Not aMused: Nine Heirs and a Spare, #5

By Donna McDonald

Not aMused is a paranormal fantasy women's fiction and fantasy novel and an action and adventure tale from USA Today Bestselling Author Donna McDonald.

 

The seventh task of the prophecy is proving to be the strangest one yet. 

 

Speaking of strange, Zeus is asking to come along so he can help me. He says he's conflicted and wants to get to know me now. Only Zeus's help consists of him trying to kill a creature I specifically, emphatically told him we were not going to kill. What kind of help is that? Not the kind I need, that's for sure.

 

And Athena is on vacation. My twin is sunning herself on some tropical beach while I'm trying to convince the Gorgon Hydra she created not to turn to me to stone like it did all the female Dragons. Sure, I understand that Athena's embarrassed. Who wouldn't be in her shoes? Instead of restoring the remaining two Gorgons back into humans, she turned them into a Dragon-headed Gorgon Hydra. I say everybody makes mistakes and that she should try again. However, I can't really repeat what she said to me without wanting to stab her with my energy sword.

 

The Fates are ignoring my summons. Normally, I'd be happy they were out of the picture, but I have a ton of questions and no answers. The rest of my pantheon isn't much better. They've gone back to their lives like it's all over. The only person not ignoring me is my birth mother, Metis, but technically she's dead. Her ghost is keeping me company for a while because I needed someone with some Titan Witch skills. Currently, she's the only one willing to listen to me. Guess that happens when you tether a shade from the Underworld. I thought I'd hate her when we met, but actually, she's not so bad.

 

Athena's not the only one who needs a vacation, but Cale and I are too busy trying to save everyone to take that kind of break. Hopefully, we'll live long enough to close on the house we found. Is that too much to ask?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Donna McDonald
• Release date: Dec 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9781950619412

Donna McDonald

USA Today Bestselling Author Donna McDonald published her first novel in March of 2011. Many multi-genre novels later, she admits to living her own happily ever after as a full-time author. Addicted to making readers laugh, she includes a good dose of comedy in every book. You can visit her at donnamcdonaldauthor.com.

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Chapter

One

The good news was that my sister Athena, the most favored daughter in all of Olympus, had completely moved out of Mother Mnemosyne’s house and was currently camped out with Zeus at his condo. She was probably afraid to let him out of her sight.

I could easily imagine my twin filling Zeus’s head with stories of how badly he’d been treated by me—his less favored daughter—during his memory-loss days. The exact opposite was true, but it seemed that Zeus remembered nothing beyond my Uncle Hades throwing memory-erasing dust in his face.

The bad news was that losing the memory-challenged version of Zeus really hurt. For a brief and precious time I had a real father.

Now, the version of the man who gave me away at birth was back, and he was in complete charge of himself once more. The daughter he kept and raised once again hovered at his side looking for threats around every corner.

And I’d made all of that happen.

Did I regret my decision to restore Zeus to his throne? No.

I also didn’t miss Athena and her constant bad attitude, either. Gaia knew, my life was easier without having to deal with her daily.

The only downside to Athena leaving was that Cale, my sometimes human, sometimes Dragon boyfriend, had moved his things back to his former bedroom. True, he treated the space more like a combination office and closet, while he slept with me in my bedroom every night.

But he’d also gone back to showering again in his old bathroom.

Sure, he had a right to his own space and some privacy, but I missed the Cale Naked Show, especially on gloomy days like today.

The list of things I needed to get done before starting the next task of the Doomsday Prophecy was long. The distraction of watching him dry off and dress never failed to lift my mood. But I understood that my small bedroom was barely big enough for me and Night, Athena’s former owl familiar.

Confronting Night was near the top of my list. I’d taken the owl in years ago but recently realized that the timing of his appearance was too convenient. I suspected he’d been sent to spy on me, rather than truly needing a new home.

I also doubted that Athena had kicked him out like he said. Zeus granted Night his sentience, then gifted him to Athena to watch her back in battles. Night had lived a couple centuries with Athena before coming to me.

Maybe I’d be the sister kicking him out this time.

And I refused to think about how kicking Night out would affect his same-sex parrot boyfriend. The parrot belonged to Mother Mnemosyne, and the two birds were very attached to each other. However, neither of those animals was my responsibility.

I had my hands full just keeping track of the Hellhound puppies, who blessedly spent their days training with Zavak in the God Realm. The Minotaur trainer, and my truest friend, gave Demon and Moose good reports daily. They’d grown again and were now the size of giant Great Danes and every bit as sleek. Barefoot, I was still a good six-feet-tall and their heads now reached my waist. How large would they get? Hopefully, not bigger than Irish Wolfhounds or one of the other gigantic dog breeds in the Mortal Realm.

