Let's Face It, America: My Sarcastic Life, #1

By Angela Dirtyface

The abandonment of war veterans in the USA, what a shining example of patriotism and gratitude. Who needs to take care of those who risked their lives for their country anyway? It's not like they deserve a little support after being deployed to dangerous and traumatic situations. I mean, why spend money on veterans' healthcare or mental health treatment when you can use it for more important things like tax breaks for the wealthy or funding for unnecessary military equipment? It's not like war veterans are important members of society who deserve our respect and support. And let's not forget, they knew what they were signing up for when they joined the military, right? It's not like they were promised care and support for their service to their country. They should just suck it up and deal with their physical and mental injuries on their own, without any assistance from the government they risked their lives to protect. So, let's just continue to ignore the needs of our war veterans, because who cares about the sacrifices they made for our country, right? It's not like they deserve better treatment after serving their country with honor and distinction. Let's just pretend they don't exist and hope they magically disappear, while we enjoy our comfortable lives without any consequences of war. Sounds like a great plan to me.

Let's face it, America.

Angela

 

CHAPTERS:

War veterans • Fast food • Football • The national debt • Guns • Apple products • Hollywood • Social media • Capitalism • Reality TV • Baseball • Nationalism • Shopping • Coca-Cola • BBQ • Disney • College football • The military • Christmas • Patriotism • Reality distortion fields • Las Vegas • Hollywood celebrities • Convenience stores • The American Dream • Income inequality • Bacon • Hollywood award shows • Strip mall • The for-profit prison • Fast fashion • Poor healthcare services • Social media influencers • The Fourth of July • Thanksgiving • Silicon Valley • American exceptionalism • Corn • Sports fandom • Corporate culture • The Electoral College • The American healthcare system • Police brutality • The big box stores • The rise of cyberbullying • Higher education • Opioid epidemic • The crumbling infrastructure • The lack of affordable childcare • Income inequality • Racial discrimination • Homelessness • The gender pay gap • Climate change denial • The lack of affordable housing • The failing public education system • Gun violence • The lack of access to healthy food • The privatization of essential services • The student loan crisis • The high cost of prescription drugs • The lack of mental health resources • The corruption in government • The need for immigration reform • The deteriorating public transportation system • The inadequate response to domestic terrorism • Domestic violence • The rise of misinformation and fake news • The rise of extremist ideologies • The rise of white nationalism • The need for campaign finance reform • The overuse of pesticides and herbicides • The inadequate response to climate change • Privacy • Pollution • Disappearing bees • E-waste • Animal rights

• Language: English
• Publisher: Angela Dirtyface
• Release date: Mar 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215969090

Angela Dirtyface

Well, well, well, if it isn't the adoring public begging for a piece of Angela Dirtyface's exceptional life story. Fine, here it is, straight from the horse's mouth (that's me, Angela, in case you didn't catch that). I'm Angela Dirtyface, the master of my own universe, the queen of self-reliance, and the poster child for going it alone. They say nobody's perfect, but clearly, they haven't met me. I mean, I've single-handedly climbed the mountain of success, without so much as a nod to the plebeians below. Can you say "impressive"? It's been a long journey to the top, and you know what they say: it's lonely up here. But that's fine by me, because I'm all I need to keep myself company. I've spent countless hours honing my craft, perfecting my words, and polishing my prose. And guess what? I did it all by myself. That's right, no shoulder to cry on, no one to hold my hand, and no one to steal my thunder. My writing is a veritable smorgasbord of biting satire, scathing social commentary, and caustic humor. My audience? Nothing more than passive observers in my grand journey to self-actualization. So buckle up, buttercup, because it's my story, my triumph, and my glory. You're just along for the ride. As the embodiment of all things sarcastic and satirical, I've amassed a vast body of work that spans the gamut from mildly amusing to downright hilarious. So be prepared for a wild ride through Angela Dirtyface's world, where everything is fair game, and no one is safe from my razor-sharp wit. In conclusion, if you want a front-row seat to the captivating life and times of yours truly, Angela Dirtyface, you've come to the right place. Just don't forget who's in charge around here. After all, it's my world, and you're just living in it. Oh, and one last thing: don't bother singing my praises. I already know how great I am. MWAH! A great kiss for me. Angela

Book preview

Prologue

IT'S TIME TO FACE THE reality, America.

These chapters represent the worst aspects of American culture.

