Helen's Heritage: Life Stories of Helen Herbert Gillham as Told to Debra Irene

By Debra Irene

What was it like to be born in the depression era and to grow up the youngest of sixteen children in a poor family in rural Missouri? What was it like to be separated from your mother as a young toddler, to be without her daily nurturing and yet have deep spiritual roots and an overall strong family base? How do you carve out your own journey? And then, when your journey is over, what heritage have you left for your descendants? Will they know about the struggles and the victories on earth? Will they know about the promise of an eternal home? Will they know the family stories, those jewels locked up in time?

Helen decided not to keep those jewels to herself. Instead, she unlocked the treasure box, opened it wide, and documented it all for the generations to come. Come and read her stories. Learn of her heritage, the one on earth and the one for eternity.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jul 18, 2016
• ISBN: 9781512748529

Debra Irene

Debra Irene has lived and been employed by corporations in the metropolitan Kansas City area since 1979. She enjoys music, ballroom dancing for pleasure and exercise, and baseball (specifically her Kansas City Royals). She has a passion for storytelling and writing – real-life adventures and everyday life. To her, life is a story waiting to be told. Debra’s first book, Reflections, is a series of vignettes reflecting on people in her life. Her stories have appeared in Farm & Ranch Living, Country, and The Missouri Golf Post. Helen’s Heritage is her second published book. www.DebraIrene.com

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Helen’s

Heritage

Life Stories of Helen Herbert Gillham as told to Debra Irene

Debra Irene

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Copyright © 2016 Debra Irene.

Cover photograph and interior photographs used by permission from the Herbert-Gillham family collection.

Specific professional photographs used by permission of Karin Gillham Martin.

Sgt. J.D. Herbert courtesy of Bolivar Free Press, March 24, 1955.

Dynamic Duo courtesy of Cedar County Republican, June 14, 2006.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5127-4853-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-4854-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-4852-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016910716

WestBow Press rev. date: 7/14/2016

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

The Vision

1934–1944

In the Beginning

Chronicles and Snapshots

1944–1949

Entrepreneurs

Chronicles and Snapshots

1949—1952

Turning Point

Chronicles and Snapshots

1952–1965

I Lost Her Again

Chronicles and Snapshots

1965—1977

Come Home, Come Home

Chronicles and Snapshots

1977—1991

Be Healed!

Chronicles and Snapshots

1991—2016

My Widow Way Home

Chronicles and Snapshots

The Clan

Family Tree

James Bernard Herbert (Bernard)

Rhoda Margaret Case (Maggie)

Elizabeth Leona (Lizzie)

James Melvin (Mel)

Marvin John (Marve)

Myrtle Elnora (Elnora)

Clara Opal

Delta Viola

Dorothy Luella

J. D.

Lawrence Allen

Robert Lee

Eunice Rebecca

Willard Benton (Benton)

Sylvia Louise (Louise)

Carl Eugene

Harold Dale

Helen Josephine

Epilogue

Also by Debra Irene

Reflections

This book is

dedicated to my fifteen siblings and our heritage:

Lizzie

Mel

Marve

Elnora

Clara

Delta

Dorothy

J. D.

Lawrence

Robert

Eunice

Benton

Louise

Carl

Harold

For thou, O God, hast heard my vows:

thou hast given me the heritage of those that fear thy name.

—Psalm 61:5

Preface

I (Helen) feel compelled to tell my life story for two reasons:

1. Many people have asked me over the years what it was like to be part of such a large family with so many brothers and sisters, not to mention cousins, nieces, and nephews. Sometimes I felt looked down upon for our large clan, so I would like everyone to know what a privilege it was, and is, to have so many loving, caring brothers and sisters. We were there for each other and loved each other no matter what. When I was a little girl, some people pitied me because I was separated from my mother, but I feel I had a wonderful life. God was faithful and worked out everything for good.

2. I also feel I have had a few extraordinary spiritual experiences that I want to share with my family and others. I do not fully understand why I have had these experiences, but I feel compelled to share them.

You see, I have a natural heritage and a spiritual heritage to share with you. I never knew either of my grandmothers. They both died before I was born. The obituary of my maternal grandmother, Leona Tennessee Slagle Cross Case, states that she was a true Christian always doing what she could to help the cause of Christ. My paternal grandmother, Elizabeth Darby Barlett Herbert, died in 1895, at the young age of forty-two, when my father was only fifteen. Dad told me that she read the Bible daily and instilled that practice in him as well. Dad carried on her ritual and studied the Bible his entire life. Some might say he became a spiritual fanatic from reading the Bible. When his eyes weakened in his early sixties, he asked me, a young child, to read to him. I did, every night by a kerosene lamp, not understanding the heritage that was passed down to me, the third generation. In my golden years, I now realize what a privilege it was to have this spiritual heritage.

I pray that as you read my stories and chronicles, something will touch your heart. Maybe you will smile, perhaps you will laugh, it’s possible you will cry, and there’s a chance you will be surprised. Why? Because this book is not about perfect people, as you will soon learn. These are stories and records of failure and redemption, of hopelessness and faith, of imperfection and forgiveness, and of life and death. I am thankful for my heritage.

