The Family Caregiver's Guide: How to Care for a Loved One at Home

By Harriet Hodgson

Caring for a loved one at home. What’s really involved? And what does it mean for your family and future?

Tens of millions of Americans have had these questions and more as they prepare for this unsettling yet necessary task. The Family Caregiver’s Guide fills in the gaps, connecting the dots between research and real life.

Drawing on the author’s extensive caregiving experience, this book provides strategies to care for your loved one, inside and out, as well as for yourself—including how to use your natural skills in your new role, and which skills you may need to add. You’ll discover how to set up your home for caregiving, including a safety checklist, equipment suggestions, and words you should know.

And for those days that are more than a handful, you’ll find positive affirmations, a section on facing and accepting illness, and smart steps at the end of each chapter, in case you need guidance in a hurry.

Caregiving has both rewards and challenges. But through it all, you’ll discover what’s most important—that caregiving is love in action.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WriteLife Publishing
• Release date: Sep 7, 2015
• ISBN: 9781608081271

Book preview

Reviews

The Family Caregiver’s Guide is a must-read for all caregivers, whether family or professional. Harriet Hodgson backs up each chapter topic with an impressive list of resources. Her personal stories add credibility to this research. The Smart Steps at the end of the chapters are excellent. Although Harriet writes about the challenges of caregiving, she also writes about its positive impact on her life. A Registered Nurse and certified counselor, I worked in home health for ten years and was a caregiver for my mother and husband. The Family Caregiver’s Guide is the best caregiving book I have ever read. I hope it is required reading for all professionals and available to families everywhere.

Mary Amundsen, BSN,

MS Counseling, Caregivers’ Support Group Leade

Harriet’s latest work is grounded in an honest approach to the full spectrum of what it takes to care. Her focus on the daily realities caregivers have to contend with is a refreshing perspective and one that caregivers at any stage could benefit from reading.

Adrienne Gruberg, President/Founder, The Caregiver Space,

www.thecaregiverspace.org

Harriet Hodgson’s latest book, The Family Caregiver’s Guide, immediately put me at ease. The chapters are well organized. Checklists and questions, sprinkled throughout the book, give the reader opportunities to reflect about caregiving. Smart Tips at the end of each chapter act as a review of information. This is a must-read for new and experienced caregivers alike. Harriet has much to share with the caregivers of the world.

Mary Jane Cronin, MA, LMHC,

Cronin Counseling and Coaching, Largo, Florida,

www.cronincounseling.com

Harriet Hodgson has written many books about heart-wrenching events and does it again with The Family Caregiver’s Guide. The book is based on her eighteen years of caregiving experience. Harriet was her mother’s caregiver, twin grandchildren’s caregiver/guardian, and is her disabled husband’s caregiver today. Readers will benefit from the guide’s clear organization, extensive research, friendly writing, and 101 Smart Steps. Caregivers need all the help they can get. I would recommend The Family Caregiver’s Guide to any caregiver. It’s a winner!

Gloria Horsley, MFC, CNS, PhD,

Cofounder and President of the Open to Hope Foundation,

Co-Host of Open to Hope Radio and Television

The Family Caregiver’s Guide is an informative resource for caring for an infirmed loved one. As a nursing professional and caregiver for my daughter, who sustained severe anoxic brain injury more than twelve years ago, I would have welcomed this easy-to-read guide. Even though I’m a RN, with a doctorate in public health systems management, when my daughter was injured I felt overwhelmed. The Family Caregiver’s Guide provides simple, easy-to-follow steps for caring for a loved one. The appendix contains checklists for creating a safe home environment and definitions of common medical terms. I love the personal touch Harriet Hodgson provides throughout the book, assuring caregivers that we are not alone to fend for ourselves in this chaotic healthcare maze. Each caregiver’s journey is personal, and the ability to go to any chapter when needed is a precious gem of this guide. I highly recommend The Family Caregiver’s Guide to professional and lay caregivers alike, because no caregiver should embark on this journey alone.

