The Power of Negotiation: How the Leaders Do It

By Anurag K. Agarwal

Leadership qualities are best demonstrated under tough conditions. Negotiating during bad times to get the desired outcome is the real mark of an astute leader. Motives and emotions can play a major role in making one a leader who can negotiate with others to arrive at a mutually acceptable win-win situation. The Power of Negotiation explores the subject mainly from a possibility thinker's perspective. It elaborates on the art and science of negotiation, underlining the importance of possibility thinking for leaders to negotiate effectively. It demonstrates how possibility thinking can often make the parties agree to something which otherwise is supposed to be impossible. The book is a valuable handbook for senior business executives who spend most of their time meeting people, negotiating deals and resolving conflicts.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
• Release date: Jan 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9789389165326

Book preview

PREFACE

The world is full of problems which usually are seen by the parties involved from their own perspectives. Most contentious issues arise because of the inability of parties to understand other points of view. Successful leaders—whether in business, politics, social work, sports, armed forces, etc.—are generally individuals who understand other perspectives. The open secret of the success of these leaders is their ability to mould dialogue and communication such that it typically becomes a win-win situation for all parties involved. They are adaptable, flexible and try their best to avoid ‘either–or’ situations. The winning attitude of such a leader is about convincing the other party that they have got what they wanted out of the deal.

This book focuses on the role leaders play during negotiation and how ‘Possibility Thinking’ of a leader can often make parties agree to something which otherwise is deemed impossible. I have taught these topics for almost twenty years and dealt in discussions with fresh college graduates and executives at all levels—junior, middle, senior and top management. They have been from India as well as abroad, and the interactions have been in classrooms in Indian and foreign settings. These discussions have been thoroughly enriching. Frequent requests by participants in different cohorts to pen down my thoughts have inspired me to write this book.

The book shall be valuable for top and senior business executives who spend most of their time meeting people, negotiating various deals and trying to resolve conflicting issues. Leadership qualities are best demonstrated under tough conditions. Negotiating during bad times to get the desired outcome is the real mark of an astute leader, irrespective of the field he or she is in. Motives and emotions can play a major role in the making of a leader who can negotiate with others to arrive at a mutually acceptable win-win situation. This book explores the subject primarily from a Possibility Thinker’s perspective.

The first chapter, ‘Introduction’, sets the ball rolling with the story of a hypothetical business leader, Rajdev, who went on to become very successful because of his sterling qualities. He faced serious problems in his professional career, which made him emotionally strong. He had a burning desire to succeed under all circumstances, without doing anything against his principles of righteousness and morality.

The second chapter, ‘Basics of Negotiation’, deals with certain sets of features, tools and mechanisms that have been discussed by management gurus as the fundamentals of negotiation. A lot of negotiation is conducted by gut feeling, which makes the world look at the mystery of the inner voice and success in management. The basic principles of negotiation can, nonetheless, be helpful for business leaders. The important principles and the development and evolution of negotiation as a subject of study have been talked about in brief to simply give an overview.

The third chapter, ‘Leaders’ Traits’, examines some of the characteristics that are common in most leaders. It is necessary to understand the main traits of leaders to appreciate how their mind functions, what they want and how they achieve their goal. A leader does not necessarily have each and every such trait, but maybe a combination of some of them. It is almost impossible to find a leader who has none of these commonly experienced traits, though it is not necessary that anyone having all these traits would be an effective leader.

The fourth chapter, ‘Inspiring Business Leaders’, and the following chapters focus on business leaders who have inspired many generations of entrepreneurs and businesspersons. We start with the inspiring story of Kiichiro Toyoda, the founder of Toyota Motors, who continued his quest for achieving excellence in engineering despite the near impossibility of doing so due to government policies during the Second World War. It was his vision and determination that helped him establish the business of manufacturing automobiles from scratch in Japan. In further chapters, we talk about the inspiring stories of other business leaders.

