THE CALLING: Seated at the Table with the Broken

By Richard J. Stephens MA Jr.

Learning from a young age about the importance of fair play, honor, and integrity, US Navy veteran, former mayor, and Retired County Sheriff Richard Stephens filled multiple roles throughout his thirty plus years of law enforcement and public service. From standing on the same ground where lives were taken, leading teams into dangerous situations, and ensuring those who were entrusted him with their safety lived to see another day, little did he know the impact his chosen calling would ultimately have upon him, both physically and emotionally. Plagued with unresolved trauma, Richard carried on as any peace officer would, hiding the remnants of a lifetime of darkness deep within the confines of his mind to maintain his personal dignity as a leader and protector.

Overtaken by the darkness of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress, Richard was subjected to the life-altering concept of Crisis Intervention Teams. Learning the benefits of behavioral health and wellness, Richard began the journey of bringing law enforcement wellness to the forefront of our minds through providing a glimpse into the minds of the modern-day police servant.

This must-read account provides a detailed action plan for understanding what officers feel, think, and consider when carrying out their duty. With the goal of building relationships and fostering cooperation between law enforcement and behavioral health partners, this gripping account of one man's journey of personal growth is a staple for every professional hoping to effect change.

Follow along as Richard describes countless life events, horrifying encounters, and lifelines he has discovered throughout his years of service. This realistic real-life story is about overcoming obstacles while enhancing our understanding about why cops think what they think and act in the manner they do. It's a journey into awareness and relationship building centered around commitment, understanding, and wellness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 7, 2022
• ISBN: 9781684987405

Book preview

THE

CALLING

SEATED AT THE TABLE WITH THE BROKEN

Richard J. Stephens Jr., MA

Copyright © 2022 Richard J. Stephens Jr., MA

All rights reserved

First Edition

NEWMAN SPRINGS PUBLISHING

320 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ 07701

First originally published by Newman Springs Publishing 2022

It is not legal to reproduce, duplicate, or transmit any part of this document in either electronic means or printed format. Recording of this publication is strictly prohibited.

ISBN 978-1-68498-739-9 (Paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88763-280-3 (Hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-68498-740-5 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

CONTENTS

Acknowledgment

Introduction

Part 1 Understanding the Call

Chapter 1 The Question Why?

Chapter 2 Foundations Laid

Chapter 3 Perceptions

Chapter 4 Peace versus Police

Chapter 5 Societal Views

Chapter 6 A Look at Who Makes Up the Badge

Chapter 7 The Humorous Side of Policing

Chapter 8 The Painful Side of Policing

Chapter 9 The Person Serving You

Part 2 Seated at the Table with the Broken

Chapter 10 An Early Understanding of Pain

Chapter 11 Early Foundational Cracks

Chapter 12 Brotherhood Tested and Transitions

Chapter 13 The Disaster Effect

Chapter 14 Losses and New Beginnings

Chapter 15 Total Destruction and Loss

Chapter 16 Officer Down

Chapter 17 The Disaster Response

Chapter 18 A Tired, Hurting Leader

Chapter 19 Fighting Monsters

Chapter 20 A Change in Mindset

Conclusion

Acknowledgments

Bibliography

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

Understanding the impact individuals have on our lives is many times hidden within the veil of time. As with many, throughout my youth, my parents, Dick and Charlene Stephens, were viewed as kind providers who, although acting in a manner to help me obtain self-sufficiency, were, in my young mind, merely barriers to growth and simply too old-fashioned to truly grasp the modern view of society. As with any progression, time proved my assertion to be false. Looking back from an older set of eyes, I now understand the value of the foundations that were laid by them both, for it was those same foundations that created who I have become and set the tone for my decision-making and success over the years. Words cannot express the appreciation and admiration I have for them. Their tutelage not only set the tone for my life but likewise for this expression of true identity.

INTRODUCTION

The men and women associated with the field of law enforcement encounter a wide variety of challenges, both external and internal, as they carry out their duty to the public. Whether our goal is to enact positive change within the countless police and sheriff’s offices throughout our world or to simply provide them with support, obtaining a deep understanding of who the men and women serving our communities are is essential. Likewise, understanding what makes up the law enforcement officer—their likes, dislikes, aspirations, and fears—will ultimately help us broaden our understanding of who those wearing the badge are and why they choose to serve in communities throughout the world.