I was pretty sure they’d developed some sort of supernatural tracking mechanism for Cale and for me. If I thought too hard about them, they showed up within a minute or two. This didn’t happen when they were in the God Realm with Zavak, but it happened constantly when they were in the Mortal Realm with me.

Zavak assured me they were progressing normally. For the God Realm, maybe they were, but here in the Mortal Realm the Hellhounds and their developing abilities worried me.

I needed my own compound and it had to be somewhere I could put safe-guards in place. The land didn’t have to be the size of what I’d purchased for the Muses and Mother, but I needed space. I mean, you couldn’t build a portal to the Underworld in the middle of a city. No, it required a forest to hide it, as well as some enchantment to disguise its power.

Princess Petal, the future Sprite Queen who currently worked for the Muses as their office manager, was doing the hunting for me. She’d found one location that looked like some celebrity had barfed purple velvet over every inch of the house. Plus, the pool was twice as large as the house was, which used up nearly all the land.

Where would the Pegasi graze when they visited? Where would I create a fire pit to call the Fates? I nixed that one fairly quickly. I needed a field for mares and Pegasi. That was non-negotiable.

Truly, I didn’t have the energy or the power for an extensive renovation. I needed some place that was move-in ready and met my unique needs.

Cale and I were combining our savings to buy it, so we knew we had enough to buy whatever we wanted. I didn’t want to go all selfish-Goddess on a property and resort to using my Goddess powers of persuasion.

I preferred to buy us a home in the normal way—the mortal way.

Today, we were supposed to see another house. Petal was so happy to be helping me that I would have looked at totally unsuitable places all day long just to bask in her bright, smiling presence.

The best part of the prophecy work kept turning out to be the friends I made. But before I got to the fun part of my day, I had to tackle the less fun part and knock at least one task off my ever-growing list.

Which for me meant keeping my promise and doing a favor for a very special friend.

I’d dropped Cale off at the Drakon compound before making a portal to the Minotaur village. My Dragon Champion had shown me he could use his humor to control his natural urges. Since Kyril, his Dragon alter-ego, kept doing his unexpected takeover thing, I felt I couldn’t risk bringing Cale with me.

The Minotaurs were more sentiment than the creatures they resembled, but not, apparently, to Dragons who considered them talking steaks.

Of course, I was spotted immediately by the well-hidden Minotaura guards the moment I appeared next to the fountain in the center of their village. Bessie, their leader and Zavak’s current crush, must have put someone on lookout for me because trumpets started sounded the alarm instantly.

Over the last few weeks, I realized my Minotaur friend, Zavak, was nothing like the others of his kind. This was probably because Zavak saw no one outside the God Realm or Otherworld for years and years. Before I knew him, Zavak had spent centuries as someone’s prisoner.

Minotaurs, I found, were strangely formal when left on their own. They went about their business, not showing much emotion about life in general. Like royal subjects, they bowed their heads when my gaze stopped roaming to rest on them.

Despite what Zeus and others had done to them, the Minotaurs considered anyone from the God Realm to be royalty. Or maybe they only treated me like that because I was the second-born child of their creator.

My birth twin Athena and I weren’t exactly like the others of our kind. Among Zeus’s oldest children—Ares, Athena, and me—had inherited most of our sperm donor’s god-like powers. Neither Athena nor Ares truly understood that I had gotten so much, that I could have killed them with what I’d always possessed.

Zeus’s thunderbolt continued to obey me. This meant I could have made all my siblings obey me too, but I never wanted that.

All I’d ever wanted was to belong.

Now I was coming to terms with the fact that I never would. My pantheon finally knew about me. That was at least something.

Few liked me, but I’d expected that to happen. They already were jealous of each other and I was the unknown. My birth twin feared me enough to befriend me, which was at least a form of respect. Athena preferred being my ally to being my enemy. Ares didn’t have that much common sense, but I didn’t like him either.

When my birth brother Ares stopped considering me an unstoppable threat to his existence, I would hang up my warrior clothes. Until then, I was going to let my Hellhounds use Ares’s statue as their primary pee stop on their daily walk through the Muses’s garden.

Anyway, I hoped doing this short favor for Zavak—and Gaia knew I owed him several hundred—would not take me hours. I’d arranged to meet Athena at the Drakon compound in a few hours.

What I had counted on was the fact that all females, even Minotaura Warrior females, felt a need to primp themselves for the male holding their interest. I didn’t want to rush Bessie in getting ready for her first visit to Zavak’s home, but I didn’t want to wait all day for her, either.

