Lies, Life, and Love

By Sandra Shook

Camdan Taylor has no idea what is ahead when she marries Mark Kincade. She just wants to be married and have a family, even justifying leaving her Christian beliefs behind. Sadly, it does not take long for reality to show her Mark’s love for money and his lifestyle, leaving her alone and ignored by his family. Through a series of events, she finds out he had a son before they were married. The child was terminally ill, and Mark signed away his rights at the hospital. He never told her, even though he knew she wanted a baby desperately. As the real Mark became more real, Camdan sets out on a quest to find the child. It is during all this that she finds her way back to the Lord and seeks ways to serve God, not herself. After almost dying, Camdan starts to heal and is looking forward to getting back to normal when there is a tragic accident involving her best friend’s wife. However, as the police investigate, they find she was not the intended target, and Mark is just one of the prime suspects. Again throwing her world in a different direction, she starts trying to help and move forward but not knowing what to expect next.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638746522

Book preview

Chapter 1

Sitting on the porch swing, looking out over the costly landscaped yard and extravagant sculptures, I remembered Mark’s furious outburst to my persistent expectation for the swing. My response actually startled him, I think, when I said, The house, the grounds, and the car were all your choices. The swing is mine, and I want it for relaxing in the evening, and for us. After a little more complaining, he finally agreed with stipulations. It had to be out of sight for the curb appeal, whatever that meant. Today, it was my only refuge. What had happened? What had changed? Was this the real person I had married a little over three years ago?

Thinking to myself, Camdan Renee Taylor, had loved her life as a first-grade teacher. It still brought a smile to my face. I remember as if it were yesterday. I had taken my class to the college library on a special outing. We were going in the door as he was coming out. I was smitten to say the least. I was staring at this tall, handsome man, whose big brown eyes and smile had made me forget I was there with twenty-two little ones. They were rushing in the door past the man who was trying to be a gentleman as he balanced a huge stack of law books. Suddenly, I was brought back to reality as the last child bumped the gentlemen, and his stack of books went flying all over the library steps. Even though he had tried to juggle them, the pages of the books now all over the steps fluttered in the breeze. I said, I am so sorry. This is their first outing of the year, and they are overly excited.

No problem. I am not good at juggling books or anything else to be honest, he said, smiling. It was like we both had been shot with Cupid’s arrow from that day forward. So much had changed since that wonderfully happy day, which seems so long ago now. I do not know who I am or what my life holds in store. Today, I feel like that child of fourteen again after the police officer had given Gramms and me the news of my parents’ fatal car crash.

Robert and Catherine Renee Taylor were the godly parents of only one child. I was named after my beautiful mother. My father always said I had not only her dark brown hair, her dancing green eyes, and her petite size, but also his courage, his ability to read people, and his love for children. Today, of all days, I desperately needed his wisdom and courage.

The truth was, I had jumped up and married Mark Kincaid so quickly, blaming it on my loneliness. I had convinced myself that he would come back to the Lord. His mother loved and served the Lord, and Mark had been raised in church. His excuse for not serving the Lord was that things would get better and settle down once he was working at the firm. However, like other promises that were not kept by Mark, those days had come and gone, and nothing had changed for the good, only for more of what Mark wanted and wants. Would we ever be happy again?

Sitting there alone on the porch swing, somehow part of me knew the answer. My past history of dealing with loneliness and uncertainty was not something I relished dealing with again.

Chapter 2

This morning was a typical Tuesday, Mark’s day to work from home.

In his office, on the phone, going over papers, and reading materials in certain folders. Then rushing out of his office, briefcase in hand, a peck on the cheek, and he was headed for the door to his fancy office at that Grand Rapids law firm. He stopped abruptly at the kitchen counter, refilling his coffee Yeti from the coffee machine. He asked, Hon, can you grab the file on the corner of my desk while I put creamer in my coffee?

We got to the front door at the same time. I stuck the file in the side pocket of his briefcase, and he was gone. If like normal, it could be six, seven, or eight o’clock before he got home tonight. Standing in front of the coffee machine, staring at the ring on my left hand, I made the decision. I was going to start teaching again, or at least subbing.

I loathed this never-ending silence. The only noise being my shoes clicking as I walked across the hardwood floor. I would go get the paperwork I needed and go to the administrative offices to get signed up today. Having made my decision, I walked over and sat down at the breakfast table with Bible in one hand and coffee in the other. Today, changes would be made, and for the first time in a while, I felt good about the day. Little did I know what my search for necessary employment papers would reveal.

The grandfather clock chimed 11:00 a.m. Thinking to myself that I needed to get a move on so I could get to the school offices around 1:00 p.m., I went into Mark’s office to the filing cabinet and pulled out the drawer marked Personal. Searching through the folders, I found appliance warranties and medical files for each of us, but nothing when it came to any of my previous teaching credentials and information. I closed the drawer and opened each of the other three drawers only to find client files and law paperwork regarding Mark’s job, but none of mine.