Throughout this literary offering, the reader will embark upon a journey alongside one career servant to his community, walking along as he discloses the joys and pain, excitement and frustrations associated with police work in our modern times. Reliving one man’s travels as he serves his communities in both leadership and subordinate roles, we will watch as the experiences, which only those daring to pin on a badge, come to life in all its glory and pain.

Upon obtaining a firm grasp of the reality of police work, the reader will be able to recognize that a lesser-known aspect associated with police work is the emotional toll experienced by our servant officers. Being constantly subjected to the emotional pains, trauma, and discourse our law enforcement officials experience daily, we quickly learn that the mere nature of the field causes officers to simply place the trauma in the back of their mind. This aspect is readily accepted throughout the law enforcement culture because of the officers’ viewing themselves as an alpha protector of not only their community but also their brotherhood. Following years of untreated trauma, the proverbial buildup of emotion caused by the untreated police mind can have disastrous effects on not only the individual officer but his community and organization as well.

Developing strategies consistent with lowering the stigma associated with police mental health, enacting officer wellness procedures, and engaging in innovative approaches designed to create partnerships between the behavioral health and law enforcement industries will enhance our ability to increase awareness and ultimately provide a well-rounded, healthier police culture.

The ability to place himself in the shoes of each law enforcement officer is enhanced not only because of Richard’s service of over thirty years in the law enforcement industry. His serving in the roles of detention officer, patrolman, department trainer, and department administrator has equipped him to pass on his knowledge through personal experience to both police and behavioral health professionals alike. Additionally, Richard’s experience and ideals create the perfect foundation for each reader’s enhanced understanding of the importance of acting rather than simply reacting as we combat the enormous task of ensuring our law enforcement officials are equipped to recognize and successfully enhance their own personal wellness.

PART 1

Understanding the Call

Leadership is influence.

—John C. Maxwell

For one to truly understand the enormity of the leader’s role within a law enforcement community, they must first understand the field itself. Unlike any other career, the role of law enforcement in modern society carries with it a duty and responsibility beyond common understanding. This literary offering attempts to bring the reader inside the minds of our law enforcement professionals and allow them to walk in the boots of those adorning the badge. Our ability to place ourselves within the mind of the modern police professional will, in turn, open the door to a better understanding of their leadership concepts, mantras, and interaction with those segments in society that they serve.

I recall, midway through my career in law enforcement, reviewing a study relating to the use of force by police and the gauge by which reasonableness of actions were decided. It was noted by the author that normal, everyday citizens can never fully grasp the true nature of police use of force and reasonableness. I would venture to take that statement to a broader level and assert that the normal, everyday person simply cannot truly understand the joy, pain, and immense suffering our men and women bear daily while carrying out their service to their communities. This aspect of our human psychological makeup is not a hard-and-fast rule adorned with volumes of scientific research and sources but rather a streamlined, common sense evaluation that will leave peace officers and like-minded individuals to agree and those opposed to the theory in full disagreement.

The concept of understanding the mind and actions of a seasoned peace officer is a difficult one. These offering attempts to bring a greater understanding as to what thoughts and considerations by peace officers and their leaders came into play while embarking upon the decision-making process throughout several major events.

The role of peace officer and leader has long been a calling to me. The nobility of the path traveled, people encountered, and services rendered is widely known to those serving yet unknown to many critics outside the field. Understanding that the path chosen and the persistence therein are noble simply ensures continuity and appropriate follow-through. The events experienced over time and the lesson’s learned set the foundation for appropriate action and successful use of concepts designed to ensure that our communities and staff will remain resilient and safe regardless of the events unfolding before us.

CHAPTER 1

The Question Why?

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office.

—Dwight D. Eisenhower

While experiencing a moment of solace in a manner not unlike many others throughout my life, I found myself prostrate on the overstuffed piece of heaven I called my couch, the same item of furniture I many times found relief upon following a trying day. The sun gently painted a warm swath across the same arms that had earlier that day been engaged in comforting the family of a man who was preparing to breathe one final breath following a lifetime of hard work and dedication to his family.

The relaxation obtained at that moment was welcomed beyond all reasonable understanding. Although the room was filled with the joyful grunts and mannerisms of two recent additions to the family, it was undisputable in its calmness. The voices of the two- and three-year-old angels contributed to the cessation of stress during that and many similar moments. Although the angels’ arrival into our den was unexpected by myself and my honorable wife, their inclusion created an opportunity to put words into action, sacrificing our own personal desires in hopes of creating a more fruitful life for others. The tragedy of losing their parents a mere year prior left the angels orphaned in a world seemingly unraveling at its seams and searching for hope. Neither my wife nor I could ever have fathomed the impact they would have upon our lives.

