My Shining Star: A Biography of Virginia M. Hoffman

By Donald E. Hoffman

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Virginia and I accidentally ran into each other at the Christian school we were attending. As I glanced into her crystal-blue eyes, she captured my heart. She had a radiance that made her stand out from all the other girls. I had been praying the Lord would bring a lady into my life who would be a perfect mate. As our eyes met, I knew the Lord had answered my prayer. I just met my future wife.

I later learned she was orphaned by the age of seven. A grandmother took her to Florida. One brother, just thirteen, went to Oklahoma with their oldest brother. That did not work out, and Herb was taken in by the Cook family even though he was a total stranger. A year later, Virginia was permitted to join her brother Cliff, and Lois assumed full responsibility for the two siblings. Finally, seven years later, they adopted Herb and Virginia.

Never once did Virginia speak unkindly of the grandmother and everything that happened for all had been forgiven. I was not the easiest boy to date and thus, we had a rocky courtship. The Lord performed a transformation within that totally changed me. It was then she was able to tell me yes to my proposal ten months earlier. And our marriage was absolutely fantastic.

Virginia knew I wanted to write about her life, and she told me there was nothing special to tell. In reality there is a lot to tell. She walked closely with the Lord for decades and her life was one of God's grace and unconditional love. That was true in every area of her life and ministry. The Cooks also demonstrated God's love as they initially welcomed Herb and then Virginia into their home and lives.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 16, 2022
• ISBN: 9781639610068

Book preview

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My Shining Star

A Biography of Virginia M. Hoffman

Donald E. Hoffman

ISBN 978-1-63961-005-1 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63961-006-8 (digital)

Copyright © 2021 by Donald E. Hoffman

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

I

II

III

IV

V

VI

VII

VIII

IX

X

XI

XII

XIII

XIV

I am dedicating this book to the following:

Virginia: Her beautiful blue eyes initially caught my attention. Her Christ-centered love captured my heart. And her countenance was like a shining star on our path as we walked side by side as one with our Lord.

Carolyn: She is the Lord’s gift to Virginia and me, the daughter so easy to raise and a reflection of her mother’s love, flexibility, and contentment.

Alana: She is an administrative assistant at Cameron United Methodist Church, whose eyes sparkled when we talked about her typing My Shining Star. As always, a fantastic job was accomplished.

To the angels at Cameron United Methodist Church (men and women) who were always available to help care for Virginia, or me, in any way possible, day or night—well done! They still make sure I am doing all right.

Preface

It was her beautiful, crystal-clear blue eyes that caught my attention. And they very quickly captured my heart. When I first met Virginia, she was coming out of the library at the high school / junior college in McPherson, Kansas. That moment our eyes met, I told myself she was the gorgeous girl I would marry.

My shining star—that was Virginia from the beginning of our dating days (May 1956) to her death (March 22, 2020). The wise men needed that star that outshone all other stars to lead them to Jesus—the King of the Jews—to present their gifts. God used Virginia as a means to help me keep my eyes focused on Christ and faithfully follow the will of our Lord. She shone so brightly for so many years that I found it much easier to submit to him and walk obediently through both the mountaintops and the valleys. I alone am responsible for following and obeying my Lord. Virginia, as my shining star, simply made the light brighter for all those years. So my shining star was very instrumental for me becoming who I am and whatever was accomplished for him through our years together. As I told her so many times, Thanks, honey, I could never have done without you.

After we had been dating for a while, I learned she was not a Cook even though that was the name she carried. Instead, her legal name was Bevington. Over time, I heard her story.

Orphaned at the age of eight in Beaver, Pennsylvania, she followed her older brother, Herb, to the Cook family in Covington, Oklahoma. Piece by piece, I learned of the family that welcomed those two kids in their home even though they were total strangers.

I saw a Christlike love by Clifford and Lois Cook, who promised they would raise Herb and Virginia—and in the teenaged girl I was dating, who showed the same Christlike love by forgiving a close relative who repeatedly caused deep hurts after the deaths of her parents.

It was that love I experienced through our rocky year-and-a-half dating days. And that love never ceased during our fantastic marriage of sixty-one and a half years before our Heavenly Father called her home after several years of battling Parkinson’s disease and dementia.

She knew I was going to put her story in print, but she was not too enthused. In fact, she told me not to. But when there is a very special lady with a special story, it needs to be shared. I believe that her influence will continue as people get to know Virginia in a deeper way. I know it is easy to emphasize her goodness to the point it appears she was perfect. But she was not any more than myself or you.