Deborah Anzalone, Dr. PH, RN, CHES,

Lighthouse Point, Florida

Just when I think I’ve got this caregiving thing in control, Harriet Hodgson has come up with answers to issues and questions I haven’t confronted yet. The Family Caregiver’s Guide is filled with practical information that can be used to chart schedules, identify problems, and solve problems, all the while taking care of myself. Hodgson is as creative as to have you mentally reverse roles with the person you are caring for, and as practical as to encourage ten minutes of meditation a day for the caregiver. This book is presented differently than any other I’ve read on caregiving, and may be the only help book I’ll need from now on.

Peggy Trumbo,

dementia caregiver on the caregiver journey

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The Family Caregiver’s Guide

How to Care for a Loved One at Home

Copyright © 2015 Harriet Hodgson.

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, digital, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except for inclusion in a review or as permitted under Sections 107 and 108 of the 1976 United Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center.

The information in this book is not intended to serve as a replacement for professional medical advice. Any use of the information in this book is at the reader’s discretion. The author and publisher disclaim any and all liability arising directly or indirectly from the use or application of the information in this guide. A health-care professional should be consulted regarding your specific situation. Readers are advised to seek the guidance of a licensed physician before making changes in their health regimens. While every effort has been made to ensure that the information in this book is the most current, new research findings may invalidate some data.

As of the writing of this book’s manuscript, all web hyperlinks were viable, and the material was downloaded for any future examination. As of the printing of this book, some web addresses were no longer viable. Hyperlinks were removed from web addresses that were, at printing, not viable.

Published in the United States by WriteLife Publishing

(An imprint of Boutique of Quality Books Publishing Company)

www.writelife.com

Printed in the United States of America.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015933443

978-1-60808-126-4 (p)

978-1-60808-127-1 (e)

Book design by Robin Krauss, www.bookformatters.com.

Cover design by Dave Grauel, www.davidgrauel.com.

Cover photo, Love from Ephesus from www.istockphoto.com, family photos by Haley Earley.

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Thank You

When I started this book I did not know it would turn into a family project. Thank you to my husband, John, for his inspiration, encouragement, and medical expertise. Thank you to my granddaughter, Haley Earley, for taking the photos. Thank you to my grandson, John Welby, for his technical support. And thank you to my daughter, Amy Hodgson, for indexing the book. I am blessed to have such a loving and supportive family.

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Also by Harriet Hodgson

Alzheimer’s - Finding the Words: A Communication Guide for Those Who Care

available from John Wiley & Sons and Amazon

The Alzheimer’s Caregiver: Dealing with the Realities of Dementia

available from Amazon

Smiling through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief with coauthor Lois Krahn, MD

available from Amazon

Writing to Recover: The Journey from Loss and Grief to a New Life

available from Centering Corporation and Amazon

Writing to Recover Journal

available from Centering Corporation

The Spiritual Woman: Quotes to Refresh and Sustain Your Soul

available from Centering Corporation

101 Affirmations to Ease Your Grief Journey: Words of Comfort, Words of Hope

available from Amazon

Seed Time: Growing from Life’s Disappointments, Losses, and Sorrows

available from Amazon

Walking Woman: Step-by-Step to a Healthier Heart

available from Amazon

Happy Again! Your New and Meaningful Life After Loss

available from WriteLife Publishing

Affirmations for Family Caregivers: Words of Comfort, Energy, and Hope

available from WriteLife Publishing

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Dedication

This guide is dedicated to all family caregivers, the unsung heroines and heroes of life. Thank you for your loving care.

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Contents

About This Guide

Introduction

Chapter 1: Caregiving Is an Expanding Role

Define Your Mission

Your Job Description

Your Task List

Help with Setting Goals

Become an Advocate

Assessment Checklist

Visitors

Ask for Help

Affirm Your Role with Words

Smart Steps

Chapter 2: Focus on the Care Receiver

Unwelcome Role Reversal

Modesty and Privacy

Effects of Medications on Memory

Altered Sense of Self

Feeling Out of Touch

Depression Awareness

New Life Purpose

Benefits of Humor

Sources of Hope

Small Successes

Power of I Love You

Smart Steps

Chapter 3: Facing and Accepting Illness

Health-care Team

Chronic Illness

Catastrophic Illness

Disability

Care Receiver’s Needs

Planning

Help from Family

Awareness of Anticipatory Grief

Legal Matters

Positive Self-Talk

Smart Steps

Chapter 4: Assessing Your Loved One’s Abilities

Mental Status

Physical Status

Activities of Daily Living (ADL)

Communication Skills

Forgetfulness

Set Some Boundaries

Say Yes When You Can

Say No When You Must

Keep a Logbook

Complexity of Spousal Care

Memorandum for Record

Monitor Health Changes

Smart Steps

Chapter 5: What Skills Do You Have?

