The Other Side of Forgiveness

By Laura L. Groves

Living with suppressed emotional wounds and unforgiveness is detrimental to a life of wholeness, freedom, and peace. For Laura Groves, her transparent journey to The Other Side of Forgiveness was marred with mistakes and hindrances. Sustained solely by God’s grace, she found release from the guilt and shame she had unknowingly carried most of her life.

Study questions are included for personal reflection or study groups.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Mar 16, 2023
• ISBN: 9781664293519

Laura L. Groves

Laura L. Groves earned a Bachelor of Arts degree and a Master of Arts degree in music from Ball State University. She retired from thirty-six years as an elementary music teacher, having written the musical productions for her students to perform. Groves is active in her church as a teacher and leads praise and worship in various venues. She resides in Kokomo, Indiana, where she provides private lessons in music and art.

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ISBN: 978-1-6642-9350-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-9352-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-9351-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023903296

WestBow Press rev. date: 03/14/2023

Scripture quotations marked AMP are taken from the Amplified®

Bible, Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by

The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are from the ESV Bible® (The Holy Bible,

English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing

ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version.

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Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®.

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Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible,

New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale

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Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American

Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,

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This book is dedicated to my devoted father, Ronald E. Groves,

who exemplified the security found in a father’s love. Because of his

example, I never wavered in my understanding, devotion, and trust

in my Heavenly Father. Dad, I love you with all of my heart.

CONTENTS

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1     Encountering God

Chapter 2     Unpacking for the Journey

Chapter 3     Divulging the Truth

Chapter 4     Shame and Lies

Chapter 5     The Rosebush

Chapter 6     X Marks the Spot

Chapter 7     Choosing to Forgive

Chapter 8     Caregiver

Chapter 9     Peeling Away Layers

Chapter 10   Saying Goodbye

Chapter 11   Moving Forward

Chapter 12   Why Forgive?

Chapter 13   What Is Forgiveness?

Chapter 14   Hindrances to Forgiveness

Chapter 15   Anger toward God

Chapter 16   Forgiving Ourselves

Chapter 17   He Is a Forgiving God

Chapter 18   The Other Side of Forgiveness

Study Questions

About the Author

FOREWORD

As a mental health professional, I have had the privilege of meeting many interesting people from diverse backgrounds. When I met Laura Groves thirty-three years ago in a psychiatric hospital setting, I had no idea it was the birth of a lasting friendship. She was a talented and vastly creative person, with a sense of humor to match. We connected in our mutual belief that God was invested in a deep and loving relationship with each of us and in helping us become healthy, whole individuals.

Laura struggled with the aftereffects of childhood abuse and trauma. At the time, her emotional pain was intense, but she believed God had answers for her. She was on an incredible healing journey, and while she had no idea exactly where it might take her, she was certain that God was directing her path. She committed herself to following where He would lead.

Our friendship continued after Laura left the hospital setting. As I came to know her heart—the things that mattered most to her and the things that had caused her pain—my admiration for her grew. She was, and is, a person of great integrity to whom truth and kindness are essential. I watched from a distance as she interacted with and provided care for those who had hurt her. I saw firsthand how God used these experiences to move her toward personal healing.

In this book, the reader walks with Laura through her life events and healing journey. We hear the stories of her pain and triumphs and always how God’s presence was made clear to her along the way. She relates to the reader there were times when she was tempted to give up and abandon the process, but God would see her through. Her narrative is humble and honest. She describes her mental health diagnoses and is open about the embarrassment and fear of stigma she experienced.

During the latter part of the book, Laura’s teaching skills shine as she applies well-chosen scripture references to the challenge of forgiving those who hurt us. She describes the things that helped her move forward on the road to forgiveness and guides the reader on what pitfalls to avoid. She does not sugarcoat the difficulties and reminds us that each person’s journey will be different. She addresses the difficult issue of anger and explains its correlation to forgiveness. In the end, she explains the benefits of choosing forgiveness over revenge and retribution.

As I read this book, I found it to be very accurate in regard to any references to mental health. While Laura’s struggles centered on childhood abuse, she is quick to note there are many different types of life traumas a person may face. Forgiveness of self, others, and God may be needful for a variety of reasons but always brings greater peace and spiritual growth.

This book supports my experience that forgiveness is a lifelong practice. It is rarely a one-and-done process. It is a lifelong commitment to be aware of our emotions. It is the pathway to freedom and inner peace. It is a persistent choice to choose God’s heart over our own human inclinations.

In their lifetime, every human will experience emotional distress resulting from the actions of others. No one is exempt from emotional insult and injury. Laura Groves’s story and teaching will help people in all settings and stages of life find freedom from the intense pain of life traumas and find the freedom that comes from forgiving others.

When I met Laura Groves thirty-three years ago, I had no idea that I would be privileged to be a small part of her story. This written account of her walk with God through recovery and toward forgiveness is one I have been gifted to observe as it happened. I pray and expect this book will help each reader find encouragement and direction for their own walk with God toward wholeness.

Melissa K. Beard, MSW, LCSW

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I want to lovingly acknowledge my sister Marna J. Groves for her patience in fielding my myriad of questions throughout the two years invested in completing this book. She nurtured and validated my ability to write this story. Marna is the true writer in my family, and her instruction enabled me to complete this labor of love.

Thank you to my dear friend Melissa K. Beard for the thoughtful foreword in this book. I appreciate how she lovingly tells me the truth, even when it hurts. Her friendship is an incredible treasure.

Thanks also to my mentor, traveling buddy, cheerleader, and friend, Carolyn F. Fording, for her unwavering confidence in God’s ability to deliver and set anyone free. She loves God with every fiber of her being.

I want to acknowledge my family and friends who remained steadfast, even during the ugly times. Their continued acceptance and support fueled my need to persevere when life looked hopeless.

I’m thankful for the counselors the Lord placed in my life to lead me through each new leg of the journey.

I also want to thank Dr. William Salsbery, Carol Croxford, Andrea Duvall, and Joy Ariza for their time and efforts in the initial editing process.

Thank you, readers, who had the courage to select a book about forgiveness. May God reveal His heart on matters relevant to your healing. May you be inspired and emboldened to press onward as you journey to the other side of forgiveness.

Finally, and most importantly, I give all praise and honor to my precious Savior, the ultimate forgiver, Jesus Christ. May He be exalted and glorified in every area of my life, and may this book be a tool that guides others to a deeper comprehension of His unconditional love and marvelous grace.

Being confident of this very thing, that He Who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6 NKJV)

INTRODUCTION

On a sweltering August day, I prefer air conditioning to a hot outdoor adventure, but this summer day in 2003 was especially enticing. The midmorning sunshine issued a personal invitation for me to leave my dismal room and embark on my first journey in many weeks. I had been homebound for two months while recovering from a knee replacement. Cooped up and bored with my surroundings, I decided it was time to brave the elements. I dressed in a cozy T-shirt and shorts that wouldn’t rub against the tender scar on the front of my left knee. The necessary support hose I wore made for a particularly fashionable, trend-setting ensemble. I grabbed my cane and headed to a local strip mall where I could walk the aisle of a single store instead of taking on the big shopping mall where the Silver Sneakers crew kept fit. I felt adventurous, but only if it involved a minimal number of steps.

I was amazed to locate a parking spot close to the