America, An Intervention

By Daniel Halem

Brazen, incisive and more outrageous than you can imagine, this first volume is a deliriously entertaining romp across America. Poking fun at American political and social attitudes in a style colorfully out there, "America, An Intervention" gives conservatives, progressives and everybody else something to laugh about together.

Daniel Halem is a comedian and writer with friends all over the political landscape. His hobbies include mocking the powerful and greeting the Apocalypse with a smile.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 14, 2022
• ISBN: 9781667868165

Book preview

cover.jpg

Copyright 2022 All Rights Reserved

Cover Art by Bijou Burns

ISBN 978-1-66786-816-5

Table of Contents

Egg On His Face!

Mr. Rogers Talks To Angry Old White Men

Pfizer’s Dickish Plan To Rule The World

Me, Talking With Lapd About Firing A Gun In The Air

After The Lakers Win A Championship

Hollywood For Ugly People

My Covid-19 Movie Review

Everybody Needs A Backup Country

People Ruin Everything

Mitch & Nancy Debate Covid Relief

God And Presid-Ants

Watch!!

Egg On His Face!

Egg on his face!

Egg on his face!

Someone dropped egg on the President’s face!

What an embarrassment! What a disgrace!

The President wiping egg off of his face!

"Stop all the presses! Loop the raw feed!

Get on the wire! We’ve got a new lead!"

The reporters and cameras all fight to keep pace

With the fast breaking news of egg splattered on face.

This just coming in! the news anchors exhort,

To the White House we go for this Special Report!

We’re on the South Lawn, the reporters exclaim

"On what moments before was a beautiful day,

The sun shining bright, the scene festive and gay,

The Marine band on hand getting ready to play!

It was billed by his staff as a keen photo op,

The commander en route to the first of three stops!

To a factory, school and then he would fly straight

To a party fundraiser, ten thousand a plate!

From the West Wing at 8:42 did he come

Through the Rose Garden on his way to Marine One.

He saluted the troops, to our cameras he waved,

We reporters yelled questions but no answers he gave.

As the chopper blades whirred his hand rose to his ear,

To imply he was no longer able to hear,

And just as the coast was about to be clear

Did a low flying gaggle of geese soon appear,

Hovering over the White House air space

Did one drop a large egg on the President’s face!"

This is an outrage! What a disgrace!

The pundits chime in, catching up to the chase.

They spin words around, work to make their best case

Of what listeners should think of egg splattered on face.

The most vocal critics are quick to exalt

This latest bird flap is the President’s fault!

Never mind all this talk of fine feathered assault,

They intone from their glass-circled broadcasting vaults.

"Here is a leader so roundly despised

That even the birds have begun to get wise.

My friends they have seen through his tricks and his lies.

Might this be a sign of his coming demise?"

Back at the White House, doom and gloom loom.

Advisers pour into a hushed Cabinet Room.

The thought of it makes them all queasy and sick.

How has this scandal gained traction so quick?

One thing’s for sure, if they don’t find their kick,

If they don’t react fast, then this scandal might stick!"

The President sighs, "Can’t we make a firm case

That nothing is wrong with egg splattered on face?"

But sir, his most trusted advisers forewarn,

"Doing so could turn into one big, ugly thorn.

Your staff would both kindly and humbly advise

You deny any egg hit your head from the sky."

Word soon filters out to a starving press corp.

There would be a brief statement about the downpour.

"The President wishes to settle this score

And put everything back as it once was before."

What might he say? the news anchors wonder.

"Can he