The fifth chapter, ‘Positivity Is Contagious’, deals with the inspiring story of Thomas Alva Edison. Being positive doesn’t cost anything; however, positivity is contagious. It is a source of energy, happiness and enthusiasm for an individual and everyone else in his or her surroundings. How this positive energy brings tremendous optimism in negotiations and adds extra vigour to relationships is definitely worth studying. Edison was one of the greatest inventors, and it is worth understanding how he dealt with his handicaps and yet remained highly positive. His positive attitude was contagious and hardly anyone who interacted with him could escape that positivity. He never accepted failure and firmly believed that failures are the greatest teachers.

The sixth chapter, ‘Challenges and Threats’, discusses those faced by Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA. No business is free from challenges and threats. What a positive person does, is to convert the negative energy into a laser beam of ultra-high hopefulness. This is emulated by those leaders who wish to transcend into the higher and lonelier zones of top leadership. In his childhood, Kamprad had dreamt of owning a business and becoming famous. For this reason, he named his business IKEA; I and K stood for his initials, E for the family farm and A for the village he came from. He has been successful beyond imagination, but it was not easy. This chapter examines some real issues and blends them with the basic understanding of the fundamental principles.

The seventh chapter, ‘Shedding a Tear’, is about the humane aspects of the legendary J.R.D. Tata. Keeping the milk of human kindness intact is what makes human beings different from other animals. The zest for winning every race—professional and personal—usually makes individuals work like robots or zombies, without any emotions. This does not help in resolving issues. Understanding human feelings is important to make a good leader. JRD is considered to be the epitome of compassion and benevolence in the business fraternity, both in India and abroad. He has left an indelible mark of care and kindness on the Tata group of companies.

The eighth chapter, ‘Dealing with Tough Parties’, talks about the exceptionally difficult circumstances in which Walt Disney dealt with one of the most unreasonable businesspersons. Being tough is good but dealing with a tough negotiator is not easy. Life looks bleak when the other party in a negotiation refuses to budge even an inch. Expecting at the same time that the other party will accept all its demands, is being overconfident, snooty, arrogant and unrealistic. Why do some business leaders succeed despite such deplorable conduct? Is their success endurable? These are some questions that deserve an answer. Initially, Disney had to accept some highly irrational conditions, but as times changed, he made up his mind not to succumb. He learnt it the hard way.

The ninth chapter, ‘Beggars Can’t Be Choosers’, identifies and discusses in detail the problems one faces due to the lack of options. Steve Jobs faced such a situation in his life, and it was the greatest learning for him. Negotiating from a very weak position is not enjoyable. There is no security blanket, and almost everything gets exposed. Hence, it is necessary to remember that ‘strength respects strength’ and there is no value in simply begging for respect, honour and resources. One must try to develop the capability to be able to negotiate well and lead an organisation. Jobs was compelled by circumstances to quit the company he had founded as he was vulnerable at that time. Remaining creative and positive helped him regain respect and the power to negotiate.

The tenth and last chapter, ‘Courage of Conviction’, talks about N.R. Narayana Murthy, one of the most highly regarded business leaders in India. Inner strength starts with self-confidence, which allows the individual to stand in front of a body of naysayers and still have the ability to control each one of them with positive thoughts and self-belief. This chapter discusses the importance of self-control to channelise energy in a positive direction. One such example is Murthy. It was only because of his courage of conviction that he was able to establish a business based on vision and passion. More importantly, when all others partnering with him in the business were pessimistic about the future and did not want to continue, it was Murthy’s inner strength that made him swim against the tide.

Throughout the chapters, we will find that successful business leaders have focused on building competence, strengthening their positions in the market, consolidating their business at the right time and negotiating by creating more options than were obvious. Many of them did not follow the same style of working; yet, they were able to achieve success as the fundamental belief remained the same for all of them. They were all Possibility Thinkers.

