No Future in Dying

By Simon Quellen Field

What if someone from the future could send messages into the head of someone in our time?

And what if the only possible recipient was a schizophrenic who was used to hearing voices, and everyone he knows is used to him hearing voices?

And when he starts getting rich from lottery and horse-racing wins and stock tips, he gets the interest of the police, the mob, and the SEC?

• Language: English
• Publisher: MicroScience Press
• Release date: Mar 7, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215169223

Book preview

Chapter One

The cellphone had long since run out of charge, but Brian held it to his ear anyway, so that people wouldn’t look at him funny when he talked to the voices in his head.

He walked slowly down the sidewalk, looking briefly at the attractive young woman walking towards him, and then quickly lowering his gaze. When he looked up, he saw her give him the look. Sometimes holding a cellphone to your ear wasn’t enough.

You were saying? said the voice in his head.

Henry won’t let me do stuff like that, Brian said, referring to his brother, while pretending to talk to the phone. Henry says I can’t handle money. Especially after... I mean, I always screw up.

And what do you think?

I don’t know, Brian said. I have to do what the voices say. Sometimes they say to do things Henry doesn’t like.

Why do you think you have to do what the voices say?

"I don’t have to. It’s just, I really, really want to. Whatever the voice wants, I want."

But you don’t feel that way with me, right?

You’re different, Brian said. You can hear me. The other voices... He didn’t finish the sentence. There was an awkward pause.

The other voices what?

"They just talk. They’re really, um, needy. They don’t tell me things I can use. They don’t help out. They just need things."

And you want to help them.

"I need to help them. It’s like the most important thing in the world. And then I do the thing, and it’s just stupid. Like, why did I do that? If I take the pills, then they all shut up, but the pills make me sleepy and I’m tired all the time, and I don’t want to do anything. I hate taking the pills."

Just keep calling me whenever the voices make you want to do something. That seems to be working, right? When we talk things through?

It does. It gives me time to think. It makes them not so important. Like when they want silly things, when I talk to you about it, I can see they are silly. It’s like when I talk to Doctor Hargreaves. Except when I talk to him it’s too late. I already did the stupid thing.

Well, I can’t always drop everything and help, but I’ve arranged to be notified whenever you say my name.

I can’t pronounce your name.

When you say Gerry. That’s good enough. If I’m asleep, it may take me a while to answer. Or if I’m in a meeting, or something. But just keep calling, and I’ll wake up, or take a break.

You have meetings?

Yeah. I try to get out of them. But the temporal physics lab is a busy place, and sometimes we need to discuss things.

I loved physics. Back before... Another pause.

Before the voices?

Yeah. I was good at it. Math, physics, chemistry. I love that stuff. But I got kicked out, when... He paused yet again.

Yeah. It’s rough, Gerry said. But you are handling it much better than the others. All of the others are locked up, one way or another. Prison or hospitals. That’s why I need you. You have some freedom to act.

But you won’t make me do stupid things, Brian said.

I promise. Besides, I can’t make you do things. Not like the voices. I can try to talk you into something, but if you aren’t comfortable, you won’t feel a need to do it anyway.

Except I want to help.

Of course. And I really appreciate that. It means a lot.

Brian had reached the corner, and he pushed the button for the walk signal.

So that thing you wanted me to...

Forget it. I’ll do some research and find another way. Something Henry won’t mind you doing. But it might be something just a little bit out of your comfort zone. I know you’re shy, but almost anything we do is going to involve talking to people.

I didn’t used to be shy. Before.

Good. Then you might still have some useful social skills. Gerry laughed to let Brian know he wasn’t being critical.

I had some moves. Back in the day. They both laughed, and Brian looked around to see if anyone was paying attention. Everyone on the street was busy with their own phones, and no one took notice of him at all.

The light changed, and Brian walked into the street.

Talk to you later, Gerry said.

Later. Brian acknowledged, smiling. It had been a while since he had a friend.

He worried about what Henry might say about Gerry’s plans. It was hard to talk to Henry about Gerry. Henry just didn’t want to listen. I’m not the idiot he thinks I am, Brian thought. I’m smarter than he is. I just do stupid things, because of the voices.

In the end, he had to admit to himself that if someone keeps doing stupid things, anyone might draw the same conclusion.

