Sandcastles in the City of Lies

By Susie Q. Corey

Learn how to destroy the sandcastles in your own City of Lies through the courageous telling of Susie's heart-wrenching story of abuse, abandonment, surrender, and hope.

We all have our own story of pain from those we thought would love us well; none of us are unscathed. With inspiring vulnerability, Susie Q. Corey encourages r

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Jun 14, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887388090

Susie Q. Corey

Susie Q. refuses to live in the City of Lies. She has journeyed down many paths, living her life in bondage of things like fear, abuse, and abandonment. She is far from perfect, yet she strives to be all that the Lord created her to be. She chooses to walk in faith, not being moved by what she sees or feels but by the guidance of the Holy Spirit living within her.

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Sandcastles in the City of Lies

Trilogy Christian Publishers A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2023 by Susie Q Corey

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.TM. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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Trilogy Christian Publishing/TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

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Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Manufactured in the United States of America

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 979-8-88738-808-3

E-ISBN: 979-8-88738-809-0

Edited By Jared Hernandez

Dedication

I dedicate this book to all my family and to those that I call family. This book is part of the legacy that I leave to my children, grandchildren, and to generations to come.

Acknowledgments

First and foremost, I want to thank God for all He has done in my life. He has been with me every step of the way. He has given me the strength and encouragement to write this book. Thank You, Lord, for Your grace, mercy, and a lifetime of blessings.

I am so thankful for my husband, Mike (Lovie). Thank you, Lovie, for being by my side and supporting me through all the late nights and for giving me grace when I didn’t go and do things with you because I felt I needed to write. You have been very understanding and supportive in every way possible. I love you!

To my daughters, Tabitha and Tenille, thank you for your input when I was writing through some really difficult times and trying to share from my perspective only. I know the two of you have gone through so much because of my decisions and the choices I made throughout your childhood. We have gotten through many tough times, and I am thankful for all the grace and mercy you have given to me. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I love you both more than words could ever express.

I want to thank my bonus son, Jared, for all the time and effort he has put into editing this book. You are the best editor ever! You have encouraged me to share more when it was difficult, and you helped me find the words to say those things that I had difficulty saying. Thank you for your availability and for the endless phone calls, for talking me through the difficult times, and for reminding me who I am. I love you, and I am thankful that you are a part of my family.

I would have never been able to write this book without my stretcher bearers, Becky, Jan, Nancy, and Shannon. You have prayed for me through every part of this book. Thank you all for your faithfulness, support, and love.

Introduction

I can still hear those very words that changed my life: They are just sandcastles. You see them as though they are made out of brick and mortar, but they are not. They are just sandcastles, and you can destroy them. Those words began to reveal the truth and expose the lies in my life. In the blink of an eye, it all changed. The atmosphere shifted, and all I had to do was choose to take control.

When those words were spoken to me, I visualized myself standing in the middle of a city built out of sandcastles. The substance of these sandcastles consisted of things like pain, hurt, disappointment, anger, abandonment, guilt, shame, and feelings of being unloved, unaccepted, and unforgiven. I saw that these sandcastles were built very closely together, and the foundations on which they were built were lies.

You would think that if all those emotions created a city of sandcastles, it should have been easy enough to destroy them and move on with life. It was not. These sandcastles were all founded upon lies that made me believe I had to live in the middle of them all. I saw them as though they were indestructible, made out of brick and mortar. This city of sandcastles was a dark place that held secrets that were not to be revealed. I believed I had to live in it and pretend that all was right when, in reality, it was not.

When my eyes were opened to the fact that this dark city was just built out of sand and there was no brick or mortar to be found, I began to destroy every sandcastle that surrounded me. From that day forward, I have felt like a new person. I may not be able to completely describe the feeling I felt when the atmosphere shifted with the realization that my past was no longer defining me and generational curses were broken, but I can tell you the freedom I now walk in continues to amaze me.

We never asked for the lives we’ve been given, and as children, we certainly had no control over how our parents chose to raise us. But for such a time as this, I am who I am, and you are who you are. So, take control by recognizing you have to give up control of the things that do not belong to you and allow yourself to be the best you can be in all that you do.