Innate Talent

Education and Experience

Physical Strength and Fitness

A Spiritual Core

Disease-Specific Knowledge

Problem-Solving Skills

Creativity

Time Management Skills

Dependability

Active Listener

Smart Steps

Chapter 6: What Skills Do You Need?

Coping Skills

More Education

Ways to Reduce Isolation and Loneliness

Systems for Tracking Meds

Compassion Fatigue Plan

Emergency Plan

Medical Talk

Self-Confidence, A Gift to Yourself

Better Sleep Plan

Support Group

Smart Steps

Chapter 7: Getting Ready for Home Care

Establish a Routine

Modify Your Home

Bathroom Safety

Make the Best Use of Space

Home Assessment Tools

Paid Caregivers

Grocery Shopping and Preparing Meals

The Transportation Issue

Mobile Services

A Different Life

Smart Steps

Chapter 8: Caregiving Nuts and Bolts

Durable Medical Equipment

Grab Bars

Walkers and Crutches

Mobile Tables

Transfer Boards

The Right Wheelchair

Grabbers and Leg Lifts

Incontinence Supplies

Room Monitor

Best Equipment: A Cheerful Attitude

Smart Steps

Chapter 9: The Many Rewards of Caregiving

The Miracle of Life

Less Institutionalization

Preciousness of Time

Learning from Your Loved One

Mindfulness

Self-Compassion

Caregiving as a Spiritual Experience

Letting Go

Gratification and Gratefulness

Smart Steps

Afterword

Appendix

A. Home Safety Checklist

B. Medicine Cabinet Supplies

C. Terms to Know

Bibliography

About the Author

About the Medical Consultant

About This Guide

The goal of this guide is to make caregiving easier for you. When caregiving is easier, you feel more confident and more in control.

Caregiving may be new to you. It may be a second job for you. To become a caregiver, you may have switched to part-time work or quit working. Life is different now. It doesn’t take long for you to realize that caregiving duties add up quickly. Busy days become busier. Small worries turn into big worries. The funny, kind person you remember from childhood, now in your care, may become grumpy and difficult.

Over time, fatigue sets in and takes a toll. Like many family caregivers, you don’t get enough sleep. You won’t be the first caregiver to ask, Will I survive all this? Caregiving is a journey, and this book is your guide. The information presented here is reliable, and the stories are real. This book is written and designed for easy reading. Four methods used in this book help to speed you on your way.

1. Chapter titles get straight to the point of addressing the common challenges that caregivers face.

2. Bold headings serve to keep you on course, so that you always know where you are in the contents and where you are headed.

3. Bulleted sections make it easy for you to skim the text and quickly find the information you are seeking.

4. The Appendix is your planning helper. It contains a Home Safety Checklist, Medicine Cabinet Supplies list, and Terms to Know list. In addition, at the book’s end, the bibliography contains a comprehensive list of sources you can consult for further help, and the index allows you to find what you need in the book.

You don’t have to read this guide in one sitting and may begin with any chapter. If you are pressed for time, you may want to head straight for the Smart Steps at the end of the chapters. These are easy-to-find, shaded pages. Taking one Smart Step can save you hours; taking all 101 Smart Steps in this guide may save you days.

Where to Find Smart Steps in this Book

I have refrained from writing yet another caregiving memoir. Instead, I have written a guide based upon my life experience and research findings. An old adage says writers write about what they know. This saying is true for me. I have been a health and wellness writer for more than thirty-six years. Most important, I have extensive caregiving experience: I was my mother’s caregiver for nine years, I took care of my twin grandchildren for seven years, and I am my husband’s caregiver now. He served as the medical consultant for this guide, and his input influenced the content.

Now, let me tell you a little more about my experience.