From mindless consumerism to toxic masculinity to jingoistic nationalism, these obsessions are holding us back from becoming the kind of society that truly values human dignity, equality, and compassion.

It's time to break free from these harmful patterns of thought and behavior and embrace a more enlightened, empathetic, and inclusive vision of America.

Only then can we truly live up to our potential as a nation.

Angela

War veterans

THE ABANDONMENT OF war veterans in the USA, what a shining example of patriotism and gratitude. Who needs to take care of those who risked their lives for their country anyway? It's not like they deserve a little support after being deployed to dangerous and traumatic situations.

I mean, why spend money on veterans' healthcare or mental health treatment when you can use it for more important things like tax breaks for the wealthy or funding for unnecessary military equipment? It's not like war veterans are important members of society who deserve our respect and support.

And let's not forget, they knew what they were signing up for when they joined the military, right? It's not like they were promised care and support for their service to their country. They should just suck it up and deal with their physical and mental injuries on their own, without any assistance from the government they risked their lives to protect.

So, let's just continue to ignore the needs of our war veterans, because who cares about the sacrifices they made for our country, right? It's not like they deserve better treatment after serving their country with honor and distinction. Let's just pretend they don't exist and hope they magically disappear, while we enjoy our comfortable lives without any consequences of war. Sounds like a great plan to me.

Oh, the joys of being a homeless veteran in the USA. Who needs a roof over their head, a warm bed to sleep in, or access to basic amenities when you can live on the streets instead?

I mean, it's not like these veterans deserve better after serving their country and protecting our freedoms, right? They should be grateful to be living in cardboard boxes and begging for spare change on the sidewalk.

And let's not forget how much they love living in unsanitary and dangerous conditions, exposed to the elements and vulnerable to violence and disease. It's like a vacation for them, really.

And don't even get me started on the job opportunities for homeless veterans. Who wouldn't want to work a minimum wage job with no benefits or job security, while struggling with physical and mental health issues caused by their time in the military?

So, let's just continue to ignore the plight of homeless veterans, because who cares about their well-being and dignity, right? They should just be happy to live in squalor and hope that one day someone decides to help them out. After all, they made the choice to serve their country and protect our freedoms, so it's not like they deserve any better treatment.

Let's face it, America.

Oh, a solution for the problem of homeless veterans in the USA? That sounds like a waste of time and resources, doesn't it? I mean, why bother helping those who risked their lives for their country when we could just ignore them instead?

But since you insist, I suppose we could try a few things. Maybe we could start by providing more affordable housing options and increasing access to mental health services. But why stop there? Let's also make sure they have access to job training programs and employment opportunities that pay a living wage. And let's not forget about healthcare, which is critical for addressing the physical and mental health needs of homeless veterans.

But wait, that sounds like a lot of work and investment, doesn't it? And who's going to pay for all of that? Certainly not the government or wealthy individuals who could afford to contribute to the well-being of those who served their country.

So, let's just forget about finding a solution and continue to let homeless veterans suffer on the streets. It's not like they deserve our help or support, right? Let's just keep turning a blind eye to their struggles and hope that the problem magically disappears. After all, that's always worked so well in the past.

Fast food

THE EPITOME OF AMERICAN cuisine.

Why bother with things like nutrition or healthy eating when you can have a greasy, salty, calorie-laden meal in seconds?

And let's not forget the contribution to obesity, the exploitation of workers, and the environmental impact of industrial agriculture. After all, why care about anything other than satisfying your immediate cravings?

Let's face it, America.

Fast food is not just a harmless indulgence. It's a symbol of our culture's addiction to convenience, instant gratification, and consumerism.

From the health problems that come with a diet high in fast food to the exploitation of low-wage workers in the food industry to the environmental devastation of industrial agriculture, fast food is a reflection of the worst aspects of our food system.

But it's not all burgers and fries. We can choose to break free from the culture of fast food and embrace a diet that's not only healthier for us, but for the planet and for the animals too.

We can choose to prioritize sustainable, ethical farming practices and support small-scale producers who are committed to responsible stewardship of the land.

And we can choose to value the labor of food workers and demand fair wages and working conditions for all.

So, let's challenge the status quo, America. Let's reject the notion that fast food is the only option for our busy lifestyles and recognize the deep-seated problems that it represents.