While I was staring at the fountain and pondering, a giant overnight bag landed by my feet. The bag budged at the sides and looked like Bessie had used all her Minotaura strength to zip it. It stirred up the dust and made me cough. Laughing at her wasn’t helping matters, either.

Sorry. I might have overpacked, Bessie said, panting.

When I stopped coughing and laughing, I looked at her and stared. Jewels adorned her giant nose ring and every ring in both ears. She’d braided only part of her hair, while the rest flowed freely around her shoulders.

Wow, I said as I gawked. You look amazing.

I wanted to look nice for my first time, Bessie said, sighing over it.

I took a step back and stared some more. First time transporting through a portal? Or were you speaking of something else?

Both, Bessie said, making a sad cow face.

Her eyes drooped after the admission. I did a face-palm. Virgins. I would never understand them. What were they waiting for? That perfect male who deserved their physical gift didn’t exist.

Well, in Bessie’s case, maybe he did.

I thought of how nervous Zavak likely was right now, and the thought made me giggle. It was like knowing your brother was about to get lucky.

You picked the perfect mate, Bessie. I’m sure Zavak won’t let you down.

Did you not avail yourself of him? she asked.

"Me and Zavak? I squeaked out the question, and then burst out laughing. No. I mean, he’s ripped and hot enough for any female, but I never thought of him that way. I stuck to my own kind for casual encounters. The first time I fell in love was with a human. The second time, as you know, I fell for a Dragon."

Who was your first lover? she asked.

I laughed at the Minotaura’s complete lack of boundaries. But since I was proud of my first experience, I didn’t mind sharing. The Ferryman of the River Styx.

Bessie’s prominent but cute nose wrinkled in distaste, and I laughed again. Trust me. Charon’s tall, blond, and looks like a Viking when he’s not in Grim Reaper work clothes. He’s incredibly hot.

I believe Zavak would have been a better choice.

Charon happened centuries before I met Zavak. I have no regrets. Plus, Zavak is...

I couldn’t think of a socially acceptable way to tell the Minotaura female that I never got attracted to hybrid creatures. And then I remembered Cale was technically a Dragon and a human, which was about as hybrid as it got.

I face-palmed again. I did that a lot when I had to visit the Minotaurs. In the end, I settled for the vaguest answer I could give her.

Zavak is too much like a brother to me. I admire him tremendously, but there’s no lust involved. That’s why I searched until I found you. The heart wants what the heart wants. For Zavak, that’s you.

Bessie nodded. I hope I will not disappoint him then.

Girlfriend, that will never happen. You’re Zavak’s first as well. I don’t think he’s ever been with a Minotaura. Just be yourself, Bessie. That’s what Zavak wants more than anything. He wants what only you can give him. He wants to be a Minotaur with a Minotaura. No one but you can give him that gift.

Bessie pulled herself up to her full height. Thank you, Atlanta. Your words bring me great joy. I will be all he needs. I trust I will.

Good. Now let’s go. Your man... uh... your Minotaur is waiting. Zavak likes to keep busy when he’s stressed. Gaia only knows what he’s done to my Hellhounds today.

Zavak adores you, Goddess. I think I adore you as well. You are not like others of your kind.

Best compliment ever, I said as I reached up and hooked my arm through Bessie’s.

I used the other hand to open a portal.

Does it hurt much?

Truly, I had no idea if it hurt others or not. Sex hadn’t hurt with Charon. All I remembered was the feeling of relief to have him destroy that last barrier between us. I didn’t want to even think about what it might be like for a female not smart enough to choose someone they felt like that about as a lover.

Unlike my chaste twin, I liked my sexual experiences, was proud of myself for picking good males, and had zero regrets.

Only for a second or two, I said.

Bessie nodded. Okay, then I will be brave. Portals seem so mysterious. I’ve seen them created hundreds of times, but never entered one.

I turned to her and then laughed. Oh, you were talking about passing through a portal?

Jewels jangled and twinkled in the light as Bessie nodded her giant head.

Oh... then no. Portal travel doesn’t hurt at all.

To prove it to her, I chuckled as I dragged her into the swirling silver oval I created.

Chapter

Two

The skies were clear and blue as I sat on the Drakon portico. The freshly cut grass in the yard smelled earthy and wonderful. It was the perfect day for a picnic.

Cale tagged along with me for this task, but I’d made him promise to visit with his parents and give me time alone with my Goddess of War sister.

