Rescued & Redeemed by Grace

By Melissa Lee Corbin

IS YOUR STORY MARKED BY LIFE'S TRAUMAS AND PAIN?
Are you believing the enemy's subtle lies that things in your past have left you unforgivable or unworthy?
For many years, author Melissa Lee Corbin lived as a victim filled with self- pity, self-hatred, jealousy and fear. She believed she was unforgivable due to many choices she made. Through divine revelation, she realised God didn't want her to be moulded or defined by life's battles into someone she was never created to be. His love, displayed in the Gospel, changed everything as she chose to believe and apply the truth.
In Rescued and Redeemed by Grace, Melissa shares her incredible testimony of how God exposed the lies that once kept her in bondage and despair. Throughout her story, you will see that it doesn't matter how deep the pain goes, the truth will crush every lie and bring hope and freedom. God's love healed every wound in her life.
the same can be true for you!

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 8, 2019
• ISBN: 9781947279926

Book preview

AUTHOR

chapter one

MY PARENTS

‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the LORD,

‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future’.

Jeremiah 29:11

Let me start this chapter with a short introduction explaining how this story began with my mother and father. My mother’s name is Trudy Jennifer Shepherd. She was born on a small island called Barbados in the Caribbean and raised on a plantation with her mother, father, three sisters and three brothers. Her father was a farmer who did well providing for his growing family.

My mother noticed from a young age that she was seeing signs of depression in herself, and as she got older, this depression started to take ahold of her, slowly becoming a downward spiral in her life. At age twenty-four, she travelled to Australia with her high school friend to explore—‘escaping from the island fever’, as she called it.

It was during this trip she met a handsome gentleman named Grant Alistair Williams who was from New Zealand. That’s when her life changed forever…

They started dating and eventually, with Mom becoming pregnant, they decided to marry before I came along, which was April 21, 1976 in Brisbane, Australia. They named me Melissa Lee Williams.

Mom and Dad just couldn’t get along, due to their constant fighting, as they were two very different people in every respect. Mom was a very gentle, quiet reserved lady, suffering with depression, which obviously clashed with Dad who was the complete opposite. He couldn’t keep still and always had to be the life of the party with his crude jokes, daily drinking and unpredictable shocking behaviour in public, which included fist fights with other men, to Mom’s horror.

It was very easy for Dad to lose his cool, as a man only had to look at him the wrong way before feeling an unexpected blow from my father’s quick fist. He suffered from uncontrollable anger that had stemmed from deep hurt due to his past life, which my mom never knew about fully at the time when they came together. Dad had this anger towards men, which stemmed from his very unhealthy relationship with his own father. Fighting to prove a point was his solution to everything. When you put two very broken people together, it will not work out, especially not without some divine intervention!

Due to their major differences, Mom left Australia, taking me when I was fourteen months old back to the support of her family in Barbados. Dad decided to follow her shortly after she returned to the warm, sandy island, hoping to make things work, but sadly it didn’t. Dad’s shocking behaviour and subsequent trouble with the law made it easy for Mom to finalise her decision, which eventually led to Dad leaving Barbados when I was two years old. He was no longer seen or heard from for many years.

For me, it was a rough journey that had many hurts and regrets, but eventually that bumpy road led me to Jesus. I love how God can take our mess, loving us just where we are as He transforms us from the inside out, turning our turmoil and tears into joy, and offering us an eternal life of peace with Him!

My life is now made complete with Jesus my Saviour. I have become excited about my future, with Jesus being my healer and best friend. I believe we all have a valuable story that can be used to help and inspire others. Everyone has a valid testimony. God made it very clear to me for many years that I was to write this book, and the thought of writing a book about my vulnerable moments scared me to my core, but what scared me even more was not obeying God’s call…

‘They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb

and by the word of their testimony;

they did not love their lives so much

as to shrink from death’.

Revelation 12:11

As you are about to read my life’s journey from my past leading up to now, you will notice that at the end of the chapters in this book, I have shared nuggets of truth as I know them now, truth that crushed the lies I used to believe about myself and God.

