Remember I Left You Each Other

By Michaela Ryanne

Maggie spent her whole life feeling like her parents hated her. While her father was one of the most well-known authors and her mother was a small town's biggest celebrity, they did not show much interest in their children, or so Maggie thought.

When her father suddenly passes away, she flies home to be there for her siblings. Things take

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michaela Ryanne
• Release date: Feb 3, 2023
• ISBN: 9781088091005

Michaela Ryanne

Michaela Ryanne is a writer and a YouTuber. She studies Journalism in Texas. In Her free time, she enjoys reading and playing with her dog.

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Remember I Left You Each Other

Michaela Ryanne

This is a work of fiction. All names, places, settings, and events are the work of the author's imagination. 

Copyright © Michaela Ryanne

The author retains copyright of all the things in this novel. No samples of this book are allowed to be used unless it is quotes for review. 

Cover design by Michaela Ryanne.

Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door. -Emily Dickinson

To my father, it would have been nice to have more time with you.

To my mother, thank you for being the parent who was there for me.

1

Growing up, summer was my favorite season in Castine.

The heat was an excellent excuse to always be in the water. I didn’t have school, so my best friend, Arlo, could have all the sleepovers we wanted. My brother and sister would stay with me playing games in my room. Most importantly, my dad was home.

He was a published mystery novelist that traveled often. Since his publishing office was in Vancouver, he spent a great deal of time there except in the summer. He was a stay-at-home dad every day, which my siblings and I loved. Sometimes, when I woke up in the morning, I would smell his famous blueberry waffles and espresso from my room. My little brother Taylor and baby sister Reed would fight me over who got the last waffle, and my father would laugh while he watched all of us. My mom was busy teaching summer school, but we had barbeques, game nights, and movie nights when she got off. I remember thinking that I was not living unless it was summer. And then it would become fall…

As the leaves fell, so did the mood of my family. My dad would be busy working on his new book, so my mom would complain that she was the only one who did anything for all of us. Taylor would get busy with track and lacrosse while Reed got lost in whoever she was dating. I was usually alone with my books and thoughts when Arlo was cheerleading. There were no legendary blueberry waffles or family game nights because life, as it seemed back then, fell flat when flip-flops were no longer the shoe you grabbed to wear for the day.

I decided not to dwell on the uneasy feelings regarding my family’s issues. Something I came up with was looking forward to college. New York University was my dream! I wanted to be a show writer, and going to the heart of talent was an excellent way to do that. I could be writing a comedy while living in the upper east side, drinking my expensive lattes, and not worry that when I was sixteen, I never felt wanted by my family. I never thought I needed much, either. I could get away from all this pain and be excited about my life.

Four years ago, my dream came true. Arlo and I were accepted to NYU, so we decided to move there and be roommates. We both had to work two jobs while full-time students, but we were doing it! I had the opportunity to work on two sets but didn’t get to write on either. All I did was get coffee and lunch, but the people I was getting those things for were some of the best in the business, and when the time came around to hire me, they would remember me. Arlo did a fantastic job dancing in almost every school show and had a giant following on social media, which is helpful when we need groceries for the week. We have expensive lattes in the morning together before school, which is extraordinary. In four months, our college lives are over, and our post-grad lives begin. Hopefully, I will have a job by then.

Everything seemed to be going according to plan until tonight when my phone rang, and Taylor's name appeared on my phone. I don’t have to answer it to know that something is wrong. My stomach gets tight, and I begin to feel nauseous. Taylor has early classes in Maine, so he wouldn’t be calling me right now if it wasn’t necessary. I hit the green button on my phone and hold my breath, Taylor, what’s wrong?

Maggie, dad had a heart attack. I hear his voice trying not to cry into the phone. He… didn’t make it.

I shake my head like he is wrong, but I know he isn’t. He wouldn’t call me if there were a possibility that he was wrong. What are you talking about?

Mags, they took him into the ICU a little while ago, but they couldn’t help him. He… he just died.

He just died. It didn’t sound right. He wouldn’t just die on everyone.

Except he did die. My father died and I have not spoken to him in a year.