Let's demand a food system that prioritizes health, sustainability, and social responsibility. And let's choose foods that nourish our bodies and our planet, not just our taste buds.

Only then can we truly create a world that works for everyone, not just the profits of the fast food industry.

Football

THE SPORT THAT DOMINATES American culture for months every year.

The quintessential American sport.

Why bother with things like brain injuries or domestic violence when you can have a violent, hyper-masculine spectacle that dominates our culture?

And let's not forget the systemic racism, the exploitation of college athletes, and the commercialization of amateur sports. After all, why care about anything other than the thrill of the game?

Let's face it, America.

Football is not just a harmless pastime. It's a symbol of our culture's obsession with violence, dominance, and toxic masculinity.

From the health problems that come with repeated head injuries to the exploitation of college athletes who generate billions of dollars in revenue for their schools and conferences to the glorification of violence on and off the field, football is a reflection of the worst aspects of our sports culture.

But it's not all touchdowns and tailgates.

We can choose to break free from the grip of football and demand reform that prioritizes the health and well-being of athletes, both professional and amateur.

We can choose to support initiatives that address the racial and economic disparities within football and promote fair compensation for athletes who generate billions of dollars in revenue for their schools and conferences.

So, let's challenge the status quo, America.

Let's reject the notion that football is just a harmless sport and recognize the deep-seated problems that it represents.

Let's demand a sports culture that prioritizes health, education, and social responsibility. And let's support athletes who are committed to excellence both on and off the field, not just as commodities for our entertainment.

Only then can we truly create a world that works for everyone, not just the power brokers of football.

The national debt

AS A WOMAN, I CAN'T help but roll my eyes at the national debt. I mean, it's like the government is trying to outdo my credit card bill each month!

Oh, the national debt. Don't you just love it when the government spends trillions of dollars on use-less programs and military spending, all while racking up a debt that will take generations to pay off?

But hey, who needs financial responsibility when you can just spend money like it's going out of style, right? After all, it's not like the debt will ever come back to haunt us. Oh wait, it will.

But let's not worry about that now. Let's just keep on spending money like it's monopoly money and hope for the best. I mean, it's not like we have a responsibility to future generations or anything, right?

And what about those pesky budget deficits? Who cares about those? They're just a pesky little detail that we can worry about later. I mean, it's not like our spending habits have any consequences, right?

So, let's just keep on spending money like there's no tomorrow and hope that the debt fairy will come and magically make it all go away. After all, if we're going to go down in flames, we might as well do it in style.

Let's face it, America.

If you really want a solution to the national debt, here's a radical idea: how about we start spending less money than we make? I know, I know, it's a crazy concept, but it just might work. We could even prioritize our spending and invest in things that actually benefit society, like education, healthcare, and infrastructure.

It's time for the government to get its financial act together. We can't keep spending like there's no tomorrow and expect to leave a stable economic future for our children and grandchildren.

And let's talk about those politicians. It's like they're trying to impress each other with how much money they can throw around, all while ignoring the needs of the people they were elected to serve. Can we get some fiscal responsibility up in here, please?

But enough with the ranting, let's talk solutions. Here are a few ideas:

Cut the fat. There's no need to spend millions of dollars on programs that aren't working or on projects that benefit a select few. It's time to prioritize spending and invest in things that benefit the greater good.

Increase revenue. That's right, it's time to make some money. We could do this by increasing taxes on the wealthy or closing tax loopholes that allow corporations to avoid paying their fair share.

Invest in education. Education is the key to a strong economy and a bright future. By investing in education, we can ensure that our workforce is well-prepared for the jobs of the future and can compete in a global market.

Embrace technology. Technology can help us be more efficient and reduce waste. By embracing new technologies, we can save money and reduce our impact on the environment.

Hold politicians accountable. We need politicians who are willing to put the needs of the people first and who are willing to make tough choices for the greater good. It's time to hold our elected officials accountable for their actions (or lack thereof).

These are just a few ideas, but the bottom line is that we need to get serious about the national debt. We can't keep ignoring it and hoping it will go away. It's time to take action and build a stable financial future for ourselves and our children.

But hey, what do I know? I'm just a snarky woman. Let's just keep on spending and hope for the best. What could possibly go wrong?

Guns

THE DEFENDERS OF FREEDOM.

Ah, guns. The great equalizer. Because nothing says freedom like being able to carry around a deadly weapon wherever you go, right?