Puzzled, I half turned as I closed the last drawer. Glancing toward his desk, I saw the bottom drawer of Mark’s desk was partially open. This was not only odd but also unheard of. That drawer, according to Mark, could get him sued if someone saw those confidential client files.

I had never questioned his statement, accepting it as truth, since it sounded logical to me.

I sat down in Mark’s chair, pulling the drawer the rest of the way open. Convincing myself it would come to nothing to dispel the nervousness, I reasoned that my papers could have been misplaced in the back of the drawer. After all, they had to be somewhere. I honestly knew I would not read any of the client files even if I knew them. I just wanted to get started with my new job by finding my personal paperwork. I would tell Mark later.

I glanced at the first file labeled Auto. What client would be given the name Auto? I looked inside for the old manila envelope that contained my teaching certificate, but instead, there was a lease agreement and insurance policy for his car. There was also paperwork for my car, which I had owned since before we were married. This is just weird, I said aloud. Why had Mark said he had bought his car? I did not care if he leased, especially these days. Lots of people lease, especially for business reasons.

The next file was marked House. Yet another that was not a client file. To my surprise, I spoke aloud again, This is crazy! There was another lease agreement form. I clearly recalled the day Mark had me sign below his name on what he told me were mortgage papers. There were several yellow Post-it notes on the papers at that time. I now read the paperwork to see the words lease and lessees.

Now I was feeling naive as well as frustrated, so I stopped and took several deep breaths. Slowly, I closed my eyes and prayed, Lord, thank you for all you do for me. For loving me, even though I do not deserve it. As your child, I am totally confused right now. Please help me to stay calm and react the way you would want me to. I confess this is my fault. I married Mark because I wanted to, not because I asked if this was who you had planned for my husband. I’ve sinned against you, Father, and I am so sorry. Please forgive me, Father, and show me what to do. I feel betrayed and sad, which is how I’ve made you feel when I left you out of one of the most important times of my life. I have ignored the fact that I knew I was doing wrong. Thank you for loving me, in spite of me, and forgiving me. I love you, Lord! In Jesus’s name, amen.

I sat and stared at the drawer for a while. I knew I would not make it to the administrative offices today. My heart was not in it, and for now, I needed to take a step back, reassuring myself the Lord was in control.

After another cup of coffee, I knew it was time to see what other surprises were in the drawer. The next file was Insurance. There was a two hundred-thousand-dollar policy on each of us, and the beneficiaries were the spouse of the insured.

The next file was Partner. Inside were the papers saying Mark was working to become a junior partner first. Then when all the current senior partners felt he had reached that level, meeting their stipulations by overcoming their current concerns of client approval, working in court and with the judges, they would all have to agree he had reached that level, or they would close the position from him. Again, another deceptive lie. Mark had not presented it this way to me. He talked about it as if he were already a senior partner with a firm foot in the door and the full support of the firm. However, I did understand that this firm was one of the oldest and most respected in the city.

The next file was labelled Camdan. Finally! It contained my personal papers and work certification. I took the papers to the office copier, copied every page, and then placed the copies inside the manila envelope and into the folder while keeping the originals. I immediately took the originals and put them in a cookbook on the shelf in the kitchen.

Might as well go all the way with this, I thought. I slowly returned to the office desk and looked at the next folder labelled Bank. The statements in the folder were addressed to a post office box. The address was close to the law firm. Red flags and fireworks were going off in my head as I thought of Mark telling me how the bank had gone paperless. Again, I had never questioned him. If I used the debit card for gas, groceries, or something personal, I told him at the end of the day, leaving the receipt on his desk. The balance on the account was pretty much what he had told me.

However, the next banking statement showed different numbers from our joint account. It was titled Savings Account and was in Mark’s name only. Each month, there was a draft on the fifth for five thousand dollars to a computerized address, but no name or phone number for contact.

My thoughts were everywhere! What was he spending that kind of money on and where did the money come from that was in the savings account? I wanted to slam the drawer shut and go straight to Mark’s office, but I knew that was not what I should do.

Fearfully and ever so slowly, I looked in the back file, which had no file name. There was a birth certificate for a baby boy named Tobias Grayson. The mother’s name was Pamela Grayson. The father’s name was a blank. More papers were in the file. It was paperwork drawn up legally by Mark’s father pertaining to the baby. It said Mark would pay for the child to be kept in house in a clinic to be paid for in a bank draft for as long as medically needed as long as the mother did not try to contact the child or Mark.

There was a doctor’s report saying the child was terminally ill. My heart broke, and the tears were uncontrollable! Mark had a child! Where is he? Why haven’t we gone to see him? Why had he hidden the child?