2

Arlo and I took a flight out this morning in order to get to the funeral on time. We won’t have any time to change before we get to the cemetery so we had to be dressed on the plane. Eyes lingered on us the whole flight as if we worked for death himself and they were spooked.

Taylor and I spent hours on the phone in the middle of the night last night talking about mom, dad, grandma and the town. My family lives in Castine, Maine which has a population of approximately 1,400 people. It was right by the water and the subject of my father's first crime novel In The Dead of Night. It was about a series of murders involving stay-at-home women (my mom tried hard to not read into it) who were murdered over the span of ten years. It was a masterpiece and after news hit of my father's passing, it was at the top of the New York Times best-seller list.

I was not thrilled to go back to my childhood home in that town where everyone thought my family was perfect. Sometimes I wondered what life would be like if I broke all of their hearts and told them what it was like in that house when no one was around, but I didn’t have it in me.

Hey, Arlo says, grabbing my hand, It’s going to be okay; you know that don’t you?

I laughed a little, The only thing that I know is that I am going to have to spend the next week back home listening to everyone say my father was a great man. Otis Honors was at best an okay man and an average father. The only thing remarkable about him was his writing and considering that was all he cared about, I would say he got exactly what he wanted out of his life while he was here.

He wasn’t great, Arlo adds, but he was your father and despite how you are acting right now, I know you’re grieving. Our grip gets tighter, It’s okay to love someone even when they weren’t what you wanted them to be.

I didn’t disagree with her. There was no use when she was right- I did love him. I didn’t like him and as far as I know he didn’t like me, but I have spent the last few years of my life distancing myself from Castine and everyone in it. It didn’t occur to me they wouldn’t always be there when I was ready to go back. We spend the rest of the flight in silence dreading the eventual arrival into the small town we haven’t been back to since we left for college.

My mother sent a car.

When I spoke to Taylor last night, he said mother was thrilled to see me even under the circumstances and she would be picking me up herself. We looked around for five minutes before Arlo finally saw the sign that said Cunningham and Honors. I had to give it to my mother; she knew how to be a classy bitch, but a bitch nonetheless.

The ride there was all too familiar. We passed by Bridgeport mall which was the closest thing we had to a shopping center near Castine. The Regal theater was still standing next to the church off of Newvalley Drive. Most importantly, the waterfront cafe. It was a small cafe by the coast where everyone went to get coffee in the morning. I went there because Arlo’s brother, Ashton, was a server. He also happened to be the love of my life not that he was aware of that fact. I would go there after school when Arlo had practice and do my homework while listening to Billy Joel. Occasionally when Ashton didn’t have any customers, he would come over and take one of my headphones and listen to him with me. I missed those days a great deal. He was probably one of the only people besides Taylor and Reed that I missed.

I missed them like crazy, but I was still nervous to see them. When I left for college Taylor took it the hardest. We were siblings, but he was also my friend. I went to all of his games and he read all of my award winning essays. We were only thirteen months apart so when it came to having stuff in common we were linked to the hip. All of my favorite songs were his songs. Our favorite TV shows and movies were the same. When I told him I was leaving, he was distraught and didn’t speak to me for several days. The only reason he did was because Reed, aka the family shrink, told him they could visit me in New York and have the best sibling vacations. Every year they come to see me for spring break, except for this year. This time I was coming to visit them.

The driver let us out deep into the cemetery at the bottom of the hill where my father’s funeral was taking place. I'm dropping the rest of your things off at your house with the housekeeper like your mother instructed. Arlo thanked him with a tip and before he drove off he adds, I am sorry for your loss.

The words go to my throat like a scarf being used to choke someone. It takes me more than a minute to catch my breath but when I do I know this isn't the last time I will be hearing those words from people that know nothing about me today.

The priest is already speaking when Arlo and I join the funeral party so we try to be quiet. That plan fails because Reed runs over to me screaming with joy and asked us to catch her. Maggie! She says wrapping her arms around me, Thank God you’re here! This shit is boring.

Reed is just being Reed so mother doesn’t seem offended, just annoyed. I ignore her and reach for Reed’s hand pulling her behind me so