It is important to me that I elaborate on the truths I have learnt over the years, truths that changed me, in the hope these truths will help crush the lies that some people might believe about God the Father and themselves. This will show you how I applied these truths to my life, which transformed my mind into healthy Christlike thinking, that led me into living a joyful life filled with hope as I overcame the storms with Jesus by my side.

I have a heart and a passion for teaching truth and destroying the lies from hell. My heart burns for what the Father’s heart burns for, for the people all around the world, because every soul matters to our Father! I hope this book stirs you up for the One who burns for you and loves you more than any person can—Jesus. So, here’s my story of how I was rescued and redeemed by grace.

LOVE

AS I KNOW NOW

What is love? To me, love is a deep, pure affection towards someone and expecting nothing in return, no strings attached, with no expectations, just selfless pure love. Love motivates me to always try to see the good in a person, to see the gold that I believe is in every human. I believe this world is angry and hurting, as we can obviously see when we look at the news or even just around our communities. This is because people do not know how accepted and loved they are by the heavenly Father, and probably all they have ever known growing up was the opposite of pure love.

This reminds me so much about my father’s testimony, which I will share later on in the book. How can one love purely when they have never experienced what true love looks like? When they have never been told about the Father’s relentless love for them?

Love is always patient and kind; it encourages, protects, comforts those in sorrow, gives, listens and its mercy never runs out, always willing to forgive. Love never gets tired of doing good, and love does not do good in order to get something back in return. There is no love found in jealousy, and love actually takes delight and rejoices when someone beams with hope, joy and victory.

Love is never found in self-seeking. It never criticizes, isn’t easily angered, doesn’t condemn, never holds offence, nor does love play with bitterness. Love holds no records of wrong nor does it remind people of their mistakes. Love comes with no judgement, just loves people where they are, wanting the best for them, seeing their great worth and priceless value.

To me, love always will look like something. Whether it’s giving your time, a gift, a simple embrace, kind words or meeting people’s desperate needs. This love I have just expressed reminds me of someone. Someone who has always loved like this from the beginning and forever. Jesus. He doesn’t just love, He is love.

If my happiness was based on how many people loved me, I would be an unstable mess. But my joy comes from Jesus saying, I am enough; I am all you need. Now I can love freely with no expectations because my identity is in Him and Him alone.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,

it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love

does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always

protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7

My beautiful mother

Mom and Dad dating in Australia

Mom and Dad dating in Australia

Mom and Dad getting married

Dad and me when I was six weeks

Dad and me when I was nine weeks

Mom and me

chapter two

LIFE AS WE MOVED TO BARBADOS

‘…for the LORD your God goes with you;

he will never leave you nor forsake you’.

Deuteronomy 31:6

Our journey began in 1977 when Mom and I arrived in Barbados to live with her parents on 881 acres of land. This plantation was called Drax Hall, which was located in the middle of this tiny island in the Caribbean. The house is over three hundred years old. I remember the huge old mahogany trees towering everywhere with the occasional green monkey perched on a branch. There were lush green gardens and endless dirt roads with fields on both sides of growing vegetables, but mainly the plantation was consumed with sugar canes.

During the day, all you heard was the chirping of birds, the tractors’ engines roaring by and the strange yet soothing sounds of the whistling frogs and crickets at night. The house was massive with thick concrete walls that were unpainted on the outside, leaving it with a rough grey look from the finishing of the cement.

As a young child, I was looked after by my mother, my grandparents and two uncles named Dirk and John. My mom’s other siblings either married or moved out on their own. These two brothers who lived with us were my mom’s youngest siblings out of the seven and couldn’t have been more opposite. John was a fair-haired, gentle blue-eyed man who had a passion for math and science, anything that challenged his mind. Whereas Dirk was a brown-eyed man more on the tough and rough side, loving his music, guitars and enjoying the attention of the beautiful ladies.

My mom’s mother was Beryl Shepherd, who I called Granny. It seemed like she was always in the kitchen from morning till evening cooking homemade meals for us to eat. The inviting smells leaking from the kitchen on a daily basis was irresistible.