Still wiping away my tears, I knew I had searched all I could for today.

I started making copies of every paper that I felt was pertinent to this whole mess, including all the pages about the child, which I had not started reading yet. Refilling the copier paper tray and installing a new ink cartridge had to be done to avoid questions from Mark. I made a mental note to buy replacements tomorrow and place them back in the drawer.

I put the drawer back in order just like Mark had left it, and then picking up my stack of copied files, I headed to my closet. On the top shelf were my suitcases stacked one inside another. Opening each one to get to the smallest of the three, I put the stack of papers inside, closed each one, and replaced them back on the shelf.

Chapter 3

Back in the kitchen, I realized it was time to start dinner in case Mark got away from work on time. As if on cue, the phone rang. It was Amanda, Mark’s newest administrative assistant. I had not yet met her, but she sounded nice and more mature than the last one, for sure.

Hi, Amanda, how are you? I said, knowing exactly what the call would be about.

I’m fine. Just wanted to give you a quick call. Mark and his dad are meeting with a couple of prospective clients. They are meeting them for dinner to try to impress them, I’d guess, Amanda said, giggling.

Okay. Thanks for letting me know. Did they say where they were going? I asked, knowing he had not said. Truth was, there may or not have been clients, but tonight, I was glad. This would give me time to regroup and prayerfully seek directions for what to do next.

My head throbbed, and my heart hurt. I wanted to know how old the baby was. Did he look like Mark, the mother, or both? Knowing how badly I wanted a child, why did he never tell me? He had to know me well enough to know I would have gladly taken care of him for as long as possible. What am I supposed to do to keep these thoughts from going through my head? The strange thing was, I hurt for an abandoned, sick child I had never known existed up to now. Even though he is a stranger to me, he is Mark’s child. To me, right now, that seemed more important than all of Mark’s lies and deceptive actions.

All I could think was, Lord, you know right where he is, and I pray you will comfort him and heal him. If it is Your will. I pray you will show me what I am supposed to do with this information I have learned today.

I did not eat. I showered and got ready for bed. I was asleep when Mark arrived home but heard him as he came in. The clock read 10:49 on my phone. I did not move or even acknowledge him, so he went right to bed quietly, probably thinking I was asleep. For some reason, I was relieved not to have to talk or even see his face at that point. Honestly, I did not know how to act nor talk to him.

The next morning, I got up a little later than usual as Mark was headed out the door. He smiled and said, I got in late and didn’t want to wake you. Are you feeling sick? You look a little pale.

I quickly took advantage of his question. Yes, a little. It’s nothing, I will be fine, I’m sure, I replied. At the same time, I was thinking, Eventually.

My mind kept going back to the baby boy. Slowly I continued the conversation, I think I will go see Gramms tonight and have some of her ‘fix it right up’ chicken soup.

He paused in the doorway and said, That sounds like a great idea. It’s been a while since you went to visit her. I nodded in agreement as he pulled the door closed behind him. Why did that feel so strange? I poured a cup of coffee and called Gramms. She was delighted but very perceptive to my confused state. I assured her I would explain everything and if Mark called to tell him you expect me any time after lunch.

As calmly as possible, knowing it would stun her, I asked, "Gramms, can you do me a big favor and call Roger Bailey to see if I can meet with him in the morning. I may have a job for him and his brother, Brian.

Almost immediately she replied, Of course, dear, but are you sure you are okay?

Gramms, thank you, but I am okay. I will explain when I get there. But please don’t mention any of this to Mark.

I understand. Well, no I really don’t. But I know you know what you are doing. Please call me when you are on your way, Camdan.

I agreed and went to pack as well as retrieve the suitcase of copies I had made. I also had to buy the replacement ink and copy paper I had used. To that list, I added an oversized three-ringed binder, dividers, and maybe a three-hole punch. I knew I had to get to the store and bring my purchases back, but if Mark should come home for something, I should put the small suitcase in the trunk before he could see it and ask questions, or worse, look inside.

Chapter 4

On the road at last, I started to call Gramms but decided to call Mark.

Not sure why I chose to do it or what the funny feeling in my mind meant. Amanda answered, Oh, hello, Mrs. Kincade. Mark is in with his dad right now. He had me cancel his afternoon appointments. He told me the two of you are going up to see your grandmother. I thought that was so sweet! Would you like for me to have him call you before he leaves the office?

My dry mouth felt like it was full of cotton balls, but I managed to get out, No, that is fine. It’s not important. No need to mention I called. I don’t want to rush him. Thanks so much, Amanda. I pushed the button on my phone to disconnect as quickly as I could.

At the intersection going to Gramms’s, I turned back toward town instead of heading for the law firm. I made good time not having to stop at every red light, which was usually how it went.

