All You Have to Give Me: Personal Relationship with Jesus

By Joan Holdcroft

Have you ever faced a situation that was so overwhelming or so confusing you didn't even know how to pray about it? Have you ever been so overcome with grief or burdened by heartache you couldn't put your emotions into words---much less pray about them?

(Billy Graham: Hope for Each Day)

What a comfort these words should be: "The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us... in accordance with God's will."

(Romans 8:26-27, NIV)

"Turn to God in every situation---even when you don't feel like it. The Spirit is interceding for you, in accordance with God's will."

(Billy Graham: Hope for Each Day)

The Lord put it on my heart many years ago, to write a book about my Salvation experience. I never would have believed that Jesus would appear to me, "in the flesh", but He did. Nor would I have believed that I would have been blessed enough, to have such long conversation with Him, but I did.

In his book, Hope for Each Day, Billy Graham states, "Although many of us fear the unknown, Jesus Christ can bring peace to those who trust in Him. When we give control to the Lord, He protects us. That is why Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to live in us, to lift us up, as we continue to live out our lives. I pray this book will be a blessing, to everyone that reads it. May our Lord be your encourager and Savior."

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 12, 2022
• ISBN: 9781643499574

Book preview

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All You Have to Give Me

Personal Relationship with Jesus

Joan Holdcroft

ISBN 978-1-64349-956-7 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64349-957-4 (digital)

Copyright © 2022 by Joan Holdcroft

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Foreword

My wife, Joan, is a loving, caring person. I cannot put all of her good deeds into words. She is always there to help and care for my needs, and beyond. Her thoughts are not just for herself. Her actions demonstrate her feelings. Her love for the Lord is unquestionable. And, it is not contained within herself, but has an outward expression for people to see. For her to write this testimony, it took courage and strength, and help from the Holy Spirit. I love my wife and the person she is. I thank the Lord that she is part of my life and overlooks my faults. I thank the Lord for the anointing on her life and the opportunity to proclaim the Word of God. She is a blessing to me and the family.

—Boyd Holdcroft Sr.

I have known Joan Holdcroft for 25+ years and had the privilege of serving as her pastor for several years. She is indeed a godly woman who is a good and faithful servant of the Lord. I found her book intriguing and learned things about Joan and her life that I had never known before. Once I started her book, I could not put it down, so I read it all the way through. I believe that she has had, and continues to have, an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior and has experienced the presence and the power of the Holy Spirit in her life. By God’s abundant grace, she has learned to deal with the highs and lows of life. Her book offers an inside look at how God longs to work in our lives on a daily basis. It may open up for you as it did for me, a more intimate understanding of how the Lord works in our individual lives today to meet us where we are and offer to us what we need. I’m convinced that you will be touched by Joan’s personal testimony as you read her story of one person’s intimate relationship with God. Enjoy the read, for it comes from a woman of great faith.

—Pastor G. Lee McClanathan (Rockford, Illinois)

Preface

I was guided by the Lord to write this book. Although the thoughts and words are mine, they were truly inspired by the Holy Spirit.

Proverbs 16:3 Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established. If one turns over to the Lord, what he plans to do, his life purposes will come to fruition.

I did not heed Jesus’ warning, and my choices left me vulnerable to Satan’s attack. It is clear to me now, that I had fallen out of the umbrella of His protection.

It is my prayer that this book, All You Have to Give Me, will help your understanding that the Holy Spirit is always there to help and guide you with any decisions life sends your way.

My life changed completely, and I have never been the same since that vision and conversation I had with the Lord, so long ago. Although I did not always put the Lord first in my younger years, and I made some wrong choices that changed the course of my life, that vision gave me the strength to battle Satan and overcome the challenges he brought forth. I never let bitterness, anger, resentment, hurt, or discouragement dim my view of Christ. He is first and foremost in my life, and I am so thankful to be one of His own.

My Testimony

Part One

Before I begin, I would like to clarify something:

The stories in this book reflect a time of my life when I did not know what I know today. I was of the mistaken belief that the church I refer to in my testimony was the only church where I could learn more of God and draw nearer to Him. Even though that was not so, the Lord still honored my hunger and desire to know more of Him.

And behold, two of them went that same day to a village called Emmaus, which was from Jerusalem about threescore furlongs. And they talked together of all these things which had happened. And it came to pass, that, while they communed together and reasoned, Jesus Himself drew near, and went with them. But their eyes were holden that they should not know Him. (Luke 24:13-16)—Taken from the Word of God King James Bible Easy Reading Margin Edition.

The road to Emmaus has always been very special to me because I have consoled myself with the knowledge that Cleopas and his fellow traveler did not recognize Jesus at first, nor did the eleven disciples when He appeared to them. Then there was I, who was so sure He was an actor in a Passion play. It eased my mind to realize that others long ago had not recognized Jesus when He appeared to them, so at least I was in good company.

Where church and religion were concerned, during my growing-up years, I felt very inadequate, or inferior, to some of my peers because I did not come from a churchgoing family. I had a very good mother and father, and I thank the Lord for them and the good upbringing they provided me. Although they were good parents, I always thought how wonderful it would be to go to church as a family and regularly attend Sunday school. My folks generally only made it to church on Christmas and Easter, if then. I attended Sunday school, but when spring arrived, our family had to make our weekly pilgrimage to the family cabin every weekend, without fail, until winter returned. I was absent from so many classes that my Sunday school teacher would question my priorities (something over which I had no control). I was easily discouraged, and it was a vicious cycle. Every year I would just get started again, spring would come, and history would repeat itself once more.

Most of my friends belonged to the large mainline church just a few blocks from my house. During seventh and eighth grades, I can remember sitting on the steps outside of the church and waiting for them while they were in their confirmation classes. One time, the minister came out to talk with the kids before he let them in for class. My boyfriend asked if I could come in for class. The minister said I could, if it was all right with my parents.

I ran home as fast as my legs would carry me, but my parents would not give their permission. They said that I had my own church to attend. So, I returned to the church and sat on the steps. As I waited for my friends, I prayed silently that one day I could also attend and learn from that kind minister.

Little did I know, that what I wanted so badly to be a part of, would not have taught me what I ended up learning. I did not realize at that young age what salvation was. I attended church from my childhood, through my teenage years, yet I was never taught the way of salvation. I was brought up in an atmosphere that did not prepare me for the challenges in my life. It was quite a shock when the Word of God was revealed to me in a more accurate way than I had ever known before.

I asked my parents several times then, and when I was in high school, if I could attend that church, but the answer was always no. However, when I got to college, I somehow mustered up the courage to attend there, though probably still against their wishes. I was seriously considering making a decision for Christ and joining the Campus Christians.

Having some extra time before my next class, I thought I’d find where the women’s lounge was. There was only one girl in there, and to my surprise, I knew her, though not well. She had been two years ahead of me in high school. (Let’s call her Helen.)

I visited the lounge as often as I could. It was as though I was drawn to it. There was a feeling of contentment that I could not explain. Often, when I walked in, Helen would be curled up on the sofa. She had such a spirit of peace and contentment about her that intrigued me.

I wanted that! We talked frequently, and she witnessed to me in subtle ways. I realize now that she must have been praying for me, as well as planting a few seeds in the fertile soil of my hungry, searching spirit. She told me that she was a member of Campus Christians, so frequently I would go there on my lunch break and pray, reflect, or just wait in silence to see if the Lord