Six Minute Sex: Maintaining Passion and Nurturing Intimacy in Long Term Relationships

By Cindi Seddon and Ricky Villanueva Castillo

 Six Minute Sex! Maintaining Passion and Nurturing Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships is a fun, lighthearted look at keeping love alive as we and our life partners age together. Targeted at couples in long-term relationships, this whimsical but honest narrat

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sizzle not fizzle
• Release date: Nov 13, 2022
• ISBN: 9781738770014

Cindi Seddon

Cindi Seddon was born in Vancouver BC, Canada in 1959. She earned her Masters Degree at Simon Fraser University and enjoyed a long career in education. As a school administrator she developed a highly regarded Anti Bullying program, authoring 2 books, co producing an award winning training video and has lectured around the world on the topic of bullying. She continues to be fascinated with human connections, and is a trained Restorative Circle facilitator through the International Institute of Restorative Practise. Cindi currently lives in Port Moody with her husband Kevin and and their beloved golden doddle, Lovely.

Book preview

Why You Need To Read the Whole Book - Cover to Cover

Note to all readers!  Don’t skip through to Chapter 1 - there is a lot of dialogue before that, and everything connects.  Be sure to read The WHOLE THING, right from the very beginning through to the very end, not in one sitting necessarily, but don’t skip even one page!!

Why?

Because I am a storyteller.  And in this book I weave our tapestry of tales that revolve around the actual day to day living part of living with life long partners. My stories are true (I was there!), and from the many conversations I have had with others, my readers will relate to the diddies I tell. These stories almost always have some kind of fun, silly or ridiculous aspect to them that will make you laugh out loud!  However, they also include some of the challenges, roadblocks and sadnesses we have faced together, surviving losses and living through passionless droughts, where the words in sickness and in health are really put to the test. 

But most of all, there is a good dose of hope woven throughout these pages- hope that love lasts and continues to nurture us, hope that passion lasts throughout the ebb and flow of long term relationships, hope that we, as a couple, will always prevail despite the raucous winds that rock our boats.  And all of these intangible elements of our lives together can form a rock hard foundation that not just survives, but thrives!

As I weave this graphic, my  goal  is to help committed long term relationship partners better understand why, in the long part of  the long term, we must always choose each other, even in times of grief and sorrow, sadness and anger, loss of delight and dark lonely times.  As well, by reading this book, it might just re-ignite a passion you share with the person you chose to spend your whole life with that may have cooled down to just a flicker.  These stories weave together the journey I have been on for over 40 years.

That is why you should read the whole thing - because it forms a big picture and weaves stories of other long term relationship couples that have also survived and thrived. 

You will notice as you read, that the font changes throughout the book.  That is done on purpose, as I weave personal stories about Kevin and I (and sometimes our kids and friends) throughout the text.  Our personal stories are told in italics, and are designed to compliment the on going text of the book.  Sometimes I include lessons I have learned, and sometimes it just makes sense to tell the story.  There are funny stories, hard stories, stories of perseverance and stories of tough times we have had in our relationship.  The point of writing in this way, for me, is to reinforce that life is a series of stories, some good, others not so good, all woven together into a strong but pliable, warm and welcoming blanket that really gives me great comfort.  I hope you enjoy reading as much as I have enjoyed writing.

I just did it again, read the book again that is, for perhaps the 50th time, and it still makes me laugh in some places, and cry in others.  As I finish this project (do we ever finish?), my new pup, Lovely (yes that’s her name) sits at my feet, sleeping and being cute, following me down the hall every time I take a break, checking to see if I am ready to move around a bit with her, and I am again reminded and inspired by the possibilities that are naturally built into love - good strong steady unpredictable love, playful love, soulful love  -the kind of love that rocks your world and gentles your soul.  The kind of love that I share with Kevin, my life partner; the kind of love I have for my now grown children; the kind of love I cherish in the relationships with friends and family. I have truly found the magic key to the kingdom - sounds pretty sappy I know, but this journey starts with a dog and ends with a dog.