Once I knew I was going to become a minister, I began to pray for the lady I would one day marry. I asked the Lord that he would lead me to that lady. But she had to be the perfect wife for me. He did exactly that. For all the life I have left, I will sing of her graciousness and my thankfulness to the Lord that brought me that lady whom I call my shining star!

I

Welcome, Virginia

About forty miles northwest of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, is Beaver Falls. Harry Washington and Myrtle Mae (Brannon) Bevington lived on a farm in Beaver after they were married on June 17, 1927. Over a few years, they welcomed three sons. First was Clifford, followed by Charles, and finally Herbert. Five years later, the boys welcomed a sister, Virginia, born on April 30, 1940. She was thoroughly spoiled in a short time.

Information is sketchy about her early years. She shared some with me through the years. Some stories have been shared by her siblings. However, like Virginia, her brothers were very guarded in anything they told. Recalling the memories they shared, by looking at pictures the family took, and recalling some of the conversations her adoptive father and I had, I have attempted to piece together her early childhood years. Also, her sister-in-law, Ruth, the widow of Chuck, who lives in North Port, Florida, has helped much with putting these stories together.

The farm on which the Bevingtons lived was rather large, but a lot of the land was hilly, rocky, or filled with trees rendering a large portion of the land useless for actual farming. They had a large garden each summer as one picture I found shows. Though the corn patch looked dry, the rest of the vegetables appeared to be healthy. Myrtle maintained a large flower bed.

A picture was taken of Virginia and her two brothers just older than herself working in it. In one picture, Chuck was holding a calf by its halter and holding his sister in his arm. His eyes were focused on Virginia, but hers were zoomed in on that calf. She was about a year old. From a girl just a few months old, a couple of things were very distinct—her naturally curly hair and a fantastic smile. I have shared many times how her beautiful sparkling blue eyes first caught my eyes and then captured my heart. Those eyes can be seen in some of the preschool snapshots.

Her father was around six feet tall. As she was cuddled in his arms, he was the proudest father holding the most beautiful daughter. Brother Chuck shared one time that she was without doubt his little girl. He asked her if she remembered their dad going to the grocery store and bringing a box of Cheerios home, putting them on the shelf, and telling the three brothers that those were hers and they were not to eat any of them. She laughed, responding she had no recollection of that.

This little incident, I think, gives us a glimpse into the Bevington family. Without a doubt, Virginia was daddy’s little girl and was spoiled from her birth until his death. As the brothers have shared with me how their dad was so partial to their sister, there is not a trace of resentment. In fact, it was just the opposite. Every brother showed a protectiveness of her. Each of them showed a deep concern for her welfare. I think, in a way, they each had stepped in to be the parents she didn’t have.

I saw this so clearly in Herb. When we were dating, he did all he could to get her to drop me. I was unstable, and he sure didn’t want her to have to live in the kind of marriage it would have created. He wanted her to have the very best, and I was not offering that kind of life. (He was, and I am so pleased that he did show that love, care, and concern.) After my transformation, he accepted me and was a neat brother-in-law.

Harry and Myrtle had a solid marriage as far as I have been able to ascertain. The love of Virginia’s dad for her was as deep as it could be. She was first and foremost in his life. As the boys have said several times, He [their dad] worshipped the ground that she walked on. His whole life was Myrtle. Without her he had no life. He couldn’t go on, no reason to. Aunt Delsey, sister to Myrtle, has said this is the reason he took his own life. Even though there were the three kids at home, he had no reason to live without his bride of twenty years.

Harry showed that kind of love to Virginia. But he was authoritative and ruled the boys with an iron fist, and he was very hard on them. When he told them to do something, he meant right then. If they didn’t, then whatever was handy was used to discipline, many times leaving marks on them. He was an abusive father but only to the boys.

With this information I was recently given, I can more easily understand why none of the boys seemed to want to talk about Dad. And I can better understand Herb at the time the Cooks were going to adopt him along with Virginia. Dad Cook wanted him to retain some part of his dad’s name or at least Bevington. He was very vocal that he was not going to do that. He wanted a name free from his early years. But Dad Cook prevailed, and Herb finally did as his dad wanted him to do. Thus, when his name was legally changed, it became Herbert Bevington Cook. But he was still sensitive about it.

Virginia appears to have been a tomboy and loved being outside. In one picture, she is playing with a BB gun and a homemade wheelbarrow with four wheels. It appears she was having to work hard to move it. Their yard was encircled with trees, and the weeds were overgrown. To me it was the typical yard and house of the late 1940s.