The recent events throughout the State of Missouri and the United States of America pertaining to the use of force by American police added to the general disdain by a largely audible faction of society. This complex series of perceptively unobtainable standards being demanded by angry citizens along with the visible distrust and disdain weighed heavily upon my mind at that moment. While attempting to slow my racing mind, I began viewing the same social media sites I routinely found enjoyment in. As I peered upon the tiny screen, viewing photographs of family members, friends, and acquaintances, a smile began to emerge as it had many times previous.

The frame quickly turned as my hands caused the next post to emerge. My aging eyes began to focus on the image while I simultaneously felt the air leave the same lungs that sustained my existence. I peered upon the image, stunned at the honesty as well as the enormity of its simple content. The depiction of a warrior lay before my eyes. Not your everyday medieval iron-clad, sword-toting warrior but that of a modern American warrior. The image of a single peace officer, clad in a modern warrior’s armor, posed with his back placed toward the viewer, seemingly peering into the distance. His head, slightly turned, revealed within his eyes his perceived intent toward considering which act of service would soon confront him.

The feeling of awe took over every fragment of my being at that moment. The emotion that overtook me was not awed in the sense of coveting the officer or image. It was a feeling void of any sense of awe due to my desire to stand in his shadow or alongside him as he carried out his duty of serving the public he swore to uphold. Rather, I experienced an awe of understanding.

My emotions quickly turned to an unmistakable feeling of hurt, frustration, and the lack of any ability to adequately find words. The emotion was derived from the constant verbal assertions throughout the modern media and our society during the years 2014 through the present date pertaining to the militarization of police forces. As many of our cities experience protests throughout their streets, large bands of the criminal element have emerged. While attempting to thwart the efforts of the criminal bands, the peace forces employed by the cities and states, following historically proven and acceptable methods, have attempted to preserve life and property.

My mind raced back to the day earlier when I recalled viewing the video images of the peace officers attempting to carry out their task of protection, all while being subjected to items such as bottles, rocks, and other blunt objects being thrown at them. I observed officers and positions being subjected to shots being fired at their person and in their direction. Hateful verbal and physical attacks were visible as those sworn to protect others were thrust into an unwanted sense of self-preservation. As I lay, shifting to my back, I considered why.

My thirty-plus years of service to my community as a peace officer and public servant has left me with the ability to understand what was visible within the eyes of the warrior in the image. I understood what concerns, fears, and hopes traversed his thoughts. Possessing this knowledge while contemplating the current events of the Ferguson, Missouri, riots caused me to contemplate why the warrior must don his armor. Why must he be equipped with a helmet, vest, extra ammunition, and other tools of his trade?

The thought of why a warrior must not only possess but also become proficient in the use of such protective equipment became a minor consideration within the confines of my thoughts. My mind quickly moved toward the thoughts of why anyone would find fault in a man or woman for protecting oneself. Who could reasonably consider it offensive for a person to possess the equipment designed innocently to protect its bearer against harm while aiding the wearer through providing for his or her needs during battle?

While fighting back the gut-wrenching knowledge that many in our glorious country fail to view the use of equipment and/or tools by peace officers in the same manner I do, the word why surfaced. My thoughts attempted vehemently to understand two main processes: the first, why does a man or woman leave the comfort of his or her home to protect another’s? Why would a person kiss their child in the morning, knowing that there was a good chance that they may never make it home again to hug that same child? Why would a young or old person run into a situation his mind screams to run from? The second thought process I struggled to understand is simply why wouldn’t anyone want their friend, family, or loved one to be protected against harm using the most sensible modern equipment designed to bring them home to their families each day?

As I lay considering all these things, my mind could not retreat from the frustration from my inability to understand why these tools possessed by officers and the men and women sworn to serve, themselves, brought forth so much fear. The knowledge of the ever-present political correctness associated with hatred and distain toward the modern law enforcement officer left me with one basic answer: they simply have no understanding of who those daring to don the badge are and what their purpose and motivation really are. In our modern society and, undoubtedly, throughout history, few know, let alone understand, the calling of a peace officer.

History undoubtedly has not always viewed the role of the peace officer in a negative light. Although very little effort toward research on anyone’s part will reveal that there have been moments throughout our civilization when the animosity and ill will toward the police are present, most citizens consistently viewed those wearing the badge as helpmates and honorable. So when did our nation turn from the days of Mayberry? What contributing factors caused our view of the local, state, and federal law enforcement