Behold

By Heather M. Standley

This is a chronicle of love and of life, an account of God's
enduring compassion; his faithfulness to be present and rescue when dark
billows threaten to destroy, his kindness to heal and strengthen us and
lift our heads, his determination to teach, inspire, and make alive,
his power to restore our souls and bring to pass "Plan A,"-his plan
since the beginning of time. This is my story, a journey which streams
from joyful spirit and evergreen, to man's will and parched desert land,
and finally arrives at my desired haven, a place prepared for me where I
can thrive in favorable soil; a journey which flows from hope, to hurt
and fear, and brings me to rescue and vision, courage and purpose-a
picture of the beauty of God's grace.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 19, 2021
• ISBN: 9781636302362

Book preview

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Behold

Heather M. Standley

ISBN 978-1-63630-235-5 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63630-236-2 (Digital)

Copyright © 2020 Heather M. Standley

All rights reserved

First Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books, Inc.

11661 Hwy 707

Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

Table of Contents

Dan

Heather

The House

The Man from North Fork

First Date

Engaged

Family

Winter

Death

Prayers

Spring

Last Details

April 27

New Life

We Are One

Faith

Adventure

Home

Old Promises

I Learn to Love

With thankfulness, I dedicate this book to my Savior, Jesus Christ, who rescued me from destruction; to my precious husband, who has been my oak tree from day one; and to my dear friend, Jani, whom the Lord used to steer me toward writing this account and cheer me on my path.

Preface

Behold, it is come, and it is done, saith the Lord God; this is the day whereof I have spoken (Ezek. 39:8).

I love to write. But of this project, I am half afraid, half excited. I know the Lord told me to write this, and I want to obey him. I hope it will be a blessing to others; I believe it will be good for me.

I see happenings in life as puzzle pieces. The Lord leads us through so many different things, and when the time is right, he puts the puzzle pieces together, creating a richly beautiful picture—one to be studied and delighted in, to be blessed by.

I write this in a simple, personal style because it flows from my heart. There is so much to tell that I begin to think I will never be able to write it all, but there is such sweet joy in many of the details, and in each step of this endeavor. Hearing the Lord give me the theme verse and title, the chapter names, the seed thoughts, is a secret joy, a treasure, within me.

Introduction

Our Lord is so very good. He plans for and watches over us. He moves, leads, draws us. He uses everything and wastes nothing. He truly does work together everything for the good of those who love him and are the called according to his purpose. And we’re all called. He calls us by name, has written our name on the very palm of his hand, and gives us the right to choose. He’s always by our side, not far from us.

Grace. That word has become paramount to me. Unearned favor. I know I cannot earn the favor of God Almighty, no matter how hard I try, but I’ve come to realize that he doesn’t want me to try to earn, but to receive, enjoy, and be thankful for his favor. He loves to give and he loves to love. He is love. And so, he makes everything beautiful in his perfect timing.

Beginnings can be obscure, simple, but as life moves on, it gets complicated. We go through so much. We think and feel so many things. We try to understand, try to manage, and endeavor to fix things. We react; sometimes wisely, sometimes not. Eventually, we find ourselves stuck, trapped, labeled by ourselves or by others. We get hurt, we lose our sense of adventure, we run out of ideas, and consider giving up and letting go.

But we are created in the image of God, and he has breathed his very breath into us, giving us life so that there is hope deep within us; a spark. We are not completely cold. We begin to think, we begin to hope, we look up.

Jesus is there. And we realize that he has always been there waiting, watching for us to be ready; and with one word, he fans the spark into a flame and the flame into a blaze. Suddenly, with that one word, we are alive. With one word, he lifts us up, out of the mire, and sets our feet upon a rock. With one word, we are rescued. With one word, we are moving onward, upward. That one word is…behold.

This is my story.

I

Dan

Roger Daniel Standley was born to Donald Eugene and Alice Loretta Standley on August 20, 1961, in Henderson, Nevada, just southeast of Las Vegas, between the city and Hoover Dam where his father worked for the State Parks Department. His sister, Cora Dell, was two years older. The family then moved to Las Vegas where they lived until Dan was three.

At that time, Dan’s father left his family. Dan never knew the reason for sure, but he blamed himself for his family breaking apart. This little boy was sensitive and wanted to make things right. He tried so very hard to be good. He wanted to be so good that no one would ever leave him again. Dan pulled out his mother’s chair and seated her at mealtimes. In fact, he tried so hard that his teachers thought something was wrong with him; he was too well-mannered, too well-behaved. This little boy tried to keep things running smoothly, wanting everyone happy, no one leaving. Dan was also extremely shy. He would hide behind his mother when strangers spoke to him, and he liked keeping his room and himself clean, neat, and tidy. He learned to iron his own clothes at a young age.

A couple of years later, he, his mother, and sister moved to Fresno, California, to live with his grandparents, Merrill and Alice Lyon. Over the next several years, Dan attended church with his family. During prayer meetings, he saw the power of God move on people. He saw them saved, set free, healed; he saw signs and wonders. When Dan was six years old, he asked Jesus to live in his heart, and then Dan was baptized in Shaver Lake.

During a prayer meeting one evening, Dan was standing by his grandpa, praising God. When he tried to leave the room later, he felt as though his feet were nailed to the floor. He tugged on his grandpa’s sleeve and told him, Grandpa, I can’t move my feet.