But Gerry hadn’t insisted that he follow the plan. He wasn’t like the other voices. And Brian couldn’t think of any reason why the plan was stupid. It might not work. It probably wouldn’t work. But even if it failed completely, nothing bad would happen. It might be embarrassing, but Brian was often embarrassed, and had learned to shrug it off.

I’ll just see if she’s there, he thought. Henry didn’t have to know. He tried to remember the woman’s name. He remembered her mother’s name. Miranda. But he couldn’t remember the woman’s name. Maybe by the time he got there he would remember.

It’s not today. It’s tomorrow. She just has to know it’s tomorrow, not today. How can it be stupid to tell her that?

––––––––

-oOo-

He can't keep dialing 911 every time he needs a ride home, Liz said. Henry pictured her face. He was glad this was a phone call and not video.

I know. I'm sorry. I'll talk to him again. But you know Brian, he's...

Special. That’s what he keeps saying. Look, this was the third time. If I hadn't been the one on dispatch, he'd be in a lot of trouble.

I know. I do everything I can. There's only me. We can't afford full-time help. And I have to work, so there are times when there's just no one to watch him.

Look, I gave him my personal cell number. I told him to call me instead of 911. I'm not supposed to do that, but if he can't reach you, at least he can talk to someone who knows his, um, you know, special circumstances.

He should have been able to reach me. I have my phone with me always. It's always charged. Just in case.

He said your number was in his other phone, and he didn't remember it.

His other phone? Where did he get a new phone? And what happened to his old phone? And how could he buy a new phone anyway? He has no money.

He said Miranda's daughter gave it to him, Liz said.

Who is Miranda? Henry asked, puzzled.

I thought you'd know. He says that she is his fiancé.

Well, he says a lot of things. You can't believe any of it, you know. It's all in his head. He's...

Special. I know. Look, I have to go. He's at the video arcade. He said you'd know which one.

Yeah, I know which one. He knows the girl at the booth. She'll keep him busy until I get there. Look, I'm really sorry about this.

I know. I'll see you Saturday. I'm looking forward to that.

Me too. And thanks.

Let's hope this is the last time.

Right. Henry was about to say thank you again but the phone disconnected.

Henry called Brian’s phone. As it had the last four times, it went straight to voicemail. He didn’t bother to leave a message.

He thought about Liz, and Saturday. It had been ages since he’d had a real date with a woman, and things seemed to be going well with Liz so far. And she already knew about Brian, and was still interested in getting to know Henry. That was definitely a plus.

So, Brian has a new phone, he thought. How on earth had that happened? He should have asked Liz for the new number. He considered bothering her again, but a police dispatcher is a busy job. He could wait until he found Brian.

––––––––

-oOo-

He keeps saying he'll have quarters and dimes soon, Rebecca said over the din of the arcade. I gave him some tokens so he could play but he said he wanted to save them up for something. He knows he can only use them here, right?

Yeah. I don't think he was saying quarters and dimes. It's part of his thing, you know. His fantasy. The Quarterdyne Thune. His imaginary friend Gerry is supposed to live there.

Right. How is old Gerry? Still protecting him from the Dark Forces?

I guess. He hasn't had any episodes in a while. At least not any of the really bad ones. He still gets the terrors, but then he remembers Gerry and calms down a bit. His therapist says it's a survival thing. Mechanism. Says he's one of the lucky ones.

He told me not to be jealous of his new girlfriend, Rebecca said.

Henry laughed. That's a new one.

Rebecca laughed in turn. I told him good for him. Maybe she'll keep him out of trouble.

If only. Hey, thanks again, for, you know. What do I owe you for the tokens?

Get out of here. It's Brian. We all look out for Brian. He's... Rebecca paused for effect.

Special, Henry said, grinning. I know. Oh, boy, do I know.

––––––––

-oOo-

On Saturday, Henry was feeling nervous. He hadn’t dated in years, and was terrified he’d screw this up somehow. Probably because of Brian. He quickly amended that thought. That’s not fair at all. If I mess this up, it’s all on me.

Liz seemed comfortable, filling in silences with small talk before they got awkward.

The girl who won the lottery is Brian's new girlfriend? Liz asked.