Helen Herbert Gillham

~~~~~~~

I am Helen’s second daughter (Debra), the writer retelling her story, and was only three years old when my maternal grandmother, Rhoda Margaret, died. But I have distinct memories of her—her mannerisms, her kindness, and the times spent in her home in California. My sisters and I knew her as Grandma Taft—that is, until we left California and moved to the Midwest in 1965. Soon after arriving, Mother took advantage of time in the car alone with us and said, Now, girls, when you talk about your grandmother, you need to call her Grandma Herbert. That’s what everyone calls her back here.

That seemed odd to me. I knew my grandparents had split up many years ago and that she had remarried—everyone knew that, so why not call her by her correct name? I was even more curious when we went to the cemetery with Mother to place flowers on Grandma’s grave. We parked the car in the narrow gravel path and walked over near the fence on the west side of the cemetery. The headstone was large and then I realized why. It was for two people. Of course her name, birth date, and date of death were inscribed, but to the left of her name was Grandpa’s, along with his date of birth and a blank space for the date of death. The name Herbert spanned across the top of the headstone as the last name for both of them. Over the next several years, growing from a child into a teenager, I was determined to get to the bottom of this mystery. It wasn’t easy because many of my mother’s older siblings, as well as her aunts, did not freely talk about the separation that disgraced the family. Why, after a bitter, hostile separation, would my grandmother agree to be buried next to the man she left? And yet, I knew my Grandpa as one who loved his family and, even more, loved God and his ways. Over the next decade, I came to know more about his spirituality, still remembered Grandma, and paid attention to my aunts and uncles when they spoke of years past.

Fast forward forty years—many more headstones have been inscribed. My mother is now a great-grandmother more than ten years beyond the age of her own mother when she died. To my surprise, she wants to tell her life story and asked me to help. We’ve peeled back layers of family history and documented things she knows and things she’s been told. We chronicled the events of her life (Chronicles and Snapshots) from the time she was born in 1934 through the time of this writing in 2016. The Chronicles and Snapshots are separated into sections covering a specific number of years. In each section, a short story from that span of years precedes the Chronicles and Snapshots. An introductory short story (The Vision) sets the stage for the purpose of the book, and family history is documented in the final section (The Clan).

I am pleased to present to you Mother’s story—Helen’s Heritage.

Debra Irene

Acknowledgments

I (Helen) have had a desire to tell my life story for about thirty years. I made many handwritten notes on a yellow tablet in the beginning and also recorded various memories on tapes. My daughter, Debbie, took this material about five years ago and has spent countless hours on interviewing, researching, and compiling of all of this material. I can’t thank her enough. My other daughters were with me each step of the way. Vickie researched our genealogy in more detail and helped with editing; Karin’s family scrapbook, which she presented to me several years ago, was helpful in gathering pictures and dates; and I had the full support of Kathy throughout the process.

Many friends and family members encouraged me to write this book and have asked when it will be done. I appreciate their encouragement and hope that they will now read my story.

God sent me a special friend, Lucille, who has been a teacher in my spiritual walk with the Lord for the past several years as well as a source of encouragement to complete this project. During the last three years that I lived in my home on the highway outside of Bolivar, she compiled a binder full of family records for me, which made verifying events and dates simple, with all the data at our fingertips. Most of this information—birth and death certificates, newspaper clippings, and pictures—had been gathered by my distant relatives and friends, Rena and Reva.

Most of the pictures were taken from my personal photo albums, but I do want to thank Sherry and Diann for providing a few others.

God bless all of you.

Helen Herbert Gillham

~~~~~~~~

I (Debra) had such good material to work with as I helped my mother write her life story. We both shed tears of joy, sadness, and appreciation throughout the process. In terms of organizing all of the information into a format for others to read, understand, and enjoy, all of the credit goes to the Lord. I continued to write by faith over the past few years in hopes that in the end, I could merge the material together into a book. Two years ago, I was recovering from a surgery at my mother’s home on the highway. I had prayed for an idea on how to bring this all together; while asleep on her couch, the format of short stories merged in with the Chronicles and Snapshots came to mind.

I am grateful for my sisters, as they cheered us on and will now celebrate with us.

Finally, I must thank Mary, who held me accountable to complete the work that was started, and Brenda. Without Brenda’s encouragement from all those years ago through today, there would be no stories written down, no blogs for the world to read, no books for me to hold, and certainly no website for others to view.

Debra Irene

The Vision

H elen! Helen!

The loud voice commanded attention. I awoke and sat up straight in bed. Although startled, I wasn’t afraid. I knew that it behooved me to pay attention to this voice and surely thought that it must have awakened everyone in the house. I sensed a presence at the foot of my bed. At this point, I was wide awake. I tried to identify who or what it was and then was told to read Ezekiel 33:7. The voice was bold and succinct.

Then I was transported to another place. Every kind of commotion I could have conjured up in my mind occurred at once before me. The roaring was like nothing I had ever heard—louder than a locomotive. I heard the sound of screeching car brakes. People ran and screamed, and the earth shook. I was in my brother Robert’s driveway with several small children—a half dozen or more—who clung to me for dear life. They were afraid and did not understand what was taking place, but I knew.

I comforted them and said, We don’t have to worry. It’s Jesus coming back.

I looked toward heaven, which now revealed a puffy, white cloud suspended in the air, painted against brilliant blue. Then I heard another distinctive sound of something shattering