We the Men of India

By Save Indian Family Foundation

Men's rights and men's issues have often been ignored by the powers that be in Indian and around the world. On top of this, the number of gender biased laws such as 498a and Domestic Violence or DV have created a difficult legal situation for Indian men.

Save Indian Family Foundation is a non-governmental organization working for the rights of men in India who are fighting various legal and matrimonial and child custody related cases.

The chapters of this book are written by a number of members and volunteers of SIFF. They deal with a number of issues including biased laws, father's rights, child separation, domestic violence, MGTOW, mental health, and men's activism. Taken together, they constitute a unique picture of what it is like to be a man in India in this day and age.

• Language: English
• Publisher: G Rajeev Lochan
• Release date: Feb 19, 2023
• ISBN: 9798201217624

Book preview

International men’s day in the eyes of a disgruntled feminist

By G Rajeev Lochan

Being a volunteer for Men’s rights organization, the articles revolving around international men’s day is keenly watched for. This year quite unexpectedly there has been a string of articles in major dailies. The range of the topics published is also noteworthy. The topics ranged from explaining the history, importance, and significance of men’s day, evolving men’s fashion apparels including major fashion houses presenting gender-fluid collections (androgyny), grooming tips for men which included dieting and skincare, gadgets that could be gifted to the man they love, financial planning, movies that present positive role-models (which by the way was intent of this year’s international men’s day). The events and awareness programs held by various men’s rights groups were also covered and given wide publicity by some of the media houses.

The New Indian express interviewed random people on the awareness about existence of such a day and on defining manhood while Zee news came up with the human values that Indian men could teach the world to make it a better place, also publishing poems on the contributions of man.

Northeast today presented global statistical data on the issues men face. Even though men are thought to be physically stronger than women, but of the total suicides committed across the globe, 76 per cent are committed by men. Of all the total men population, 85 per cent are homeless, 70 per cent homicide victims are men, men on an average serve 64 per cent more in prison, and 92 per cent of the total death of men across the globe occurs in workplace,.

Commendable job by Hindustan Times which extolled people to celebrate by donating to causes related to men’s health or make/share posters that talk about men’s mental health and physical ailments.

Just the moment when you feel like applauding the media houses, a perverted interpretation was published in TheNewsMinute. The author wants men’s rights activists to focus on Real Issues and not complain about false criminal cases or false #metoo’s. So let me for a moment, focus on our opinions and actions that we have taken on the real issues.

Mental health

There have been multiple workshops on mental health, stress management etc. organized by Men’s rights groups like Save Indian Family Foundation, CARE and Vaastav to name a few over the years, in multiple cities and venues. The speakers did include professors and Doctors from reputed National Institutions for mental health and reputed Government hospitals. Besides, men’s rights activists went a step further to get trained on mental health issues by National Institutes and today are certified volunteers. They manage Men’s helpline numbers and do handle a number of people with suicidal thoughts and depression.

Men, caste and community

Men’s rights movement is not just a platform for men to work with each other. Instead, it should aptly be called a temple or a Gurukula for men. There is absolutely no sign of caste, creed or community differences in the community centers, and it respects differences in ideological and political movements too. You will find communists, socialists, conservatives and even Bhakts walking, talking, sharing, and traveling together with a sense of oneness among them. If we have to fight the biggest enemy of men, let’s fight Misandry. Rest all differences will fall in place and has the potential to make the world truly a much more peaceful and happier place.

Men and sexuality

Men’s rights movement has nothing against homosexuality. For some reason liberals and feminists want to promote homosexuality as fashionable all the time and shout down the issues that heterogeneous relationships play. Now that section 377 is abolished, homosexuality is decriminalized. Even otherwise, when a homosexual relationship breaks apart, the system does not come in-between forcing Alimony/Maintenance payments. Everyone in a homogeneous relationship can just walk out any day without any strings attached. The same is NOT true for heterogeneous relationships. The entire system coterie ranging from police, courts, lawyers, and judges play havoc on the lives of men and destroy his respect, reputation, emotional bonding with his child, and financial assets all in the name of protecting the damsel in distress and in the best interests of women. Men’s rights movement remains forever committed to equality through campaigns for shared parenting, getting all laws gender neutral and role neutral. In fact, Men’s rights movement highly advocate the inclusion of women under CrPC 125 to take on the roles of provider, a role which has been till now reserved to men and which no feminist campaigns for. The notion of all rights to one gender and all responsibilities to the other cannot be justly called equality. With rights and power, should be given more responsibility. It should be the left to the choice of two individuals — whether they prefer a homo or a hetero relationship, whether they wish to stay together or get separated.

Men and sexual abuse

Men’s rights movement definitely would like to address the issue of sexual abuse of men and boys. It is the feminists in fact who are against it. We definitely want the rape, molestation, stalking laws made gender neutral. Even though the initial draft of the prevention of sexual harassment at workplace was gender neutral, it was the strong lobby of feminists that only women are covered under the law. We also demand the child ministry to be separated from the WCD ministry and the ministry always interprets best interests of the child as best interests of the woman. Young boys do not get any Beta Bachao Beta Padhao schemes even though government records indicate that more boys were sexually abused than girls, a disproportionately high rate of child labor, a high dropout rate for boys in schools and showing an ever-increasing trend.

