Take Me Out Of This Hell!: Fight For Yourself

By Monica Walsh

Take Me Out Of This Hell! combines memoir, interviews with abuse survivors and an extended reflection on the plight of women today. It is a self-help book for people who want to learn how to recognise the red flags in abusive relationships. Her book Take Me Out Of This Hell! recounts her own journey, from the little girl with dreams from small town to international model and in particular her battles with domestic violence. Monica wants to share what she has learnt, heard and seen with you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Mar 31, 2023
• ISBN: 9781398456075

Monica Walsh

Monica Walsh is a former model, influencer and domestic violence campaigner. She graduated from the Silesian University of Pedagogy with a Bachelor of Arts and ESOL CELTA from the University of Cambridge and has been working with children since 2009. Monica took part in beauty pageants: Mrs World, Mrs Universe and Top Model UK. During her career, she walked the world’s biggest red carpets, had many photo shoots all over the world and helps many victims find support and resources.

Book preview

About the Author

Monica Walsh is a former model, influencer and domestic violence campaigner.

She graduated from the Silesian University of Pedagogy with a Bachelor of Arts and ESOL CELTA from the University of Cambridge and has been working with children since 2009.

Monica took part in beauty pageants: Mrs World, Mrs Universe and Top Model UK.

During her career, she walked the world’s biggest red carpets, had many photo shoots all over the world and helps many victims find support and resources.

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my late godmother who was a fatal victim of violence. I also dedicate the book to my late parents, especially my mother who supported me in writing it and who also experience violence in her life as a child.

Copyright Information ©

Monica Walsh 2023

The right of Monica Walsh to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781398456068 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781398456075 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2023

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

1 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Acknowledgement

Special thank you to all victims and survivors all over the world who contacted me and shared their stories with me. Thank you to my amazing son Dylan for his support and understanding during this project. I’d like to thank Jeremy Murphy of JM Editing & Literacy Agency for appraising the first two chapters of my book.

Introduction

One day I was sitting in the living room and looking out the window… there was beautiful sunny weather outside – the sky was blue and the trees were swaying in the wind. I could hear the muffled noise of people on the street…

I was thinking about my lifelong dream to write a book. This desire had been born a long time ago and was slowly evolving in my head. I thought it would be a book about fashion or English grammar because these two topics are particularly close to my heart.

Life made me revise my plans. There was a new topic; it quite accidentally entered my life and became such an essential element that I decided this publication would deal with it.

The problem is severe, embarrassing, unrewarding and unpleasant: violence against women. My activities in this area, which I engage in every day and personal experiences with abused women, confirm that this problem should be talked about openly and out loud!

This book is unique since it contains authentic and very personal stories, thoughts and drama of ill-used women and their cries for help.

The media often asked me about the details of the experiences of women affected by violence but I never wanted to talk about it openly. The day finally came when the victims themselves decided to break the taboo. Through the pages of this book, the abused women will stand up and tell their stories.

In modern times of equality, emancipation, and independence of women, there are still tragic personal stories found in the privacy of people’s homes. One should talk about it openly without hiding the perpetrators and even more so without justifying their actions.

The book is devoted above all to women who have experienced violence and have the strength to talk about it openly. One cannot forget that domestic violence also affects children. The very fact that the child is a witness to arguments and domestic violence influences his/her further life. Victims of violence are also men who opened up to me because they were mentally and physically abused and did not know how to end toxic relationships and were ashamed to even talk about it.

This book is dedicated to You, Dear Reader. It does not matter whether you are a woman or a man, whether you are a victim of violence or you will never be a victim. It is possible that you will never come across violence in your life and that is my wish for you.

This is why I want everyone to open their eyes. Not only people who may be affected directly or indirectly. You must not forget that you live in a society, you live among people. You are someone’s colleague from school or work, you are a friend or neighbour.

Maybe in the evenings, you can hear crying and screaming behind the wall? Perhaps sometimes you see dark circles under the eyes and scratches on the hands of a friend at work? Do you react? Or do you just pretend to be blind and deaf? Walking alone through the streets of Dublin, I witnessed violence against a woman in the car, I tried to stop and make sure everyone is OK. And would you react? This book, above all, is to make you sensitive. It is to open your eyes to the problem of violence.

The modern world has rules of its own. We do not care about each other, we try to focus only on our own lives and on our personal matters. We function like robots, we do not have time for reflection: work, shop, dine, sleep and repeat.

We live in soap bubbles and what matters is only in that bubble; everything outside it does not concern us. We put headphones and blinkers on and pretend not to hear and see the calls of others. And maybe right now, at this very moment, we can help someone, save someone or change someone’s life. You don’t really need much, just the right response.

This book aims to sensitise the reader to the problem of violence against women, men and children. The presented stories describe terrible situations; they scare but also teach. They indicate possible ways of reacting. Happy endings let us believe that there is a way out of every dramatic situation.

That Is How it

All Started

Everything happens for a reason… situations, people and meetings that may seem completely meaningless leave a trace in us. They unintentionally affect who we become, what decisions we make and how we shape our lives. Although we do not attach any importance to specific situations, it often turns out that they acquire weight only after a particular time. And we have to bear this burden years later. That’s how it was in my case.

I always believed that where we grow up shapes us in ways we don’t even realise and I am no different in that respect. I was born and grew up in the city of Sosnowiec. It is a small city in the Polish province of Silesia but it was a good place to grow up and I have mostly fond memories of it. Our house was an apartment in a tall ten-storey apartment building in central Sosnowiec. I shared it with my mother, father and brother and while we didn’t have a lot of space or high-tech appliances and conveniences, it was a loving home. Our apartment was on the ground floor of the block and I remember we had a big window at the back of the house. The back windows and doors in each apartment faced a big central courtyard and green area, which was covered in beautiful trees and shrubs. My mother would often do her ironing facing the window, so she could observe everything happening in the green area and the surrounding apartments while she darned our clothes. I would often help her with the ironing and we would laugh and chat while observing what was happening outside. Sosnowiec also has many beautiful public parks, parks like Park Sielicki and Park Harcerski. Many of them were once owned by royal families and large industrialists but there were publicly owned by the time I was a teenager and I often visited them with friends to chat and talk about school. The parks provided a place to escape to and somewhere to be close to the sounds of nature whenever I felt frustrated and angry.

Walking through the maze of stalls at the local clothes and food market with my hand in my grandmother’s is certainly one of my fondest memories from growing up. The markets were busy, bustling places on Saturdays with people from all corners of the local region descending on the city centre to collect their meat, fish, vegetables and clothes; everything one can think of. For the adults, my mother and grandmother included, visits to the market entailed long queues, haggling with sellers and rushing to get the last batch of a particular commodity before it was gone. For me as a child, however, it was very exciting. I loved looking at the various items on display. One particular fruit seller became very fond of me. She would smile and makes faces at me whenever she saw me coming with my hand in my grandmother’s. She always offered me fruit – a delicious juicy apple or a small punnet of grapes. I would always be too shy to accept, however. Whenever the lady held out the fruit, I would hide behind my grandmother; I was a very shy