I hadn’t told Cale about Metis yet. He’d just stopped hating Hades during the fight with Ares. I wasn’t keen for my Dragon to hate my Underworld uncle again, and he would if he knew Hades had gifted me my birth mother to torture.

Why? Because the woman had tried to kill me at birth and my uncle knew I was still angry about it. I might not approve of Hades, but he understood my natural curiosity. Sure, he used it against me when it suited him. It was simply Hades’s way. But I was pretty sure the reason my birth mother’s spirit got put into the orb was bigger than me. Hades was the overlord of all who died and went to his realm.

No one knew about the orb yet. Revelations to Cale had to be filtered these days, especially with Kyril so easily able to take over his body. I couldn’t predict what Cale’s Dragon side might decide was appropriate retaliation for such an atrocity.

But I had decided to let one person in on the orb’s existence.

I watched Wizard, Athena’s Pegasus, gracefully land in the Drakon’s perfectly manicured yard close to the portico. He always made sure there was plenty of room to fold his wings back in wherever he stopped.

I smiled and waved, but only Wizard neighed back at me. Athena’s gaze remained locked on the main house as she slid from the saddle.

Then her head turned toward the guest cottage where she’d stayed when she lived here. Early in the prophecy, I’d tasked her with guarding Cale’s new Dragon family when Cale and I had to be away.

She was looking for Indar, but would never admit it.

Thanks to Cale and me, Dragons flew the skies once more. Thanks to Zeus’s deal with Indar long ago, they also now shifted into human. Or rather, they’d all been reborn as humans who could shift into Dragons.

All of them except Indar, the original shifted Dragon whose spirit Zeus had trapped into a bronze statue for centuries. He was the original Dragon that I’d set free.

Cale, who we now knew carried the spirit of the former Dragon King, struggled daily to reconcile his mortal life with his new reality of shifting into a massive beast.

Not that we knew what his final reality was yet. Apparently, that was still out on the table being discussed. Cale frequently reported Kyril and him have deep discussions about it.

The Fates weren’t dropping any hints, either.

Gaia’s Gardner, one aspect of the Great We, informed me that my destiny was connected to the Dragons. But she also declined to give me details that might help me understand what that might entail.

On the last quest, I’d learned that nothing Gaia said about the future was carved in stone. Like every philosopher ever born, she cited the ‘free will’ argument and explained that the future was like being pointed in a single direction. You could fight that direction for thousands of years—as I had done avoiding my responsibilities to my pantheon—or you could give in gracefully and let her minions help you get there.

However, my future among Dragon kind would have to wait to be pondered. I had too many other issues clamoring for attention.

Today, I intended to knock the biggest and most shocking task off my to-do list, if I could ever get my twin sister’s attention. Over the past few months, Athena had mastered the art of ignoring me.

Today she hadn’t bothered to even wave in my direction when she arrived. And I know she saw me on the portico.

Swallowing my irritation, I strode out onto the grass to greet my birth sibling, the famous Goddess of War, whether or not she wanted my greeting. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. I actually walked out into the yard because I wanted to pet Wizard. Athena simply was there with him.

But I couldn’t afford to be rude back and make her angry. What I had to share was going to be hard enough without my revelations starting with an outright fight over her lack of manners.

Still… Athena was being stupid to pretend she didn’t miss Indar, when clearly she did. In the end, my true Goddess-self arose in protest, and I couldn’t resist pointing out the obvious.

Your Dragon isn’t here, Athena. The Drakons refuse to tell me where Indar went. They’re pretending not to know, but maybe they honestly don’t. I can feel he’s not here, so it’s not like they’re hiding him.

Athena’s head whipped around. What are you going on about now, Atlanta? I wasn’t looking for anyone.

My mouth fell open. Only one of my own kind could provoke such shock in me. It wasn’t the first time I’d confronted the fact that I was risking my life to save people I mostly detested and could never see genuinely liking.

But saying that wouldn’t help my situation.

I was stuck with using my sharp humor to keep from hating the woman I’d shared a womb with.

You are such a freaking liar, I exclaimed, getting a good laugh at the shock on her face. When Ares attacked us, your half-brother threw you into the Muses house and knocked your ass out. Your Dragon carried you to Apollo for healing but didn’t stick around to see that you recovered. That’s not like Indar. No one would ever peg that Ancient Dragon as a brooder or a coward, nor as a male who would change his mind after centuries and centuries. What in the world did the two of you fight about that day before you returned with him?

Athena grunted and then sneered. "Indar and I shared our feelings with each other, just as you suggested. Everything is fine between us."

I made a buzzer sound with my mouth that startled Athena into jumping away from me.

"And that would be another freaking lie.