Once there, I started to question myself. What if he sees me or spots my car? Finally, I decided to park in the pay parking lot and go into the coffee shop across the street. I could watch from the window to see if Mark went straight to his car or which way he would go as he left. He would have to go across traffic and that would give me time to go out the side door to get to my car quickly to follow.

I ordered my coffee and sat down by the window. Suddenly, Mark came out of the firm’s main office door, smiling, briefcase in hand. He did look so professional! Then in a split second, a red convertible pulled to the curb with a beautiful blond driving. He dropped his briefcase in the back behind his seat, sliding into the front beside her. One hand was loosening his tie while his other hand grabbed her hair, pulling her toward him, as he leaned over to kiss blondie. I was shocked that I had remembered to snap a couple of pictures of them kissing and then another of the car pulling away as I tried to get the tag number! Looking at the pictures, the one of them kissing, was blurry, but the one of the car license plate was good. I thought it a weird what the tag number was, Judg 1. I hurried out to my car, hoping to be able to catch up in time.

I pulled out easily enough yet was surprised to see they were so far ahead. I still thought I could catch them, but the light changed suddenly. Then a second later, there was an accident right in front of me caused by a pickup that had run the red light. Several people were already at the site and a couple were on their phones calling 911 while looking at the cars and the street signs. Several of us were able to pull to the right side since we were not in the lane where the damaged vehicles were now stationary with broken parts scattered all over the area.

I knew I would never catch Mark and blondie now, so I headed to the highway to go on to Gramms’s. I pressed two on my phone and pushed speaker just as Gramms answered, On your way?

Yes, ma’am, just got on the highway. I will see you soon.

I’m so glad. Oh! I spoke to Roger. He is going to stop by on his way home. He told me, ‘If my sister is having issues necessitating an investigation, I am going to check on her as quickly as I can,’ Gramms said with a giggle.

I knew what she was thinking. She would have loved it if Roger and I had previously become more than best friends. He was like the grandson she never had. We loved each other, but more like a big brother and his sister. He married first to the love of his life. He and Macey made the perfect couple. They loved each other dearly and still do. They had four precious kids who Gramms loved to spoil.

Suddenly, I felt a little jealous of his wonderful family and how they were serving the Lord as Sunday school teachers while also working the bus route for the church. Gramms had said he had even preached a couple of times. I guess I really was not jealous of them. I just realized how little I had accomplished in my own life. Some major conviction would be a better statement.

Chapter 5

As I pulled onto the street where Gramms lived, I had to pull the car over to the shoulder while I sat and stared for a little while. Life had been so simple living with her before college and again after I had my teaching degree. I always felt loved and safe, not to mention secure in myself. That had all changed after I married Mark. I pretended it was my imagination, but in last two days, reality had hit me hard. I had a million questions going through my mind, but the strangest was my concern for a child. One I never knew, nor had his father ever mentioned. But my heart was heavy to find him, for both of our sakes.

I knew loss. I was left with Gramms the night my father had taken my mother to dinner to celebrate her fortieth birthday. We stood on the porch waving as they pulled away, not knowing that it was the last time we would see them alive. A drunk driver leaving his lane changed our lives forever that night. My parents as well as the driver were killed instantly. I lost my beloved parents, and Gramms, her precious son and daughter. I do not remember her ever introducing my mother as her daughter-in-law. But she was always the daughter she never had. The town of Sparta, Michigan, had lost its town pediatrician as well as a couple dedicated and loyal to their hometown. Gramms’s love and faith in the Lord got us both through those tragic, lonely times.

I vaguely remember pulling into the driveway, grabbing my purse and the bag with the oversize binder as well as the small suitcase containing all the previously undiscovered but soon-to-be-divulged inhumane secrets.

My plan was to put all the paperwork together in order to fill in Gramms before Roger arrived. I knew she would catch up quickly on the details then help me to remember as I shared with him. Plus, she could remind me of questions I might forget to ask in my state of mind. I felt like my brain was full of mush. Trying to stay on track was extremely difficult. One minute I would be thinking about returning to teaching, and the next, finding an abandoned, sick little boy.

Chapter 6

Gramms set a cup of chamomile tea by my right hand. Gently she said, This may help some. Just remember Roger has been like your big brother, and he has seen you cry before. Just take your time and try to relax.

Right on cue, the doorbell rang. Roger pushed open the door without waiting, as he had done since he was ten years old. He peeked around, shouting, Gramms, I’m home! It was their standing joke, but truth was, this was like his home. He had a grandmother in Gramms like he never had.

Get in this house, my dear boy! The homemade oatmeal, walnut, chocolate chip cookies are getting cold! Gramms exclaimed with her smile of pure delight as she rushed to hug him. "It has been too long since we have seen you here. I