, our experiences are imprinted in our subconscious minds, and we remember and internalize them much more than we tend to realize (at first glance). But here in this book, I want to talk about the elements, emotions, and experiences we may have in life and the periodical ‘transformations’ that result.

      Trauma can be impactful to one’s life. The world is a confusing place, but nothing new exists under the sun. Our awareness of and introduction to the world kicks in through our relationships with other people.

      That is why our loved ones instinctively prioritize our protection and serve as our introductions to a sense of community, comradery, and society.

      It’s also in our early stages of life that we discover (and express) different emotions determining how we react to the atmosphere surrounding all situations concerning us and the people around us – which ultimately shape and mold us. But at what point do we understand ourselves as complex (and highly intelligent) emotional beings? That is the question that has been on my mind for the past two years, and finally, I think I may have found an answer (or at least an alternative), which is to pause and start from the very beginning.

      Between the ages of 5-7, I was sexually abused by an individual trusted by my family. Though I was abused at that early age I didn't quite understand what happened to me until I was about 12 years old. I was in the 6th grade then and during a Citizenship Education/Social Studies lesson (mandatory for all students to take), we studied rape and molestation. It was then that my 12-year-old mind realized what had happened to me. We discussed the topic of rape and molestation (as crimes) but never really talked about consent or the importance of seeking and respecting consent.

      Sexual abuse, like many other topics, was taught to students but not necessarily enforced. We knew it was criminal and harmful to victims, but it seemed it was something in our syllabus that everyone needed to ‘chew and pour’ to gain a passing grade during tests or exams that were given to us.

Even though we may have knowledge on certain things, we do not actually internalize them because we are not taught to. School and home are two systems that shape our idea and understanding of life and set the tone for what we may consider as normalcy. I say this because our reasoning and logic greatly determine how we perceive certain situations and their effects on us. A lot of wrong goes on in the world (for it is not a perfect one) and I cannot help but feel the world is comfortably complicit with certain wrongs and is saturated with negativity to the point nature is fed up.

It’s time for change, and change is here.

Chapter 2

‘Life Goes On...’

I grew up in Ghana; lived and schooled here, but I was culturally raised an American more than a Ghanaian. Although I lived here, I had a superficial understanding of Ghanaian culture.

      Generally, I enjoyed living here and grew an interest in tourism and the overall infrastructural growth of Ghana. Accra, the capital, is an average densely populated city with a cosmopolitan mix. To some (including myself), Ghana is a peaceful, easy-going country made up of hard-working people. But like any nation, there are always flaws such as crimes, corruption, and injustices, but Ghana, to me, is all I have known as home. Despite what happened to me as a child, I grew up and went on about life and did not seem to feel much regarding what had happened to me, and neither did I feel it had any impact on me (and I was so wrong). Generally, and lacking a higher level of awareness, asides knowing I had been through certain things, overall, I thought I was okay (when I was not).

      Through the progression of my young adulthood, I got more into sexual assault advocacy. With time, I began to talk about it more openly on social media platforms like Instagram and Twitter. I followed accounts that supported survivors and spread awareness about sexual assault and would often share their posts on my page. I did not think the seemingly minuscule initiatives I was taking would sprout into something bigger, but while entering 2019, an incident, experience, and series of events significantly changed the course of my life and in this book, I talk about all of it.

      In November 2018, I lost a close friend whom I had known from Junior High School. I can remember the day I found out about her death very clearly. I woke up to a text message from a best friend that stated she had some bad news for me. The news about the death of our long-time friend was unreal, especially considering the last time I saw her was my birthday dinner on April 24, 2018, and later in September I spoke to her. Funny enough, earlier that year, prior to my birthday, I was not on talking terms with her for a while. One day, she messaged me about the hostility between us and said she had missed me and our friendship. I explained to her I was hurt and confused by the abrupt end of our communication, and she admitted to distancing herself from many people.

Unfortunately, some of those people were unable to make amends or communicate with her before she died, and so, the news of her death hit these people quite hard. She was a lively, cheerful, and fun person to be around. She could easily have been described as someone full of life by those who knew her. She was also forgiving, empathetic, and genuinely had a big heart. And as bright, beaming, and gleaming as she was, we still feel her absence on very deep levels. May her unforgettable soul rest in peace.

Chapter 3

‘The Veil Drops’

Following my friend’s death, my father and I went to pay our respects to her family.