Is that what he told you? Henry said, putting two glasses down on the bar table. He probably heard about her on the television and worked it into his fantasy. That happens a lot.

Well, someone bought him a new phone. Top of the line. Brand new. Something like fifteen hundred bucks.

He told you that?

You didn't see it?

"I didn't even ask about it. Or how he lost his old phone. If he actually did, and there is a new phone. We were kind of talking about something else."

You were giving him shit.

Well, yeah. Calling 911 again. For the third time.

Liz smiled. Hey, if he hadn't called 911 the second time, we'd have never met.

Well, I guess there's that to be thankful for. Not all of his adventures work out so well. Except for him, that is. Things always work out for him.

Because you're always there for him.

Of course, he says it's because of Gerry. I get no credit.

You're a saint. I’m sure everyone knows it.

Hey, Gerry is great, don't get me wrong. Before Gerry, man, it was really hard. He was impossible. Brian, I mean. The paranoia. Whenever he'd go off his meds. Which was always. Since Gerry, he doesn't need the pills. He functions. I mean, he still wanders off. But he doesn't go all... He let the unfinished sentence hang in the air.

That must have been hard.

It was just the two of us, you know. After Mom died. And it was, what you said, really hard. We had the house, and I could hire someone to watch him, and they could live in my old bedroom. But that didn't last. I almost moved back in, but I knew that would be a disaster. One of us would surely have killed the other. His therapist and I got him on some drugs that seemed to work, but after a while he refused to take them.

And then Gerry came along, Liz offered.

Oh, no. Things were hell for a long time. Gerry is recent. I’m not certain when he came along, actually. But I noticed at some point that Brian was getting into less trouble, and he started talking about the Quarterdyne Thune and this whole fantasy about things that move at the speed of light so they experience no time, and everything happens at once for them, so there’s no cause and effect. He must have been watching some science program or something, he loves that stuff.

Everything happens at once?

For the thing that moves at the speed of light. Time slows down when you go faster. At the speed of light, time stops. And Brian says that prevents paradoxes when you do time travel.

He thinks he is traveling in time?

No. Things with mass can’t do that. But information can go both ways, according to his fantasy. The past and the future can talk to one another. It’s all quite elaborate, and Hargreaves says it’s quite common in Jameson’s patients. The delusions are super elaborate, very creative, because the patients are all very high IQ.

Hargreaves is?

His therapist. He’s writing a book on Jameson’s patients. He drives for six hours to come see Brian. For research. He’s trying to figure out what keeps Brian out of jail. Or out of an institution.

Did you tell him that was you?

Well, not in so many words. But I’m sure...

She waited, but Henry seemed to be lost in thought for a moment.

I’m sure you played the biggest part, Liz said, filling in the gap in the conversation.

He told you he has a fiancé? Henry asked.

That’s what he said.

Rebecca mentioned a new girlfriend. But he was alone at the arcade, so it’s probably part of the fantasy. Like Gerry. Still, imagine if he did find someone. That would be so...

Liz was getting good at detecting when a sentence wasn’t going to be finished. She’d have to be very understanding. Like you are, she said.

Henry startled at the compliment. The whole date had been about Brian. It was going to be a total disaster. He searched his limited dating experience for a way out.

So, he said. How about you? Have any favorite things you like to do?

She thought for a moment. I like to read, she said. She watched his face, and then smiled broadly. Oh, you mean like for a third date! Um, dancing is nice. And hiking. And I love to cook, if you just want to relax at home. Maybe a picnic, we could go feed ducks at the lake.

Henry was smiling too, suddenly feeling much more at ease. All of those sound great.

Do you like sailing? My dad has a little C&C 41 we could take out day sailing in the bay. I can handle it myself if you’re not...

Henry cocked his head just a little bit. You could show me what to do, he said. I could help. I was on a boat once, in Boy Scouts. We practiced knots.

Liz laughed. No knots to memorize. Everything’s cam cleats and shit these days. Stuff, I mean. Cam cleats and stuff. Anyway, no knots. I’ll tell you what to do with the jib, and I can handle the rest. By the end of the day, you’ll be a pro.

It’s a date, Henry said, smiling. But then he was out of things to say, and the silence dragged into dangerous lengths until he was rescued.

