Forever You: You & Me Series, #3

By Lyssa Cole

Book three of this interconnected series concludes with messes and scars, heartbreak and forgiveness, and love that's worth it all.

Some love is messy, some love is hard, 
But in the end, it's worth every scar. 
Levi broke me. He took my heart and smashed it into pieces. 
Dean picked them up and slowly started to glue them back together. 
Until one day, one glance, one tragedy…
Changed everything I thought I wanted. 
A heart so cold. A body so wounded. 
A man so destroyed.
I may have walked away but I never really left.
With broken hearts and words of forgiveness, will we find our happily ever after? 
Or are we changed forever?

*Warning- Series must be read in order
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lyssa Cole Books
• Release date: Aug 27, 2020
• ISBN: 9798201179816

Lyssa Cole

Lyssa Cole has been in love with books for as long as she can remember. Escaping into a story is her favorite pastime. Wanting to be a writer for a couple years, she is now crafting her own stories. She loves to write angsty & sexy romance with lots of heat and some suspense to keep you guessing and wanting to turn that page! She lives in Southeastern Mass with her boyfriend, two children, three cats, and two dogs. Lover of coffee, all things chocolate, & always the avid reader, you can keep up with Lyssa Cole by subscribing to her newsletter here: http://bit.ly/NLsignuplyssacole. You can also find her at www.lyssacolebooks.com or www.facebook.com/lyssacolebooks.

Book preview

Chapter One

Raina

---

Why in the hell are you here?

My heart jumps into my throat, and I blink back the instant tears as his words hit me square in the chest.

Why, Raina? I thought we were over. Words are just words, but damn, do they hurt. 

A part of me wants to run from the room and forget I spent the past month by his side as I ignored a man waiting at home for me.

Forget I love him.

But I can’t. I walked away once. 

I won’t do it again.

Swallowing my emotions, I push my shoulders back and cross my arms. I’m here to help.

Help? Levi scoffs and shakes his head. Just go. He looks away as he shifts his body in bed, the pain clear on his face. 

No. I want to help. Please. I move closer to the bed, wanting to be near him. Despite the pain burning inside and the overwhelming urge to cry and scream, I push forward and reach out for his hand.

Levi yanks it away, the sharp movement cold. I don’t want you here. Go away and don’t come back.

My breath catches in my throat. How? How did we get here?

For the past two weeks, I’ve waited for him to slowly wake up, watching as his body responded more every day.

When he woke up fully for the first time last night, he was groggy and out of sorts, and I waited in the background. The day I’ve hoped for was finally here. 

His nurse found me in the cafeteria, excited to tell me he was awake and talking even though they hadn’t expected that for another few days.

But she left out the part about how he hates me.

Does he know? Does he know how I need him? How much I care for him? How I filled myself with guilt and grief, hoping and praying he would beat the odds and come out of this with his whole life ahead of him?

He doesn’t, but I didn’t expect this.

I’m sorry I left before. But I’ve stayed by your side since this happened, and I won’t leave now.

His eyes flick to me, and when they connect with mine, it’s as if the dam breaks, the love between us flowing like a river. 

But just as fast as it came, it’s gone. His frigid stare stops it dead in its tracks. 

Since the accident?

I nod, my hope peaked for a split second before he squashes it again.

A little too late. Levi’s face tightens as he moves against the bed pillows. 

I open my mouth to respond just as the doctor comes in with two nurses.

Hello, Levi. Raina. How are we?

Just great, Doc. Just fucking great, Levi mutters.

The doctor chuckles. Glad to see you awake and talking. How’re the pain levels? 

Moving back, I give the staff room to gather around Levi, poking and prodding. He could strike someone dead with the look on his face. 

His anger surrounds him, a black cloud pulling him under and lashing out at everyone around him. 

This will be a lot harder than I thought.

Everything hurts. When can this damn cast come off? I play guitar with this arm. Levi winces as he raises his arm above his head. 

Whoa, slow down, my friend. One day at a time. You’ve been through one hell of an accident, and it’ll take time for you to get better. That includes playing guitar.

How much time are we talking? I have a life to get on with. I’ve already spent enough time in this place. Levi turns his head, and our gaze connects, a flash of sparks between us. But then he blinks, and his face is cold again. You haven’t left yet?

My face flushes as all eyes turn to me. Did he just ask me that in front of all these people?

My heart is breaking all over again, unrecognizable pieces scattering to the floor. No. Nooo. Not again.

Why would she leave? You’re awake now, Levi’s assigned nurse, the one who knows me, asks as her eyes dart back and forth between us. Even Dr. Landry looks confused.

Levi says nothing, and an awkward silence descends upon the room. 

I want to run away. 

Thank God, Nurse Lynn breaks the tension. We don’t get into family business usually, but I just want to say that girl over there has been by your side day and night. 