My grandmother had eleven siblings, and her upbringing wasn’t an easy one. She had a rough childhood, as she told me many horrible stories of how her father used to beat her violently. Fear would grip her as she ran to her mother for safety; however, there wasn’t much her mom could do, as she too was silenced and stilled with fear. Her father dabbled a lot in the occult, and his actions for many years made his emotional stability very questionable.

Now my grandfather, Clarence Shepherd, who I called Papa, had nine siblings. His childhood also wasn’t easy. He endured some hard times with frequent verbal abuse and hard punishment from his mother. His father wasn’t in the picture much, and this can do a lot of emotional damage to a child. I know this pain also. It’s amazing how in most cases a father’s absence can negatively shape one’s life and their thinking.

My grandfather didn’t ever say much, as he was never a big talker, which I believe was due to his childhood upbringing. However, I admire him for not allowing his upbringing to stop him from being the hardworking man he was, always providing for his growing family. My grandparents were committed to raising every child the best they could despite the difficulties that came with looking after a large family in those times.

During the week, the employees worked every day Monday to Friday ploughing fields, planting and selling vegetables—the expected things you would see on an active plantation. I became friendly with the workers, especially the African ladies, occupying my days with them, mainly during school holidays. I was in awe of these tough women who perfectly balanced large woven baskets on their heads, bending over for hours, weeding or picking vegetables in the fields during the day in the unforgiving scorching Caribbean sun.

I remember often climbing up a ladder that took me to the top of an old nonfunctioning windmill to sit with the ladies during their lunch break. How I so enjoyed their company, as I was an only child. They noticed me and asked a lot of questions. They laughed with me and gave me their undivided attention, which is what I craved. When I left their presence, I felt important and noticed.

At the Drax Hall house, Granny hired a maid named Millie who came daily to tend to the cleaning and ironing, as the house was huge and Gran couldn’t manage it all by herself, especially due to her always being in the kitchen.

When the piles of clothes had to be ironed, Millie always did this upstairs, and I loved nothing more than sitting on the dark, cold wooden floor, looking up and watching her iron, hour after hour. She always listened and giggled at my childhood babble. I was drawn to these ladies who worked on the plantation either in the field or in the house. I felt acknowledged, basically by anyone who would give me the attention I so eagerly sought.

My grandfather was always busy overseeing and caring for the needs of the plantation. Even though there weren’t many words exchanged between Grandad and me, we had a special relationship. I was like his daughter, more so than a grandchild, as he took on the father role with me. Sometimes he would invite me to crawl into his favourite old recliner during the evening to watch golf. I snuggled beside him in silence as he drank his rum and Coke with his arm around me. It was hard for him to say I love you, show affection or anything that stirred emotions. You know what? I loved him just the way he was, and even with his few words, I knew he loved me.

As for Mom, she picked up on how lonely I felt and believed it was due to her deep depression. As much as she loved me, it was challenging for her to even interact, much less play fun games with me. She spent most of her days when she was at home lying in bed curled up and sleeping, as that was her greatest escape from life.

The enemy was trying to mould me from a very young age, telling me who I was NOT. His repetitive whispers were, ‘You are worthless. Look, even your father doesn’t want you. Are you forgetting that he left you? You are a burden to your mother. You will always be lonely and rejected. You’re a mistake’. Those were the first set of lies that were being fed to me by the enemy when I was little. Unfortunately, I swallowed and digested every poisonous one.

As the years rolled by, I believed those lies more and more as the enemy kept reinforcing them through circumstances that occurred, therefore becoming what seemed to be my reality and truth. I began to step into a false identity crisis because my value was measured by how people treated me and how much they said, ‘I love you’.

I believed I was unlovable. Is something wrong with me? Am I not worthy of being loved? Maybe that’s why Dad left me and Mom doesn’t spend time with me, I thought. This identity crisis is an awful place to be, and that was where I camped, listening to the stranger’s voice for many years because I didn’t yet know my Shepherd’s voice.