‘Go ahead! It is possible.’ These encouraging words echoed in my mind whenever I faced insurmountable problems and felt that there was no point in continuing. These were the words very often spoken by Mamaji and Bhabhi, to whom this book is dedicated. Mamaji, Late Dr Hari Bhagwan, who earned his doctorate in chemistry in the 1950s from Lucknow University and worked hard to reach almost the top of the Bureau of Indian Standards (BIS)—then known as the Indian Standards Institution (ISI)—was my mother’s elder brother. Extraordinarily intelligent, he was outstanding in academics and an erudite scholar of Sanskrit, Hindi and English literature.

He was very well-read and had travelled throughout the world. With immaculate handwriting, wonderful thoughts and a fantastic choice of words, he easily left a lasting impression on everyone through his letters and writings. He had written several books. Since early childhood, I have been fortunate to observe him closely and still remember the memorable time spent with him. The cruel hands of fate snatched him away too early. Mamaji and my mother, Late Smt. Bimla Devi Agarwal, whom I fondly called Bhabhi, lost their mother, Late Smt. Kamla Devi, very early in life and were brought up by my maternal grandfather, Late Shri Kashi Nath Agarwal.

They spent a considerable part of their childhood and youth with their maternal grandfather, Late Raibahadur Puttan Lal Vidyarthi, who was a self-made man and had risen to a very senior position in the Indian Railways. On his own, he had studied several languages and was an intellectual of the highest order. He had mastery over many languages, religious texts, philosophy, yoga, literature, astrology and various other fields. Children of relatives, friends and neighbours used to come to seek his guidance. Mamaji and my mother imbibed many of his virtues. The focus was on education, good values and simple living. Both Mamaji and my mother practised these values till the end of their lives.

I would like to thank Mr Nitin Valecha and Mr Praveen Tiwari from Bloomsbury for their support and suggestions. As a family, we—my wife Manjari, sons Anant and Akshat, and I—have been trying our best to be absolute Possibility Thinkers. The awfully difficult and painful phase of the corona crisis, which unfortunately refuses to bid goodbye, has been a great teacher, though very painful. The only way of surviving and thriving is by being a Possibility Thinker. I thank my family from the bottom of my heart.

1

Introduction

This chapter tells the story of a successful business leader, Rajdev. The problems that he faced in his professional career made him emotionally strong. He had a burning desire to succeed under all circumstances, without going against his principles of righteousness and morality.

The Lifetime Achievement Award

While receiving the lifetime achievement award, Rajdev Chandra was emotional. When asked to say a few words about his work and success, he told the august gathering that his biography—Riches to Rags to Riches: Impact of Possibility Thinking—was due to be published soon. They would get to know about his life, work, relationships, failures, successes, fears, aspirations and everything in great detail. Then, overwhelmed by his feelings, he could only mutter ‘thank you’.

The very next morning he called his long-time associate, Madhu, to discuss the manuscript of his biography. Madhu had been working with an internationally renowned publishing house for the last ten years or so. They had a fruitful meeting as the preliminary outline was prepared. The book was planned to include three aspects: the first, about his personal life (and it was up to him as to how much he would like to share with the readers); the second, about his professional life; and the third, about his hobbies and passions. Later, Madhu introduced Rajdev to Ashok, a young writer, who would help him put his thoughts onto paper.

Within a short period of ten days, Rajdev and Ashok had developed a good rapport. Initially, Rajdev would dictate and Ashok take down in shorthand; but after some time, Ashok preferred to directly type using his laptop. The only problem he faced was when Rajdev would speak in Hindi or Urdu, as he was used to typing only in English.

With mutual understanding, they figured out that those portions in a language other than English could be written on paper and later incorporated into the manuscript. Rajdev was finding it difficult to speak about his life, as there were so many things to be told. Moreover, he was not able to narrate everything in a single flow, and expecting him to do so in chronological order was a little too much to ask for. So Ashok had to sit idle whenever Rajdev would muse about something.

