Survivor List

By Neisa Wilhite

In order to become completely healed, I had to reflect on the things throughout my life that contribute to the mental and emotional state that I had lived most of my life. Things that happened during my childhood continued to control me as an adult. Once I made the choice of finding who I truly was, I was able to see that even the worst of things turned out for my good. Knowing the root of the problem helps to make sense in a senseless world. Surviving Part 1 is just a glimpse of my perspective, on how things seemed as a child. How a relationship with God could look not worth it. I am a testimony that most children truly need people in their lives who are willing to truly pray for them every day. Prayer and faith do change everything. By never losing my faith and waiting on God, I can walk in favor and take all the things that hurt me to all the things I learned as a child by being nosey and use it for the God. My story is to influence others to cast all their pains, rejections, bitterness, and hurts onto the Lord. He hears all our prayers and cries. Break all chains of generational cures so that generational blessings will become the legacy left behind for others.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 6, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098030162

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Survivor List

Neisa Wilhite

Copyright © 2021 by Neisa Wilhite

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Acknowledging It

The Desire

It All Came to Pass

Putting the Pieces Together

The Ugly Truth

I Survived

Surviving

Survivor

Becoming

We all have survival instincts that is given to us the moment we were created in our mother’s womb. We gather additional tools along the way. Just like a mechanic who has a basic tool set, so should we; and throughout time, we should obtain a specialty tool, our purpose. We can use different tools to fix the same problem. There are many ways to surviving. The tools I received began when I came into this world, from what I inherited, my upbringing, tools I picked up along the way and had no knowledge on what they were or how to utilize them correctly.

You may relate to my journey, but how you deal with your life depends on you! It is time to check your survival list. Cast all your broken tools out. When I stopped taking shortcuts, I discovered my purpose. To survive, I needed to check my tool list. What was in my basic tools? How was I going to obtain and use my specialty tool if I did not have Jesus?

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father but by me. (John 14:6)

In memory of my grammie Betty Jo Darnell, thank you for encouraging me to write, to tell the story just as I had written. This story is a collaboration of your life and my journey.

Your biggest fan,

FeeTee Girl

Chapter 1

Acknowledging It

I am going to share how I went from surviving to becoming a survivor. As a child, I was considered what you would call a nosy little bee. In today’s era, I would be considered an ear hustler. The nosy title has followed me throughout my life. Knowing things that others did not know can be powerful and should be handled with care. Moments in my life taught me to never abuse my power and authority and how to use my words accordingly.

I was labeled throughout my family as a disobedient child growing up, the one who’s thought differently than most children my age. I was known by my ability to hold more intellectual conversation by the time I was seven years old. I have learned that being that inquisitive child has been my lifeline as an adult. I am nosy in a good way. I do not use my knowledge to hurt, manipulate, nor deceive others.

The saying Hurt people hurt people has always been in the back of my mind. I knew, in time of confrontation, that my words would hurt. A child that experienced more hurt than most people could conceptualize. I sought out to be kind to everyone.

Often in families, we tend to cover up the underlining problems that continuously divide us. Generation after generation, bitterness, envy, and hatred intensifies based off harbored feelings and egos of the adults before us. My grammie prayed for the day that her children, grandchildren, or great-grandchildren would truly accept the presence of the Lord, to break those chains that has kept our family in bondage.

It was her prayers and encouragement that I would acknowledge my gift and I would use it according to God’s will so that my work would be to help build the kingdom. My grammie mentored me for the first thirty years of my life; and on her dying bed, she spoke to me and said, It’s on you. Keep praying over this family. I have spent twelve years hiding from her statement.

There was this nagging feeling, an overwhelming desire of purpose brewing within me. It was fear, hurt, and shame that kept me in background. Already isolated within my family, I did not want to rock the boat any further. I kept praying and believing that one day I would receive insight into who I was.

Sometimes my prayer seems to go unanswered. With God’s timing, we are made aware of those things. When I look back on what seemed to be a tragedy, I realize that God was there all along. I made the choice to allow my story to give Him glory! There are moments in life when I realized the Jesus never left my side. Some will ask, why did God allow bad things to happen to children? I questioned it throughout my life. The answer was clear. The things that happened were not isolated incidents. These things were generational curses.

The enemy is aware of our spiritual gifts and purpose. He will use anyone to try and keep a stronghold on families. No one is excluded from his attempts. Calling the sin out and casting the devil and all his minions straight to the pits of hell sets you free.

Belonging in a family orchestrated by so many kept secrets, lies, and manipulation made it hard to understand what I was against. The desire that it must be a better way deepened. I have been prepared for battle since the day I was born.

Who is wild enough, bold enough, brave enough to take on a spiritual family fight? This position required someone who would love no matter what, someone who could look beyond the sin. Who would be the one to declare and decree that the enemy cannot have the family? Someone who would say his name—Jesus!—and walk away knowing the battle is won.

I set out to right my wrongs, apologized to those that I had hurt, turned to God for healing from all those that hurt me. My