We could call her, Liz said.

Call who?

Lottery girl. Ask her if she knows Brian.

No way. She’s probably not answering any phone calls anyway. Every scammer in the country is probably ringing her phone. If it’s even listed.

It’s not. I checked.

You what?

I checked her out. After Brian called. Just to see.

You didn’t call her, though. Because it’s unlisted.

Henry, I work with detectives.

What do you mean?

I mean, unlisted numbers are not a problem.

You called her?

No, I wouldn’t do that. Not without talking to you, first. I’m just saying, I have her number. And her address. We could just call, and ask that one simple question.

Why would you do that?

To see if it’s true! What if it’s not a fantasy? Wouldn’t you want to know?

Henry was speechless. Again. And the conversation had become about Brian. Again. He tried to change the subject.

I’m more interested in that sailboat, he said, steering the conversation back to her. How long have you been sailing?

Liz did not pursue the Lottery Girl topic. Since I was a kid. Dad loves to sail. We used to rent boats when I was little. But after I was out of college and the child support stopped and Mom remarried, he had the money to buy his own. Forty-one-foot racer/cruiser, with a diesel engine for when there’s no wind, or when you want to slide in or out of the slip. He takes it out on the bay on weekends if he’s not working a case.

He’s a cop? Police officer. Um, detective?

God no! Liz laughed. Attorney. Mostly does plea deals for white-collar criminals, but every once in a while, something will go to trial, and he’s busy for weeks or months. Evenings, weekends. Drove Mom nuts. She kicked him out when one of them was actually some young thing he had on the side. I’m pretty sure. I was too young. They don’t talk about it.

Wow, Henry said quietly.

Yeah. But hey, I turned out perfect, Liz said, beaming the big smile again.

You certainly did, Brian agreed.

Later that evening, Henry was preparing for bed when the phone rang. It was Liz.

She wants to meet you, she said.

Who?

Lottery Girl.

You called her?

I had to know, Liz said. I figured if she didn’t know him, I’d just leave it at that. But Brian told her all about you, and she really wants to meet you. And she thinks it’s really cute that Brian thinks she’s his girlfriend, and she wants to make sure you’re OK with her seeing him again. I think she’s interested.

In Brian, Henry said, incredulous.

No shit. I mean, yes. Brian.

Does she know...

Everything. She knows about Gerry, the whole fantasy, the Thune whatever. His therapist. She remembered his name, which is more than I did.

And she’s...

Interested. That’s the way she said it. But I heard her voice, and the way she talked about him. I think she’s more than interested. I think she’s hot for him.

For Brian.

Yeah. Hey, Brian’s a catch! I mean, if it weren’t for, well, you know. But he’s good looking, smart, great sense of humor, creative...

Creative. That’s one way to put it.

Hey, you’re not going to ruin it for them, are you? I mean, be nice! Give them a chance.

Henry was speechless. Again.

Liz waited, then said Tomorrow evening. At La Fondue. She booked a table for eight o’clock. Just the three of us, no Brian. Her treat.

She what?

Henry, she’s a millionaire. Multi. She went for the lump sum. She wants to spring for dinner at a fancy place. And she wants to meet you. And me, I guess, but mostly you.

Gee, I...

Don’t back out. Don’t you dare back out. She’s really nice. On the phone. And in the photos, she’s kind of pretty. Nice smile. Cute. Athletic, but it’s hard to tell from the pictures on the web. She has a Facebook page, but there’s not much on it, except for tons of people commenting on the lottery thing. Please say you’ll come. It can be our third date.

I thought we were going sailing, Henry said, stalling.

That can be our fourth date. Henry, it’s La Fondue. You’ll love it. Eight o’clock. Say yes.

OK. Yes.

Great! And you know what they say about the third date.

What do they say?

Don’t make me blush. And you’re going to love sailing.

––––––––

-oOo-

Chapter Two

That's how I met Brian, you know, Jenny said, Playing the lottery.

Liz nodded, and speared a piece if French bread on her fondue fork.

He doesn't play, Henry said. He has no money.

Jenny smiled.  My mother used to play. Once a year. On her birthday. She'd play the one number. Her birthday numbers. Every year. She'd take me with her, and we'd buy an ice cream and a lottery ticket. When she died, I kept doing it. Every year. To remember those times. And that's when Brian told me I was doing it wrong.