To overcome this problem, Ashok suggested that he would come prepared with a set of questions for Rajdev. These could serve as useful points for initiating a conversation and help Rajdev collect his thoughts. Thereafter, he would simply explain them to Ashok, who would jot down points and later write it all as flowing text. This worked well for them.

However, Rajdev’s life had not been a bed of roses, but a roller-coaster ride, full of sharp turns and free falls before rising again. Being a passionate man and having high personal regard for Rajdev, Ashok was able to handle such situations deftly. For him, this project was not something to be done mechanically; he was getting closer to Rajdev, who was opening up, albeit very slowly.

Their conversations were usually accompanied by several cups of ginger-cardamom tea, hot samosas and fresh kesariya nariyal laddoos (saffron-flavoured coconut balls). These were Rajdev’s favourites and Ashok had also started liking them. He would reach Rajdev’s house or office—wherever they had decided to meet the previous day—at about 10 o’clock in the morning.

At around 11 o’clock, Rajdev’s wife, Ashaji, would walk in if they were meeting at home or call if they were meeting at the office and ask what should be cooked for lunch. A very serious dialogue would follow between husband and wife. For instance, ‘Should we get tur dal or masoor dal cooked’, or ‘No, just yesterday we had tur and the day before was masoor, so today you get urad dal cooked’. They would be engrossed in such discussions as if some global issue was being addressed and Ashok found it difficult not to smile. Quite often, he was invited to join them for lunch.

Very soon he realised that both of them loved each other a lot. Ashaji was a pillar of strength and emotional support in Rajdev’s personal and professional life. His passion for food was equally shared by Ashaji.

One day, she told Ashok that the kesariya nariyal laddoos were specially made for Rajdev under her supervision. The laddoos were heavenly and well-balanced in sweetness and flavour. There was always a subtle flavour of saffron, which was never overpowering but would leave a very nice taste in the mouth.

Rajdev interrupted her and enlightened Ashok about the right way of using saffron. He proudly said that the method was taught to him by a culinary master in Kashmir way back in the 1950s. Saffron threads were to be soaked in hot water or milk—but not too hot, and not boiling hot—for some time to get the right flavour and colour. It was even better to crush the threads using a mortar and pestle before soaking.

Ashok remembered the famous character ‘Captain’, founder of the Academy of Tobacco Studies in the movie ‘Thank You for Smoking’, who taught Nick Naylor (the protagonist) how to crush a mint leaf with the thumb so as to release the menthol and claimed that Fidel Castro had taught him to do so. Ashok was really amused.

But Rajdev didn’t stop at saffron. He told Ashok that the real secret of the kesariya nariyal laddoos was using desiccated coconut powder, not fresh coconut and freshly condensed milk, not the tinned one. Ashaji added that the quantity of sugar to be used should be just enough to enhance the taste of condensed milk and coconut. Ashok was truly inspired and told Rajdev and Ashaji that he would try to make them in his kitchen and bring some for them.

The next day, Ashok attempted to make the laddoos; they were a bit too sweet, and the milk had got slightly burnt while condensing. Ashaji and Rajdev tasted them and both of them had a hearty laugh. They told Ashok that his laddoos were far better than what they could make when they had first tried. Ashok was getting emotionally close to the couple but the work for the manuscript was getting delayed.

After a few days, Madhu called Ashok and told him to expedite the work. He very politely conveyed the same to Rajdev, who also agreed, and they decided on a certain minimum number of pages to be written daily.

Rajdev’s Childhood

Rajdev’s parents and grandparents had lived in united India before Partition and were wealthy landlords in the western part of Punjab, which is now in Pakistan. At the time of Partition in 1947, Hindu families were forced by circumstances to move to India, much against their wishes. It was highly traumatic for Rajdev, who was only ten years old at that time. The family could bring with them only some clothes and a few pieces of jewellery, which were also either looted or stolen while moving from their home in Lahore to the border.

After reaching India, Rajdev’s family lived like refugees. His parents and grandparents worked extremely hard for survival. It was mentally and physically tormenting for them as they had always led a life full of luxury and happiness.