My mom’s voice was strained. “There’s something I need to tell you, and it’s going to rock your world.” I was 45 years old, still grieving my dad’s death the previous year.
Mom explained that in the early 1970s, my dad learned he was incapable of fathering children. Heartbroken, they saw a physician who suggested using a sperm donor.
And there it was—the truth. My dad, whom I loved and missed more than seemed possible, was not my biological father.
With recent developments in DNA testing, many people are discovering that their paternity differs from what they believed. They might find that they were adopted, conceived through a sperm donor, or conceived naturally by a different father. The revelation is fraught with emotion, both for us learning the news and for our parents, who may never have intended for us to know.
Thankfully, you can navigate the overwhelming emotions and decisions that follow such life-changing news. Here are six steps to working through a big revelation about your genetic family, based on my experience as both a doctor and the child of a sperm donor.
STEP 1 Don’t Seek Answers Right Away
My first impulse was to find my sperm donor’s identity through DNA analysis. There was an entire piece of my existence unknown to me, and I wanted answers! But my husband suggested I wait a few months,