Wrong? Henry asked. How so?

He came up to the counter when I was buying the ticket. He said 'You're Miranda's daughter, aren't you?' I guess I must have told the clerk her name. But Brian told me the number was off by one. I thought he was making a joke at first, but he kept insisting. He said the winning number was the day after her birthday. I just laughed and said maybe I should buy two tickets, and we'd see which number was right. And you know what he said?

What? Liz asked.

He said if I bought the second ticket, and it won, he'd let me keep all the money. We were laughing so hard, the clerk, me, and like four people in line, but he was so serious. I plunked down another dollar and bought the ticket. Day after mom's birthday. I told him if it won, I'd split it with him fifty-fifty.

So which ticket won? Liz asked.

His. Of course, Jenny said. Gerry told him it would. Told him mom's name. Told him when and where to find me.

Henry was having none of this. Oh, come on! You don't seriously believe...

"He does.

But he's schizophrenic.

I know that. And coincidences happen. But I'm still giving him half.

Jenny dipped her loaded fork into the cheese fondue.

You can’t be serious, Henry said. That’s a whole lot of money.

It wouldn’t be any money at all if it weren’t for Brian, Jenny said. And Gerry. But I can’t give Gerry anything, except by way of Brian. She smiled.

I think that’s adorable, Liz said. And quite noble and selfless.

Hey, Jenny said, I’m keeping half. After taxes. Retire on the Riviera and eat caviar for the rest of my life. If I wanted to do that. Twice that much wouldn’t really change my life much. I don’t have expensive tastes.

Liz waved her cheese-coated fondue fork in the air. I do, she said, grinning, and popped the hot morsel into her mouth, instantly regretting it, and reaching for the water.

Brian is not someone I would trust with money, Henry said.

That’s what he told me, Jenny said. He intimated that something had happened.

Something always happens, Henry said. You can’t give him enough rope to...

Jenny waited for him to finish, but nothing was forthcoming. When the silence was just starting to get uncomfortable, she asked When was the last time money got him into trouble?

The last time he had money, Henry said. Like when he bought a bus ticket for as far as he could get with what money he had. A one-way ticket. It took me four days to find him, and three plane tickets.

And when was that? Jenny asked.

A year ago. Well, almost two.

So, before Gerry.

Henry didn’t answer the implied question. He’s still Brian. You don’t know him. You don’t know the problems...

Which is why I wanted to meet you. He’s very forthcoming, you know. Very open. I don’t think he’s ever lied to me, or tried to hide anything, or kept anything back. It’s quite refreshing. He’s like no one I’ve ever met before.

You have that right, Henry said.

Be nice, Liz scolded playfully.

Jenny chewed thoughtfully. Do you know much about wine? she asked, changing the subject. I told them I wanted the best they had. But I don’t drink a lot of wine, so I really can’t tell. I mean, I like it, but I don’t think I can tell a twenty-dollar wine from a thousand-dollar wine.

Henry looked at his glass. This was?

Liz quickly added Very good. This was excellent wine. Thank you.

The guy said don’t waste my money, Jenny said, and grinned. They have bottles back there that go for thousands of dollars. This one I could afford before I met Brian. Barely.

You met him barely? Liz punned, smiling.

Jenny grinned in return. He’s quick like that, too, she said. Wit. Word play. Not so much sexual innuendo, that’s too easy. No offense. But he can make me laugh in an instant, a second after I said something he could riff on.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen that side of him, Liz said, looking at Henry.

Yeah, he’s always cracking some ‘dad joke’ about something, Henry said. It’s hard enough talking to him as it is. Half of what he talks about is fantasy. He’s not really connected to the real world.

I love his stories, Jenny said. I think he should write a book. Everything fits together. He has an answer to any question. It’s really well thought out.

Hargreaves says that’s typical of Jameson’s patients, Henry said. Very creative, very clever. But it makes it all that much harder to talk sense into them.

"Try talking sense to a physics professor sometime. My ex, for example. There’s a bunch of very good reasons he’s an ex. I look back on that relationship as a total disaster. I mean, he was great at first. Charming. Witty. But getting him