‘When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead

of them, and his sheep follow him because they know

his voice. But they will never follow a stranger;

in fact, they will run away from him

because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice’.

John 10:4–5

IDENTITY

AS I KNOW NOW

The enemy’s goal is to attack the belief system of every believer. In an identity crisis, we start to believe many negative things about ourselves as we come in agreement with what the enemy is saying about us, instead of agreeing with what God our loving Father is saying.

Dan Mohler once said: God isn’t concerned when the devil speaks; however, He is concerned when we believe his lies (paraphrased). When our happiness is dependent on other people to fulfill and complete us, that to me is a red flag. That way of thinking and believing is asking for many letdowns. If we put high expectations on people, our emotional lives will never be stable.

Think about it. One day we will be doing well when they show their love for us, and the other times we will be feeling down when they aren’t noticing us. Our identities are also not found in how much money we make, the jobs we have or even our ministries. It’s only found in Christ Jesus as we become one with Him, one with our Majesty. Never allow the world to define you, only Christ.

One day as I was on my knees in my media room worshipping, Jesus walked into the room, knelt on the carpet in front of me, piercing my eyes with His, and asked, ‘Melissa, if no one loved you on this earth BUT only Me, would that be enough?’

Quickly I replied with tears streaming down my face, ‘Yes, Lord, Your everlasting eternal love is enough. Sorry for dwelling on the ones who don’t love me when I should be dwelling on the ONE who does’.

Another day as I was worshipping at home, God gently interrupted and said to me, ‘Melissa, do you know I loved you the same when you were lost in darkness as I love you now that you are found in righteousness?’

Wow, this all but blew my mind that He loved me the same then when I lived in sin and in total darkness as He loves me now that I live in holiness and righteousness. He didn’t love the sin, but He loved me! The Father was saying that His love didn’t increase for me when I surrendered to Him. His love for me has always been the same, relentless and unmeasurable.

If you were a parent and your child did wrong, would that make you love them less? Or if your child did a good thing, does that make you love them more? No, you love them relentlessly with no measuring stick. What good or bad they choose to do is irrelevant regarding your love for them.

When sin entered the picture from the Fall of Adam in the garden, it caused mankind to spiral into an identity crisis, by us no longer looking like the image of God, our Father. What is the image of God? Love. Sin entering caused us to become self-centred, jealous, enraged, lustful, greedy, bitter, competitive and ungrateful, basically giving into what the flesh desired and no longer looking anything like our Father. Not one of us is a mistake. We are all predestined to be here, as He knew our names and saw our faces before we were even conceived. God was never going to give up on us and watch us perish; He’s a good Father.

God our Father loves us so much that He came to earth clothed in humanity and known as the Son of God. He was to be crucified for our sins so we can be reunited and forever in right standing with the Father. When we repent and surrender to Jesus, He looks at us just as though we never sinned, with a clean slate.

I realised He wasn’t in heaven looking down on me with a pointing finger, shaking His head with disappointment and disgust, but in fact was actually loving me just where I was in my mess, longing for me to live my life in eternal freedom, wrapped in His arms of love and acceptance forever. This shook my world, causing every lie I believed about God and myself to be highlighted and come crashing to the ground.

I discovered that the almighty, all-powerful and all-knowing God always had a plan from the very beginning to save His children, as He knew Adam and Eve were going to choose sin eventually. This was not what He wanted to occur, but He will not interfere with our free will. There was no plan B with God. He knew from the beginning how and when His perfect plan would play out for us children to be rescued, redeemed and restored back to Him, due to the sin that occurred in the garden that caused separation from our holy and pure Father.

I love this post I saw: ‘When God saved Israel, He sent Moses. When God saved us, He sent no one; He came Himself ’.

This supernatural love God has towards me began to resonate within, causing all the stinking thinking I thought about myself to dissolve, as I learnt how valuable I am to Him. This is why drastic action was taken to rescue and redeem us. While we were still sinners, Jesus willingly died on the cross.

But God demonstrates his own love for