Dr. Landry nods in agreement. She was. I understand you’re angry right now, confused, upset. It’ll be easy to lash out at those who help, but try to remember who was there for you when you needed it most. He pats Levi’s shoulder and offers me a smile. 

Tears slip down my cheeks not only from their friendly words but from Levi, who still looks at me like I’m the last person he wants to lay eyes on. 

Anyway, Dr. Landry continues, not only do you have physical barriers to hurdle but there’ll be emotional and mental ones too. Don’t worry, we have an excellent team set up for you. With patience, you’ll find your normal self again. Your nurses here will finish up with vitals and pain meds, and I’ll be back after lunch to discuss your treatment plan. He exits the room but not before offering me a quick nod of his head on the way out.

I smile through my tears, grateful he came to my side. 

As the nurses finish with Levi, I stare at the floor with tears dripping down my face. What do I do? Leave? Or do I stay and not care how mad he gets?

What do you want, Raina?

What do you want?

I’ve been here this whole time only for him to slice me with his words. Should I continue to stay? Or do I call it quits and walk away into the arms of the other man who loves me?

Dean’s still waiting for me, giving me space, wanting an answer.

What do I do?

There really is no decision for me to make because I can’t walk away a second time. I can’t, and I won’t. 

The nurses leave, and Lynn squeezes my hand as she walks by. She’s held me on nights I couldn’t stop crying, whispering words of comfort in my ear. She knows my feelings for Levi run deep, and she’s seen and felt my pain. I’ll be back, Lynn mouths before the door closes behind her. 

Should I stay, or should I go?

What do I do?

I don’t question for long before Levi answers for me. 

Leave, Raina. I don’t need you anymore. I told you before. I don’t love you anymore.

A sob breaks free, and I choke on the words I want to say. The urge to scream is hard to ignore. How … how can you say those words to me?

He doesn’t respond as his eyes look everywhere but at me.

I know it’s not true.

It can’t be.

He’s shielding himself, pushing me away when all I want to do is help and support him.

I’m sorry I walked away before, I say through my tears as I step closer to the bed, but I won’t now. I’m here for you.

Just go, Levi whispers as his eyes fight to stay open. 

Every part of me screams to stay but why? He needs to rest, not fight with me. Besides, his words only make my wounds bleed more. 

How much more can I take?

Tears drip down my face. It isn’t him, right? He’s angry, angry with everyone and everything, and like his doctor said, he’s lashing out at those around him. 

Dr. Landry also mentioned taking care of himself mentally. What does he mean? Will Levi be different now? Just how extensive are his head injuries?

I watch as he dozes off, my thoughts in overdrive as my sobs subside. I need to decide. Either I commit to helping Levi, even if he hates me, and let Dean go, or I walk away from Levi for a second time? And if I walk away, do I go to Dean or do I set him free and lose both of them?

It’s all too much. 

I’m so lost. 

I don’t think I’ll ever find my way back.

When his breathing evens out, I fix his blanket and lean down, pressing my lips to his cheek while inhaling his scent. Why do you hurt me so?

Your words are like poison, seeping their way inside and ripping me apart.

How can he say he doesn’t love me? How can he tell me to go so many times despite hearing how I never left his side?

Levi, my Levi. Come back to me.

I love you, I whisper, and with one last glance, I slip out the door. 

Awful, Mable. Just awful. I collapse onto our couch in a heap and pull a blanket tight around my shoulders. Tears drip off my chin and disappear into the soft material as if they were never really there. 

It’s amazing how many tears one person can make. I was sure I’d run out by now, but every day, there are more, just waiting behind swollen eyelids and red eyes. 

Oh, Rai. Mable pulls me in close, wrapping me in her tiny arms as she has so many times before. What would I do without her? Tell me everything.

I fill her in on the details. She only knew he was awake and talking. When I got the news, I texted her before seeing him.

After leaving the hospital, I came home in desperate need of a shower and time to think. 

"He’s so angry. Furious. Which I understand. But he hates me, and that’s something I didn’t expect." I brush the tears away and snuggle in closer to Mable. 

I doubt he hates you. He’s mad at the world is my guess. Or mad at himself. Wouldn’t you be? 

Her question pauses my thoughts as I consider her insight.

I may be wrong, people surprise you, but I think if I was struggling with alcohol along with the rest of life’s shit, I’d fuck up too and hate myself for it. Mable’s voice trembles, and I wonder yet again about her family she doesn’t speak of. 

Yeah, it makes sense. I squeeze her tight as tears slip down my cheeks. Doesn’t make his words any less painful, though.

Believe me, I know. Mable rests her head on top of mine.

Want to talk about it? I try, but I know she’ll shut me down. She always does. 

I’m good, Mable says as she lifts her head and loosens her hold around me. How about a cup of hot chocolate?

As soon as I nod, she jumps off the couch in a hurry to escape into the kitchen. She bustles around, and from the sounds of it, I know she’s warming the milk