Black Unicorns: Invisible in Plain Sight

By Stephen Tolbert

The twentieth century was a time of evolution from what we were as a nation to what we are now. Unfortunately, the familiar history of America taught in our schools and celebrated during our holidays doesn't match the reality experienced by many.

By detailing events during those years of change, this book presents an alternative perspective of American history to foster a much-needed constructive dialogue about race.

If we can honestly and calmly discuss the past, and bridge the major gaps in our perceptions about our history as a country, we will understand each other better and, hopefully, put our past behind us where it belongs.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Fulton Books, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 5, 2022
• ISBN: 9781637108383

Book preview

cover.jpg

Black Unicorns: Invisible in Plain Sight

Stephen Tolbert

Copyright © 2021 Stephen Tolbert

All rights reserved

First Edition

Fulton Books

Meadville, PA

Published by Fulton Books 2021

ISBN 978-1-63710-837-6 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63710-838-3 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Introduction

America's Orphans

The 1940s

Philadelphia

My Roots

The 1950s

The Media

Being Americans

Early School Years

The 1960s

High School

The Suburbs

My First Job

College

The 1970s

Transition to Adulthood

The World of Work

A Door Opens

Corporate Life

The 1980s

Adapting to Change

Lesson Number 1

Hello, SMEC

Lesson Number 2

Lesson Number 3

Goodbye, SMEC

Tough Decisions

The Main Line

My Children

Lesson Number 4

Lesson Number 5

The World Beckons

Lesson Number 6

Lesson Number 7

Lesson Number 8

The 1990s

Silicon Valley

The 2000s

Lesson Number 9

Lesson Number 10

Lesson Number 11

Lesson Number 12

Lesson Number 13

Choices

Staying Overseas

Going Home

The 2010s

Lesson Number 14

2017—Retirement

Lesson Number 15

What Now?

Regrets

2020—What Next?

About the Author

Introduction

Unicorn [yü-nə-ˌkȯrn]—a creature of the imagination; something that exists only in legends, myths, or fiction.

From the perspective of some, I am a unicorn. That I exist is a surprise, since many people judge me based on who they think I am supposed to be before they know anything about who I am. There are millions just like me, but old stereotypes persist. We are invisible to those that refuse to see us.

This is my story and gives my perception of how the US has evolved during my life over the last seventy years. I included snippets of historical information to add perspective to what was acceptable thinking at various times so people will understand the contrast between what Black life was like in the past and what it is like now. Young Blacks will realize how far we have come, and Whites will understand why so much residual anger remains.

There have always been successful Blacks. The most visible have been clustered in sports and entertainment. A lot of young Blacks aspire to those careers, but success in both is extremely difficult, so few achieve it. Those that do usually become rich and famous and probably have an easier time navigating daily life. They may have to deal with the nuisance of pestering fans, but the police would be more inclined to ask for their autograph instead of identification. I am sure they have their own unique problems, but an expectation of mischief isn't one of them.

I never had athletic prowess, so I am not a sports figure. I'm not an entertainer and don't make movies or music. I'm just an average person who had to grow up and find a way to do what everyone wants to do; have a decent place to live, raise a family, and provide my children with the tools to become productive adults.

There are many accomplished Blacks outside of sports and entertainment, but the public doesn't know about them because they live lives out of the limelight. Many started with a lot less but achieved significantly more than I have in spite of obstacles beyond anything I ever had to deal with.

A common thread we share is how unique some in society make us feel when they discover we don't conform to a stereotype. It makes me feel rare when I know I'm not.

Because of a few unrelated events and timely circumstances, I had what some consider to be an exciting career with the added luxury of enjoying what I did for a living.

As fortunate as my opportunities were, they didn't relieve me of my responsibility to be prepared for them. Education matters, the lack of an education makes it impossible to take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves. The old saying, Success is when preparation meets opportunity, is very true. Successful people make it look easy, but behind the scenes, they work harder than the average person. Achievement requires effort because success without effort is a fantasy.

Good things can happen in unpredictable ways, and what seems inconsequential in the moment can be life-changing. Opportunities abound that fall short of stardom that are more attainable. They make it possible to have a good life, with economic security and a sense of adventure.

Every life has challenges. Being Black in America just imposes additional ones. But with effort, what is possible is far beyond what most people assume is probable. What were once considered unrealistic goals for Blacks in America are achievable.

In 1945, it was against military regulations for a Black officer to give orders to a White soldier. Fifty years later, a Black was chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the highest rank in the military.

In 1950, Blacks were regularly denied the right to vote. Sixty years later a Black president was elected.

Times have changed, and the country has evolved. Things aren't perfect. Nothing ever is. There are still some residual obstacles to Black achievement, a lot of them self-inflicted. People try to blame racism for the lack of progress because they have a 1940s mindset about the impact of race in limiting their achievement.

It's hard to appreciate how far we have come without understanding what our normal used to be. Some of my comments may come across as very negative, but they reflect what was reality not long ago. The current racial angst is better understood if we examine our past, admit what it was honestly, and embrace the present. This does not mean forgetting it. It means recognizing it is the past and not clinging to the resentments created by it that make it impossible to go forward.

A good thing about America is it has changed over time. Some things take too long to change, but some things change faster than our ability to adapt to them. Our past created deep scars that take time to heal, but like all wounds, constantly picking at them makes healing impossible. Too many people define today's reality with yesterday's mentality. We need to understand the past to learn from it, but not stay stuck in it. I was shaped by that past but adapted and moved forward when circumstances changed. I would like to think that I was one of many Blacks who were catalysts for those changes.

Even if the US was completely devoid of racism, life would still be a challenge. I would like to motivate young Blacks to think seriously about their future while they still have time to prepare for a good one. Many of them leave school ill-prepared for life's challenges, but I can't place the blame solely on the schools. Too many students and their parents don't make education a priority and accept the mediocrity in some schools, so they share in the blame.

The phrase I wish I knew what I know now when I was young is valid for everyone over the age of fifty. Some refer to it