Men and violence

We would definitely like to see a higher participation of women in police and combat forces. But we really wonder if that can bring down the violence. Some studies have shown that women would also tend to commit same number of crimes and violence if they take the roles of men.

However, the most amusing aspect was that the author wants MRA’s to ally with feminists to take on patriarchy. It would not be wrong to say that patriarchy sleeps with feminism. It’s the patriarchy that protected women and sent men to battles, many a times with a conscription being imposed. It is the patriarchy that gives inheritance of property to daughters without demanding responsibility from daughters to take care of parents in their old age. It’s the patriarchy that has bought so many laws favoring women and happily obliges to laws drafted by feminists. While the patriarchal Supreme Court pays lip-service to misuse or let’s say gross abuse of law as Legal Terrorism, feminists term it as highly-contested.

The general public is slowly getting aware of the ways and lies of women’s rights movement. In spite of the denial of fake cases by feminists, people in general have seen some of their close family and friends getting trapped in false cases. Men’s rights activists understand the issues facing men that a feminist will ever will. If we do complain against fake cases and fake #metoo’s that’s only to demonstrate that there are very many women who behave irresponsibly like a child that has found a gun. We call spade a spade and will continue doing it. It is imperative that feminism corrects its course and support equality in the true sense before it loses reliability and relevance forever.

Signing off with a comparison of IMD with the quote of Winston Churchill, Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

Not heroes off the border?

By G Rajeev Lochan

After the renewed terror attack in Pulwama, there is an upsurge in the spirit of patriotism. The heroes who gave up their lives so that the civilians can sleep in peace were given a tribute by ordinary citizens, thousands attending the funeral of martyrs and those who could not attend in person put up candle marches in prominent places, hoardings expressing the thanks of the republic they died to save.

However, as a person working for men’s rights movement, I got immersed by the thoughts on the civilian aspect of our soldiers who we rightly regard to as heroes guarding our borders and the issues they face outside of their official duties.

Suicide

Minister of State (MoS) for defense Subhash Bhamre told the Rajya Sabha in January 2019 that as many as 80 Army, 16 Air Force and 8 Navy personnel committed suicide in the year 2018. This number is almost around a hundred every year since the beginning of this century at least. To an untrained eye or till recently experts as well believed that the most probable reason would be the stress encountered in areas of combat due to militancy combined with the fact that they live far from their own families for a long time.

After occurrence of each suicide case, a Court of Inquiry is conducted to find out the exact cause behind the suicide. As per findings of Court of inquiries, reasons behind the suicide cases are found to be due to personal/domestic problems including marital discord, land disputes, illness etc.

The 31st Report of the Parliamentary Standing Committee on Defence had noted that 70 per cent of the suicides took place in peace stations and the rest in field areas, a fact that surprised the Parliamentary Committee. Most cases of suicides have occurred soon after troops returned to duty from leave. This clearly indicates that soldiers resorting to extreme steps are severely troubled by domestic issues which they are unable to resolve. In most such cases, the individuals had availed their quota of leave as per their requirements.

Government apathy on disabled soldiers

The general perception might be that the system has a mechanism to give special privileges and benefits for soldiers injured or encountered a partial disability on duty. However, the grievance lodged by the soldiers through courts and tribunals is a testimony to the treatment meted out by the system and speaks about poor implementation of disability benefits received for volunteering to risk their lives in doing a national duty. As far as the pace of our judicial system is concerned, less said the better. These cases linger on for years before it sees light. However, even when courts and tribunals seemed to have granted them some relief, the government under the Ministry of Defense, instead of honoring trial courts judgments and recognizing the sacrifice that the soldiers have made, goes on filing an appeal after appeal to the higher courts.

The apex court as well as High Courts, had in various orders and observations, frowned upon the practice of MoD going in for appeal against every verdict passed against it by the court, even in settled matters.

A committee of experts constituted earlier by the then Defence Minister to recommend measures for reducing and streamlining the system of redressal of grievances had, in its report, come down heavily upon the MoD stating that litigation was being undertaken compulsively, unethically and by way of administrative egotism.

While many recommendations were accepted in 2016, there was still resistance in issuing implementation letters by the ministry.

The silver lining is that the present Defence Minister Nirmala Sitharaman took a strict view of the malaise recently and the files were immediately moved. The Ministry of Defence (MoD) has finally issued instructions to withdraw appeals filed by it in the

Supreme Court over the last few years against disability benefits granted to soldiers by various courts and tribunals.

Education of children

78,159 ESMs/widows have applied for financial assistance for education of children under RMEWF scheme for the year 2017–18. However, only 23379 applications i.e., 29.9% of applications have been