The Absolution Tap

By Paul Bristol

The Absolution Tap represents the journey of one man’s search for clarity in mastering his lifelong, ongoing dance with depression. Via the power of resurrected faith, forgiveness, and his unique metaphorical perspective on the management and interaction of his “life tanks,” author Paul Bristol has discovered the path to his “middle lane of inner peace.” By breaking the destructive cycle of being comfortable with discomfort and in changing how life events are interpreted and processed, one can begin the construction of a new life narrative that lies in wait to help master, medication-free, that “dance with the ghost.” “It’s not about your past and the players who are riding on your “team bus,” but about who you choose to put behind the wheel each and every day that determines your life course. Through faith and absolute, entrenched forgiveness, there is no obstacle that you cannot conquer” (Paul Bristol, The Absolution Tap).

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 11, 2020
• ISBN: 9781662406089

Book preview

Chapter 1

The Reason for the SELF-TREASON

Aquestion that myself and others have asked is, What is my purpose for writing this book? I do not spend a great deal of time in figuring out why, but I would be would be remiss if I said that I didn’t consider the meaning behind all this. I mean, what could possibly go wrong in opening up about all your personal struggles, leaving your past, bloodied ego bobbing in an ocean of hungry sharks? There are no critical people out there who would take great joy in taking a shot at shredding someone’s attempt to help themselves and others. That’s nonsense! Okay, I just climbed out from under my rock, so disregard that last Pollyannaish view. Haha! The last nine years of running a nonprofit has definitely proved that spiteful sharks in this world are far from being an endangered species. I am fully aware of the beating that this book will take, but the bottom line is that I simply don’t give a rat’s ass, or any other mammal’s ass, in the name of being politically correct and nonbiased toward rats, about what critics will think. I am not advocating this approach for anyone, but am merely describing what works for me in keeping my own life raft afloat. People can dissect it all they want, but it really doesn’t matter, for no one can tell me more about my journey than me, myself, and I. Too many people think they know what is best for everyone else around them, with my take being that often times the most critical are the ones who are the most out of control inside of their own war room. One of my favorite metaphors is the model of the emotional arsonist, which I will expound upon more in a later chapter. Those whose internal houses are ablaze will often go out and start fires in neighbor’s yards just to keep the focus off their own out-of-control burn inside their own abode. I feel that is a key, subconscious coping mechanism for those who suffer from personality issues, but I will try to steer away from too much clinical jargon, as my education, training, experience, and lack of letters behind my name suggests I should not ride my horse in that arena. Sometimes thoughts and theories just find me, despite spending little time trying to figure someone out. Thoughts simply pop up for something to consider. Yes, I graduated from Cal State Northridge with a BA in psychology and worked six years in the field at a residential group home for teens and at the local hospital psychiatric ward where I did ER evaluations and facilitated group, family, and individual counseling sessions. Not all my education is from Redneck U! For the past twenty-six years, I have retained employment as a railroad engineer. Putting that education to use, by