As you journey with me into my past, I will be sharing with you some of the good, the bad, and the ugly that positioned me smack dab in the middle of the sandcastles built in the City of Lies. I will also be sharing with you the victories that have come from destroying that city, how the atmosphere shifted, how my past is no longer my identity, and how generational curses are no longer mine. You will see how all these things have molded and shaped me to be who I am today. You will see how I am able to walk in complete health, wholeness, and healing; spiritually, physically, and emotionally. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. As you read through my journey, keep an eye out for the sandcastles that may have been built up around your own life, and dare to start tearing down any lies that have surrounded you so you can walk in freedom as well.

The Reflection of Pain

As far back as I can remember, I have wanted to tell my story. I am so thankful the story was never written then. You see, had I written it when I originally wanted to be heard, it would have reflected all the pain I was going through and all the lies I was telling myself just to make myself feel like I had risen above it all. I would also have been inflicting my pain upon all those who were involved in my story. The story of a child who felt unloved and abandoned. The story of how I was mistreated, abused, and belittled. The story of poverty, alcohol, drugs, and manipulation. Of suicidal tendencies because of others. Of searching for love among those who did not know how to love. Of how I rose above it all and how I proved them all wrong. Of how I wanted so much more out of life and of how successful I became. It would have been a perfectly proud poor me story.

I wanted those that hurt me to see that I succeeded despite the circumstances. But at that time, had I really succeeded, or was I merely trying to live as though I had? When you are walking through difficult times, the forest can overwhelm you to the point of barely seeing well enough to take the next step. It is hard to see the rainbow in light of the trees. Sometimes life takes you in circles, and other times, you just stand in one spot, turning in place, trying to make sense of it all. Sometimes you just want those who have hurt you to experience the same kind of hurt.

During these times, your vision can become so blurred you cannot see the story any other way. The victimization you feel overrules the slightest bit of truth, and it magnifies the reflection of your pain. When you feel such pain in your heart that it pierces your soul, something in your mind is triggered, and barriers begin to be set in place. You begin to do things to make yourself feel like you’re protecting yourself; you go into survival mode. When you get into that protective/survival mode, you then begin to tell yourself things to make you feel better about yourself. This can become very dangerous because deception can easily step in, and you can begin to believe the lies you unintentionally tell yourself. All this can become so suffocating. It can become a way of life, and you forget what it is like to breathe in a breath of fresh air.

There have been many times I’ve hurt others. I was afraid they were going to hurt me, so I would hurt them first. I didn’t know how to be a friend. I did not know how to trust, nor was I willing to trust anyone. In all reality, the only thing I ever wanted was to be loved. I thought if I was loved, then I would be heard and accepted. What child runs away from home before the age of five and begs their parents to give them up for adoption because they just want to be loved? I was that child.

Nothing I lived through in the past can be changed. As we all know, we cannot go back and physically change the past. But today, I can write from a humbled perspective that comes from healing and forgiveness, showing love and gratitude, and giving mercy and grace, just as I have been given. We are all human. We all make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes hurt those around us. Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to justify my actions or anyone else’s, but I refuse to be a victim.

I know I am not perfect, and as I walk through my day, I may fail in one way or another. But I am determined to rise above those failures, learn from them, and continue to persevere through this life in order to be who I was created to be and to do all I was created to do. Through healing, I can humbly share my story, knowing that the pain and hurt that may have been caused by others was not my fault and that they, too, have traveled along a path full of hurt and pain.

Created to Be Somebody

Have you ever felt like a nobody and just wanted to be somebody? I know I spent quite a bit of my life feeling this way. My oldest daughter and I entered a grape-stomping contest, and we registered as The Somebodies. We proclaimed on the front of our shirts that we were somebody, and we gave proof on the back of our shirts of what entitled us to be somebody by stating Somebody’s Daughter and Somebody’s Mom. So, when I was stomping grapes, people saw that my shirt said Somebody’s Mom, and they saw my daughter’s shirt that said Somebody’s Daughter. We did this just to be creative. At this point in my life, I knew I was somebody. As I continue to share this part of my journey with you, I want to talk about wearing the title of somebody as you would wear a piece of