Grandpa laughed and said, God is not done with you yet.

So Dan stayed where he was, and his grandpa prophesied that Dan would be an evangelist. He knew from a young age who Jesus is, but he felt that God couldn’t want him because his own dad hadn’t.

When Dan was seven, his mother remarried. This time though, instead of a man who beautified the earth, the leader of a biker gang.

While Loretta and Sonny were courting, Sonny was very nice to Cora and Dan. He played with them and took them on outings. But after the marriage, everything changed; the abuse began.

It started verbally; names and comments that hurt deeply. Next, the unreasonable demands. Dan was treated as the lowest of servants, being awakened in the night and put to work. When Dan was nine, he was made to carry ninety-pound bags of cement on his shoulder. If he was ever unable to do what he was told, he was beaten.

The abuse grew extreme and more frequent. Dan’s mother knew nothing of this, as she was working full time, and the kids didn’t want to tell her and make her unhappy. Dan and Cora loved Sonny and would rejoice when, once in a while, he would take them camping.

School years were hard for Dan. Bullies would target him every day, and he cried all the way home but wiped his eyes before he arrived at the house so that Sonny wouldn’t see.

There was even a teacher who took a disliking to Dan and would throw out insults. Only once did Dan speak up to correct a wrong impression, and he was punished, not being allowed to play outdoors for the rest of the school year. When his math score went from third grade level to thirteenth grade level, this teacher gave him a D on his report card.

When Dan was ten, Mary Sue was born to Loretta and Sonny, and Dan became her hero. Mary had an easier time, she being Sonny’s natural child, but life was still very hard.

Then began the time when Sonny forced Dan to fight. Dan didn’t want to do this, and Sonny beat him mercilessly. So, Dan began fighting. He was made to fight every boy in the neighborhood. If he lost a fight, Sonny beat him again. The day came when Dan never lost another fight. This gentle boy with the hazel eyes and long eyelashes became a fighting machine.

Life continued this way until Dan was thirteen, at which time he rebelled, tired of being afraid, tired of being hurt, finished with being punished when innocent. He was angry at God and angry at himself. He had had enough. His mother would later say that that is when all hell broke loose.

Dan was in the seventh grade at that time and started fighting, smoking cigarettes, and drinking. From there, he went on to using marijuana and by ninth grade, he was dealing drugs.

He always had $100 in his pocket and a whiskey and Coke in his hand, but one day a seven-year-old boy asked Dan to sell him some marijuana, and Dan felt the Lord pull on his heartstrings. He sent the little boy away and stopped dealing, though he continued to drink, smoke, and use drugs.

Sonny had been the one to introduce Dan to alcohol. He began giving Dan glasses of wine just to enjoy watching a nine-year-old stumbling drunk. On Dan’s thirteenth birthday, Sonny gave him a large bottle of homemade wine.

During all this time, the fights between these two became more violent. Sonny grew worse every year, and Dan wouldn’t take it anymore. Dan had become incredibly strong from the extreme work he had been made to do from a young age. He could pick up and carry a small engine on his own.

Sonny thought in his heart that he was making Dan tough, the way his dad had taught him. Sonny was abused as he grew up and became the leader of a biker gang who dealt drugs and sold stolen goods. He never lost a fight and sent many men to the hospital. He was not afraid to kill.

Dan was kicked out of one high school and dropped out of another. He had worked hard since the age of thirteen and bought his own car. He would take it out to open land and learn to perform trick driving stunts until he could make a car do anything, with perfect control.

During Dan’s seventeenth year, he went to visit Cora in Clovis, New Mexico. He met a beautiful girl named Kendra. They fell in love and when he had to go back to California, he was heartbroken. But soon, she followed him and when they turned eighteen, they married. A year later, two days before Dan’s birthday, Marcus was born—twenty-one inches long and six pounds, nine ounces. This was the happiest day of Dan’s life.

Dan and Kendra were both partying, drinking, and drugging. Dan had a bad temper and so did Kendra. They fought a lot during their marriage.

After Marcus was born, Dan and his little family moved to Alturas to be near his dad, Don. He wanted to know him, and he thought that if Don saw his grandchild, he would embrace them all. But only pain—more pain—came from this. Things exploded, and Dan took his family to Bass Lake, California.

When Marcus was two years old, Kendra started going to bars in the evening while Dan stayed home taking care of their son. Soon she began coming home with the same man, and it wasn’t long before Dan and Kendra divorced. This was so hard on Dan who always tried to keep his family together. And when Kendra took their son and didn’t let Dan know where they were, it ground his heart to powder. He had lost his wife and son. He became very depressed and started drinking more and using cocaine. He was hurting so badly, and all he wanted was for the pain to stop. He wanted to die.

Dan had always believed that suicide is the coward’s way out. Though later, when he would recall those years, Dan came to realize that he was committing suicide, slowly. He was trying to stop the suffering.

Dan was working at the Pines Restaurant, living out of a backpack. He kept partying, drinking, using harder drugs, and running with wild women. His morals were very loose now.

Then he began practicing fortune-telling, playing with demons, using cards to try to tell people their futures. Dan was always of a spiritual mind, but he was mad at God, so he went the opposite direction. He chose to not want God because he believed that God didn’t want him. No one else did either, he told himself. When a person walks that far away from God, there is such an empty hole inside that it hurts. He felt that everything was God’s fault. But no matter