There were some traits I saw in her from the beginning. One was her naturally curly hair. Part of the time, her mom combed it so the curls were not so prominent, but Virginia hated her curly hair, period! Second were her eyes that were bright even in those small black-and-white snapshots. There was a twinkle in them as well. Also, when she smiled, the grin was from one ear to the other. In the majority of the pictures, she had that smile. She looked so much like her mother. I understand she was like Myrtle in her personality and temperament.

Dad Bevington worked for one of the steel mills in Pittsburgh. For some reason, the men who worked the same shift called him Barney. He was known by that name, and probably no one knew him by his given name. No one has learned why the name Barney.

During the time Barney worked at the mill, the company had the policy that when the sons of any employee became old enough to work and an opening occurred, they got first chance for that position.

After the death of their father, the second oldest, Chuck, upon reaching the required age to work, applied for one of those jobs and was hired. The men Chuck worked with knew his father had died, though they didn’t personally know him. For some reason, they assumed he was named after his dad, so he became JR.

Though it is not known for sure what physical problem Myrtle had, it is known that she was ill for a long period. Virginia’s brother, Chuck, did share that their mom got severe headaches. She called for him to come and massage her head. After he massaged her head for a long period, her headaches would subside. He was the only one who could get that help for her.

The kids attended a one-room school. The most common way to discipline the children was to stand them in the corner. Virginia told me many, many times that Herb stood in the corner much of the time. It seems he stood in the corner more than he sat in his seat.

If there was any kind of commotion, a prank, practical jokes, or disputes on the school grounds, the teacher just assumed it was Herb, and in the corner he went. Herb used to tell me it was true, and he actually got away with things for which he should have stood in the corner.

Virginia admits she wanted to be with Chuck and Herb and do whatever they were doing. One day, she had followed them everywhere they went and wanted to do everything they did. No matter what they did to get her to leave, she stayed and got in their way. Finally, they devised a plan in which she would be able to help them and get rid of her as well. They got two five-gallon buckets. On the handle of one, they tied a rope, and they threw the other end of the rope over a large limb. They were able to get Virginia to get in the first bucket. They pulled her up as close to the limb as they could. They then got a lot of rocks, stones, and concrete as weight and put them in the second bucket and left her there. The boys then took off to the screams of Virginia. Mom finally heard her and went outside to see what was happening. When the boys heard Mom yell for them, they knew they were in trouble. They knew something was about to happen. They had to let Virginia down. Their Ferris wheel was a success, but when Dad got home, he applied the board of education—never forgotten, never repeated.

One of the very first things Virginia discussed with me once we were married was her hatred of goat’s milk. There would never be a way she would drink it again. She set her foot down that we’d never have it in our house. We didn’t!

It all went back to her early years when she had to drink goat’s milk because she was unable to tolerate cow’s milk. She always said it stank like a goat! She had no choice in drinking it as a child. She did as an adult, and her choice was never!

Virginia’s mother had two sisters and four brothers. Two became ministers. Her uncle Ken Brannon was a minister in the Wesleyan Church, and of course, Uncle Herb was a Free Methodist Church pastor. I did meet and visit with Uncle Ken. Her father had two brothers.

On October 15, 1947, Virginia’s and her brothers’ world was forever changed. Their mother died at the age of forty after a prolonged illness. We never found out the actual cause of death.

One grandmother didn’t think Virginia should see her Mom in a casket, so she took Virginia and kept her from ever seeing Myrtle once she had died. She never had an opportunity to say farewell.

Six months later, her father decided he could not live without his love and wife, the one with whom he had shared twenty years of marriage. Life was not important since he wasn’t able to share it with her. After the kids had gone to school, he took his own life.

After school, Chuck and Herb went home and soon headed for the barn to do chores before Dad got home. When they walked in, they saw him hanging from one of the rafters. It fell to these two teenagers to cut the rope and lower him down.

That same grandmother found Virginia before she saw her dad and took her so she would not see him. As far as Grandma was concerned, Virginia was far too young to have to face the death of Dad, to see the lifeless body of her father. She eventually took Virginia to Florida for an extended period. So once again, she had no chance to say goodbye to Dad, nor to Herb when he moved to Oklahoma while she was in Florida.

After the funeral was over, reality had to be faced. What would happen to the kids? The oldest one, Cliff, was in Oklahoma in college. Chuck was nearly sixteen and could get a job and care for himself, but Herb was thirteen and Virginia was eight. At that time, Grandma Brannon (her mother’s mother) had Virginia, and because of the direction Herb was going in his life, no one wanted to be responsible for him.

Herb ended up going