Starts with the Story of a Dog

We lost our beautiful dog Goldilocks on April 22, 2021.  On April 21 she told me it was time for her to go.  I listened and then did one of the hardest, most compassionate things I have ever done.  I let her go.  She fell asleep in my arms as she moved into her final goodnight when her energy changed from this world to whatever comes next.  She was so remarkable from the moment we met until the moment we said farewell. 

I came across her by way of a happy surprise in 2009, the same way all my dogs have come to me.  She was 2 ½ years old and had been a mother 5 times.  We saved her from that life, and she in turn gave herself to people completely.  She became a certified therapy dog, and I would take her to work (I was a high school principal in an Alternate school) where she would connect with the kids and the staff and make everyone feel better.  She had a sense about people that I had never seen in a dog.  Often I would be involved in very difficult meetings with young adults who were struggling, and often their parents were there as well.  Goldie learned to sense when someone in the meeting was having a hard time, and she would sit outside my office door.  My secretary came to know that when Goldie stood outside my closed office door, someone inside needed comforting.  My secretary would knock and open the door, and in would come Goldie.  She would move directly to the someone in the room who needed comforting (never to me) and she would plunk her head on their lap.  I learned to tell many surprised people that this was our school’s therapy dog, and she was letting me know that, by putting her head on their lap, she understood that something was troubling them, and that she was there to relieve the burden. There was no need for them to tell anyone in the room what the sadness or concern was.  Goldie was just providing love and comfort. I would then tell that person that, in a couple of minutes, she was going to lie down on their feet.  Sure enough, this happened every time.  The meeting would soften immediately, and in every instance, we would be able to get through some hard topics and plan forward in a positive way. She was able to raise the level of trust in the room, and I was so very grateful to be able to work with her in this way. 

However, she never let us forget that she was a dog first, and carried out all sorts of mischief and fun in her long life with us. One day, quite out of character for her, she broke into the new cat food bag and ate 10 pounds out of the 15 pound bag - a sort of self serve buffet!  We were not only shocked, but we were pretty upset about her behavior.  However, the poor girl was so sick!  She had all sorts of intestinal trouble for a couple of days but she never did anything like that again!!  I know that we were lucky to have her in our lives. 

So, what does this have to do with Six Minute Sex you ask?  Well, the deep love and intimacy Kevin and I shared with each other affected our entire living sphere, and Goldie not only felt our mutual devotion, but she came to want to be included  in hugs and dances and games and teasings.  In retrospect, this was true for all of our dogs! Goldie would get in between us when we were having a moment together, dancing to some favorite tune or just hugging each other.  She would dance around when we became playful with each other and she would try to crawl into our skin when one of us was being comforted by the other as we worked through some sadnesses.  She really wanted to bring more joy, or at least more peace, to any situation.  That seemed to be  her role during her lifetime.  I miss her, and it took me a long while to be ready to move forward, but here I am with our new little Lovely, and my heart is full again. 

Thank you for being interested in reading this book.  My hope is that you find it engaging all the way through, funny in some places, sad in others, and that it leaves you with a feeling of hope for your future, and reasons for you and your partner to seriously consider spicing up your intimate lives together! 

Thanks to??  WELL, EVERYONE!!!

Had the initial idea for this book not been met with such laughter and interest, I would likely never have pursued it.  Had people not been patient, yet still  asking about the project for over a decade, and then open to reading it, I likely never would have pursued it.  Had my husband Kevin not endorsed my efforts each time I went back to it, again I likely would neve have pursued it.  Had my youngest daughter not finally been old enough to be too shocked, embarrassed or perhaps even turned off by the idea of Six Minute Sex (by her parents) to offer her expertise on the social media front for pushing this book out, again, unlikely that I would have carried on...But here we are!  The support, the curiosity and the interest was like an elixir for me.  Every little smile, every giggle, every question about this book’s progress told me I was on to something.  The fact that, when I read the original draft script, 10 plus years after I wrote it and it still made me laugh in places, prompted that little voice in me to say GO FOR IT!  So THANK YOU,